Monday, March 30, 2015

Just in Time For Holy Week, Secularist Sanhedrin Schmich Sends People of Faith to Pilate

Only two weeks ago Chicago Tribune Pultizer Prize Winning Staff Member Mary Schmich penned a St. Paddy's Day Weekend Caveate that warned Chicago to beware of drunken Irish hooliganism. Nice.  The South Side Irish Parade was drunk and arrest free, not because of Mary Schmich's snarky nonsense, but because people of faith and family policed the event.

The same people who do not get their hackles up over the Indiana Religious Freedom legislation that protects a family-owned businesses, if that family is Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Cargo-Cult Polynesian, from being sued by anyone objecting to their right to refuse services due to religious conviction.

I lived in Indiana ( LaPorte/Griffith) from 1988-1998 and I loved every minute of it.  I met Quakers, Baptists, Assemblies of God folks, Amish, Menonites, Hussites and a pretty healthy population of Catholics.  The Lutherans didn't like me because they owned Prairie Tavern in Rolling Prarie, because I stuffed a hog with potatoes instead of sauerkraut.  They got over it. Gay or straight Hoosiers loved Harry and Karen's Bohemian potatoes with diced morrel mushrooms.  Does that embarass anyone?

The above mentioned Hoosiers are devout and voted in Mike Pence and the legislature enacted a bill that protects people from lawyers - that is all.

Let's say Bed and Breakfast owner refused to give a thirteen year old boy and a twelve year old girl Honeymoon Weekend package, even though both sets of Atheist parents had given written permission for the youngsters to experience the full glory of everything they watch on HBO.

The Indiana Bill saves the owners from a lawsuit - that is all.

However, screaming is all about gay activism and vice versa.  Schmich again locks step with the secularist Progressive talking points and paints Indiana people with her massive rainbow brush attached her very own idiot stick - to get at the tough to reach places, like North Judson, or Amish country.
'Religious freedom' law gives Hoosiers another reason to be embarrassed

Schmich turns to a number of gay Hoosiers and fellow Meme-readers in print journalism for support of her thesis.

Missing are the basic examples of Hoosier embarrassment implied in the headline.

What are the other embarrassments?

Schmich explains,
Embarrass. Verb. em•bar•rass \im-'ber-us, -'ba-rus\
To make (a person, group, government, etc.) look foolish in public.
A person may tell me that I am embarassing, or that behavior is embarassing and then give me examples -

Wearing only a jock-strap and snowshoes to a wedding
Scratching my rump before shaking hands with Mayor Emanuel
Peeing in the swimming pool . . .from the fourth floor of the Atrium to Emabassy Suits
Eatin' fois gras at Alderman Joe Moore's Peoples Picnic
Those are examples of my embarassing behavior

 Mary says this legislation protecting religious freedom is "another' example of something embarrasing in Indiana.

Okay, that's the table cloth, Mary. What is on the table?
 Being a Hoosier of any political stripe has long meant enduring the mockery that comes from living in one of the most conservative states in the United States.
"Mississippi of the Midwest." "Welcome to Indiana: Please Turn Your Clock Back 50 years." Bumpkins.

Those are hurt feelings, Mary. What are examples of the legislated sources of embarrassment?
Does the Borman Expressway embarrass Hoosiers?
Are Cover Bridges Embarrassing?
Hoagy Carmichael make one blush?
Ezra Pound give one the willies?
Mary Schmich is bigot.  Therefore, I need to Schmich-up
A bigot  is one given to bigotry:Definition of bigotry in English:
Intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself:
the difficulties of combating prejudice and bigotry Origen:Late 17th century: from bigot, reinforced by French bigoterie. from the Oxford English Dictionary

 Let's not fault Mary Scmich too much;after all she is only doing what was exactly acted out in Roman occupied Judea 2,000 years ago.  Caiaphas and the members of the Sanhedrin took care of someone who disagreed with the meme du jour and turned that person over to the secular authorities and him rendered up to Caesar. The secular cry was " Give Us Barabbas!" Barabbas was a community activist jailed for being a member of Occupy Jerusalem.

Traditional marriage is no longer acceptable as thought, or phrase, or matter of historical fact, because very wealthy gay activists have funded the term out of common conversation.

Mary is on the side of the secular angles and so was Pilate.

Come the Resurrection, maybe the bigots will have the scales drop.

Happy Holy Week, Mary, the People of Indiana, Gays, Breeders and Polynesian Cargo Cult Followers!


Sunday, March 29, 2015

Chicago Dunciad: The Sun Times Watchdogs? Hardly. Rahm's Purse Pups More Exactly

"While pensive Poets painful vigils keep,/ Sleepless themselves to give their readers sleep" I 91–92) The Dunciad by Alexander Pope.

I am his Highness' dog at Kew;
Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?
"On the Collar of a Dog".Alexander Pope

I am a devout Papist.  Catholic born-bred and believing, but I am a disciple if Alexander Pope, who was the John Kass of the 18th Century. Unlike, Chicago's John Kass, Alexander Pope had a very weak constitution: sickly and small;nevertheless, was fierce foe of frauds and fawning lick-spittles - especially those who lived by the pen and the pay of politicians.

Men of talent can be hacks.  Hell, if I had the opportunity I'd probably be one too.  As it is, I live in simple and fortunate honest poverty.

Today's Sun Times Watchdogs ( giving ones self a nickname always bothered me)  as two very talented investigative writers for the editorially compromised and daffy Sun Times, Tim Novak and Chris Fusco presented burnt offerings to the Rahm Emanuel election campaign.  The family of Jeremiah Joyce gets the treatment.

