Picking up my Daughter from her flight to O'Hare from Boston was a hoot. God, I do so love waiting at O'Hare. The American Airlines Flight 1087 was delayed handsomely and O'Hare Terminal was leaking like my basement. Tunnels from Pedways to the Hilton were flooded and maintenance crews were placing Yellow plastic PISO MOJADOs all over the joint.
I ran into Officer Al Hartigan* from St. Cajetan's Parish performing his offices with quiet and gracious good humor - 'THEY LOST MY BAGS!!!!!; Where's the Phone that Brings Shuttles to You?; Gate 3? Gate 3? Are you deaf? Gate 3?; Is this O'Hare? How Come my Bags Say ORD?; Pick up my Bags and get them on the Cart? Where's Mayor Daley's Lounge?'
I ( were I Officer Hartigan) would have pulled my service revolver and shot and killed ( reloaded and emptied another cylinder) each one of the over-dressed Botoxed, middle-aged Denver De-Planing Women -Harpies One and All who demand that Officer Hartigan watch their bags while they went into the Hilton 'for twenty minutes.' All this despite the repeated - Homeland Security Alert is Orange - Any Unattended Bags - Report to the nearest Chicago Police Officer.' These 'unattended bags' needed cavity searches - badly.
Yet, with quiet good humor Officer Al Hartigan, CPD soldiered on.
I also met the Salasa* family from Garfield Ridge. Hector worked for Cook County until last November - he is not a cousin of Todd Stroger. While Officer Al peeled off to check on Terminal 2, Hector and I played with his two year old daughter Mia whose head of hair had more curls than $1,500 Irish Step-Dancer wigs that parents shell out for Competition. Mia is a hard core peek-a-boo player and kicked my fat, wrinkled, pale Irish ass at each gambit. She invariably 'I Saw Me'd!' I am slow.
Following that humiliation my spirits soared as the delicate and diminutive frame of the Junior Senator from Illinois flapped his black cashmere topcoat tails at Hector and me, like a baby Starling fallen from the nest, while his tall athletic and handsome green wool topcoated body guard/go-fer Blue Toothed demands to know at what Gate Senator Burris Car would appear by magic and design.
Grinning like a guy who pee'd on my carpet at my party several years ago and attempting to Puppy-Nose-Nudge forgiveness - you know the look, folks - Senator Burris professionally ignored me and Hector! He had a car at Gate Three! His Go-fer was off for the bags!
Yes! I love the way Burris*** hissed out the 'Yes!' at the City Club of Chicago a few days ago. The guy is a cartoon character and I hope and pray that he remains our Senator for the full two years. We, Illinois voters, really need our noses rubbed in this Burris/Blag Business.
Welcome, back home, Senator! What the Hell are you doing here?
Forty Minutes later, Nora's plane landed. Hector's guests arrived from Puerto Rico. Curly Headed Mia was wiped out and sleeping in her stroller. Officer Al Hartigan was still beset by 'Take my Bags! and Who Do I Sue?'
The rain let up; the maintenance guys had all the flooding cleaned up; and Roland Burris will be our Senator for two more years! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!
* The Officer Hartigan's name has been changed by slight vowel movements - does that sound right?
** Hector's Family name sounds like Salasa.
*** You CAN NOT Make up stuff about Roland Burris!
The son of embattled Illinois Democratic Senator Roland Burris was hired five months ago to a $75,000 a year job under then-Governor Rod Blagojevich.
The Chicago Sun-Times reports Roland Burris II is a senior counsel for the state's Housing Development Authority. That agency's mission includes overseeing mortgage programs for low-income home buyers and anti-foreclosure initiatives.
The interesting thing is Burris II got the job six weeks after the IRS slapped a $34,000 lien on him and three weeks after a mortgage company filed a foreclosure suit on his Chicago home.
Illinois State Republican Rep. Jim Durkin of Western Springs says the fact that Burris faces foreclosure but is working at a housing-related state agency "reeks of hypocrisy."