Thursday, August 30, 2007

TENJOOBERRYMUDDS! -A Pan-lingual Epiphany


'What we have here . . .is failure to communicate.'

I get about five calls a week that go something like this. Tear ass to phone -not exactly a threat to 200 meter record, mind you, I pick up the phone

ME: Hello. (long pause ) Hello!?!?! (pause) It's your dime - start talking

Caller: EES PAHTREEK Dere. PAHTREEK ? (Bollywood Spy Theme music in background)

Me:No one ever good news-ed me with Patrick , but yes . . .


Me: No Sale, Bub! Brickhouse - Like Jack. Vale te, Bryo!(click)

When worlds collide through Out-sourced labor! Hire American Telemarketers!
What the hell, Bryan's an earner. Back to communications - this is reading like a Noam Chomsky dinner order.

Patriot, Scrimshander, American Flag votary, grubstaker, dedicated turn-signal practitioner, fiery dualist, and venture capitalist, Mr. Frank Nofsinger of Connecticut sent along the multicultual epiphany posted below:

We have all been here . . .

Or maybe you haven't called tech support recently?

By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS...

In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following
conversation until you are able to understand the term

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in with the growing trend!!!
Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: " Rye Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

G: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: ".....What??"

RS: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry... scrambled, please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I... don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn
toes' means."

RS: "Toes! Toes!..Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we

G: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?!?"

G: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy... rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjooberrymuds."

G: "You're welcome."

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

"Through this situation I've found Jesus," M.Vick 2007 Jesus Responds in Kind - Good News and Bad News!

Tip of the Summer Straw Boater to Second City Cop ( comments):

This Just In! In response to Monday's Shout-Out to Jesus by Michael Vick, The Man from Galilee Gave Mad Love to the NFL's Poster Boy for Clear Thinking and Fine Living.

There's Good News and Bad News:

Good News:
Jesus Forgives Michael Vick! That's Gospel!

Bad News:
All Dogs Go To Heaven! That's Fact!

Our Next Progressive Cleric

I can not wait for tomorrow's front page announcement:

Here's some cool thoughts from really smart guys on religion (below): Here's Quote!

By "religion" we mean a system of cosmological propositions grounded in a belief in a transcendant power expressed through a cult of divine being and giving rise to a set of ethical prescriptions

See, Mr. Lunch Pail Murphy! You thought it meant living up to the tenets of your Faith: Go to your Synagogue, Church, Worship, Wiccan Light-Up in Mount Greenwood Cemetery, Mosque, or 12-Step Program. No way, Liversausage Sandwich Lunch Boy! It's Cosmological Propositions!

Here's how I see things coming down the pike - if only Billy Dec were Religion Editor.

Tantic Cross-dresser named Archbishop of Canterbury-on-Wabash! Liev Ulhlmann Flowers, former defensive back for the Cleveland Browns, Toronto Pole-dancer, and Community Activist will conduct High Mass Episcopal Blood Sacrifice Dance at the Daley Center at Noon in Celebration of our Continued Worship of Freak Show Diversity!
Let's Get Into It!

Oh, Let's Do!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Irish Virgin

The lovely lady to the left is one of life's unplucked flowers: The gents above practicing Irish Yoga are why she might choose to remain chaste.

Here's a Nice Story - from my pal Gerry Regan of Astoria New York and editor of The Wild Geese Today

The Irish Virgin!!

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it.
Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper "final" arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:


Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen. He thought long and hard about how he could fulfil the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone. For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it reads
as follows: Returned - Un-Opened

Monday, August 27, 2007

De Senectute - McCain's the Guy!

Now this man conducted wars with all the spirit of youth when he was far advanced in life, and by his persistence gradually wearied out Hannibal, when rioting in all the confidence of youth. How brilliant are those lines of my friend Ennius on him!

For us, down beaten by the storms of fate,
One man by wise delays restored the State.
Praise or dispraise moved not his constant mood,
True to his purpose, to his country's good!
Down ever-lengthening avenues of fame
Thus shines and shall shine still his glorious name.

M.T. Cicero on John McCain - sorry - I meant Quintus Fabius Maximus, an old Roman lion who saved the Repulic in time of war.

Michael Cooper raises the age and health issue on John McCain's Presidential hopes.

Senator John McCain was fielding questions at a town-hall-style meeting earlier this month in Ankeny, Iowa, when a woman raised her hand and asked him, “from one white head to another white head,” why he wanted to be president in such troubled times.

“You’re getting pretty old!” she said, after praising his long service to the country. “And it’s such a hard job!”

Mr. McCain deadpanned, to laughter, “I’m sorry I called on you.”

John McCain has the capacity to understand the needs of his country and help lead, over the enjoyment of quiet days usually given over to folks in their seventies - usually. How many American voters with white or fleshy domes have been called upon to bail-out their children, granchildren financially or return to the company from which they had recently been retired and put it back on a war-footing for commerce? How many retirees are taking in the children of their grandchildren and raising them to be solid citizens, because the onus of parenthood was too much on the MTV generation? How many experienced veterans of Vietnam have gone into the classroom to help give kids a real education? How many retired police and fire professionals have gone back 'into service' as consulants in Post -9/11 America ? Quite a few. Just outside my cubicle, passed a retired University of Chicago Biophysicist who is up-dating Leo High School's Science Department.

Cicero, a brilliant but oily politician, had the genius to recognize the best in other men and women; though he understood his own deficiencies:

Again what vigilance, what profound skill did he show in the capture of Tarentum! It was indeed in my hearing that he made the famous retort to Salinator, who had retreated into the citadel after losing the town: "It was owing to me, Quintus Fabius, that you retook Tarentum." Quite so," he replied with a laugh; "for had you not lost it, I should never have recovered it." Nor was he less eminent in civil life than in war. In his second consulship, though his colleague would not move in the matter, he resisted as long as he could the proposal of the tribune C. Flaminius to divide the territory of the Picenians and Gauls in free allotments in defiance of a resolution of the Senate. Again, though he was an augur, he ventured to say that whatever was done in the interests of the State was done with the best possible auspices, that any laws proposed against its interest were proposed against the auspices. I was cognisant of much that was admirable in that great man, but nothing struck me with greater astonishment than the way in which he bore the death of his son-a man of brilliant character and who had been consul. His funeral speech over him is in wide circulation, and when we read it, is there any philosopher of whom we do not think meanly? Nor in truth was he only great in the light of day and in the sight of his fellow-citizens; he was still more eminent in private and at home. What a wealth of conversation! What weighty maxims! What a wide acquaintance with ancient history! What an accurate knowledge of the science of augury! For a Roman, too, he had a great tincture of letters. He had a tenacious memory for military history of every sort, whether of Roman or foreign wars. And I used at that time to enjoy his conversation with a passionate eagerness, as though I already divined, what actually turned out to be the case, that when he died there would be no one to teach me anything.

There is so much that an experienced leader can give to the Republic, especially in time of War. John McCain is that leader. Give Cicero a look and give McCain your support; he has mine.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Tragedy Falls on the Common People: The Greeks and Hillary Clinton as Medea

How much I fear something will happen!
Great people's tempers are terrible, always
Having their own way, seldom checked,
Dangerous they shift from mood to mood.
How much better to have been accustomed
To live on equal terms with one's neighbors.
I would like to be safe and grow old in a
Humble way. What is moderate sounds best,
Also in practice is best for everyone.
Greatness brings no profit to people.
God indeed, when in anger, brings
Greater ruin to great men's houses. (118-130)
Euripedes Medea

Yep Them Greeks had their fingers on us Working slobs long before Progressives in American thought decided to kick down the doors of common sense by having things work every which way -Thus, ' if you do not pay taxes at all, then, you are the "working poor;" if your sons and daughters are fighting in Iraq, We must support them by undermining any and all Faith in the conduct of this horrible war; if you are a thug criminal, you are a victime of systemic racism and police abuse and if you are working police officer, you must do your assigned job of serve and protect society from the thugs so determined to be victims.' Make sense? Does to Progressives.

If you happen to disagree with Progressive thought, you are racist, an Uncle Tom, unfeeling, war-mongering, stupid, and despicable. Progressive ( not necessarily Democrat or Liberal) thought or doctrine controls the mainstream media( MSM). It's vast, but ain't no conspiracy - it's just the way it happens to be.

Today, the Hillary Clinton Campaign for President wants everyone to know about the 'vast Rightwing Conspiracy' against her - and Believe it. It's in all the papers and on TV - it must be true, as Grandma Donahue was wont to say. 'That Liberace is dating not only Sandra Dee, but having it off with Debbie Reynolds right under Eddie Fischer's nose. That Liberace is some sheik!' Yep, hey Gramaw, Dewey Won!'

Hillary Clinton is the most talented political in-fighter in this latest Presidential brawl. What she believes in is irrelvant - my guess is next to nothing and everything - so long as she scoops up power. She'd be a Republican, a Green, LaRouchie, a commie, or an Ultramontane if that is what it took. She'd make Frank Booth, Man Mountain Monahan, Tony Soprano and Blue Duck, from Lonesome Dove wet their britches. I'll bet that John McCain on his best day would opt for a couple of more weeks in the Hanoi Hilton over a couples weekend in the Hamptons with Hill and Bill. Honor bright.

