The Sun Times - Chock Full of Ironies! Even in Endorsing Their Fatuous Dopes, Sun Times manages to blow off the toes of those they love!
The other day The Sun Times endorsed the Uriah Heep of Illinois Politics - The Terror of Tiny Town Himself, Mike Quigley, to fill Rahm Emmanuel's seat - with plenty of room to spare!
'Issues aside, what's perhaps most refreshing about Quigley is, oddly, his lack of political charm.
He doesn't exactly light up a room. Or even smile much. . . .Quigley is, in his own way, part of the same wave.A true instrument for change. Send him to Congress.'
'What is most refreshing about this blind date I have picked out for Damian is her almost complete lack of hygene and disdain for social convention - Why, Man, this morbidly obese girl -Farmers on the sidewalk, when her nasal passages get congested! She is utterly charming in the way she guzzles Louisiana Hot Sauce Frappes! Her scent is reminiscent of Old Chicago - the Stockyards in August or Gary, Indiana when war productivity was at its peak! Enchantingly Offensive!'
The Sun Times offers the voters of the 5th District its GIGI in Mike Quigley!
A True Instrument for Change -A Real Tool of Permutation! Send Quigley . . . Somewhere he will not get stepped on!'
Congress, a land of pygmies, might just be the place.