Nothing new, nothing ground-breaking, nothing here but clippings of old items meant to arouse the ire of dim-wits and partisans. This a solely punitive piece; meant to hurt people and not inform.

It is a pretty nasty piece of work performed for a particularly nasty person who is scared out of his wits by Chuy Garcia and anyone who stands with Rahm's foe.

I love the Joyce family, because they are honest, unpretentious people who help people who need help.  Mike 'Pickle' Joyce is not only the most great-hearted and fiercely loyal person I know, but also the smartest person I have had the pleasure to meet  with exception of the late Steve Allen.  Mike has coached the African American young men of Leo High School without pay and out of his own pocket for nearly two decades - because Mike loves them and the school.

I know, not intimately, all of the Joyces.  Each and every one of them is a fine person. Nevertheless, The Watchdogs trotted out old news spun as political gold.

Gold is a metaphor for crap in classical literature, by the way.

Tim Novak and Chris Fusco acted more like purse puppies than Watchdogs.  That is a sad waste of their time and their talents.

Fawning Bob, "I'm With Rahm" Fioretti!

“If there is a run off, I will support whoever the challenger is,” the alderman said then. “We need a change. Chicago is headed in the wrong direction under this mayor.” Fighting Bob Fioretti only last month.

Count on it!

7.4 out of 100 Chicagoans took Bob's word and cast their votes to the February 24th wind!

Well, like most simple, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, 'unsophisticated' Chicagoans, I pretty much ignored Bob Fioretti.

Rahm Emanuel did not and probably sent Fighting Bob a sophisticated Whitman Sampler chock full ganche covered alewives and smelt with nice note hand penned from Mayor 9.5's delicate fingers, "Dive In, Bob!"

Now, today we learn about Fawning Bob Fioretti,
 “We need a mayor that can dive in, rather than a mayor that wants to create a commission to look at the problem that his supporters say does not exist,” the Fioretti statement said. “The mayor and i disagree on many issues. . . . My endorsement is about which of these two candidates is ready and able to take on the tough financial challenges this city faces. For me, that candidate is Rahm.” (emphasis my own)

He belongs to the ages, now! He belongs to this - 

Video from Second City Cop

Friday, March 27, 2015

Time for Another "Rahm Can't Lose" Poll, After Garcia Pins the Dancer!

UpDate - March 30, 2015: Told You the Poll was Coming! And Easter is Sunday.

He might not be King of the City, but he is Rahm of the Urban Jungle, and last night he got thumped by Commissioner Garcia, while dancing through the weeds.

The clear-cut aggressor in their second debate, Garcia even flattened Emanuel when the mayor tried to claim credit — as he did in one of his earliest campaign commercials — for a landmark achievement in Garcia’s backyard.
“Let’s take the neighborhood of Little Village that Chuy’s represented for 30 years. Working with community leaders, I finally closed the coal plant that was there spewing pollution,” Emanuel said during the debate on Fox32 Chicago.
Garcia was so incensed by Emanuel’s attempt to claim credit, he literally laughed out loud.

As did we all . . .

Now, we can expect a poll conducted by the firm of Ogden and Nash, or whatever, showing Rahm with 99.5% advantage.
Image result for desiree rogers,andy shaw
A random selection of  three imaginary voters(Desiree Rogers, Andy Shaw and Gator Bradley)  were given the following questions

1: What is your political party?
2: Do You Like You Job?
3: Rahm, or Poke in the eye with a hot pierogi?
4: What are your thoughts on The Epic of Gilgamesh?
5: Does race effect your shopping choices?
6: Does religion matter to Pope Francis?
7: What about gender? What about ganders? What about garters?
8: Does sexuality effect your views on sleep?
9: Does a politicians fingers matter?
10: What about college drinking?
11: Do you have anything to say about this quiz? Please say something. I'm lonely.  I'm a pollster.

Results:not for the squeamish
 1. All Identified as Democrats 2. All liked their jobs;especially, Urban TranslatorGator Bradley 3. Two of three voters ( Desiree Rogers, Andy Shaw and Gator Bradley) prefered Rahm to a poke in the lamps with steamiung pierogi, but Desiree Rogers hesitated asked for more time and finally asked for both. 4. No opinions - even Andy Shaw 5. All three race to shop 6. I guess . . . 7. Gender, ganders and garters matter - don not ask and certainly do not tell, but Gator loves garters! 8. Yes, especially when a new job at the Lotto, Peoples Gas, Obama White House and The Illinois BGA 9. Only to the candidate, when visiting  The Husky Hog BBQ at 335 W 31st St, Chicago, IL 60616 The Huslky Hog is crazy good!10. Weed.11. Not about nor to the pollster so much as a kind word.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Chicago Snow Man - March 2015

The Side of House Hickey, only two days ago - March 2015
Chicagoans, you've earned this!  America's greatest poet was a shy business guy.  He knew.  So, do we all.

 The Snow Man
by Wallace Stevens
One must have a mind of winter
To regard the frost and the boughs
Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;
And have been cold a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with ice,
The spruces rough in the distant glitter
Of the January sun; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,
Which is the sound of the land
Full of the same wind
That is blowing in the same bare place
For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.

Come to America and Live the Dream 1912

Rahm 'N Noodles

"A little learning is a dang'rous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again. Alexander Pope for Chuy!

