Sunday, March 29, 2015

Fawning Bob, "I'm With Rahm" Fioretti!

“If there is a run off, I will support whoever the challenger is,” the alderman said then. “We need a change. Chicago is headed in the wrong direction under this mayor.” Fighting Bob Fioretti only last month.

Count on it!

7.4 out of 100 Chicagoans took Bob's word and cast their votes to the February 24th wind!

Well, like most simple, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth, 'unsophisticated' Chicagoans, I pretty much ignored Bob Fioretti.

Rahm Emanuel did not and probably sent Fighting Bob a sophisticated Whitman Sampler chock full ganche covered alewives and smelt with nice note hand penned from Mayor 9.5's delicate fingers, "Dive In, Bob!"

Now, today we learn about Fawning Bob Fioretti,
 “We need a mayor that can dive in, rather than a mayor that wants to create a commission to look at the problem that his supporters say does not exist,” the Fioretti statement said. “The mayor and i disagree on many issues. . . . My endorsement is about which of these two candidates is ready and able to take on the tough financial challenges this city faces. For me, that candidate is Rahm.” (emphasis my own)

He belongs to the ages, now! He belongs to this - 

Video from Second City Cop

Friday, March 27, 2015

Time for Another "Rahm Can't Lose" Poll, After Garcia Pins the Dancer!

He might not be King of the City, but he is Rahm of the Urban Jungle, and last night he got thumped by Commissioner Garcia, while dancing through the weeds.

The clear-cut aggressor in their second debate, Garcia even flattened Emanuel when the mayor tried to claim credit — as he did in one of his earliest campaign commercials — for a landmark achievement in Garcia’s backyard.
“Let’s take the neighborhood of Little Village that Chuy’s represented for 30 years. Working with community leaders, I finally closed the coal plant that was there spewing pollution,” Emanuel said during the debate on Fox32 Chicago.
Garcia was so incensed by Emanuel’s attempt to claim credit, he literally laughed out loud.

As did we all . . .

Now, we can expect a poll conducted by the firm of Ogden and Nash, or whatever, showing Rahm with 99.5% advantage.
Image result for desiree rogers,andy shaw
A random selection of  three imaginary voters(Desiree Rogers, Andy Shaw and Gator Bradley)  were given the following questions

1: What is your political party?
2: Do You Like You Job?
3: Rahm, or Poke in the eye with a hot pierogi?
4: What are your thoughts on The Epic of Gilgamesh?
5: Does race effect your shopping choices?
6: Does religion matter to Pope Francis?
7: What about gender? What about ganders? What about garters?
8: Does sexuality effect your views on sleep?
9: Does a politicians fingers matter?
10: What about college drinking?
11: Do you have anything to say about this quiz? Please say something. I'm lonely.  I'm a pollster.

Results:not for the squeamish
 1. All Identified as Democrats 2. All liked their jobs;especially, Urban TranslatorGator Bradley 3. Two of three voters ( Desiree Rogers, Andy Shaw and Gator Bradley) prefered Rahm to a poke in the lamps with steamiung pierogi, but Desiree Rogers hesitated asked for more time and finally asked for both. 4. No opinions - even Andy Shaw 5. All three race to shop 6. I guess . . . 7. Gender, ganders and garters matter - don not ask and certainly do not tell, but Gator loves garters! 8. Yes, especially when a new job at the Lotto, Peoples Gas, Obama White House and The Illinois BGA 9. Only to the candidate, when visiting  The Husky Hog BBQ at 335 W 31st St, Chicago, IL 60616 The Huslky Hog is crazy good!10. Weed.11. Not about nor to the pollster so much as a kind word.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Chicago Snow Man - March 2015

The Side of House Hickey, only two days ago - March 2015
Chicagoans, you've earned this!  America's greatest poet was a shy business guy.  He knew.  So, do we all.

 The Snow Man
by Wallace Stevens
One must have a mind of winter
To regard the frost and the boughs
Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;
And have been cold a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with ice,
The spruces rough in the distant glitter
Of the January sun; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,
Which is the sound of the land
Full of the same wind
That is blowing in the same bare place
For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.

Come to America and Live the Dream 1912

Rahm 'N Noodles

"A little learning is a dang'rous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again. Alexander Pope for Chuy!

Guess who is all about sophistcated fiscal love saving Chicago from Detroitis, a simile for detritis. .


Guess who says so.


Noodles take sips of the heady stuff brewed by disciples of Dave Axelrod - the Godfather of the Narrative Meme and distilled bull-jive.  Noodles get hammered on a sip if Sneed, a snifter of Zorn, au bon pere of Old Trib and Early & OftenTimes and  go from pleasant, witty and charming  to bullet proof in every political exchange quicker than REM cycles.

