Tuesday, February 24, 2009

More Zorn Scorn of Catholics - It's Lent Dummy - People Make It Holy and Zorn Mocks Faith

Muslims are a Giggle!

Ramadan is the month in which Muslims must fast from sun-up to sun-down. This is meant to feel how the poor people are without food or water. In addition, Muslims close their bodies off from earthly demands by denying themselves food and drink. This in turn allows for the nourishment of the soul.

Fasting is more than just the mere denial of food and drink. Muslims must also abstain from smoking and sexual contact. In addition, there are culture-specific beliefs regarding the watching of television, listening to music, and the perusal of any secular vise that does not in some way enhance

Jews are Charming!

Five additional prohibitions are traditionally observed, as detailed in the Jewish oral tradition (Mishnah tractate Yoma 8:1):

Eating and drinking
Wearing leather shoes
Anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions
Sexual relations

Catholics are Outrageous!

Lent - Catholics fast, abstain, meditate, and pray to become better people. Wow - that is Outrageous!

Hey, Eric. This is a Catholic town. No kidding. Like any weasel, who makes sport of someone or some religion you feign genuine interest - 'so, Asians are all dog lovers -is that correct?'

The Father Guido Sarducii character on "Saturday Night Live" once announced that he was giving up menthol cigarettes for Lent. A friend's son gravely informed me several years ago that he was giving up using his Sony PlayStation for Lent.

"That should be tough for you," I said, knowing his fondness for video games.

"Not really," he said. "We also have Xbox."

I get it! Catholics are hypocrites. Hey, Dip Stick - do you have the Grapes to mock Rosh Hoshanna, Yom Kippur, Ramadan, or the purely artificially constructed Kwanza?

No grapes at all and a very short vine, no doubt. Catholics are easy targets, because we generally do not loosen a few of the molars of loudmouths and punks -any more. We generally laugh it off and consider the source - usually a Pencil Neck Geek with too a high an opinion of the schools he/she attended.

Let us return to those thrilling days of yesteryear! Just messing with you Eric. No one - Jeez that I know of - is going to separate your Ivories from your gums. Just metaphors.

Tell us, Eric, about your most Outrageous or Outlandish attempt at snide humor. Better yet, drop by a Knights of Columbus Hall make fun of the Virgin Mary, promote Abortion, or mock the Downs Syndrome Kids.

This Lent, I will tend to ignore smarmy punks who mock another person's Faith. Starting tomorrow, Ash Wednesday (Eric, thats the day when all of us Catholics have ashes made in the Sign of Cross to remind us of Death and Resurrection). Until then . . .


pundette said...

Go leave Eric a comment.

pathickey said...

Naw, Catholics are not welcome there.

pundette said...

I left one anyway. He's one thing I don't miss about Chicago.

pathickey said...

He is a Cupcake.

Adamgv said...

Check out this new Catholic band that just released their first album.

From what I heard on the samples site, they sound really good.

Introducing the new Christian National Anthem: Guns & Jesus.