She has always reminded me of Medea from Euripdes - a talented, tough broad who has been crossed by an equally talented satyr of a husband. Hill= Medea ( someone tell Tyler Perry that this is not an homage to his cross-dressing 'attitude' Ontay this is the old Greek stuff); Bill= Jason. Now, before, Progressive Harpies from some Lakefront Womens Progressive Coalition start getting knots in their Opaques, Hillary has yet to hack up her little brother and leave his bits like breadcrumbs from trip home or snuffed any of her off-spring, but she has exhibited a marked talent for revenge and pre-emptive political violence - her 'black-bag boys' were worling Chicago for skinny on Barack Obama, long-before he announced his candidacy in Springfield last November. Bill has been goating about about the nation from Harlem to Helmer getting the last bits of poison from the cloak when Monica went up in flames. The Clintons - the Greeks could have made them up!

These are some great people : who will do, say, believe and promote anything to exact punishment or snatch victory over the backs of little people. They are classically great in the Greek Tragic sense of greatness - like the guy mentions above. Obama and McCain are citizens - good guys - and certainly not Olympian upstarts. They ( either man) would work well in a Democratic Republic. The Clintons mount the big campaigns, bring home the fleece, confound Cadmus and other arch-enemies. They also bring on huge problems - that come down on necks of the average slob.

Friday, August 24, 2007

From The Chorito Hog-Leg: Work Detail at Tulagi

Here is an early passage from The Chorito Hog Leg, Book One: A Novel of Guam in Time of War The protagonist, Tim Cullen, is assigned to a punishment detail on Guadalcanal after being caught drinking moonshine - raisin jack- on field problem by his platoon commander, Lt. John A. Buck. Cullen meets the legendary Gunny Higgins who already aware of Cullen's talents and personal integrity:

7. Shitbirds of Tulagi
His eyes burned in front and throbbed in back, his tongue and throat never seemed satisfied with cool water and every nerve in his frame bugged up to perspiration, sensation, and irritation of every sort. In short, Tim had a hangover going on its second day without let-up and activity was what he needed most which worked out nicely with his place in the punishment detail forming up in front of 1st Battalion ‘First Shirt’ Gunny Higgins.

Gunny Higgins had no ears to speak of –rather, lumps of muscle that seemed to have been pegged aft of his temples. Wearing a pith helmet, impeccably pressed khakis, leggings and boondockers, Gunnery Sergeant Billy Wheat Higgins appeared to be standing on a platform above the two rows of ten green utility clad Marines wearing green fiber helmet liners as covers. He was standing on the same soil as the boys before him, but he was so much above each and every one of them in the eyes of men and boys.

‘Side-Straddle –Hops until I am well pleased and I am never well pleased!’ Throwing Arms to a point geometrically above his head and casting his legs out like colossus to His ‘OW –un! And reversing the limbs at ‘HOO!’

‘Move MotherFuckers! I’m not doin this for my health!

‘Ow-Un; HOO; OW-unHOO! & etc for fifteen minutes without let up.

‘Fall out –You Box Me.’ Fall out - Men Die. Fall out - Boys Might. Fall-out –Don’t Try!’

After the full fifteen minutes Gunny Higgins’ body snapped shut like an expensive switchblade to signal the end of calisthenics.

In the tropical heat with all of the physical snap and strain not a drop of sweat spotted his arm-pits or blemished the cleanliness of his khakis. Strapless his pith helmet never went askew, nor fell from his square muscled head. Gunny Higgins was Gorgon and Apollo wrapping the soul of Voltaire and the balls of Rabelais.

‘I have served the flag in uniform from the time that you mewling tit-suckers tore out the snatches of some fine women. I do not ask who is my enemy or what his thoughts might be or if we had supped at the same table last night. I do not give a shit that the Pope locks up! Major Opley and men up the chain from him have determined who my enemy will be – Today –tomorrow- and until Jesus takes back the Aggies I stole from that Jew wood-butcher. ‘

Without looking into any man’s face, Gunny Higgins pointed down from his majestic height and moved his long thick broken right fore-finger –slowly and judicially.

‘Each and every swinging man-log on parade before my tired eyes is my enemy, because the very men up the august chain from whence all truth calls down have told me that you are. I have butchered greasers on the Coco River and Niggers in Haiti and Japs wherever I find them and traitors to the flag without so much as a thought because I was ordered to fight and kill them. But each and every one of you have made my enmity boil because you have pained your elders and betters up that august chain – You have soiled Duty and Honor as Fuck Ups! I will amend that before my next hard-on! LCM at the beach step lively – Now! ’

And the twenty in green double-timed it to the awaiting landing craft. The coxswain ordered each of the twenty green fatigued men in the work detail to put on life-belts and made the port perch aft available to Gunny Higgins.

. . . . ( In the Landing Craft Mechanized -LCM)

‘Tulagi beach master and step on it, Coxman! I might kill a handful of these pearls, before the task gets ripe, You a Louisiana Man Coxman?’

‘Born and raised in Cribstone. . St Laurence parish . . .,’ the warmed sailor began.

‘Well, Fuck You then! Sail this craft without incident and I’ll get beer call for you and your three sisters. Honor Bright!’ and Gunny was as good as his word. He stepped down three of the steel rungs into the cockpit next to Cullen and put his steel portside arm around the boy’s shoulders. ‘I saw you on Boogan . . . in the aid station and later on the line. You handled that .30 like a salt with four hash marks; must be a gift, son. Stare ahead and don’t eye-ball me son or I’ll carve off your head and shit down your neck. Now, listen here, Major Opley remembers you from that scrap and saw your name down for my detail that is why I called you out. He liked your sand in taking that four-eyed Navy saw-bones by the stacking-swivel. Yes, Sir, that pleased him. He wants me to baptize you in the blood of lamb before our next walk on the beach. You need to step up into the shoes of the dead.’

The LCM beached at the Transport Cove on Tulagi and the twenty-one Marines disembarked and formed up. Gunny Higgins exchanged more obscenity laced compliments to the boat crew and informed them where they might pick up the cases of Drewery’s beer in possession of 1st Battalion Gunnery Sergeant William Wheat Higgins.

The twenty man punishment detail stood at ease but alert to the coming commands of their overseer. Gunny Higgins had gone from the LCM to pick up the manifest from the Tulagi Beach Master’s shack that would process the possession of 10 tons of .30 caliber ammunition for 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines.

All of the ammunition needed to be clipped and belted by the squads and gun crews in their company areas, but it would be the task of this detail to transport the ammunition back to Tetere Beach on Guadalcanal, check and clean the rounds before clipping and belting.

Gunny Higgins burst the propriety of the efficient beach master’s shack with a hurricane of filthy language and imprecations against the Commander of the South Pacific Area, General Douglas Macarthur, whose domain included the ammunition stockpiles on Tulagi.

The designated stockpile had been bulldozed – ‘to keep it safe from fire. Bullshit!'

Wacky Mac had decided to throw a screw into Gunny’s Marines and that was the long and the short of it. His boys needed to bail through the mud and dig out their ammunition crates and could be assured that their tasks would be longer and more demeaning. Bougainville had been Admiral Halsey’s show and Mrs. Roosevelt had come to the Canal to praise General Turnage’s fine men who took that island from the Japs so handily. At this very moment dog-faces under Generalissimo MacArthur were slugging it out with the Japs and losing hundreds of men as well as real estate on Bougainville. The Third Division had handed the campaign over to General Patch on Christmas Day 1943 and now the U.S. Army was having a tough time sealing the deal. Macarthur hated the Marine Corps.

Standing legs spread and four-square before his detail, tall, tanned, khakied and commanding Gunny Higgins pointed over his port shoulder to the bull-dozed stock pile – his pith helmet squared.

‘I have pissed rainbows of beer over taller mountains than God can lay bricks on full breakfast! From the rocky coast of Maine to sunny Frisco Bay, I have fucked them all – countesses, millionaires and movie stars! The sight of me makes proud men blush and maidens as wet as a New Orleans hooker shop in August. I have bested men and boys at cards, games and quick draw. I can eat the crotch out of a running Grizzly bear and ask for seconds on servings of mule shit, but I am four-eyed and fucked over this one, Girl Scouts!’

‘El Supremo has determined that the men who snatched Boogan from Tojo need more work and so the Supreme Commander of South Pacific Forces ordered the Quartermaster Corps to have the .30 caliber ammunition earmarked for the 1st of the 3rd Marines covered with Tulagi. Nothing to it, girls, but sweat and suet! Cullen get ammo carts from the beach master take four men - the other half of you get to digging, and relay passing all ammo to my feet. Move!’

Five peeled off in the direction of the Beach master’s shack where he had already assembled ten ammunition carts and each man pulled two carts back to Gunny Higgins.

