Wednesday, November 26, 2014

A Thanksgiving Address To Boys Ten* and Under from Mr. Dark Meat Hickey

Men,  this is what we have waited for all this past year - through Christmas, Easter,both Parents Days, National Holidays, Religious Oberservances, Birthdays and etc. - Thanksgiving.

You and your cousins park your rumps on cast-off kitchen chairs that molded in the basement, since last year, or those rusty folding chairs that your Dad, or uncle promised to take a sand belt to, repaint and oil the joints, but 364 days of Wheel of Fortune got in the way. You and your male cousins will get the dark meat.

Respect the dark meat.  Be the dark meat.- legs, wings, thighs, the back meat. Men, we are dark meat; girls are white meat. We are necessary to the fate of Church, the neighborhood and America.  Dark meat gives us the necessary grease to keep the lugs and seers that operate our arms and legs.  White meat, like the Ladies, is refined - it is clean and delicate. You gotta pour a quart of gravy on it to make it taste anywhere near as good as dark meat. Here's how to get at it - Paty Attention!

Now, here's why eating dark meat is important.
Dark meat is eat with your hands meat!  Dark meat is vital fuel for men of action and patriots. Dark meat  is what the guys at Valley Forge, Bougainville and the Chosin Reservoir in Korea had to make them refuse to lose.

White meat just wont cut it - too flakey - falls apart.

Dark meat ?  Hold the phone!  Man, You got work to do! Chewing and tasting the sweet grease!  There are no WHITE MEAT turkey legs, Gentlemen.  It just does not happen.

Get to it!  Now, don;t load up on chips and candy and crap before dinner.  Lay off the egg-nog until the pies and cookies come out.  Take it easy on the spuds - sweet, mashed or otherwise. Give the stuffing to the little guys with pieces of dark meat - have Uncle Johnny cut it up for them.  Eat the cranberry sauce.  Now, nail that dark meat.

If you get a leg you had better do it justice. Have that bone picked as clean as a bald bowling ball.

Happy Thanksgiving!  Eat like a Champion!

* Boys Eleven and Older never listen to anyone and will generally take whatever the Hell they want from any plate, bowl, dish or table top - savages.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

End White Privilege - Immediately. I mean it. Right now. With All Due Haste

Chicago protesters
In the wake of the expected tantrums, hissy-fights, looting, burning, Twittering and cable anchor vamping over the non-indictment of our Dreyfus du jour, ( That Ferguson cop Wilson) Chicago's own utility out-in-Left-fielders cadre of White Privileged Honkies hit the streets in full solidarity with the Black men and women ( except the Ferguson witness pool, black intellectuals, Supreme Court jurist and working folks) of Plantation Pander America. 

I wish White Privilege would just go away, like Leonard Bernstein did in the Summer of 1971, when Art Frye of Local 25 ( the Orchestra Hall superintendent) told him to go have carnal relations with himself, for snapping his fingers in full fury at me and two Polish janitors,  because we did not immediately snap to attention, during our lunch break and  immediately recognize the wants and desires of  the sexual identity challenged Maestro.  Yep, white privilege vamoosed up command in them halcyon days of yore.

Not now.

Privileged Whites armed with faux concern and Guy Fawkes masks went to war with cops last night and were marshaling tens of warriors this morning, as I picked up the Leo Dozen from Englewood, Grand Crossing ( O Street) ,Bronzeville and points west of the Dan Ryan.

I was my privilege to drive these energetic, engaged and fiery African American teenagers.  They are none too worried about their condition and position in society, or history.  They are ass-kickers and heart-breakers.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Political Analysis From Some Guy Whose Got A City Job

The Chicago Sun Times is the worst paper with some of the best writers in Chicago - Tim Novak, Chris Fusco, Natasha Korecki and Dan Mihalppoulos.  Today, Chris Fusco and Dan Mihalopoulos report on the tacit support of Speaker Mike Madigan for Rahm Emanuel's next run for Mayor, " After staying neutral in the last race for Chicago mayor, Illinois House Speaker Michael J. Madigan has provided major support to Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s re-election campaign, a Chicago Sun-Times analysis of election records shows."

This analysis took place while Quinn was still Governor in Springfield.

The epiphany brought on by city workers armed with clipboards over stuffed with nominating petitions for the upcoming aldermanic and mayoral contests is hardly the Star of Bethleham signing, " Oh, Come! Oh Come, EeeeeeeeeeMaHahan You All! To run some crap games NEAR EAR Da EL."

Sorry.I have been trapped in 6th Grade at Little Flower Grammar School since 1964.  I got me some kind of Rod Serling brain disorder.