Noodles thank their lucky stars, charms, strikes and lottos that Rahm Emanuel has guided the small city wagon train with sure and steady tough-minded fiscal sophistication and love these last four years. Ever mindful that Rahm can be a prickly little prique, Noodles know that unless Commissioner Jesus"Chuy" Garcia lays out ever measure he plans to take over next four years Chicago will surely become a ghost town on a lake like Detroit.

Detroit is the magic charm elixor for the sippers of heady brew.  My Alderman, Matt O'Shea, as fine and hardworking a young chap as one could find pours Detroit for Noodles in my Ward in mailer I got yesterday.  Matt O'Shea is loyal to Rahm and still respects his constituents who will put Chuy Garcia over Rahm come April 7th.

Noodles will weave and argue the tight and conversation ending meme that only Rahm can save Chicago from going the way that Rahm drove this hick burg on wheels. And that settles it!~

Monday, March 23, 2015

Another Rahm Poll to Keep Aunt Gert's Vote

Rahm is polling up a storm!  The only way he can remain in office and not join Pat Quinn in the unemployement line is to convince Aunt Gert that that "other guy" will have Mariachi bands outside of her nail salon 24/7.

Aunt Gert takes an Uber to Orland Park from Chicago Lawn ( 63rd & Kostner) because her nail-girls on Pulaski closed 'when the Mexicans moved in.' Aunt Gert is German-Irish and couldn't stand Polacks and Lugans either and don't get her started on 'the coloreds.'  Aunt Gert is with Rahm.

Dog Whistle meme - Chuy is a nice indígena mezclada con blanca from cowboy-happy Durango ( foreign born like Mayor Pushcart Tony Cermak -doncha know) who has absolutely no fiscal sophistication: Chuy has never sold off City assets, nor booted a car in Brainerd.

You see, Rahm climbed up on Richie Daley's knee one fine April day and said that he wanted to be Mayor ever so much. I am sure that Mayor Richie understood that the earnest little guy would call off any and all dogs yapping at his heels from Justice and the Chicago Media. Rahm is Mayor and has millions of dollars to prove it.

That is fiscal sophistication.

Chicago is Detroit with a Continental Finance MasterCard.  Sophisticated.

Here is the latest poll thick with John Dewey-esque outcomes pre-established and numbers to impress Aunt Gert, " Numbers don't lie, Dumbass!"

Aunt Gert is sophisticated,

Friday, March 20, 2015

Sticky! It's Time for Another National Conversation About Race!

Sticky Johnson is doing time.  He was a neighbor of Leo High School, who always had smile that could light up a room!  "Hey, Coach! Hey, Leo Man! Big Win! Go Lions!. . . .got any change? I'm $.30 away from my 40!"  Sticky was known to the kids, the coaches and the leadership of our school. Seemed to be a harmless bust-out on threshhold of turning his life around. Sticky could not catch a break.  Sticky is doing hard time.

Sticky should not be left out of our latest national conversation about Race. Conversations about Race always seem to occur whenever President Obama has an especially bad week - like Bibi Netanyahu's Likud victory over the Obama K-Street Commandos ( Jerry Bird's One Voice) sent to Israel to gum up the elections. Enter Starbucks and Mrs. Star Wars!

Here's the Internal Memo from Starbucks' Disastrous Race-Relations Push

Should have sent Sticky Johnson!  In this latest wake of Israeli obstreperousness, the Starbucks CEO laid out Race Together . . .kind of like One Voice, except racing and not voicing.  This gave Chicago's doyen of drivel, Michael Sneed, a great opportunity to pucker up for local monied-powerhouse's keister - Mellody Hobson - Mrs. Star Wars Lucas Museum and Landfill. Mellody Hobson?  Is her given name pronouned in the Iberian fashion?  MAYOD?  Probably not.

Hey, Kids!  TRY and find a Starbucks in an impoverished black neighborhood! T'aint any! A Starbucks is Chatham Heights home to septuagenarian Civil Rights activists, retire CPD Commanders and Bankers B Starbucks Hyde Park Lite just east of Clarence Darrow's ashes and C BUCKS in tony Hyde Park Peoples Republic of Obama

Starbucks, Mellody Hobson, David Axelrodian Grassroots and a Likud Victory in Israel can mean only one thing - It's Time for another National Conversation About Race.

As the Director of Development for an overwhelmingly African American place of learning, I take a back seat to no one when it comes to smooching the rumps of already generous folks - most of them are old white guys.