‘That Yankee Momma’s Boy has not seen the day where Men of the one True Corps can be set back a-heel by a candy-sucking cavalryman! Assholes and Elbows!’

With pride and anger, the punishment detail hefted and clawed and pulled and carted the heavy mud-caked and soaked ammunition crates. They loaded the ten ammunition carts and two man teams horsed them back to the beached LCM that would take these angry boys and their soiled ammo back Tetere Beach on Guadalcanal. For three hours this detail dug the prized rounds out of Tulagi soil and mud, gave the crates a perfunctory cleaning and stacked them on the carts and hauled them to LCM and restacked them.

As the job disintegrated like the caked soil on the crates, a knot of Army brass and journalists and photographers assembled on the knoll above the work detail. Centered in the group was the unmistakable Roman profile in crushed overseas cap with scrambled eggs, the foot long corn-cob pipe, the casually tailored khakis and slow sure gait of a Man of Destiny in his late sixties.

Gunny Higgins had his back to his enemy and like he had been in the jungle these last twenty years- well aware of his enemy’s presence, their strength, and their deployment. His electric gaze targeting only the twenty individuals awed by Macarthur’s apparition and enraged by his arrogance in slighting those beneath him. Tim Cullen pushed his loaded ammo cart with all the determination that he had legged on the football field for Leo High School and not unlike his playing days he was bested by a better man.

Gunny Higgins understood Cullen’s intentions to howl, vent, threaten and assault the Supreme Commander of the South Pacific and with one casual step to his right, blocking any view of his subsequent actions from the gawkers and the patrician above and behind, Gunny Higgins telescoped his left arm to Cullen’s throat, catching the boy’s Adam’s apple between his sandpaper thumb and his thick deadly forefinger with whispered, ‘I love frying Papist Porgies for a Po’Boy but only in my own oil. Do not give that Army cunt one scintilla of reason to laugh at a Marine’ and released the boy to cart the ammo to the LCM.

I love that boy, thought Gunny Higgins, Hell; I’d fuck all his sisters and the Pope’s mule for that little display. That boy will do fine.

The work continued for another hour and without comment, the Marines took their contaminated ammunition away for cleaning. This incident spoke mountains for the small man on the hill and the giant hearts of those he thought he would abuse.

The LCM took proud and happy men back to Tetere Beach and none happier or more filled with pride than Gunny Sergeant William Wheat Higgins. Upon return, to 1st Battalion headquarters tent, Billy bubbled like a school-girl with new crush – he was dreamy in love with Tim Cullen! Major Opley was delighted as he had always been a great judge of character and this red-headed runt who had stayed on the line as sick as he was and found the strength to tear at the Battalion surgeon’s throat for calling him a malingerer and now wanted to single-handedly assault a hill full of Army brass and reporters for fouling the Marines, no wonder Billy was in love.

For the next two weeks every man in the 1st Battalion had heard about Tim Cullen from 1st Platoon Able Company and how he tried to kill Douglas MacArthur and was saved by Gunny Higgins, while they cleaned and re-greased every round that they would fire during the up-coming Guam Campaign

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

George Ryan Better Than Those Who Wish Him Pain

George Ryan was prosecuted and convicted in a Federal Case that seemed like a Show Trial, right out of Joe Stalin's playbook. I hope that Judge Michael Kanne's dissent leads to a more balanced hearing than the one Ryan received in 7th District Appeals Court.

I have met George Ryan at many wakes and weddings, in Kankakee and Joliet. He is a very nice man. I'd buy the man a steak any day, at Ken's, Krapil's, Franconello's or some such homey place reminiscent of Kings Court and Town and Country in Kankakee, if he'd allow me. George Ryan did not seem to match Gibson's or Tavern on Rush or the other news-ghoul & hustler eateries. These other fore mentioned places are where George Ryan's people eat.

The type of people who go to Ken's and other neighborhood dining spots are the people George Ryan connected to - not political allies, hangers-on or opportunists, but people like Ryan himself. I witnessed quite a few of George Ryan's many acts of kindness to people who could never do any political boon for anyone - let alone George Ryan - too numerous to catalog. He treated Joe Blow from the docks at Tenney Sales on 5th Ave. in Kankakee like he was a Sam Zell with an ink wet contribution check. Conversely, I have followed the words of many familiar voices in print that have universally called for a mighty punishment on George Ryan - most of the people writing those words seem like people that I can do without.

It seemed to me that Ryan's Judge and Federal Prosecutors were going to get George Ryan come Hell, Highwater, or the lady with the blindfold. and they did - the voices in print ( paper and electronic) - sock-puppets or anonymous back-shooters for the most part - howl in genuine agony that George Ryan has the same rights as other citizens. 'The quicker he is in jail the happier I'll be' read one such post. Must be a lovely person.

Progressives had a little thing they called reign of terror in post-Revolutionary France and Russia: kept folks scared and in 'Oh,I Agree' mode. Like-minded later-day Defarges and Berias still scream for blood and toss rose petals at the feet of their Jurists and Prosecutors with more tracks to their railroad than William S. Burroughs' inner forearm, legs and toes - but that's just me.

From -The Chorito Hog-Leg - The Old Corps: Fictional Marines in Nicaragua

Two central characters in my new novel, The Chorito Hog Leg, Book One: A Novel of Guam in Time of War, Lucas Opley and Billy Higgins represent "the Old Corps" - pre-WWII professionals - blooded in the banana/sugar wars of Haiti and Nicaragua in 1920's and '30s. Hard men like Opley and Higgins linked the hundreds of thousands of boys, who would join the Marine Corps in America's war with Japan after Pearl Harbor, to the skills, outlooks and traditions of jungle fighters from America's early experiments with colonialism. Their experiences made the Marine Corps of WWII Legend.

10. The Old Corps
1st Battalion, 3rd Marines was commanded by Major Lucas Opley after appointment by General Barrett on New Caledonia in April of 1943. Lucas Opley was given the Battalion after his transfer to the newly formed 3rd Marine Division from the 1st Raider Battalion on the recommendation of Col. Merritt ‘Red Mike’ Edson.

Major Opley had been awarded the Navy Cross along with Gunnery Sergeant William W. Higgins for their two-man counter attack on the left flank of the Japanese at Bloody Ridge. Both armed with B.A.Rs, the then Capt. Opley and Sgt. Higgins swept the left flank of the Japanese attackers and helped save Henderson Field and thus the delicate American hold on Guadalcanal. Lucas Opley 38 years old was featured in photos with Edson in Life Magazine and mentioned in the after action report that passed from General Vandergrift to Admiral Nimitz. This veteran Marine adventurer had the rugged good looks of Saturday Western Serial Star and the polish of a public relations man. Within that wrapping beat the heart of a killer who massacred the extended family of General Sandino in Nicaragua in 1931 on the Coco River Patrol.

Sergeant Lucas Opley and PFC. William Higgins led an eight man patrol west on the Coco river in two shallow draft motor boats after several mines in the Mosquito Coast had been raided by Camacho Ruiz the cousin of General Sandino, the Jeb Stuart of Nicaragua. Ruiz hated the Yanqui mine owners who had come down to exploit the wealth of his country’s natural resources. Ruiz and Sandino had clerked for American Mine Owners in Honduras and in Mexico and knew the patterns of their payroll operations in Latin America. Ruiz robbed the offices of Canfield Zinc Operations in Tecaquita and killed four hired American guards Ruiz and his band of twenty men and four women burned the supply shed, warehouses, and closed the shafts with dynamite – in short Ruiz put Canfield out of business for four months.

In that time, intelligence had it that Camacho and his troop had cut northwest through the jungle and through the hills toward the Sandinista strong hold on the Coco River near Merizo in the North.

Capt. Edson sent a runner for Opley and Higgins in Cabo De Grazias de Diaz on the East Coast. ‘ Sergeant, I want you and Corporal, that’s correct Private, you are now purple. Do not lose the stripes on liberty. Take ten men in two boats with supplies and ammo for three weeks. Take the Coco west to Nell Island off the village of Tuskru Tara about 60 miles west of Cabo. Leave two men with the boats. Leave the newer meat. Cross at the shallows and sandbar here on the southwest of Nell and cut trail to set an ambush for Camacho Ruiz, we figure that he will try to make Buena Vista and you should intercept his column to the east & west flowing creek between Keri, Tore Cinco and Campiamento Omega. He is taking mule and trail up from the Mosquito Coast and you should intercept him - about here.’ Edson pointed to map with his letter opener – mother of pearl handle with photo in-lay cameo – his wife. ‘Gives you about eight square miles of patrol space to set up your ambush.’

‘Do we need to worry about prisoners, Captain? Punitive expedition?’

‘Purely.’ Edson looked at Higgins and understood his eagerness to get started as he loved violence and exercise.

‘Corporal, the United States of America is balancing the effectiveness of the Marine Corps in supporting Democratic Elections and not in creating an international incident. Prudent and effective termination of outlaw activity is paramount to that end. Exercise judgment. Lieutenant Murphy will want a complete report on your activities and you will maintain company records for this expedition as Sgt. Opley will have more than enough to do. I want an exact accounting for each round fired by whom and to what effect.’

