Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Hickey's Gitmo Gutter Guests! -A Modest Proposal

After cleaning gutters, Gitmo Gutter Snipes, enjoy a hearty al fresco breakfast on the deck of the Hickey Facility in St, Cajetan's Parish of the Morgan Park neighborhood.
My tired old ass ( having cleaned the gutters) was treated to a boost from Chicago Attorney Tamara Holder.

This lovely, elegant and tough almost thirty-something Law Dog sent me a link to her column on the Guantanamo ( Gitmo) Terror Prison dilemma invented by President Obama who seems to have inherited every malady known to man from GW Bush.

The President, it seems to me, pandered to the Progressives and pulled the trigger way too soon on Gitmo. He is drawing dead on this issue.

Now, he is bringing an American-born terrorist home from Gitmo and can't find the lad a home. The lovely Ms. Holder writes,"President Obama has not resolved the issue of where these detainees will serve their sentences, if convicted, even though he promised to close Gitmo down by January 2010. But how can he close the doors on Gitmo before having new doors open? What a premature promise!"

Yep. Perhaps I can be of some service to my country. I'll take one or two.

I might even develop a business, whereby the terrorists can learn the glories of free market capitalism. Gitmo Gutter Snipes, Inc.!

Headquartered in my Morgan Park raised ranch, these Fruits of Islam can bunk in with Conor - he puts in a lot of hours at Di Cola's Fish Market on Western Ave. when he is not at Morraine Valley CC. His room is probably not as fresh-air sweet as what the boys from Cuba Non Libre might have been used to, but Conor might learn some valuable folding and put away techniques from the Gitmo Gents and become more Eco-Friendly.

As to the more Bad-ass Patriots worried that these enemies of America might be too comfortable here - Au contraire!

As any one of my three children will attest, 'Dad's a Psycho!'

I could have used Ahmed up on the damn roof. Mr. President, Send me a gitmo Guest, or two and they'd rue the day they ever went all street and drew down on Uncle Sam!

" Get up here! and turn that Goddam TV off! Now! Look, Ahmed, when I say I want the garage cleaned I don't want to hear about 'Celebrity Survivor' - yeah, she's the Guv's wife BFD! and all, but you ain't eating bugs with the Hickey's and you get to watch 'The Hills' with Nora and Clare -Now, get your ass back out there and sweep the damn garage floor. And Bub! Those cases of beer cans are counted,Bub! Two imports and three cheapos. Get busy, lunch is soon. You get Italian beef when it's ready; you want potato salad or cole slaw or both? You get Apple Valley juice - the Leinies are mine!"

Now, not only will the Gitmo Guest(s) on Rockwell get three hots and a cot, Ms. Holder reminded me of Prison Industry!

Our prison system is currently extremely overcrowded. Keep in mind, there are only 240 detainees; it's not like we are talking about thousands of beds here. But, these men will be housed in the maximum security facilities. It will cost taxpayers millions of dollars per year, per Gitmo convict, to house these men.

This issue of "WHERE" gives states a tremendous bargaining chip in this time of financial crisis. States that decide to house these men are in a position to receive an additional hundreds of millions of dollars a year.

Overcrowding may become a secondary issue...give the states enough money and they'll surely find a way to put these dudes somewhere. Money talks!

Prison Industry Allows for Private Companies to Profit Too

Modern day slavery still occurs in the prisons. Corporations pay prisoners pennies on the dollar for work. Be on the lookout fo lobbyists supporting the states bringing the detainees to the state pen. They can make some cash off of them too.

I will provide a home and a living wage! Honest Injun!

Mr. President, toss me some Stimulus Shekels and you and me'll get a GITMO GUTTER SNIPES, INC. prospectus up and running.

Your foreign policy was determined by 'Dignity Promotion*!'

Gitmo Gutters? Nice sound to that Penal Venture Enterprise? Sean Keane of Keane Sweep, Inc. would probably be delighted to learn that my tires got slashed . . . by some unknown party with a gutter cleaning business in the neighborhood . . .in the event that Gitmo Gutter Snipes came to pass.

* "It's time to reject the counsel that says the American people would rather have someone who is strong and wrong than someone who is weak and right," Obama said in a January (200speech. "It's time to say that we are the party that is going to be strong and right."

Let's all give it up for that fine 'Dignity Promotion' Foreign Policy!

1 comment:

Mike L. said...

Pat, maybe they could teach us morse code thru blinking, it beats text messaging..mike