However, I have not been able to guilt people who came by their riches through political pay-to-play and strategic investment of capital in former slum property to send as much as a nickel over to the school on Sangamon.  Much shame to me.  Most of my failure is rooted in an inability to match flim-flam with faith and guff with gelt.
Image result for mellody hobson with street person
You see I am no Desiree Rogers, Mellody Honson. Elzie Higgenbottom, much less Robert Redford, a Michael Moore, or a Cullen Davis. White, or Black, my soul recoils from a huge of pile of . . .bunkum.Not so the media, especially butt-munchers like Chicago Sun Times gossip maven Michael Sneed

The talk of the Twitterverse Wednesday began with a cup of Starbucks that brewed up a storm on social media.
And it was Chicago’s own Mellody Hobson — a financial whiz who is president of Ariel Investments and an African-American member of the Starbucks board of directors — who may have started the coffee brewing.
Well, ShhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeIIIIDDDDDDDDD, Sneed, It might have been Me!  I could have been Eddie Carroll of Carroll Roofing!  You know people say that Eddie came up with the idea of the spitlless harmonica.  The Harmonica Lewinsky! Really. Honor bright.

Race together?

Why, it just might have been Sticky Johnson, who is doing time for breaking into Leo's buses for the catalytic converters and pistol-whipped Mr. Haywood, our mechanic, when he came out and caught Sticky, a Section a Housing Alumnus  who was staying with friends in an apartment on Sangamon.  It just may have been Sticky who may have started the coffee brewing.

Sticky!  Speak on it,  Son!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

I Get Schooled: "Only Sophisticated Fiscal Fellows Follow Rahm"


Cultivated and percipient 19th Ward voter Chapin " The Lute" Craven* took especial umbrage when I offered my choice for Mayor - Jesus Chuy Gracia.

This, in sum, to the very best of my memory, were The Lute's views on my vote.

" You must be @#$%ing stupid, or some kind Tea Party thug. How can you call yourself a Democrat. You're full of $hit. I read you stupid crap about how you love Sarah Palin and hate Obama, because he happens to be a black man and you can not stand the simple truth that he won and he is in the White House to stay.

Rahm is the only choice we have and you hate Rahm because he is 'this' close to President Obama. You want Illinois to be like Detroit, Wisconsin with Scott Walker. How you like Rauner? Yeah. Idiots like you put him there. You want Chuy because you think he will destroy unions.

Rahm loves unions. Rahm hates the Tea Party and that is why he is taking money awy from Tea Party creeps like you and putting it into his own Campaign - redistribution of wealth, baby.  It's here and you can't handle it!

Chuy's nuts! He's not sophisticated, A$$hole; do you grasp that? Fiscal sophistication -understand?

All you know is hate. Hate for Obama! Hate for Col. er . . .African Americans!  Hate for Q . . .Marriage Equality! Haters gonna hate. You hate Rahm. Why? Jew? You and your hero Bibi - haters.

Chuy is going to turn Illinois into a border town, @#$er! That's right!  The Latino vote that is not mobbed up will vote for Rahm Emanuel.  You and Tea Party Chuy want a low turnout again.   @#$% You! That's right @#$% You! . . . Hey, can hold a couple of dollars, until I get my disability check."

Can't argue with that. Lute.
*Chapin " The Lute" Craven, 58, of Beverly  was a middle school science teacher in Glenwood, IL, and  applied for disability in 2003 due to "prolonged stress and chronic back pain," Illinois Attorney Genera Lisa Madiganl's Office has taken a special interest in Mr. Craven and recently said, "Mr. Craven  might be in violation of Illinois laws and statutes concerning vocational disability.  :Lute's disability  application was approved in 2004.
Since that time, he has received $245,130 in monthly disability payments, even though he was allegedly working as a full-time teacher in Beecher, IL began working as a substitute in Whiting, IN before filing his disability application, authorities said, and continued until 2010, when he accepted the full-time job, which he continues to hold.
Lute is active in Medieval String Club of Beverly Unitarian Church and featured artist on the sidewalk between Claremont and Western Avenue at 110th Street most Saturdays and Sundays. A vegetarian and activist Lute reads the New York Times, watches only Public Television and likes Carol Marin but would never think of dating her.
Mr. Craven is a confirmed bachleor and resides near the Metra .

Leo Alumni Meeting at Father Perez Knights of Columbus Hall in Mount Greenood

Every third Wednesday of the month, the Old Lions roar, buck up for a kid in need, chart new speedlanes to help the school that had a hand in helping their parents form their lives and plan the annual banquet, decal drive and the golf outing.