With those orders, Lucas Opley and the skilled Corporal led the ten men into the boats – Opley and Higgins in the lead boat and PFC. Gunty with three men – the 60mm mortar and the Lewis Gun ands supplies. Two of the three would stay on at Nell Island to watch the boats and man the Lewis. Opley laid out the plan.

‘Privates Sater and Dupuis, you will be charged with protecting the boats and ammo stockpile until the patrol returns. Gunty you will have charge of the .60 -mm. bring twenty rounds and take ten rounds on the trail and leave the rest with Sater and Dupuis. Pick your mortar team.’

Gunty pointed –‘Essenhouse and Krieg. Draw shotguns and pistols. Geisser, Loew - Thompsons, Durkin, Flatt, and Pall take ‘03s and draw pistols all of you. Cpl. Higgins will take the Browning and Flatt –you will assist him. Each man will carry ten grenades and a hundred rounds. No mules so it will be all ‘cut trail’ about fifteen miles south of the Coco but all down hill. The bandits are coming to us. Each morning, Higgins or I will take one man with light pack and pistols for a look see. I expect to do three miles a day and no more. We want to stay fresh and sharp. When we spot the bandits we will have already staked out a solid ambush point and fleshed out any escape paths. We will not talk to natives on this one. We want to appear to be a standard patrol on the river. Equipment check in three hours – Corporal Higgins get the gear.’

Fourteen days later, after cutting trail and scouting the slopes south of the Coco, Sgt. Opley spotted the line of march of Ruiz and his Sandinistas. Half of the twenty four rode and the half guided the mules and traded every four hours. It was an arduous task moving the men and supplies up and out of contact with the Coalition Police patrols that only half-heartedly wanted to catch Ruiz. The Yanquis were another story, because they wanted to stay close to the cantinas y putas in Cabo.

How wrong they were. Opley set his ambush about sixteen miles south of the Coco River – midway between the towns of Torre Cinco to the east and Campamiento Omega to the west. Jungle country just west of the Wawa River where a shallow creek running southwest from the Coco curved away from the flow of the Wawa and the tired and confident Camacho column waded against its gently running waters between two sets of hills. No sounds but what God had placed there to give voice and echo – but that whistle?

Gunty’s five nicely patterned .60 mm. mortar rounds wildly drove Camacho’s column to meet the enfilading fire from Thompsons and Springfields and into the teeth of the powerful Browning automatic rifle in the hands of Billy Wheat Higgins. Every man and woman in the column was knocked hors de combat by the Yanqui lead and tried to fire back in panic and futility. Half of Ruiz’s column was killed outright by mortar and the cross-fire. Camacho himself lay face up in mid- stream coughing up bits of lung and pints of blood while gulping in fresh cool water from the Coco River tributaries – purified through its course and now toxic with Nicaraguan blood.

Opley and Higgins emerged from their cover and signaled the other Marines to do likewise. They fired into the bodies of wounded and dead. One woman with her right knee shattered by a round from a Thompson found the strength to fire her revolver at Pvt. Flatt and hitting him square between the eyes before having her body shredded by Higgins. Billy picked up the woman’s revolver - it was an Army Colt .45 but now useless as one of the rounds from the BAR had impacted on its cylinder. Billy tossed the gun. ‘Meskita snatch out of business! Flatt‘s seen the end of days, Sergeant. ‘Hollowed out the back of his melon for fair. The rest of you pollywogs make some holes in these greasers before one of ‘em sends you on to the beyond.’

The firing continued tightly and efficiently. When every soul had been set free, Lucas Opley took a Kodak Rainbow Hawk-Eye No. 2A, Model C camera from his haversack and photographed every body where it lay including Private Lester Flatt, USMC age 17. He then took a picture of the seven survivors and Billy Higgins and then posed with Billy and handed the camera off to Gunty for his turn. The photographs would be developed and sent by Major Utley in Cabo to Gen. Augusto Cesar Sandino through his channels in Honduras. Copies of the photos would stay with the American charge d’affaires in Cabo. Opley kept duplicates for himself and his liberty mate Billy.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Chicago Media to Blame for What Will Happen

These Chicago Police Officers Helped Katrina Victims - that was before they were portrayed by Chicago Media as Racist Murderers. Chicago Media have much to answer for- but, since they control information, they ain't talking.

The Sunday Edition Sun Day Sun Times Commentary again bashed Chicago Police Officers and called for a Seattle Solution and Transparency. Really. The open meeting of the Police Board was a shining example of what the foolish in Chicago Media, particularly the Chicago Sun Times, have done to tell the worst elements in our society that they can do, say, and get away with in Chicago. Police Officers are marginalized thanks to the Chicago Media.

Vice-Lords, website Reverands, thugs and romantic Leftists ( seeking those halcyon days of 60's yore) called for the murder of a police officer in full view and hearing of the media covering that event - they did not print or cropped from the video that fact. No News is Our News. News fit to frame only.

The Sunday Commentary and CST Commisar Reed's demand for a 'Seattle Solution' to Chicago's race problem kicked up a notch by Reed's own efforts:

From 8/19/07 Commentary:

Thursday's meeting of the Chicago Police Board was a prime example of how Chicago's cops have copped out. The board abruptly adjourned after a mere 20 minutes, apparently unable to handle tough questions surrounding the controversial shooting of 18-year-old Aaron Harrison earlier this month. Activists and residents, demanding the name of the officer who fired the fatal shot, were just too unruly, police said.

Yes, some in the crowd spoke out of turn. And the audience included protesters known to make the average cop groan. But considering the tensions in the North Lawndale neighborhood, the Police Board should have endured some uncomfortable moments and listened to residents. The outbursts certainly didn't merit the nine members getting up and filing out the side door.

In fact, the group's frustration mounted when the board looked the other way. Only then did they approach officers and start chanting in protest.
To its credit, the board did acknowledge the crowd's concerns and acting Police Supt. Dana Starks even told them the case was a "high priority" for the department.

Harrison was shot Aug. 6 as he ran from police. The medical examiner determined he was hit in the upper rear shoulder -- which would be consistent with the police explanation that Harrison was shot as he was turning toward them pointing a gun. Many neighborhood residents say the fact that Harrison was hit in the back proves that the shooting was not justified, as police contend.

As we noted on this page last week, we think a public hearing should be held any time a police officer kills a civilian. We give police great power and latitude to protect us, and rightly so, but with that should be a responsibility to publicly explain why that power was used. A hearing would be far superior to what we have now, which essentially boils down to the police saying, "Trust us."

For instance, why is it that we know virtually nothing about the cop who pulled the trigger and shot Harrison
Emphasis my own;

Like his phone number and address?? What a stupid statement! Do you know the people that you are calling 'activists and concerned citizens?' Sweet Jesus, A real pro like Neil Steinberg nails down all the corners of story BEFORE it rolls back up on him. He's about the last Man on your bench to bother checking the facts. Steinberg gets it right and reports on it.

Did reporters covering this disgraceful activism do due diligence on the people suggesting that the Gun Turn-in Program is a Police Dodge to Use 'Drop Guns' and plant evidence? Why did the Sun Times not print the chants calling for the murder of the police? Transparency? Why Not UFO complicity in this Police coverup? It would make as much sense as your Starbucks Defence System!

My neighborhood is home to many, many Chicago Police Officers - black, white, Hispanic, bikers, PBS subscribers, male and female. Very few of those residents work in the 22nd District. Two weeks ago, two black officers ( a male and female) helped my son when he was assaulted and robbed by four black young men one block from home. That was the second such blacks ( pl.) on his singular white hinny beating. However, Race did not enter the picture whatsoever in their concern for his cuts and lumps and professional interrogation of him about his attackers - Thank you Officers of 22nd District ( Kudos to Pat Garrity -Commander -thankless job Commander)!

The Police are concerned for all citizens. But that is not enough for jerks and the 'I want it right Now!' activists. The Police were unable to catch the four guys who beat and robbed my son. My son is alive, not breathing through tubes, and has all his working parts. Lost an IPOD and Cell phone - big deal. He was set upon by gutless thugs and fought off worse damage to himself. BTW- he's not scanning Aryan Nation websites - good man!

The Police work very hard, but they are up against the Media, the idiot Politicians, the Lawyers and the Criminals. Sometimes the bad guys win. These two black officers were unable to catch my son's attackers ( that was the second such attack on him by black robbers who came into the neighborhood to assault kids - white and black- because the thugs know the shift change patterns in what are deemed to be low crime precints and beats). Durkin Park happens every day.

More so, Police are becoming more and more demoralized by the continued stupid and misleading assaults on them by the Chicago Media ( TV and Print). Do your job as an Officer and you can be tried in the public eye by the Media and sued by the jackel-lawyers the Media shill for - lose your home, your pension, if not your very life.

