Sunday, August 01, 2010

The Seventh Seal is Broken - Hannah Montana Tribute Bands

Jennifer Walls IS (not) Hannah Montana, but could this harbinger the end of days?

Rev.8-1: And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.
2: And I saw the seven angels which stood before God; and to them were given seven trumpets.
Book of Revelations

What follows are the Seven Trumpets and they ain't a box of butter cremes. I have heard Led Zeppelin, Neil Diamond, The Turtles, Grateful Dead, Beatles, Elvis, and of Course Rat Pack Tribute bands. Fair enough. I could even kick off my Florsheim's and polka to a Johnny and the Fat Boys Polka All Stars Tribute Band! But. . .a Hannah Montana Tribute Band?

For a number of years, following the premier of James Cameron's mock epic Titanic, every block party on terra firma was punctuated with a bevy of 3-13 year old girls offering a soulful rendition of Celine Dion's heart-tugging My Heat Will Go On

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Followed by the boys of the same age offering a Hale and Hearty

Are ya ready kids?
Aye, Aye captain!

I can't heeeaaar yooouuu!



Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Sponge Bob Square Pants!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.
Sponge Bob Square Pants!
If nautical nonsense be somethin' ya wish.
Sponge Bob Square Pants!
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish.
Sponge Bob Square Pants!

Now, that's my meat!

Practically every County Fair nickels-up for some kind of Tribute Band ( The John MellenCougars Kamp, Led Ethyl, Grateful Dale, Dave Matthews Mark Luckenjohn, or a the Jim Nabors Experience due to budgetary constraints, but I was no where near prepared for . . . Get This! -

Act: Hannah Montana Tribute -Prices start at $3,000 plus all travel expenses
This Hannah Montana Tribute show, starring Jennifer Walls, is the next best thing to the real show!
Jennifer Walls portrayal of Miley Cyrus and Hanna Montan is incredible. She has the look and the character down to the smallest of details.

The smallest detail, you say? Now, that is some tribute.

The Fifth Angel must be puckering up to Blow Man, Blow!!! That's 1st Woe a'coming, Children! Heads Up!

Rev.9: And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key of the bottomless pit.
2: And he opened the bottomless pit; and there arose a smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit.
3: And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power.
4: And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of God in their foreheads.
5: And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.
6: And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them

1 comment:

Misha said...

Hannah Montana is The Web’s Most Wanted Hannah!
(Check your score for your name too.)
More raw data is here.
Baby Names Alert.