Showing posts with label Pencil Neck Geeks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pencil Neck Geeks. Show all posts

Friday, April 30, 2010

Eric Zorn's Reply to Speech Before the House of Burgesses


Tea Partier Pat Henry -

No man, Mr. President, thinks more highly than I do of the patriotism, as well as abilities, of the very worthy gentlemen who have just addressed the House. But different men often see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope it will not be thought disrespectful to those gentlemen if, entertaining as I do opinions of a character very opposite to theirs, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve. This is no time for ceremony. The question before the House is one of awful moment to this country. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery; and in proportion to the magnitude of the subject ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty toward the Majesty of Heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings.

Mr. President, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and, having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst, and to provide for it.

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the British ministry for the last ten years to justify those hopes with which gentlemen have been pleased to solace themselves and the House. Is it that insidious smile with which our petition has been lately received? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet. Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. Ask yourselves how this gracious reception of our petition comports with those warlike preparations which cover our waters and darken our land. Are fleets and armies necessary to a work of love and reconciliation? Have we shown ourselves so unwilling to be reconciled that force must be called in to win back our love? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir. These are the implements of war and subjugation; the last arguments to which kings resort. I ask gentlemen, sir, what means this martial array, if its purpose be not to force us to submission? Can gentlemen assign any other possible motive for it? Has Great Britain any enemy, in this quarter of the world, to call for all this accumulation of navies and armies? No, sir, she has none. They are meant for us: they can be meant for no other. They are sent over to bind and rivet upon us those chains which the British ministry have been so long forging.

And what have we to oppose to them? Shall we try argument? Sir, we have been trying that for the last ten years. Have we anything new to offer upon the subject? Nothing. We have held the subject up in every light of which it is capable; but it has been all in vain. Shall we resort to entreaty and humble supplication? What terms shall we find which have not been already exhausted? Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves. Sir, we have done everything that could be done to avert the storm which is now coming on. We have petitioned; we have remonstrated; we have supplicated; we have prostrated ourselves before the throne, and have implored its interposition to arrest the tyrannical hands of the ministry and Parliament. Our petitions have been slighted; our remonstrances have produced additional violence and insult; our supplications have been disregarded; and we have been spurned, with contempt, from the foot of the throne! In vain, after these things, may we indulge the fond hope of peace and reconciliation. There is no longer any room for hope. If we wish to be free — if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending — if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained — we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms and to the God of hosts is all that is left us!



They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. The millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable — and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come.

It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace — but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!



Eric Zorn -
Mr. President, my esteemed colleagues, especially the fiery cry-baby Mr. Henry, what do you really want? " These voters are "big babies," as political journalist Michael Kinsley wrote in the introduction of his 1995 book with that title: "They make flagrantly incompatible demands — cut my taxes, preserve my benefits, balance the budget — and then explode in self-righteous outrage when politicians fail to deliver."

A nicer term of art for such people is "symbolic conservatives and operational liberals," said retired SIU political scientist John Jackson, now a visiting professor at the Simon Institute. "I read most of the major polls routinely," he said. "And my long-term reading of those polls certainly seems to indicate that we want it all while damning the government and taxes." "We want Washington and the states to fix all of our problems now," as Slate's Jacob Weisberg wrote earlier this year. "At the same time, we want government to shrink, spend less and reduce our taxes."

Weisberg's essay was titled, "Down with the people: Blame the childish, ignorant American public — not politicians — for our political and economic crisis.What to do? Hope that our leaders find the courage to treat us like adults, and hope that we find the wisdom to appreciate it. When you are being robbed, Man Up! Pay Up! Buck Up! It's the Patriotic Thing! A BFD! Listen to Joe! Joe Biden!

Racist Babies! Look around, do you see any women, blacks, or Pacific Islanders in this House of Burgesses? Dude! What's all this Great Britain Stuff? Context and Narrative, you cry baby!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thomson Gitmo Guest Haus ? Eric Zorn Hysterical about Imagined Fear? He Skips Naked Into Ruth's Mini Club - So To Speak.



Eric Zorn, not an original thinker and part of the PC herd of sheeple being prodded with the staff to counter opposition with a buzz-word du jour - fear.

Senator Dithering Dick Durbin, no stranger to group think is the Good Shepherd on this venture to bring 200 Terrorists to Carroll County in order to:

1. Improve the lives of 506 people in the town of Thomson, Illinois
2. Improve the quality of life for America's Guests who have been maltreated in Guantanamo by GW Bush and Dick Cheney
3. Give Eric Zorn something to say
4. Ensure that Eric " A Nation of Cowards" Holder has some cover for his Law Firm that specializes in getting terrorists off the hook
5. Ensure that former Governor Pat Quinn gets single digit numbers in the Democratic Primary.
6. Improve Melon sales in Carroll County


Eric Zorn is doing his level best to help make Thomson Illinois the Gitmo Guest Haus our President needs, because no other State will step-up.