When confidence in Law Enforcement is artificially undermined, citizens lose. Criminals are liars and sneaks at the core of their natures. They are not Jean Valjeans stealing loaves of bread to feed their children. They are bullying thugs who do not fight, rather they swarm their victims. They are cowards who hide behind the Nine and, when that jams, the very Laws that they violate! The members of the Complicit Media are worse, because they should know better. These crimes are on the Media, because you chose to play ball with the worst elements in our society.

When race-hustlers, street-gang members, criminal opportunists and Lotto Ticket Lawsuit Lawyers have been handed over the Keys of the City by the Media, Chicagoans can expect more beat-downs, drive-bys, robberies and outright murders. If a riot occurs in Chicago, citizens can lay the blame squarely at the feet of Chicago Media. This one is on you - the Media.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Thomas the Train Engine Co-Star Takes a Brody from Sodor Hyatt Window! World of PBS - Mildly Upset

Sad news to report from the island of Sodor, a Commonwealth of Public Broadcasting and vacation spot for PBS regulars Studs Terkle, Secular Archbishop Dr. Wayne Dyer, Tavis 'All About ME' Smiley, Bill Moyers, and Way Cool Dutch Fiddler Andre Rieu.

This island of rigid people and manically smiling passive aggressive motor vehicles was rocked by the sudden and apparent suicide of Arthur The Engine. Sodor Police suspect no foul play -as this is Sodor and not Chicago. No Crime -No Foul! - the motto of PC ( Public Corporation) Police of Sodor.

Engine, A Chicago native and built at the old Purdy works in the 'tight-knit ethnic' Hegewisch Neighborhood - a long-time member of Annunciata Catholic Parish, but Chicago Public School Alumnus in the 10th Ward, Arthur the Engine, a close pal of Thomas the Tank Engine,- despaired over the flood of news and television reports that Chicago was a hot bed of intolerance, racism, 'that's how it is?' and generally lawless hum-buggery. A note saying - 'that's not what I understand it to be!' was left on the television in the Sodor Hyatt.

Depending soley on Chicago Media for information on his hometown, Mr. Engine imagined that this Media Coverage was an accurate portryal of his family, friends and neighbors. Arthur often complained that he should have gone to Mt. Carmel High School instead of Bowen as that would better have prepared him to deal more openly with passive aggressive people of PBS and the Chicago Media, who portray most Chicagoans as racists, illegal scam artists, or race hustlers. Arthur the Engine believed this not to be accurate.

PBS Spokesperson, Bea Moron, shrilled, like Sir Topham Hat Himself - 'Yes It is! Deal with it! Arthur could not.'

Concern over the recent escape of Immigration Activist Elvira Arellano, the constant droning on about the Evil Chicago Police and the flood of reports on pandemic racism in Chicago by the Chicago media sparked the Children's Programming star to 'pull the Dutch Act.' - Chicago euphemism for the ultimate personal exercise of exitential choice!

PBS Spokesperson, Bea Moron, stated 'We should all learn to 'Be More On!' Arthur never understood that people do not live together with respect ( I can now bring my Chou into Gibsons and other trendy cafes) and it is the nature of Progressive News and Programing to pick the scabs and make sure that they fester properly. When we coin neologisms, like systemic racism, and report on stories that make no sense as if they are really important - people really get active. That's a good thing; whether it is 'doing street and drive-bys, rioting or going thug!

We should all ' be more on' like PBS. Grants from huge foundations, Venezualan Dictators and Edgey Corporations are not enough! PBS needs pledges from the people that we insult on a daily basis. We do to all of you for some of us! That is good stewardship. Arthur never understood that - Poor Arthur thought it was all on the level - like a Diversity Celebration in Lake Forest. Thomas has no comment. Dr. Wayne Dyer will officiate at services for Arthur. Pledges are required and tote bags and Andre Rieu CDs issued for pledges of $200 or more. Truly.'

Be More On

Friday, August 17, 2007

Orson Welles Would Love Chicago 'Intellectual Activists'

Ladies and gentlemen, here is the latest bulletin from the Intercontinental Radio News. Toronto, Canada: Professor Morse of McMillan University reports observing a total of three explosions on the planet Mars, between the hours of 7:45 P. M. and 9:20 P. M., eastern standard time. This confirms earlier reports received from American observatories.
Now, nearer home, comes a special bulletin from Trenton, New Jersey. It is reported that at 8:50 P. M. a huge, flaming object, believed to be a meteorite, fell on a farm in the neighborhood of Grovers Mill, New Jersey, twenty-two miles from Trenton.
The flash in the sky was visible within a radius of several hundred miles and the noise of the impact was heard as far north as Elizabeth.
We have dispatched a special mobile unit to the scene, and will have our commentator, Carl Phillips, give you a word picture of the scene as soon as he can reach there from Princeton.
In the meantime, we take you to the Hotel Martinet in Brooklyn, where Bobby Millette and his orchestra are offering a program of dance music.

My Apologies - that was not Andy Shaw!

Chicago Media panders to the worst instincts and agendas in our society. Witness yesterday's moronic disruption of Police Board.,CST-NWS-shoot17.article,1,3009037.story

Another 'Intellectual Activist' ( read 'things have not worked out too well in life and so it's time to live off of taxpayers hard-earned money') Queen Sister of the It Takes A Village Organization - must be listed somewhere with the State of Illinois as a charitable foundation, I couldn't find it - argued that the recent gun collections in Chicago were the source for the obvious murder weapon:

Community activist Queen Sister of the It Takes a Village organization told the board that the community suspects that police are planting on civilians the same guns turned in during gun buy-back programs.

"We are here to question Dana Starks on the guns that come in," Sister said at a rally before the meeting.

Another Rising Star in the Intellectual pantheon - by most accounts the old, rusty triggerless guns turned in for the $100 Gift Card couldn't drop a lineman with full blown consumption from the Heidelburg College Football Team.

Orson Welles had nothing on Chairman Fred's crowd. When will the Chicago Media begin to respond to Community and Intellectual Activists with a 'thanks for your call - we'll get right on this story as soon as the Mothership takes off!'?

But the Media is just a nutty - or as dangerous. Mary Mitchell conjured up the possiblity of Race Riots:

Could we have riots?
You're not being paranoid if you're worried that there could be a repeat of the riots that broke out in predominantly black neighborhoods the '60s over police brutality.
Because when an 18-year-old black male is laid out in a casket, dead from a bullet fired by a Chicago Police officer and it is the police officer's word against the angry shouts of his relatives and community residents, it really doesn't matter what the truth is.

Ther you have the Truth does not matter - more precisely 'it really doesn't matter what the truth is.',CST-NWS-mitch16.article

Really, you can't make this stuff up! The Chicago Media does - big time! So as our children die in more drive-bys, beat-downs, race-crimes of opportunities, drive cars through crowds of kids, and Chicagoans shed more tears - look to the Chicago Media!

The Chicago Media may have much to answer for; they should.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Kevin Joyce Delivers for Working People

Illinois State Representative Kevin Joyce (D) 35th Legislative District is a working public servant. Joyce gets things done for the working people of his Legislative District, which includes Chicago and south suburbs, and for all the people of Illinois. Here's a bit on identity theft from his Home Page:

Recently, Illinoisans have been assaulted with more taxes and more burdens placed upon the shoulders of working families. Speaker Madigan is the most effective elected official in Illinois and it was a crime to see how he was treated by political hacks at the Democrat Day State Fair, yesterday. No one has done more to help ease the burdens on Illinois tax-payers than Speaker Mike Madigan. You did not hear Madigan jackasss out some Elvis to take a shot at the Bollywood Governor or ComEd's best pal Emil Jones. Too much Class! Working Class!

Kevin Joyce and so many other effective public servants have been hard at work trying to ease those burdens. Here's an e-mail that I received from Representative Joyce that details the work that he did during the foolishly long budget session:

August 13, 2007

Dear Pat:

For the last 14 months I have been working with my colleagues in the House of Representatives and the State Senate to deal with the outrageous property tax hikes proposed by the Cook County Assessors Office. I am happy to inform you that both chambers have passed legislation that would extend and increase the property tax cap bill which the General Assembly enacted a few years ago.

House Bill 664, of which I am a chief sponsor, will not only extend “the 7% solution” for an additional three years, but also increases the exemption cap from the previous level of $20,000 to $33,000 in the first year, $26,000 for the second year and $20,000 for the third year. These exemptions are not contingent on household income.

During the negotiations of this bill, I was able to input addresses randomly chosen in the 35th district to determine what impact the different cap levels would have on our taxes. Under the existing language of HB664, bases on 100 different addresses, the average property tax incase in the district is less that 2%. Without this legislation, the same addresses would have increased an average of 45%.

Provided that the Governor acts quickly to sign House Bill 664 into law, there will be sufficient time to implement the relief provided in the legislation for upcoming property tax bills issued by the County Assessor.

This tax relief package, while helpful, is not the end to the property tax issue that has been raising concern among taxpayers. Therefore, the bill also creates a Property Tax Reform & Relief Task Force to make recommendations directed at comprehensive tax reform and prevent the recurrence of this problem.