Guess who is all about sophistcated fiscal love saving Chicago from Detroitis, a simile for detritis. .


Guess who says so.


Noodles take sips of the heady stuff brewed by disciples of Dave Axelrod - the Godfather of the Narrative Meme and distilled bull-jive.  Noodles get hammered on a sip if Sneed, a snifter of Zorn, au bon pere of Old Trib and Early & OftenTimes and  go from pleasant, witty and charming  to bullet proof in every political exchange quicker than REM cycles.

Noodles thank their lucky stars, charms, strikes and lottos that Rahm Emanuel has guided the small city wagon train with sure and steady tough-minded fiscal sophistication and love these last four years. Ever mindful that Rahm can be a prickly little prique, Noodles know that unless Commissioner Jesus"Chuy" Garcia lays out ever measure he plans to take over next four years Chicago will surely become a ghost town on a lake like Detroit.

Detroit is the magic charm elixor for the sippers of heady brew.  My Alderman, Matt O'Shea, as fine and hardworking a young chap as one could find pours Detroit for Noodles in my Ward in mailer I got yesterday.  Matt O'Shea is loyal to Rahm and still respects his constituents who will put Chuy Garcia over Rahm come April 7th.

Noodles will weave and argue the tight and conversation ending meme that only Rahm can save Chicago from going the way that Rahm drove this hick burg on wheels. And that settles it!~

Monday, March 23, 2015

Another Rahm Poll to Keep Aunt Gert's Vote

Rahm is polling up a storm!  The only way he can remain in office and not join Pat Quinn in the unemployement line is to convince Aunt Gert that that "other guy" will have Mariachi bands outside of her nail salon 24/7.

Aunt Gert takes an Uber to Orland Park from Chicago Lawn ( 63rd & Kostner) because her nail-girls on Pulaski closed 'when the Mexicans moved in.' Aunt Gert is German-Irish and couldn't stand Polacks and Lugans either and don't get her started on 'the coloreds.'  Aunt Gert is with Rahm.

Dog Whistle meme - Chuy is a nice indígena mezclada con blanca from cowboy-happy Durango ( foreign born like Mayor Pushcart Tony Cermak -doncha know) who has absolutely no fiscal sophistication: Chuy has never sold off City assets, nor booted a car in Brainerd.

You see, Rahm climbed up on Richie Daley's knee one fine April day and said that he wanted to be Mayor ever so much. I am sure that Mayor Richie understood that the earnest little guy would call off any and all dogs yapping at his heels from Justice and the Chicago Media. Rahm is Mayor and has millions of dollars to prove it.

That is fiscal sophistication.

Chicago is Detroit with a Continental Finance MasterCard.  Sophisticated.

Here is the latest poll thick with John Dewey-esque outcomes pre-established and numbers to impress Aunt Gert, " Numbers don't lie, Dumbass!"

Aunt Gert is sophisticated,

Friday, March 20, 2015

Sticky! It's Time for Another National Conversation About Race!

Sticky Johnson is doing time.  He was a neighbor of Leo High School, who always had smile that could light up a room!  "Hey, Coach! Hey, Leo Man! Big Win! Go Lions!. . . .got any change? I'm $.30 away from my 40!"  Sticky was known to the kids, the coaches and the leadership of our school. Seemed to be a harmless bust-out on threshhold of turning his life around. Sticky could not catch a break.  Sticky is doing hard time.

Sticky should not be left out of our latest national conversation about Race. Conversations about Race always seem to occur whenever President Obama has an especially bad week - like Bibi Netanyahu's Likud victory over the Obama K-Street Commandos ( Jerry Bird's One Voice) sent to Israel to gum up the elections. Enter Starbucks and Mrs. Star Wars!

Here's the Internal Memo from Starbucks' Disastrous Race-Relations Push

Should have sent Sticky Johnson!  In this latest wake of Israeli obstreperousness, the Starbucks CEO laid out Race Together . . .kind of like One Voice, except racing and not voicing.  This gave Chicago's doyen of drivel, Michael Sneed, a great opportunity to pucker up for local monied-powerhouse's keister - Mellody Hobson - Mrs. Star Wars Lucas Museum and Landfill. Mellody Hobson?  Is her given name pronouned in the Iberian fashion?  MAYOD?  Probably not.

Hey, Kids!  TRY and find a Starbucks in an impoverished black neighborhood! T'aint any! A Starbucks is Chatham Heights home to septuagenarian Civil Rights activists, retire CPD Commanders and Bankers B Starbucks Hyde Park Lite just east of Clarence Darrow's ashes and C BUCKS in tony Hyde Park Peoples Republic of Obama

Starbucks, Mellody Hobson, David Axelrodian Grassroots and a Likud Victory in Israel can mean only one thing - It's Time for another National Conversation About Race.

As the Director of Development for an overwhelmingly African American place of learning, I take a back seat to no one when it comes to smooching the rumps of already generous folks - most of them are old white guys.

However, I have not been able to guilt people who came by their riches through political pay-to-play and strategic investment of capital in former slum property to send as much as a nickel over to the school on Sangamon.  Much shame to me.  Most of my failure is rooted in an inability to match flim-flam with faith and guff with gelt.
Image result for mellody hobson with street person
You see I am no Desiree Rogers, Mellody Honson. Elzie Higgenbottom, much less Robert Redford, a Michael Moore, or a Cullen Davis. White, or Black, my soul recoils from a huge of pile of . . .bunkum.Not so the media, especially butt-munchers like Chicago Sun Times gossip maven Michael Sneed

The talk of the Twitterverse Wednesday began with a cup of Starbucks that brewed up a storm on social media.
And it was Chicago’s own Mellody Hobson — a financial whiz who is president of Ariel Investments and an African-American member of the Starbucks board of directors — who may have started the coffee brewing.
Well, ShhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeIIIIDDDDDDDDD, Sneed, It might have been Me!  I could have been Eddie Carroll of Carroll Roofing!  You know people say that Eddie came up with the idea of the spitlless harmonica.  The Harmonica Lewinsky! Really. Honor bright.