Anyway, Fusco and Mihalopoulos are on target.  Though it is hard to tell what a universally silent man is saying.  The troops are out.  I have barely finished hefting multiple Fran Hurley and Bill Cunningham panic fliers into the Blue Recycle Bins when new glossy political promissory notes appear in my mail chute.

I decided to talk to one of disappearing legionnaires of Chicago City Work Force - Clay Calhoun, or CC, to neighbors and friends.

CC came to Chicago in 1978 from Rapid City, SD as a campaign worker for Senator Frank Church's bid for the Presidential nomination. CC was quickly  dragoon'd to the Ted Kennedy Campaign and when Jimmy Carter got the nod was left here to dangle.  He worked for various Ward organizations, until he found a home here in 19th Ward which in the 1980's was run by giants - Jeremiah Joyce and Mike Sheahan. Giants speak truth - 'you have a job.'  Giants do not understand Passive Aggressive. That is the language of the Progressive - " I AM working for you. I AM hearing you. You Catholics are SO needed. The Republicans control everything and now is not a good time.  You are the Best!  Vote!"

Mike Madigan and the Giants got along.  Madigan speaks no words, but deeds up a storm.  Giants match deeds with words.

CC has worked steadily.  I decided to ask Clay Calhoun about the word about Emanuel as political currency;met him for coffee at Horse Thief Hollow.

"CC,"  I said, "  how will the 19th break the news to voters that it is Okay to vote for Mayor Coon Eyes?:"

CC looked up from his recent edition of the Beverly Review, took a sip of coffee, rub his South Dakota hawk-like beak and managed, " Rahm's not too bad."

Thereby hangs the tale and each every one of us.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Mayor Coon-eyes Now Old King Coal

                                 Old King Cole was Merry Old Soul;
                                 He had Buckskin Belly/
                                 And a Rubber @##hole - Popular Children's Nursery Rhyme

"The Emanuel campaign will begin airing a new television ad featuring a Pilsen community activist who was among the leaders of a longtime fight to close two coal plants believed to cause asthma," said Emanuel campaign spokesman Steve Mayberry. "This is one of a series of ads where Chicagoans will share their stories on a range of important city issues." Sun Times

Rahm is a Chicago guy.  He's done more for the little guy and the middle guy than any human being this side of San Pedro Street, what's in Los Angeles. Rahm is all about hard choices. Coal or Bike Lane?  Bike Lanes.  Coal don't vote.

Coal is a petro chemical and it is used cause asthma in little Mexican kids and cook Hipster pizza on west Grand, like Lombardo's does in NYC.  Is that a problem for you?

Not for Rahm.  Pizza can be gas cooked, even though it too is a petrochemical, but it is not coal.  You want lights with your pizza?  Ride a bike.

If Com Ed burns coal to light up Daley Plaza. Rahm will have something to say about and Com Ed will not like the words coming out of his mouth.

Coal is bad and cheaper than bike lanes.

Rahm Emanuel is all about the little guy and middle guy. He's a Chicago guy - born bred in Highland Park of Lake County.  His brother Zeke is doctor and will drop dead the minute he turns 75.  He's for bike lanes choking traffic to death like a city-wide Hillside Strangler and he's the cure for Mexican Asthma.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Francis Cardinal George, O.M.I - Chicago's Worker Archbishop

Juravit Dominus et non paenitebit eum/
Tu es sacerdos in aeternum secundum ordinem Melchisedech./
Dominus a dextris tuis,/
confregit in die irae suae reges.

(The Lord swore, and will not repent:Thou art a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedech.The Lord upon thy right hand,shall wound even kings in the day of his wrath.)
Those are some tough words for hymn. The lyrics come form Pslam 110 and the tune from George Fredrick Handel ( Mr. Messiah). This Baroque hymn is sung at the ordination of priests.  I sang with with my pals Mike Kelly, Willie Bigane, Bobby Ryan, Kevin McEldowney, Phil Panatera, Tommy Walsh and other scapegraces from Little Flower Grammar School following weeks of training from Miss Alice Doney and beat downs from high school age choirmasters, like Terry McEldowney.  We got it right for a young guy's First Mass - I think his name was Corrigan.  I remember the beauty of hymn and sense of the sacred that got through to 7th & Grade miscreants aborbed with growing hormones, scatological humor and physically violent pranks.  We were told by Sister Mary Doralese and Sister Mary Gertrudis (RSM) that we were destined to 'die on the gallows. or worse.'  Well, you can't kill a man born to hang.