EZ is puffing out his metaphorical 24" chest and straiting the muscles and sinews of his 6" neck attached to that chest with challenging words directed at the GOP who say no the move. Well I am a 19th Ward Democrat and I think moving any of hombres from GITMO to ANYWHERE is a Bone-Stupid idea. If it ain't broke don't monkey with it. Gitmo is the absolute best place on earth for these melon-devouring scumbags.

Get this -

And, yes, there's a risk associated with operating an open system of justice, whether we're trying mobsters, gang bangers or violent extremists. But that's just one of the risks of living in a free society, risks most of us are glad, even proud to assume.


Yes there is a risk when you take all of your clothes off, pour honey all over your head, don an Indian Headdress and skip buck-ass naked south on Halsted Street from 79th Street and decide to pop into Ruth's Mini Club Lounge at 83rd Street and Shout "Miss Scarlet! Eat that Barbecue and stop acting like Field Hand! and Come over and Kiss Mr. Rhett!"

That too is fraught with peril, Eric. Courage Camille!

Save us the "Gitmo was the Recruiting tool of Al Queda . . .' Really, girls? Where are there any Al Queda Recruitment Center Posters or Be Al You Khan Be! commercial on Al Jazeera?

EZ and the Fear Tossers need a handful of Midols.

Their Agenda is a National Trainwreck on Health Care, the Economy, Environment, Foreign Relations, and Hanukkah. When your numbers are way done, it is a good idea to ADD some support, but the Progressive Plan reequires more subtraction on the way to self-pity.

President Obama has done everything that the Amateur Hour White House Crew ( thick with Progressive Chicagoans) advised that he do and as a result -he is going down as the Millard Filmore of the New Millennium. Hell, even Jimmy Carter is looking good by comparison.

*
Ruth's Mini Club
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http://chicago.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/lounge/ruths-mini-club-englewood-auburn-gresham/141248/content

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

More Zorn Scorn of Catholics - It's Lent Dummy - People Make It Holy and Zorn Mocks Faith



Muslims are a Giggle!

Ramadan is the month in which Muslims must fast from sun-up to sun-down. This is meant to feel how the poor people are without food or water. In addition, Muslims close their bodies off from earthly demands by denying themselves food and drink. This in turn allows for the nourishment of the soul.

Fasting is more than just the mere denial of food and drink. Muslims must also abstain from smoking and sexual contact. In addition, there are culture-specific beliefs regarding the watching of television, listening to music, and the perusal of any secular vise that does not in some way enhance


Jews are Charming!

Five additional prohibitions are traditionally observed, as detailed in the Jewish oral tradition (Mishnah tractate Yoma 8:1):

Eating and drinking
Wearing leather shoes
Bathing/washing
Anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions
Sexual relations


Catholics are Outrageous!

Lent - Catholics fast, abstain, meditate, and pray to become better people. Wow - that is Outrageous!

Hey, Eric. This is a Catholic town. No kidding. Like any weasel, who makes sport of someone or some religion you feign genuine interest - 'so, Asians are all dog lovers -is that correct?'

The Father Guido Sarducii character on "Saturday Night Live" once announced that he was giving up menthol cigarettes for Lent. A friend's son gravely informed me several years ago that he was giving up using his Sony PlayStation for Lent.

"That should be tough for you," I said, knowing his fondness for video games.

"Not really," he said. "We also have Xbox."


I get it! Catholics are hypocrites. Hey, Dip Stick - do you have the Grapes to mock Rosh Hoshanna, Yom Kippur, Ramadan, or the purely artificially constructed Kwanza?

No grapes at all and a very short vine, no doubt. Catholics are easy targets, because we generally do not loosen a few of the molars of loudmouths and punks -any more. We generally laugh it off and consider the source - usually a Pencil Neck Geek with too a high an opinion of the schools he/she attended.

Let us return to those thrilling days of yesteryear! Just messing with you Eric. No one - Jeez that I know of - is going to separate your Ivories from your gums. Just metaphors.

Tell us, Eric, about your most Outrageous or Outlandish attempt at snide humor. Better yet, drop by a Knights of Columbus Hall make fun of the Virgin Mary, promote Abortion, or mock the Downs Syndrome Kids.

This Lent, I will tend to ignore smarmy punks who mock another person's Faith. Starting tomorrow, Ash Wednesday (Eric, thats the day when all of us Catholics have ashes made in the Sign of Cross to remind us of Death and Resurrection). Until then . . .

Saturday, September 13, 2008

McCain/Palin: Progressive Anthem Sing Along with Fred Blassie!





What are all you kids doing up so early on a Saturday? Okay, okay I'll post the music. Sarah Palin has no doubt bagged moose, cooked breakfast, and worked on her upcoming chin-wags with the meatheads of the media. I have been working on an epic poem dedicated to the U.S. coins (now out of circulation) struck in honor of American women who hate men - hell, so do I!

Click My Post Title for the air to the American Progressive Anthem (Pencil Neck Geek by American Poet/Wrestler/Patriot Fred Blassie)- Sing Along and Sing in throng! I tear up and choke with manly emotion everytime I hear this stirring and accurate tribute of American Progressives - men in size 7 1/2" Shirt Collars and Gals who look like they could skate on the Roller-Derby circuit!