There are several other important exemptions created by this bill specifically impacting senior citizens, veterans, and families of fallen rescue workers that I have outlined below. Should you have any questions regarding this or other issues, please feel free to contact my Mt. Greenwood Service Office at (773) 298-0035.


Kevin C. Joyce

Exemptions Created or Enhanced by HB 664

1. General Homestead Exemption – Increase from $5,000 to $5,500 for 2008; increase to $6,000 in 2009 and thereafter. The last increase was in 2004.

2. Senior Homestead Exemption ­­- Increase from $3,500 to $4,000 in 2008 and thereafter. The last increase was in 2004.

3. Disabled Homestead Exemption (New) – Creates a $2,000 exemption for disabled homeowners.

4. Returning Veteran Homestead Exemption (New) – Provides a one-time $5,000 exemption, available for the year in which they return from duty.

5. Disabled Veteran Homestead Exemption (New) – Gives a $2,500 exemption for veterans who are 50% to 75% disabled; $5,000 for 75% to 100% disabled.

6. Senior Freeze – Removes the graduated exemption between $45,000 and $50,000; the maximum income will be $55,000 beginning in 2008 and thereafter. The last increase was 2006.

7. Circuit Breaker – Increase each income threshold by $1,000. The last increase was in 2006.

8. Municipal abatement – A municipality or county may abate some or all of its own taxes levied upon property owned by the surviving spouse of a police officer/firefighter/rescue worker killed in the line of duty.

That's a good example of the work done for tax-payers, Kevin and so many other of our elected officials, Republican and Democrat. We spend a good deal of our time grousing about the ineffective and self-congratulatory mole-hills piled by the crumbs with their snoots in the back pockets of some in the media and never hear about the people, like Mary Flowers, Jim Brosnahan, Ed Maloney, Kevin McCarthy, Jim Durkin, Dan Cronin, and so many others.

Working people do have elected officials wortking very hard for all of us. Let me know about effective public servants in your neck of the woods.

Next week: Illinois State Representative Mary Flowers - Helps Give Kids the Tools needed to succeed through Boxing!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

We're Not in Arcana Anymore - Sun Times MiniSpeak; Mini-Tru; MiniMal!

"Old Worker Joe Speaks the Lingo!",cst-edt-edits15ab.article

From Today's (8/15/'07) Sun Times Commentary:

Dictoral gov should be ashamed of his actions

Anyone else blink at that one in Today's CST Commentary? Dictoral ? I heard it before? Where? Misprint for dictatorial? Neologism? Let's Get Into it! Edgey Word.

Goodle Search - "Did you mean Doctoral?" Nope Dictoral - check NEWS - Yep. Only Sun Times. Dictoral + Dictionary: Eureka! Hellatine Dictionary of Bureaucratese

Consistent - Goofy; phoney; pretentious, but Consistent. Hence, my near daily satiric renderings and legal/eagle monitorings by the poor goof in Bensenville ( watching my silly blog for hours on end for the Powerful and the Simpy) on the Snooty Sun Times - Post July 15th Manifesto:

Here's some words you can expect to see from Commisar Reed's blottered and stamped dictates:

adj., Powerless; futile; impotent. Also anorchistry.
(L. an orchis: without testicles)

n., a transipidate pairing of terms, where even the dullest of comparisons seems bright.
(Gr. anoxy: without air + moron: air-head)

v., To reduce a statement to absolute brevity without loss of context.
(L. aprica: peach pit )

n., Irrational fear of repeating an error.
(Gr. psodos: stammering)

n. an impossibility plausibly presented, as is good science fiction. Also ardnassic.
(orig. unknown)

adj. Blunt or dull; without distinguishing characteristics.
(L. ab rostrum: without nose)

Any component designed to fail under stress in order to halt further progress, with the intention of limiting further damage.
(orig. uncert.)

n., Any keystroke struck in frustration, most typically in an attempt to revive a frozen system. The group secretary could be heard asking Tech Support, "so
where's the asskey"?
(orig. Southern US dial., ASCII)

n., A verbal communication which cleverly conveys non-verbal clues. "The comptrollers attitone made it clear that the Sisyphus Project would continue."
(comb. attitude + tone)

adj. Having the properties of, or resembling an aun. adv., In an aun-like fashion.
(Aun. aun: aun)

n., The level of indwelling risk of or proclivity toward being or becoming a loose cannon. The tendency to go off half-cocked.
(Gr. auto: self + L. mitto: to send)

adj., Rubelike; guiless by virtue of ignorance. Innately or congenitally defective.
(Gr.a: without + zaphos: pinch or short measure. Refers to a facial defect associated with incestuous origin)

adj., Presenting a cold, negative manner, e.g. when faced with an interview, and clamming up, and becoming reserved, monosyllabic, difficult.
(botany. barbate: covered in short stout spikes or sharp scales.)

adj., Unshakable in an erroneous conviction or belief. also barmstrength
(Brit. slang. barmy: crazy + Eng. strong )

n., An innocuous nonesense reply used to gently dismiss the statement or opinion of someone that does not realize the meaniningless nature of the reply. "James routinely countered the impossible requests from his ignorant manager with eloquent barshamana, which was always accepted simply as technical jargon."
(Yid. barshamana: sheep manure)

v., to consider a decision only under immediate duress.
(OE, beable: the deaf and mute guard traditionally stationed at the door of the torture chamber)

n., Ingrained mediocrity or laziness jealously defended by the corporate culture.
(Malout Beba, 14th century cult leader espousing sleep as the highest form of active meditation.)

adj., Overgrown; weedy; a xygency of neglect.
(Rastafarian: b'dread'd: with superlative dreadlocks)

n., A bouscent, jenking bureaucrat; one that constantly annoys and alienates all his co-workers.
(OE: beele: an inferior rat dog.)

n., An unpleasant but necessary action which has no alternative. "It was a bissenstein for Dave to proose the amended legislation."
(Ger: bissenstein or bissen stein: a kissing stone or to kiss stone)

v., To strigulate or halt a process by focus on unimportant detail or details. n., the element of a discussion or negotiation which, without merit, forms the basis for impasse or filibuster. Also blagery.
(It. blaggio: a stomach cramp.)

v., To come in while the worker isn't there and alter a project he's been working on so that it no longer works. To surreptitiously remove an essential part of a device. "Wood blilbed the aluminum prism out of René Blondlot's N ray device. Blondlot saw no change, thus proving that N rays were a figment of his imagination."
(Hebr. bli leb: with the heart missing)

n., Work innocently performed off-book; untraceable items added to or removed from a file or document without any authorization, paper trail, supporting research, or fraudulent intent. The hallmarks of bobwork are twofold: 1.) the file or document establishes troublesome precedent, and 2.) The precedent cannot be rescinded or ammended, since its source is obscured.
(Orig. in blame of generic unavailable person: "I think Bob handled that case before he went into the nursing home.")

n., A state of resigned paranoia.
(Bohic: the historically most frequently conquered people in Europe)

v., To dress up or improve a mediocre product by use of a showy presentation or slick marketing; the use of flarbage.
(L. bonus: good + Gr. girdle)

n., A seemingly ironclad proposal with a purposely built-in achilles heel. Software which later allows the developer inappropriate access to customer data.
(Sipanyi mythol, Bos Nog: the Bull with a hollow horn)

Remember when Working People used words common to the fellow citizen? Well, this is a Brave New World: Murderers are victims of Police Misconduct; people who live near Durkin Park are 'close-knit ethnic racists;' Crown Heights Al Sharpton is a Tonic To Chicago; the more Lawsuit Lottery Ticket Lawyers get huge help ( almost daily basis) from a big newspaper and sue the City of Chicago for millions of taxpayers dollars no matter how ridiculous the claim, the better Working People will be. MiniTru Dat!


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

George Cardenas! Drink Our Water - the Best in America! Tax Bottled Water!

'What are you drinking?'


'What you pay for it?'

'Three Dollars'

'There's a fountain over there - the water's all paid for.'

'This is better; it's in a bottle.'

That was a conversation that I had with each of my three children. They, each one of them, believe that McDonald's is haute cuisine because it is packaged and marketed by suits who get obscene salaries and shilledby a Clown right out of Michael Jackson's wildest dreams - that clown really creeps me out!

Enter Chicago Alderman George Cardenas. A guy with His head locked on it's swivel! NO GOOSE GUTS - NO NANNY STATE GOOFBALL IDEAS - COMMON SENSE. Tax bottled water. Bring in some revenue without costing the tax-payers a lung! We paid for the water already. Now, we need to bottle it ourselves - horrors for some delicate souls no doubt.

