Thursday, October 18, 2007

Toni Preckwinkle - No Bell -oh Prize - Progressive Dim-Bulb Champions the Morons!

In a tribute to her admirers and constituents, Alderman Toni Preckwinckle wears two different shoes to a ceremony marking her as Progressive Hall of Fame Lock. You are a Prize Toni! A Prize Moron!

We can not catch a breath! We are forced to keep the laughing going in this Burg. Chicagoans have Joe " Winthrop " Moore piously intoning against goose guts - making Chicago a national butt steak of ridicule. Salem on the Lake ! Hey, if We can't laugh at ourselves . . .

Then Chicagoans get the second hand smoke mopes banning cigarettes everywhere, while – in the same breath - bringing the Hounds in to dine on your toes while noshing Al Fresco in the more Banana Republic Hip neighborhoods. Laugh and the World Laughs at You!

Now, there’s Room Temperature IQ and University of Chicago Alumna, Toni 'Prudence' Preckwinckle damning 1976 Nobel Literary Laureate Saul Bellow as a racist over remarks made concerning the dumbing down of literary canon formation ( no – Toni not a bunch of big Howitzers, but the selection of works considered great literature by discerning and knowledgeable people).

Bellow asked, "Who is the Tolstoy of the Zulus? The Proust of the Papuans? I'd be glad to read them," The New York Times loves to play gottcha for Cliffs Notes readers like Prudence Preckwinckle.

Last week, The Chicago Tribune reported this latest Progressive Pull-My –Finger Howler! It took that long for THE PROGRESSIVE - INDEPENDENT CONSCIENCE OF THE CITY - The Chicago Sun Times to proclaim a titmouses's thundering opinion - 'Weaallllp, if you don't want Bellow to have street Toni - well, maybe just maybe we can ask the Mayor for something.' Ghosts of Haymarket! Altgeldt's Alsatian Armpit Hairs, that thunders! Wasn't that a Time!

Well, Campfire Girls, The Progressive Conscience can not up the Wattage in Toni's Tiny Brain-pan - Hyde Park is tripping over Nobel Laureates - usually Science, Math and Economic; now, here's a guy who chose to actually live in Hyde Park ( not just grab a sandwich and a Leinie's at Jimmy's Woodlawn Tap and beat it) and Progressive Intellect Toni has declared Bellow 'damned for a witch' - I mean a racist - well same thing.

Last week when the Trib reported on this, I called a distinguished Chicago area literary scholar, retired Northwestern University Professor Joe Epstein. Joe is a frequent guest of Milt Rosenberg’s Extension 720 –WGN 720 AM radio show and a distinguished essayist and editor of The American Scholar.

I asked Joe Epstein about the charge. ‘Bellow wasn't the nicest guy on earth, but he and his remarks are not racist. That's nonsense.’

Joe, too, was laughing at this latest Progressive Witch Hunt. Prudence Preckwinckle gets a pass from too many in the media as an anointed Progressive. This 4th Ward laughingstock pal-ed up with convicted arsonist Fred Hubbard, Junior, in order to wail away about a street sign for his late Black Panther Pop. That was another good one.

Or, how about Preckwinckle’s taking $ 31, 375 from Tony Rezko for helping him float bum- property and then running to Carol Marin after Tim Novak’s article showed us the real estate cockroaches, for a feel good story. Howls!

A crook is a crook is crook is crook – boy, that Gertrude Stein – she had legs like Mike Ditka and pretty much the same inclinations. I’ll never be half the man Gerty was.

Saul Bellow was a mean guy – he was not a racist; a mean guy. Saul Bellow was also a force in Literature.

Toni Preckwinckle? Stop me if you’ve heard this one! I gotta call Joe back.

Progressives - they get out of the joint and they write a book about reforming the Democratic Party! Then maybe someone will read it to them! They kill me. Maybe they should try reading a couple of books - and not just the Cliff's Notes.

Here's a question - How do you get Alderman Toni Preckwinkle off your front porch?

Answer: Pay for the Pizza!

See you in the Funny Paper - The Progressive Independent Conscience of the City ( that kills me!) - Alderman!

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