Ballad of the Progressive ( by Fred Blassie)
Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said, "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek."

Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck."
Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck.
And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak,
It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek."

You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead,
Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head,
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,
You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek.

(chorus)
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak,
scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique.
He's a one man, no gut, losing streak.
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek.

Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town.
You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down.
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,
Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick.

One day we cut one up for fish bait.
Learned our lesson just a little bit late.
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.

chorus

Most any night you know where I can be found.
Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground.
So keep the faith, 'cause in Blassie you can trust,
I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust.

chorus

They say these geeks come a dime a dozen.
I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplyin' the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
grit eatin',
scum suckin',
boot lickin',
drop kickin',
gut grindin',
nail bitin',
glue sniffin',
scab pickin',
butt scratchin',
egg hatchin',
sleazy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,
dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek.

Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.

McCain/Palin: Eric Zorn's EZ Guide to Why Progressives Are Such Pencil Neck Geeks! - Palin Talks Funny!





























Hot on the heals of Joan Walsh's Salon piece that attempts to imply that Governor Sarah Palin pronounced 'Nuclear' as 'Nucular' Chicago Tribune's Size 7 1/2" Collar and Original Thinker Eric Zorn* gets hot under his tiny suburban collar!

In her first tough TV interview, GOP veepee nominee Sarah Palin several times referred to "nucular" weapons instead of "nuclear" weapons.

We fussy people cringe at this the way we cringe when we hear people say "ek-setera" and "liberry."
( Intrusive Narrator Hickey" Kick 'em in the Nuts! Gouge out their Eyes! Harrumph!) . . .
But at least three former U.S. Presidents -- Dwight Eisenhower, Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton -- said "nucular" from time to time, and, of course, "nucular" has become virtually a trademark for George W. Bush. ( Intrusive Narrator - Note Eric's uses of The Progressive Smarm or the Ass Kicking Insurance)

Language experts tell us the reason "nucular" seems right to many speakers (and has even become an accepted pronunciation due to how common it's become) is that hundreds of English words end in "yoo-lar" --vascular, molecular, jocular and so on -- while very few end in the "lee-ar" -- cochlear and nuclear may be about it.

Is this a big deal? Obviously not. But Sarah Palin's handlers seemed to have thought so: In the script of her speech to the Republican convention, they spelled out the word phonetically for her: ( Instrusive Narrator: Did Michael Sneed write this last? Hmmmm? Lift 'Em? Print 'Em! Cash 'Em)

We're going to lay more pipelines {and] build more new-clear plants...Terrorist states are seeking new-clear weapons
Oh, Mercies Abounding! Did she Rah-lley Say That? Kewl - She So Whit Trosh! Murial Clair! That's So Not Kewl!'
Yep, and Progressives wonder why they can not get a like-minded fuss-budget elected anywhere more than 300 yards West of Lake Michigan.

Eric, my pencil necked pal, Governor Palin also pronounces herself to be a HAWKEY MAWM!

Eric, no one of the thousands of people in my neighborhood( Morgan Park/Beverly/Mt. Greenwood,TN) own a 'living room' - they all invite one another into THE FrunChroom. ' Tess, where's your Old Man?'
'In The Frunchroom layin' on the floor in his shorts watching the Sox at Comiskey ( Joan Cusack notwithstanding!).

Kids leave their bikes in the Gangway. A greenscape is a PRAYER-EE. Baptist, Jewish, Muslim and Atheist kids from Sutherland or Clissold Public schools will tell auslanders and reporters that they live in St. Barnabas, Caj-Uh Tens ( St. Cajetan) er Fisher ( St. John Fisher).

Eric we embrace diversity. Why is it that Progressives mock the richness and cultural rainbow that is our Global Village? Really. Eric Zorn and your sock-puppets really nail Governor Palin on the Issues!

Sarah Palin talks funny and has a Downs Syndrome Baby that she did not Abort. Sic her, Cupcake!

Hey, give Joanie Walsh of Salon her props. She called out Sarah Palin for all of you Original Thinkers!

* Ballad of the Progressive ( by Fred Blassie)
Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said, "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek."

Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck."
Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck.
And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak,
It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek."

You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead,
Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head,
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,
You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek.

(chorus)
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak,
scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique.
He's a one man, no gut, losing streak.
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek.

Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town.
You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down.
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,
Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick.

One day we cut one up for fish bait.
Learned our lesson just a little bit late.
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.

chorus

Most any night you know where I can be found.
Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground.
So keep the faith, 'cause in Blassie you can trust,
I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust.

chorus

They say these geeks come a dime a dozen.
I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplyin' the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
grit eatin',
scum suckin',
boot lickin',
drop kickin',
gut grindin',
nail bitin',
glue sniffin',
scab pickin',
butt scratchin',
egg hatchin',
sleazy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,
dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek.

Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.