Race together?

Why, it just might have been Sticky Johnson, who is doing time for breaking into Leo's buses for the catalytic converters and pistol-whipped Mr. Haywood, our mechanic, when he came out and caught Sticky, a Section a Housing Alumnus  who was staying with friends in an apartment on Sangamon.  It just may have been Sticky who may have started the coffee brewing.

Sticky!  Speak on it,  Son!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

I Get Schooled: "Only Sophisticated Fiscal Fellows Follow Rahm"


Cultivated and percipient 19th Ward voter Chapin " The Lute" Craven* took especial umbrage when I offered my choice for Mayor - Jesus Chuy Gracia.

This, in sum, to the very best of my memory, were The Lute's views on my vote.

" You must be @#$%ing stupid, or some kind Tea Party thug. How can you call yourself a Democrat. You're full of $hit. I read you stupid crap about how you love Sarah Palin and hate Obama, because he happens to be a black man and you can not stand the simple truth that he won and he is in the White House to stay.

Rahm is the only choice we have and you hate Rahm because he is 'this' close to President Obama. You want Illinois to be like Detroit, Wisconsin with Scott Walker. How you like Rauner? Yeah. Idiots like you put him there. You want Chuy because you think he will destroy unions.

Rahm loves unions. Rahm hates the Tea Party and that is why he is taking money awy from Tea Party creeps like you and putting it into his own Campaign - redistribution of wealth, baby.  It's here and you can't handle it!

Chuy's nuts! He's not sophisticated, A$$hole; do you grasp that? Fiscal sophistication -understand?

All you know is hate. Hate for Obama! Hate for Col. er . . .African Americans!  Hate for Q . . .Marriage Equality! Haters gonna hate. You hate Rahm. Why? Jew? You and your hero Bibi - haters.

Chuy is going to turn Illinois into a border town, @#$er! That's right!  The Latino vote that is not mobbed up will vote for Rahm Emanuel.  You and Tea Party Chuy want a low turnout again.   @#$% You! That's right @#$% You! . . . Hey, can hold a couple of dollars, until I get my disability check."

Can't argue with that. Lute.
*Chapin " The Lute" Craven, 58, of Beverly  was a middle school science teacher in Glenwood, IL, and  applied for disability in 2003 due to "prolonged stress and chronic back pain," Illinois Attorney Genera Lisa Madiganl's Office has taken a special interest in Mr. Craven and recently said, "Mr. Craven  might be in violation of Illinois laws and statutes concerning vocational disability.  :Lute's disability  application was approved in 2004.
Since that time, he has received $245,130 in monthly disability payments, even though he was allegedly working as a full-time teacher in Beecher, IL began working as a substitute in Whiting, IN before filing his disability application, authorities said, and continued until 2010, when he accepted the full-time job, which he continues to hold.
Lute is active in Medieval String Club of Beverly Unitarian Church and featured artist on the sidewalk between Claremont and Western Avenue at 110th Street most Saturdays and Sundays. A vegetarian and activist Lute reads the New York Times, watches only Public Television and likes Carol Marin but would never think of dating her.
Mr. Craven is a confirmed bachleor and resides near the Metra .

Leo Alumni Meeting at Father Perez Knights of Columbus Hall in Mount Greenood

Every third Wednesday of the month, the Old Lions roar, buck up for a kid in need, chart new speedlanes to help the school that had a hand in helping their parents form their lives and plan the annual banquet, decal drive and the golf outing.

These meetings tale place at the venerable Father Perez Knights of Columbus Hall. Father Perez is located at 422 W 111th St, Chicago, IL . In my youth the Knights met at a hall at 84th & Ashland and that was the site where young guys joined 16" softball teams, bowling leagues and waited to come of age Catholic gentlemen.The value imparted in home, reinforced in the parishes and the high schools of the south side were honed like a great set of Swiss knives.  The KCs actively sought out the means and manpower to protect the unborn, help struggling families through acts of charity and encourage Catholic worship - 'Hey, spend more time with you wife an kids, a little less at the Sea Breeze lounge and here and get to Mass, Hickey, you're a mess.'

Our Church was the stronger because of the Knights, in my opinion. Today, fewer young people get active and that is a shame.

The Father Perez Council seems to be more vital than many other benevolent associations, including other KC Councils. The Knights at Perez have long made their facility open to the Leo Alumni Association.

The meetings of the Alumni Association always begin with the sad litany of recently departed Leo Men, followed by prayers.  President Larry Lynch took over duties from Dan Stecich in February and the transition is smoother than an Ed Joyce '70 pick up line at Leo Dance in the Sixties.  Ed was slicker than snot on a doorknob - still is.

The Minuets of the previous meeting is called for a vote and after the more veteran Alums like President Emeritus Rich Furlong, Don Hogan, or Bob Sigel ask for clarity on a statement or typo.  The minuets are approved and seconded - always by Jack Benedek '67.