Chicago has the best and cleanest water in the nation thanks to the Jardin Water Filtration Plant. It keeps up with the toxins tossed into our Lake by the Brits of BP Oil. Great corporate citizens those beauties. This tax makes sense and it will make solid dollars out the two-bit tax. Too bad it missed LaLaPalooza - plenty of Green Tree Huggers drinking redundant water out of petroleum based by-product toxic vessels! How many empties to make Mt. Vrdolyak even higher along the Bishop Ford? There is so only so much room in that land-fill and with all the disposable diapers, six-pack rings, Pringles Packs, and old polyester suits and softball jerseys - Mt. Vrodolyak is getting tighter than pockets on a fat man's pants. Tax them water bottles. 'Three Bucks A Bottle!???!!!' We, Chicagoans, have perfectly good Lake Michigan Straight!

Call it the vain idiot tax -for paying a lung for water in the first place: 'I drink only Aqua Snob!' That certainly makes you smarter, taller and thinner! Gee, where can I toss my hard-earned dollars away like you, Cuthbert? Do Eskimos purchase vanity ice cubes? No doubt the would, if they had an Inuit Idiot like Joe Moore in the Frozen North! Tax Plastic Bottled Water! Alderman Cardenas, you are on!

Bottled water - bottled by whom? - comes in petroleum waste products - landfill fuel that tax-salaried employees must haul away. Let's help pay those folks - Tax Bottled Water! We got plenty of the best drinking water in the world, tight here in Chicago. Alderman Cardenas, you are great example of why Mexican Americans deserve their growing leadership position in American Political Life: effective, smart and public spirited ideas that can and should be implemented! Well done, Sir!

Now watch all of the nitwits League and Coalition up against you! You'll do fine , Alderman!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Cops Got Latitude! 'Let'sGet Into It!' Prudence and Patience dedicated Sun Times People

'Prudence, that might just be one of the gang the New Working Man's Friend ( I refuse to say Pal . . .) Chicago Sun Times reported on this morning - here I clipped the article along with the wonderful coupons that I send Lupe to Costco with: Finally real news, Pru! News that Matters to People who matter. Let me read it to you:

A woman working for a Chicago dog-walking service has been charged with multiple counts of theft, after clients of the business complained about property missing from their homes.
Jillian Robertson, 21, of the 6100 block of North Winthrop, was arrested Saturday, police said. She has an Oct. 2 court date, police said Sunday.

Robertson is charged with five counts of misdemeanor theft.

'Mercy me, Patience, these criminals should all be strangled by fine men from good lineages - like that lovely Michael Skakel. I noticed two or three such handsome brutes at 1st Presbyterian last month - Summer is too much for Services, Really! The Brutal Police have too much Latitude and shoot guns - I detest Gun Violence! - for mercy sakes, at Our Coloreds! Patience, I still send checks to Operation PUSH so that Our Coloreds can live where they'll be most happy - and belong - in their wonderful ghettos - let's take a Ghetto Tour! Let's do! - or pushing out the bumpish Slavs, the Mafia and those racist and close knit Irish pigs.'

'Prudence dear, your skirt is tucked into your panty hose again - here I'll straighten - Six Cosmopolitans at the Drake before lunch just might be too much but there is no alcoholism in our veins we just get girly -- there! Good enough to board Conrad's Concord . . . This was such a nice Gold Coast to have Dickie and Marbank and Priapus walked, but I do not trust those illegals we hire - except Lupe - because doncha know - because my nephew, Cuthbert, Merchant and Felatia's oldest - Choate, Yale ad MBA at Chicago - has twenty of Lupe's cousins living in a barracks out in Lake Zurich on that lovey Nursery, Arboretum and Equestrian Academy that he purchased from the Jaynes Family - one cross look and INS sweeps in! Lovely manners those men, the Jaynes' and they all saddled so well!'

'Thank you dear, Patience. Imagine; a girl with a name like ours - and not a West Indian either! Must be some insanity in her family - don't we all. At least the Sun Times is looking out for our interests again, not since Dick Simpson did our bidding here and ran against that monster-Slav Rostenkowski, have I felt so comforted again.'

"Prudence. A good strangle would help teach these young things a valuable lesson about a Person's possessions! I understand that the best people in Seattle have their own Garrotiers to give lesssons and scare the help!'

'Seattle is Progressive! Imagine a town full of yummy Flint Taylors, Locke Bowmans, and Jon Loevy's - almost NO Jews! It's comforting that we can tell the truth about the Jews, again! Zell buying the Tribune! Horrible Man! But that Reverand Sharpton is such a Tonic to the City! Patience. With fewer Jews, Seattle has all of the tone-ier shops. In Seattle, the help are mostly Asians and they tend to get surly - a minor drawback.'

'Are those three young men married or unattached?'

'All three???? Really Prudence!'


Sunday, August 12, 2007

Sun Times: Latitudinarians for Weinie Law Enforcement

Immediate Above Center is the current result of the CST proposed Starbucks Seattle Police Defence! Note to One and All - Seattle - where male looters wear purses!

If this fails the Mayberry Bullet response is next! Take the Latitude out of the Chicago Police - Sun Times opines

President Ronald Reagan scared the Ruskies back into Church with his Star Wars Defence Strategies - Old Mike -Mikhail Gorbachev - took the Soviets to dacha and went all Free Market, Dudes.

The Working Man's Pal, The New Sun Times can not allow the Police to continue to do their jobs -,CST-EDT-edits12.article - which includes ' great power and latitude to protect us'

'Hey, Man! We give you cops the Latitude - Dude - you may return fire on on a killer and go home to your kids! But, We ( CST, Vice-Lords, GDs, Flint-Locke-Loevy, Tonic Al, Jesse, Media Goof-balls and imported Commie talent) reserve the right to throw you into jail'
Now its the Starbucks Police Defence!
Makes sense under the July 15th Manifesto:

If a thug puts them at Death's Door, Police officers should exercise less latitude and consider the attitude of the dysfunctional demographic that embraces the triggerman - Say, for example, at St. Richard's Polonia Fest a pierogi sated Polish youth hurls a deadly kielbasa and the
Latitudinarian Chicago Cop Executes the Kennedy High Honor Student by 'water-boarding the boy with Happy Kossack Vodka causing a toxic eruption of vital organs - happens all the time but the Police Rule of Omerta keeps it from the public - and we care - we really and truly care! How about those crazy Swedes, or the really scary Koreans? Them Hindus ? Don't go there? It's the Latvians that really pump up the jam! 10-1 in Chinatown - Lookee here, all the time!

WPB ALERT! AREA 2 & All Available SOS UNITS! 'Bev Rats in curled brim baseball caps, scraped on the side walk to make it look way-cool and all wearing over-sized cargo shorts seen carrying shiney objects at Kennedy Park! The little bastards have Coors!!! What kind of Monster sells and arms them teenage Mick thugs with Coors?'

'Mobilize -We Must! We want a Cop Indicted evey day! No Police - No Peace! wait a minute???'

The Working man's Pal has a Starbucks defence against Police Abuse:

You might expect that cops would be reluctant to take the stand, but Sgt. Rich O'Neill, president of the 1,250-strong Seattle police union, said officers frequently testify, though he conceded most of the cases aren't controversial. "We have found that it quashes a lot of rumors and innuendo that are out there," he said.

Inquests aren't a panacea, either. No one can recall a Seattle cop shooting ever being ruled unjustified, leading to complaints by some that the system is still rigged. But such complaints may be hard to eliminate entirely, no matter what system is used. And with greater transparency, at least the public can better determine whether an investigation is being taken seriously.

I can NOT wait for Al Sharpton to use PANACEA in a compound-complex exclamatory sentence!

Back on Point:
Let's see -

Seattle and Chicago - Odin's Onions! It's like looking in a mirror! Mayberry and Chicago even better. have Dick Simpson's UICC 'Lab Boys' crack some numbers on this data - Stat!

Isn't that the town where the coppers in Ninja Turtle outfits get their pants pulled down by suburban Grundge Rock Periwinkles every year! Bang-up job, Lads! Imagine Stabucks Police in Fillmore, Harrison, Englewood and Gresham? YAYZOO! With them Starbucks Coppers casting the dragnet, Leo High School would look like that fort in Last of the Mohicans or in deference to diversity El Ultimo de las Mohicanos! We'd have a beat-down on the entire school population on a daily basis - 'Yu a 4?' - maybe that is the idea! More violence. More Blood. More Money.,_Washington#Demographics

Who says the editorial (skate?) board of the Working Man's Pal is bankrupt???? Oh, the Accountants - the Shareholders - yeah they say it's pretty close to bankrupt. Oh, well- Have a Starbucks! The Mayberry Street Cred Defence System - will limit Latitude to a single small caliber round for each Officer in deference to Attitude! 'No Peace Police!'


(THEOLOGICAL NOTE: LATITUDINARIAN: the term was later used to categorize churchmen who depended upon reason to establish the moral certainty of Christian doctrines rather than argument from tradition. Limiting)

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Tribune's Kevin Pang Gets it Right - Cop takes a bite out of crime!,1,2880309.story

Kevin Pang of the Chicago Tribune does a nicely crafted bit of journalism in his August 9,2007 report on the ticketing of the Oscar Meyer Weiner Wagon whose drivers decided that the working people of Chicago 'can go around' Corporate Power!

