Monday, April 12, 2010

Maureen Dowd - Feminist Nun With No Where to Go

Maureen Dowd- A Modernist-Feminist Nun With No Where to Go.

Before and after, 8:30 Mass on Feast of Divine Mercy, me the gents lined up with the traditional bound rods, (facere in Latin mean to do, or to make ) and took a few whacks at the women - octogenarians to toddlers. "Quit your squawking, or I'll give something to cry about! Hey, you Old Bat, this bumps for you!"

You see, Catholicism in the hands of our martini marinaded maid of Progressive America is an animist tribe of phalli-equipped Patriarchs. What's a couple of cuts with some supple wood I ask you? It ain't childbirth, for Crissakes! Did them no end of good too, I might add.

"Mrs. Mungoven slide out of them comfy kneelers and hit the hard wood floors, sister. Them pews is for us Manimals!"

Maureen Dowd really needs a date. Not gonna happen it seems. To paraphrase, Henry II to his sweating Dukes - "Will no one take this troublesome Twist out for a date and shut her up, for Crissakes?"

I picked up on Maureen Dowd's latest nuanced squeal against the Catholic Church via the Religion of Peace.

When I was in Saudi Arabia, I had tea and sweets with a group of educated and sophisticated young professional women.

I asked why they were not more upset about living in a country where women’s rights were strangled, an inbred and autocratic state more like an archaic men’s club than a modern nation. They told me, somewhat defensively, that the kingdom was moving at its own pace, glacial as that seemed to outsiders.

How could such spirited women, smart and successful on every other level, acquiesce in their own subordination? I was puzzling over that one when it hit me: As a Catholic woman, I was doing the same thing.

I, too, belonged to an inbred and wealthy men’s club cloistered behind walls and disdaining modernity.

I, too, remained part of an autocratic society that repressed women and ignored their progress in the secular world.

I, too, rationalized as men in dresses allowed our religious kingdom to decay and to cling to outdated misogynistic rituals, blind to the benefits of welcoming women’s brains, talents and hearts into their ancient fraternity.

Oh, heck no! Let's see now:

1. Stoning women went out before the 1st Pope

2. Female castration? Nope.

3. Mandatory garb for the womens? Not since Monsignor McMahon ( circa 1965)

4. Silence for women? As if.

5. "Women's brains, talents and hearts into their ancient fraternity?" Mo have another Cozmo! Sheesh, girls have sororities! Brains.

I wish a real genteel hunkish Man Candy serial dater would step up and treat Maureen Dowd to a night on the town - sappy Jennifer Aniston movie, late supper of cold quail's eggs, caviar and tiny toast points and gallons of French bubbly, carriage ride, walk in the soft rain followed by a cab ride through an urban landscape and faux forest, slowing down to an Oh,so gentle glide and depositing Ms. Dowd in front of a Knights of Columbus Hall where she could have more than a few solitary nightcaps and shrewishly demand the Grand Knight for a ride home. ' You doan Know ME! You men! Les Havanover,Kay?'

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