These meetings tale place at the venerable Father Perez Knights of Columbus Hall. Father Perez is located at 422 W 111th St, Chicago, IL . In my youth the Knights met at a hall at 84th & Ashland and that was the site where young guys joined 16" softball teams, bowling leagues and waited to come of age Catholic gentlemen.The value imparted in home, reinforced in the parishes and the high schools of the south side were honed like a great set of Swiss knives.  The KCs actively sought out the means and manpower to protect the unborn, help struggling families through acts of charity and encourage Catholic worship - 'Hey, spend more time with you wife an kids, a little less at the Sea Breeze lounge and here and get to Mass, Hickey, you're a mess.'

Our Church was the stronger because of the Knights, in my opinion. Today, fewer young people get active and that is a shame.

The Father Perez Council seems to be more vital than many other benevolent associations, including other KC Councils. The Knights at Perez have long made their facility open to the Leo Alumni Association.

The meetings of the Alumni Association always begin with the sad litany of recently departed Leo Men, followed by prayers.  President Larry Lynch took over duties from Dan Stecich in February and the transition is smoother than an Ed Joyce '70 pick up line at Leo Dance in the Sixties.  Ed was slicker than snot on a doorknob - still is.

The Minuets of the previous meeting is called for a vote and after the more veteran Alums like President Emeritus Rich Furlong, Don Hogan, or Bob Sigel ask for clarity on a statement or typo.  The minuets are approved and seconded - always by Jack Benedek '67.

Leo High School, represented by President McGrath, VP Mike Holmes, or yours truly, reports on the activities at the school. Last night, I requested some immediate help for a Leo senior whose mother had just been laid off, passed my Irish Shandon cap, which was much too shallow, transfered the cash to a larger vessel and counted several hundred dollars, which President will give to the boy's mother today.

My report included

  • Senior college acceptances - every graduating senior has been accepted to solid colleges including teh United States Coast Guard Academy, Loyola, St. Joe's in  Rensselaer, Northern Illinois, University of Illinois & etc.
  • Leo chess team captain and Catholic League Champion Dexter Dale honored at City Hall
  • Big Shoulders Fund lend a shoulder day with 80 Price Waterhouse interns
  • Loyola University Aruppe College two year program
  • St. Patricks Day March
  • Chicago Blackhawks visit to Leo
  • Q & A on plans for the future

The questions are always of the  " How can we help?" variety.

President Larry Lynch calls for a report from the various commitees taskled with selling tables or tickets for events.  Then we close with a prayer and "The Bar is Open!"

The Alumni always have hot trays loaded with good eatin' treats - last night was Italian Beef and St. Joseph sweets table.

God Bless all Knights and every Leo Man!

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Chicago Police My Favorite Variety of Human Beings

This past Sunday was  the South Side Irish Parade.  I attend Mass at a cousin's house in Beverly before the step-off as has been the Hickey Family custom from earliest days of parade's history. Mass is always followed by a magnificent Irish Breakfast and a tribal jaw-fest.  This year I had an appointment in suburban Oak Park and pulled " a Murphy" at Communion.   I had parked my car strategically at 99th & Oakley for an easy egress to the Dan Ryan.  As is my custom, I gabbed with the people working to make the parade a success.  I met two young CPD Heroes on east side of Western Avenue. They said it was their first South Side Irish detail and wanted to know a good place to eat. I ponted out Fox's Beverly Pub and assured them of a fine feed and a most attentive staff of Friends of The Blue.
Down the street across from Tom Gibbons' Town Liquors. I had the pleasure of these three sons of Chicago's Northside One a Luther North Alum, another a St. Pat's graduate and third young guy the tallest of the three a CPS scion of Sullivan High School.  I toldthis trio of heroes that I get a store of great yarns and jokes from the Homicide Detectives who live near me and wanted to return the favor. 

Mike Houlihan, a guy named Brian and Pulitzer Prize winning Chicago Tribune writer Bill Crawford

I told them a yarn picked up from Chicago's Rennaissance Man - Film Maker, radio host, author and with Michael Houlihan

" A very troubled man went to his doctor and told him ' Doc, I think I am losing my mind.  My boss told me to get help.

The man with the caduceus gave him a look of genuine concern and asked, 'What's the problem, Sport?'

' Doc, for no good reason I blurt out WHAT"S NEW PUSSYCAT?'  I was in a meeting of mortgage brokers last week and while I reported on quartley home sales in Indiana . . .I  bluted out again WHAT"S NEW PUSSYCAT? My boss said I'm Losing my mind. Tell me, Doc, what is going on with me.'

The Son of Hermes, Mr. MD, smilked knowingly and replied 'You have what we in the medical profession call Tom Jones Syndrome.'

The worried man seemed assured somehow, ' Is that pretty common.'

The doctor shouted ' IT"S NOT UNUSUAL!'

The cops loved it.  I love cops.