Kevin crafts some wonderfully meaty tropes in a very clear report. This writer is solid.

Also, another good Chicago writer, Second City Cop, reports on the west-side outrage, cattle-prodded into mob action by Brownie's Chicago Tonic - Al Sharpton and the long-absent Meal-ticket howler Rev. Paul Jakes on WVON yesterday. Didn't he fade after it appeared that he pumped a couple of 9mms into his own car when running for office? It think that it took place over in Washington Heights - Oh, well!

The Working Man's Pal gave the Lawsuit Lotto Lawyer Plumber's Helper a page two (2) boost on it's print edition - that no one is buying at the White Hen (giggle). However, NOTHING on the web????? Sun Times reporter Annie Sweeney wedged in a some of the truth in her Friday report and deserves a pat on the shoulder - as it appears now that the late Mr. Harrison was not, in fact 'shot in the back' but in the upper shoulder, as CPD had reported.

An autopsy by the Cook County medical examiner's office ruled that Aaron Harrison died from a gunshot wound to his back, a point that residents have seized on as they have protested the shooting.

But on Thursday, a police source said Harrison, 18, was struck at the top of his left shoulder, not in the back. This is consistent with the police version of the Monday night shooting that Harrison turned a weapon on police before he was shot, the source said.

The CST editors are leaving AL and Fred Hampton and Paul Jakes out of the web news on a Saturday????? Moist Muffins, Martha! What's up with that? Keepin' it Real?

Second City Cop gets it right. In a better world reporters would actually talk to Police Officers instead of verbally baiting them. Maybe Annie Sweeney and Kevin Pang will start a trend in journalism towards responsible citizenship. Quien Sabe?

18th Century Genius Dr. Samuel Johnson wrote of the dangers to citizens of his London due to the artifically polluted political atmosphere thick with 18th Century Sharptons, Hamptons, and Jakes' - the criminal was afoot, because he was protected by activists, hack journalists and corrupt politicians:

London: An Imitation of Juvenal's 3rd Satire

Prepare for Death, if here at Night you roam,
And sign your Will before you sup from Home.
Some fiery Fop, with new Commission vain,
Who sleeps on Brambles till he kills his Man;
Some frolick Drunkard, reeling from a Feast,
Provokes a Broil, and stabs you for a Jest.
Yet ev'n these Heroes, mischievously gay,
Lords of the Street, and Terrors of the Way;
Flush'd as they are with Folly, Youth and Wine,
Their prudent Insults to the Poor confine;
Afar they mark the Flambeau's bright Approach,
And shun the shining Train, and golden Coach.

In vain, these Dangers past, your Doors you close,
And hope the balmy Blessings of Repose:
Cruel with Guilt, and daring with Despair,
The midnight Murd'rer bursts the faithless Bar;
Invades the sacred Hour of silent Rest,
And plants, unseen, a Dagger in your Breast.

Mad Love to Doc Johnson! Dog was Whack!

The Crown Heights Prince of Discord has even more like minded goofs crowding 'Preferments Gate' in tow - including Grant Newburger a Marxist carpetbagger that ABC 7 seems to like a real lot. It's a Big Tent for Al's Circus -

Read about Grant Newburger - Richard "Grant" Newburger seems as sincere as Jon Loevy and the other clowns popping out of the lawsuit VW!

Note to Corporate @ Oscar Meyer - Little Oscar would NEVER have double parked the Weiner Wagon in such a cavalier and desperate manner! I wonder if these current double parking drivers have contacted Jon Loevy? Maybe their repressed memories can scare up some long imagined electrodes on their weinies.

Remember, Boys and Girls, what old Dr. Johnson saw in London - it is the atmosphere artificially created by creeps- that creates the crime. That is why there are robberies, gang atrocties, drive-bys, beat-downs, racial division. Criminals and thugs will act, because they feel safe to do so. If we accept the filthy fingers controlling the thermostat, then we should not complain about the heat.

Here's a shout out to my Ameritech watchers in Bensenville and Naperville! Now, who's afraid of Free Speech? Just a working man's opinion on public events! I hope you kids ( lawyers?)enjoy the prose!

Friday, August 10, 2007

August 10, 1944 - From My Novel The Chorito Hog Leg, Book One: A Novel of Guam in Time of War

August 10th marks the day in 1944, when American Territory Guam was declared 'secure' after more than two years of Japanese Occupation. My historical novel, The Chorito Hog Leg, Book One: A Novel of Guam in Time of War tells the story of a teenager from Chicago, Tim Cullen, who maintains his vow to an officer he respects. Cullen's platoon commander, John A. Buck of Giddings Texas, asks Cullen to return an antique Colt Revolver to his family, in the event of his death. Lt. Buck trusts the young combat veteran to hold on to an return the Colt, knowing that their battalion commander desires the gun.

Book One of my novel is a fictional treatment of the events covering the time from April 1944 when the 3rd Marine Division trained for the Guam Campaign on Guadalcanal to the day, August 10, 1944, when Corps Commander General Roy Geiger declared Guam 'secure.' The irony is that more than 10,000 Japanese continued to fight the Chamorros of Guam, the U.S. Army and especially the men of the 3rd Marines (regt.) ofthe 3rd Marine Division. Here is the conclusion of Book One - from The Chorito Hog Leg, Book One: A Novel of Guam in Time of War:

Col. Stuart’s 3rd Marines with the Doggies of the 307th
on their right were gaining about four miles of Guam a day.
Now shifted to the Division’s left flank with elements of the 1st
Provisional Marine Brigade taking the east coast roads north
shattered the Japanese at Finegayan and finally liberated a town
– huts, pigs a chapel and gas station and plenty of desperate Japs.
Guys from the 21st Marines discovered about 30 Chamorros
mostly teenagers and old men, beheaded with their arms tied
behind their backs. Everywhere the Marines found abused and
terrified people – real boon dock dwellers and as unfamiliar
with English as they were with Japanese. The Marines and
G.I.s showered the people with boxes of rations and in turn the
liberators were kissed and housemaided! Many people tried to
follow the Marines up to the combat and needed to be gently but
sternly kept back. At night Marines heard howling through the
jungle and thought that some small animals were signaling their
final stages of starvation.

Lt. Ames - over Sgt. Mike Joyce’s strident ‘Are you fuckin’
nuts? Table of Organization, Sir! ‘- demanded to take point two
miles past Finegayan and was decorated with a sniper round
that made a clean hole through his forehead – he walked three
paces before he fell over. Pat Collins killed the sniper.
Stanley Paul and little Onarga Roberts were killed at the
road block defended by twenty Japanese soldiers and a light
tank. Henry Clay killed the crew of the tank when he noticed
that one of the hatches was opened slightly; tossed a white
phosphorous grenade down into the turret. Henry was still
talking to himself and his act of valor might have been an
attempted suicide, but he was awarded the Bronze Star (V) and
picked up a Purple Heart to boot because he had not closed
the hatch and a white hot smoking fragment went into his left
cheekbone. Never uttered a squeak. Maybe he was nuts.

Tim Cullen made great use of the Browning in this fire
fight and damaged the barrel so badly that he needed to have
the weapon surveyed with Sgt. Masterson and drew a new
Browning when they were pulled off the line.

On August 10th, the 3rd Marines reached the northern shore
of Guam and the 4th Marines of the 1st Brigade made Ritidian
Point. General Bruce’s 77th (MARINE) Division had conquered
Mount Santa Rosa and Yiga in the northwest of the island and
organized Japanese Operations ceased.
General Roy Geiger declared Guam secured. That was
nice, true and all, but more than 10,000 armed Japanese needed
to be flushed from the jungles of America’s most important
forward Base of Operations in the Pacific. A Company of 1st
Battalion, 3rd Marines was relieved of duties and marched back
to Agana. Chorito Cliff had been worth the sacrifice and now
Tim Cullen could honor his debt. He needed to stay as public
as possible. Though he genuinely liked Pat Collins now, Tim
Cullen would use his nearness; not so much for companionship
but to have some witness to whatever Major Opley planned in
the way of getting the Chorito Hog Leg. Tim could not wait
to have Regiment clerks prepare shipping manifests and Col.
Stuart’s signature and get rid of this fucking Colt!

He marched south carrying the Browning now out of action and
LieutenantJohn A. Buck’s Colt Revolver buttoned up under his

The long line of the A Company men passed their two brother
Companies and the Headquarters Company of 1st Battalion and
Major Lucas Opley. The Major caught Pfc. Cullen’s stare and
returned it in kind and but snapped a twitch when the BAR
man patted the covered shoulder holster and Colt in an open
act of defiance. 1st Battalion had work to do in the north and
would be back in Agana and Third Division Camp in a day or
two. This contest was far from over. Guam was secured but
Lieutenant Buck’s Colt was still on Guam. Opley would have it.
Cullen would return it to Buck’s family. Guam was secured, but
10,000 Japanese disagreed and would until 1972. That is war.