Leo High School, represented by President McGrath, VP Mike Holmes, or yours truly, reports on the activities at the school. Last night, I requested some immediate help for a Leo senior whose mother had just been laid off, passed my Irish Shandon cap, which was much too shallow, transfered the cash to a larger vessel and counted several hundred dollars, which President will give to the boy's mother today.

My report included

  • Senior college acceptances - every graduating senior has been accepted to solid colleges including teh United States Coast Guard Academy, Loyola, St. Joe's in  Rensselaer, Northern Illinois, University of Illinois & etc.
  • Leo chess team captain and Catholic League Champion Dexter Dale honored at City Hall
  • Big Shoulders Fund lend a shoulder day with 80 Price Waterhouse interns
  • Loyola University Aruppe College two year program
  • St. Patricks Day March
  • Chicago Blackhawks visit to Leo
  • Q & A on plans for the future

The questions are always of the  " How can we help?" variety.

President Larry Lynch calls for a report from the various commitees taskled with selling tables or tickets for events.  Then we close with a prayer and "The Bar is Open!"

The Alumni always have hot trays loaded with good eatin' treats - last night was Italian Beef and St. Joseph sweets table.

God Bless all Knights and every Leo Man!

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Chicago Police My Favorite Variety of Human Beings

This past Sunday was  the South Side Irish Parade.  I attend Mass at a cousin's house in Beverly before the step-off as has been the Hickey Family custom from earliest days of parade's history. Mass is always followed by a magnificent Irish Breakfast and a tribal jaw-fest.  This year I had an appointment in suburban Oak Park and pulled " a Murphy" at Communion.   I had parked my car strategically at 99th & Oakley for an easy egress to the Dan Ryan.  As is my custom, I gabbed with the people working to make the parade a success.  I met two young CPD Heroes on east side of Western Avenue. They said it was their first South Side Irish detail and wanted to know a good place to eat. I ponted out Fox's Beverly Pub and assured them of a fine feed and a most attentive staff of Friends of The Blue.
Down the street across from Tom Gibbons' Town Liquors. I had the pleasure of these three sons of Chicago's Northside One a Luther North Alum, another a St. Pat's graduate and third young guy the tallest of the three a CPS scion of Sullivan High School.  I toldthis trio of heroes that I get a store of great yarns and jokes from the Homicide Detectives who live near me and wanted to return the favor. 

Mike Houlihan, a guy named Brian and Pulitzer Prize winning Chicago Tribune writer Bill Crawford

I told them a yarn picked up from Chicago's Rennaissance Man - Film Maker, radio host, author and with Michael Houlihan

" A very troubled man went to his doctor and told him ' Doc, I think I am losing my mind.  My boss told me to get help.

The man with the caduceus gave him a look of genuine concern and asked, 'What's the problem, Sport?'

' Doc, for no good reason I blurt out WHAT"S NEW PUSSYCAT?'  I was in a meeting of mortgage brokers last week and while I reported on quartley home sales in Indiana . . .I  bluted out again WHAT"S NEW PUSSYCAT? My boss said I'm Losing my mind. Tell me, Doc, what is going on with me.'

The Son of Hermes, Mr. MD, smilked knowingly and replied 'You have what we in the medical profession call Tom Jones Syndrome.'

The worried man seemed assured somehow, ' Is that pretty common.'

The doctor shouted ' IT"S NOT UNUSUAL!'

The cops loved it.  I love cops.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Rahm's Fiscal Plan? No There There - except sell-offs, sell-outs and Career Grifter Cellulite

The Rahm Campaign demands, demands I tell you, that Commissioner Jesus "Chuy" Garcia explain why he has yet to deliver an Iron-Clad Fiscal Plan to dig Chicago out of mess created by decades of Daley and only four years of Rahm Emanuel free-booting.

The only plan Rahm Emanuel has is to sell off any asset, unlooted by Daley like the public lands owned by the Chicago Parks District for President Bro-hugs and the midget who made Star Wars.  Add that huge property tax increases, more Red Light Cameras, highter water rates and the systematic privatization of City Departments - out sourcing and smart sizing.

Rahm is a tough guy who makes the tough choices. Okay.

Rahm is also a misanthropic dismissive little prique.

I have met the man and like the President he once served, I am thoroughly repulsed by him, but never disappointed.

Here is Rahm's Fiscal Finesse Writ Public.

  • Find better ways of providing government services. We will continue to ask a fundamental question about every service we provide: are we providing it for the most competitive cost, or can we improve the way we deliver it? We used this approach to cut the City’s structural deficit in half since 2011. We took the politics out of garbage pick up, saving $17 million a year, and saved more than $75 million by reducing senior management positions, merging city departments, canceling unnecessary leases, and improving coordination between our infrastructure departments. Rahm will seek additional savings through consolidating services like information technology, procurement, and facilities management in one place, eliminating the need for those services to exist at sister agencies. This reform alone could save at least $20 million for the city and sister agencies. ( Streets and Sanitation is toast!  Rahm will privatize the police and fire departments as well) 

  • Control the cost of health care. Another example of Rahm’s collaboration with labor has been in his efforts to reduce the cost of healthcare. The reforms we have made to our health care for workers has improved health outcomes and saved taxpayers millions of dollars. Our wellness program focused on preventative screening and healthy lifestyle choices, and has enrolled more than 40,000 city workers. Our reforms to the retiree health system protects the most vulnerable, moves retirees to the health care exchanges with a variety of benefit structures, while producing a total of $100 million in annual savings – including an additional $25 million next year alone.
  • End the inequitable teacher pension funding formula. The current reform structure passed for downstate and suburban teachers will save the City of Chicago hundreds of millions each year if applied to our funds. But that will only get us part of the way there. Rahm will also fight to end an unfair system that forces Chicago taxpayers to pay twice for teacher pensions – once for Chicago educators and a second time for suburban and downstate teachers. Local taxpayers should not be subsidizing pensions for teachers in Naperville, Winnetka, Peoria and Decatur. Fixing this inequitable mandate would further reduce our obligations to our teachers’ pension fund by $500 million ( More Charters, No Catholic Schools and Teachers Get What They Can!)

