Monday, October 19, 2015

My Interview with Donald Trump at the Old Evergreen Plaza on 95th & Western Avenue

The Donald at the PlaZoo on Western, in Evergreen Park, IL.  He said pretty much the same tripe to Chris Wallace.  Hell, why not?

PAT HICKEY: Mr. Trump, good to see you again. You took care of the dandruff problem you had when I sat behind you at the Gary, Indiana Gambling Hearings in 1994,


HICKEY:  What was it Selsun Blue, a full-court press of Zinc Pyrithione, or some organic shampoo?

TRUMP: I felt it. I mean I felt it from within. We have tremendous discontent in the country. We have tremendous problems in the country. And I felt it early on or I wouldn't have done this. But I see tremendous discontent.

HICKEY: Before we dig down into some issues,  how about that flatulence problem that seemed to accompany the dandruff?  Man, it was brutal, Don.  I mean, I have a pretty robust constitution and all but I thought, back then, that you must have put away an even dozen Whitey One Bites, a handful of Slim Jims and washed them down with a warm six pack of Buckhorn.


HICKEY : -- quick answers. Hey, I'm just stoking ya!  Should a prospective Commander-in-Chief tear off a half-dozen odoriferous pew splitters in public, like you did in 1994, or do his level best to tough it out?

TRUMP: I would use the debt limit. I don't want to say -- I want to be unpredictable, because, you know, we need unpredictability. Everything is so predictable with our country.

But I would be very, very strong on the debt limit. And I would be asking for a very big pound of flesh if I were the Republicans. And the problem with the Republicans, they have two sides. The smaller side is very strong and the other side is always agreeing and, you know, you can't do that.

HICKEY:  You were plenty unpredictable in the Gary Conference Center that day! Now, I can't see any of the other candidates GOP, or DEM doing the same with the exception of Bernie and he subsists on Vermont Vegan Alternative Energy Sources which can be as GI toxic as a fully loaded Dago Beef Combo from Al's on Taylor Street.

TRUMP: I do not want to say that because I want to show unpredictability. You have to. You can't just go around and say that.

But Planned Parenthood should absolutely be defunded. I mean if you look at what's going on with that, it's terrible. And many other things should be defunded and many things should be cut.

 HICKEY: You won't do a thing about abortion, Trumpo, no way!  Anyway. . . . How about that wedge of hair?  John Cutrone could take care of that in a nano-second.  Hey, look, this was real nice, Glad to see shoulder snow belt is cleared up and I must say you have exercised great pyloric self-control with me today - unlike that day in Gary, when you matched smelter for sphincter with Gary Works, the still operational LVT and the Dutch ovens of Inland over in East Chicago.  Have a nice campaign, I got pretty much what I wanted from you . . .Hey!  The interview is over and there's no cameras . . .Look.  Go talk to some of the Gummers getting exercise.  Nice.  Adios, Trump!  Beat it!  Go win a nomination.  Jesus, Christ, what is wrong with me?  Never make eye contact.

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