Nevertheless, our choir carried off the First Mass of a young priest from the neighborhood . . .splendidly. I recall that we were treated to a five spot ($5) each by the father of the priest and that was in 1965 dollars.

I though about the Handel hymn all weekend - every time the Chicago media announced that Francis Cardinal George will end his leadership of Archdiocese of Chicago on Tuesday, November 18th.

I though about the lyrics of Juravit Dominus and how real the words of the Psalm match the tenure of Cardinal George's stewardship of the Church in Chicago.

Cardinal George caught a bum rap from the newspapers, activist priests who play to the OP ed pontiffs from Oak Park to Englewood, gutless elected officials pandereing for more LGBTQ hozanahs and Planned Parenthood lucre and the blow-dried ninnies on Chicago television  I can think of no churchman who withstood more ambush activism and journalism than Francis Cardinal George for speaking the truth.  The truth runs counter to desires and impulses - always.

Cardinal George cleaned up the clergy abuse mess tolerated by his two predecessors, the racial animus inherited from Cardinal Cody's singular role in making Chicago a genuinely 'segregated' city and Cardinal Bernadin's enegetic closing of schools, churches and social institutions.

Even institutions run by the Church follow idiotic policies of goo-goo of State, County and City progressive one-size-fits-all procrustean policy.  Policy is for . . . .persons without the will to good for others.  Sometimes, it is necessary to work things like Catholic Chicagoans - outside of preening policy.

Cardinal George found time to counsel Leo students who came from horrible situations (abusive parents, crime addicted families, drug addled parent with legal custody & etc.)  and to call about their progress.  I have yet to pick up the phone to report back to Neil Steinberg, Carol Marin, Mike Flannery and Dane Placko of Fox News 32 on the condistions of an apartment at 40th & Wallace and how a kid manages to maintain a C+ average with running water and a diet of Cheetos.  The kid refused to abandon his little brother and suffered dysfunction, squallor, rats and loneliness.  Cardinal George partnered with Leo and helped - Old School Chicago.   Cardinal George calls about hurting kids all of the time.

Cardinal George is a working man's priest, bishop and Cardinal. An intellectual giant and ecclesiastical scholar of international reputation, Cardinal George never lost tough with the carpenters, electricians, cops, school teachers, firemen, or skilled tradesmen who remain in the Catholic pews of Chicago and who also shooulder the abuse from prentencious asses like Carol Marin, Eric Zorn, Michael Sneed, or Dane Placko with modest good humor.

Cardinal George is a great shepherd and a great guy -Order of Melchisedech notwithstanding.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Baby Got Back! Leo High School Ads on CTA Bus Fleet

Leo High School has once again purchased signage for the back end of the CTA Bus Fleet.  You can get a generous eyeful of Leo High School information while cruising your way through Chicago traffic on smartly targeted routes - 79th Street; Western Avenue; Dr. Martin Luther King Drive; Hyde Park Routes; 111th and 115th Street Routes.

Leo High School is a school of opportunity.  Since 1926, Leo High School has been the choice of working families for sons who want to succeed beyond imaginary and genuine social and economic barriers.

Leo Men are in front ranks of business, religious, legal, civic, military, skilled trades and public service professionals, because their common core Catholic value education challenged them exceed expectations.

Read up, Chicago and drive with couretsy.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Putin the Moves on Peng - Randy Ruskie Hits on Red Chinee First Babe

While Obama distracts Xi with yarns about his days as a community activists, Vlad goes all-in for some International Dim Sum Yum, Yum.

Ride a Bear, Check
Kill a Tiger,Check
Take Crimea, Check
Yank Down Obama's Britches Repeatedly, Check
Hit on Xi's Old Lady, Check and Mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Old Vlad is Bad! That borscht slurping, poisoned umbrella swordsman got it goin' on!  Oriental chicks swear that Occidental horn-dogs are obsessed with them and Vlad Putin is not about to put that notion to bed, Sisters!

It seems that Vlad Without Borders went after the Head Red's toothsome wife, Peng.

"While Xi was distracted talking to U.S. President Barack Obama, who was sitting on his right, Russia's tiger-shooting, horseback-riding president made his move. After a brief exchange -- you can almost imagine Peng making appropriately cliché small talk like "my, isn't it chilly in here" -- Putin abruptly stood up, grasped a tan coat in both hands, and wrapped it chivalrously around the first lady's shoulders. She smiled gracefully, thanked him, and sat down -- only to surreptitiously slip the coat from her shoulders moments later into the waiting arms of an attendant."

Here is Boris Badinoff being Bad enough at the China Meet-Up.