  • Ensure Chicago gets its fair share from closing of State tax loopholes. We will work with our partners in Springfield to close loopholes and dedicate a significant portion of the additional hundreds of millions in revenue to shore up pensions. For example, dozens of professional services are exempt from the sales tax, meaning working families pay a tax of nearly 10% on food, clothes, and other basics while those who hire attorneys, accountants, and advertising consultants pay none. Similarly, satellite broadcasters and internet retailers have a competitive advantage compared to cable companies and brick and mortar retailers because they pay less in taxes. As the state closes these loopholes, we will ensure Chicago gets its fair share.(Bruce Will Be Loose, If Rahm Wahns Some Gelt!)

  • Continue active surplus strategy of Tax Increment Finance (TIF) funds. Early in the first term, Rahm established the city’s first-ever TIF surplus policy through Executive Order to formalize and expand the practice of declaring a TIF surplus. The policy requires the declaration of a surplus in TIF districts that are older than three years, were not created for single redevelopment projects, are not transferring funds to other TIF districts to pay legacy school debt service costs, and have a balance of at least $1 million. The amount of the surplus is at least 25 percent of the available cash balance in the TIF. As part of a reform agreement, half of that surplus could be dedicated to pension funding. ( Ask Mike Quigley for Entree!  He Hates TIFs only when talking to Mark Brown

  • Explore non-tax revenue options. We will continue to fight for an increased share of Local Government Distributive Share funding, with any additional revenue dedicated to paying down debt, pension obligations and other long-term liabilities. A gaming proposal, similar to the one Rahm passed in 2013, would attract revenue that currently goes to northwest Indiana by creating a publicly-owned casino in Chicago ( Red Light District Coming Back to the Levee!)

  • We would also work to continue reforming the worker compensation system to save taxpayer dollars that can be dedicated to pension obligations. (How's that for Passive Agresive Voice?)

  • Ensure property taxes are a last resort, and protect those struggling to make ends meet.Stabilizing our finances and securing the retirement security of our workers will require us to look to a broad mix of potential revenue sources, but a property tax increase is the very last place Rahm will look to help right the city’s financial ship. The fact is, without any real reforms, relying on taxpayers to foot the entire bill for pensions only makes a property tax increase more likely. And as it stands, without reform a property tax increase will be required in order to make the state-mandated payments Rahm’s administration inherited unless the law is reformed. If a property tax is ultimately necessary in order to save our pension funds even after implementing the reform and revenue framework outlined above, then Rahm ensure that working and low- and middle-income families do not bear the brunt of an increase. There are a number of ways to achieve this, like increasing the homeowner exemption, which hasn’t increased since 2003, and the preservation of the senior freeze.( Tough Talk from a Tough Guy!  You Want Water or Cholera ? Take Your Choice.)
. . . " then Rahm ensure that working and low- and middle-income families do not bear the brunt of an increase.  Now, I make typos, all the time, but do so at no cost to you and especially no cost to John Q. Public.  This is an exact past-up of Rahm Campaign brag points. Then Rahm Ensure, Then Rahm Ensure . . .no big deal, as they say.  

BOLD PARENTHETICALS MY OWN,BOLD OUT OF THE PARENTHESIS ARE RAHM's,  because Rahm is trying to bully voters and convice people that he is the only Choice.  I am underwhelmed, Sneedless to say.

Choose Chuy. He is no bully. 

Just a Note to Mary Schmich - No Arrrests At the South Side Irish Parade

Leo Man marches with Big Shoulders Fund at the downtown St. Patrick's Parade.

Mary Schmich wrote a snotty and unnecessary column about St. Patrick's Day celebrations.

The Irish and Catholics in general are last ethnic joke-stereotypes available to faux wits in the media.

I penned a snotty, but most essential blog post in the response to a media person who gets a universal free pass on such nonsense as her column, because of her Progressive pedigree.

By way of courtesy, I offer this report that the south side Irish Parade was arrest free, even though it was very political: Rauner was heckled, Rahm was hectored and Chuy was  cheered.

 The South Side Irish Parade continued the St. Patrick's Day weekend celebrations Sunday by adding a third year to its zero-arrests record.
The annual event, which takes place in the Beverly neighborhood on the Far South Side, used to be known for its rowdiness, public drunkenness and high number of arrests. Parade organizers and Chicago Police cracked down on the mayhem in 2012 with a "zero tolerance" policy on alcohol, and the event has enjoyed zero arrests ever since.(emphsis my own)

No arrests.  At the downtown parade, I saw no bad behavior and the parade route was booze free. I saw drinking on the side streets, but no bacchanal. 

The Chicago " Dewey Wins" Tribune Pulls the Trigger without Loading It's Rahm 9mm

You can't beat The Chicago Tribune - it would be a hate crime, like beating on a slow witted six-year old who just does not like À la Recherche du temps Perdu.  What?  Who doesn't prefer Proust to a bigg-ass wad of cotton candy? Not Bruce Dold.

You ( Mr. & Mrs. Chicago)  knew it would come, everybody knew it would come: How can City Hall make a mandatory $550 million payment to police and fire pension funds? Sure enough, kaboom, first question. What followed was Monday evening's mayoral debate, reduced to its essence:
Mayor Rahm Emanuel's staccato recipe for fixing City Hall's pension crisis leapt from higher employee contributions to a broader-based sales tax, to a city-run casino, to TIF surpluses. He concluded with an overarching rationale: Financial stability will give people "the confidence to bring jobs and people back to Chicago." Not every Chicagoan is jake with all that, but it's a responsible answer that gores several sacred oxen.
And Cook County Commissioner Jesus "Chuy" Garcia? The first words from his mouth: "It depends." Because his team has to "open up the books to understand what the real finances of the city are." Garcia didn't answer the question but did get in an off-topic jab about Emanuel subsidizing rich people.
OK, we thought, he'll find his footing. Soon came a question many Chicagoans ask: Property tax increase. Discuss.( parnthetical my own) 
Whar's to discus?  If wanted to be told what to think, I'd ask people with Rahm lawnsigns.  I was talked to to on parade day and told that Chuy Garcia has no fiscal finesse.

Rahm has fiscal finesse?

" Oh, @#$% you, Hickey.  You voted for McCain and Pailin."

Can't argue that.

I never tell anyone whom to vote for, when asked I'll say, " I like Sarah Palin."

"How can you she's and idiot. Didn't you see Game Changer on HBO?"

Matter of fact I did and I also caught the 1940 masterpiece Der ewige Jude at an art house revival.  Matter of fact, I saw the Chicagoland series on CNN and found it comparable to the 1935 epic Triumph des Willens.  We need a strong man.

So, Chuy lost the debate that I watched last night.

The Chicago Tribune editorial again tells Chicagoans what they want and they obviously want a 9.5 fingered misanthropic sububarnite to make hard the choices, like making kindergarten kids endure longer hours of training necessary to become John Dewey robots by third grade.

Chicagoans lust for the strong personality needed to amass millions of Hollywood and Wall Street dollars necessary to make helot's water bill jump in cost by 86%.

Financial stability means taking public lands from the parks and giving them to a bunch of Hyde Park grifters so that Barack Obama Presidential Library will not require that Barack and Michele Obama crack their wallets to finance it, like Mrs. Reagan and Mrs. Ford.

Bruce Dold mocks Chuy's response to the little strongman's fiscal platitudes.  Chuy replied, "You cannot move forward until you show the taxpayers of Chicago where the money is going."

Ouch. A second admission from Garcia that, nearly five months into his campaign for mayor, he doesn't talk even to the nearest billion about City Hall finances. The closest he got was a shot at Emanuel for failing to get Chicago's house in order, and "now talking in a sophisticated way about how he's going to do it." The obligatory next line — Here's how I'm going to do it — never arrived.
Bill Murray-style book editorial scribbling aside, this Well-Poisoning 101, which is an Honors Course at the Dave Axelrod Harris School of Political Bludgeoning.  Bruce Dold must be auditing that class.

Rahm was not told any of us 'How he plans to save us.'   Rahm will loot whatever city assest remain, ala Richie Daley. He will balloon any and all city taxes.  He will strip essential 1st Responder services to the bone.  He will out source the Department of Streets and Sanitation ( my prediction 2016) and work on doing the same to the cops and fireman. He will pander and propagandize through the Chicago Media.

Voters know that.  Some voters are for Rahm, fiercely for Rahm, loudly for Rahm, powerfully for Rahm. That's fine, for them. I appreciate their candor and devotion.  Rahm voters are fine with the way things are and hope to do even better for themselves if Chuy loses on April 7th.  They are good people and they tell you loudly and with pride " I'm with Rahm!"

I am not.  I had anough of Rahm Emanuel, when he was glued to Richie Daley by the Stepan Family in the 1980's when Richie ran for States Attorney.  I've had enough and I am even siding with SEIU, Jesse Sharkey of CTU and Ricardo Munoz for Chrissakes.  Mike Klonsky is a Chuyista and so am I.

I had enough.  I am voting for Chuy Garcia for Mayor of Chicago.

St. Patrick, Shield Me " Against the Heart's Idolatry"

St. Patrick's Breastplate is the name given to a litany composed by the saint. The significant human verses beg Christ to shield us.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.
Against all Satan's spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart's idolatry,
Against the wizard's evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.
Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

If you lack demons, well you just aren't Irish.  You just aren't a flawed, or, like me, deeply flawed human being.

My favorite verse begs protection against " the heart's idolatry."

That is a good one.  The heart can be a human warehouse of flaws, as well as the store of best in men and women -compassion, loyalty, honor, piety, dignity and courage.  The heart can also be an emporium of regret, pride, anger, lust and gluttony.  The self-medication first aid kits we turn to in times of doubt.

Idolatry comes in many forms - self-worship, mistaking good for gold, pleasure as liturgy.

St. Patrick was a guy who woke up to himself after decades of sin and it took boatloads of Scotii ( Irish sea-pirates) who snatched him from a life of comfort and dragged him into slavery.

I am still an idolator and want to quit the club.

St. Patrick shield me the idolatries in my heart.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

I Believe in Neighborhood People and Not Polls Conducted By and For Pols Who Don't Care About People

Polls are conducted by 'scientists' - rather number crunching hired guns.

The Chicago Tribune conducted a poll that give Rahm Emanuel a 12 point lead over the winner of the April 7th 2015 Mayoral Election, Jesus "Chuy" Garcia.

Polls, are said to be random samplings taken from snatches of would be voters.


If I conducted a random sampling of people with whom I come in contact with everyday, you see a diverse cross-section of Chicago demographics.

I start my day at Dunkin Donuts located near my house and operated by a gentleman from Morocco and staffed by a lovely couple from Bangladesh and a gorgeous graduate student from India. The manager lives on 103rd just west of Western Avenue in what most people call St. John Fisher parish.  The manager is Muslim. He is voting for Chuy.

The couple who work with Kareem live in Homer Glen and can not vote in the City election - they are Hindi

The young graduate student lives on Walden Drive in Beverly and is Muslim as well. She has not registered to vote.

Of the this random sampling of persons - Chuy Garcia has 100% of the vote.


Now, let's talk people.  I work in Auburn Gresham at 79th & Sangamon in Chicago's 17th Ward.  Guess what?  Rahm's and Father Pfleger's hand-picked candidate of Alderman was beaten by David Moore.

David Moore was told to back Rahm, or else.  David Moore told the messengers to go pound sand, some other similar message. Looks like Alderman David Moore is an independent voice.  An African American Alderman in Ward 17 goes off the Pfleger P . . .Reservation.  Chuy?  I'd say so, but that is not very scientific.  I know the man who helped David Moore win the aldermanic and he is also instrumental in helping Chuy Garcia take the 5th Floor.

I live south of 103rd Street and west of Western Ave. and our homes are somewhat modest and match our incomes ( usually two incomes as Mom and Dad both work).  East of Western around 103rd Street sit pricier big bunglow's for families earning bigger incomes.

Of my neighbors, thick with public pensions and long association with the Chicago, Cook County and State Democratic Organizations there is great distrust of Rahm Emanuel and Governor Rauner.  Tough times and a tougher vote.  From chats with my 19th Ward neighbors ( firemen, cops, CPS teachers, skilled tradesmen, City, County and State office workers), we won't see a sea of red, white and blue Chuy signs on lawns, but we should see my precinct (23rd, 19th Ward) go for Chuy.  Raised ranch and Georgian dwellers, as well as modest apartment dwellers all.

West of the cemetaries sits Mount Greenwood and that will go overwhelmingly for Chuy.

The precinct immediately to the east of Western Avernue and hugging 103rd Street will go again for Rahm.

There are many families in that precinct with 'this close' ties to City, County and State Demographic power-that-be as well as some heavier than whale poop lobbyists living in the bungalows - like Rahm, or not, they will go with the current flow.

Like my Dunkin Donuts poll, very unscientific and all too human.  I see the 19th Ward, like the 17th Ward shifting away from Rahm.

In the end, Chuy will beat Rahm by a whisker, but whisker is all it takes, Rahm will need to do a Deb Mell to win.  That might fly in the 39th Ward of Blagostahn, but no way city wide.

The Tribune, the Big Cat money bags, the Progressives and the academics want Rahm on Five, they need Rahm on Five.  They can't handle the truth.

The truth is that Chicago is about to redeem itself from decades laissez fair civics and lazy-ass voting.

Basta Rahm!  Enough Rahm, Daley, Durbin, Mell, Quinn, Rauner, Marque Kirque Chicago!

Viva Chuy and Chicago might live again.

Friday, March 13, 2015

On PBS -Reading is Fun With Errol Flynn -'Well, Sport, Here is One About Hillary Clinton and a Duck!'

Hello, Little Sports!  I'm your Old Uncle Errol here to bring to life words and punctuation to delight even the grumpiest little truant among you to love the written word.

As I told Big Boy Guinn and Alan Hale in every Warner Brothers Adventure - 'Boys, words matter . . .sure the get-ups are nice and Olivia was never lovelier, but it is the words that make the story.

Now, gather round my Elfin Chums . . .and try not to eat those, Young Michael Houlihan! . . .no, they're not real fruit . . .we call them props, here, around the lot . . .get comfortable Ladies and Squires . . .that's it!

Now, here is a story about young lad in Tasmania. That's an island south of the OZ the land down under the Southern Cross . . .Australia Mates!  This lad was asked to do chores . . .even if the chores are just a might too . . . well, give a listen!

“All I had to do was stick my face into this gruesome mess and bite off the young sheep's testicles. Dag a hogget. I had good teeth. I put my nose into this awful-smelling mess, my teeth solidly around the balls of the six-month-old sheep, and took a bite while I held him upside down. My nose was in fur and ordure. I bit and spat out the product into a pile of what they called prairie oysters. We have them in America too: delicious to eat, but not delicious to remove. They said this was the most sanitary way to de-ball a sheep. After I was done, I passed the sheep onto the next man, who put a little coal tar on the same spot for purposes of cleansing and closing up the wound.  The sheep never let out a bleat.. . .”  

Where has the time gone? You see, Young Michael?  It's wax fruit . . .now, try and learn from that unpleasantness, Old Sport.

That's about all for today, My Hearties!  Next time Uncle Errol will tell you about the time he met this beautiful young girl . . .she looked all of twenty . . . well, Until that Time, People of Sherwood!

Reading is Fun with Errol Flynn was presented on PBS in part with grant from Planned Parenthood and the Council of Questionable Living