Saturday, February 21, 2009

Illinois Junior U.S. Senator Ellis Albert Swearingen ( if Burris Quits Get the Real Deal)

Illinois Governor Pat Quinn -

Ladies and Gentleman, after an exhausting search over the last fifteen minutes, I have determined to appoint a temporary U.S. Senator to replace my friend of many years Roland Burris.

Senator Burris's score of days as Junior Illinois Senator do him credit.

Everyone with a silken vested interest in anything and especially those people who see an opportunity to make a great deal of money have co-opted the Illinois and National press for a Special Election. It's Progressive -Grassroots!

I am the Man who mowed his lawn when George Ryan hired illegal Swedish Immigrant Girls to cut his lawn; therefore, I want to appear to be nodding toward the Illinois Constitution.

In that spirit, I have taken nuanced approach of attempting to do both - appoint a temporary U.s Senator and Hold a Special Election - Cake and Eat It, Illinois!

My appointment as this month's second Junior Senator from Illinois - businessman and entertainment venture capitalist - Ellis 'Al' Swearingen!

( The Senator Designate Stares long and ironically at ever earnest and forthright Illinois Governor)

Senator Designate - Al Swearingen-
I wouldn't trust a man who wouldn't try to steal a little. ( longer pause as Quinn drifts)

I'm declaring myself conductor of this meeting as I have the bribe sheet.

Announcing your plans is a good way to hear god laugh.

You want a donkey's attention, you bring a f%^&ing pole down between his ears.

Change ain't lookin' for friends. Change calls the tune we dance to. Pain or damage don't end the world, or despair, or f%^&' beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man -- and give some back.

In life you have to do a lot of things you don't f%^&ing want to do. Many times, that's what the f%^& life is... one vile f%^&ing task after another.

If I bleat when I speak, it's because I've just been fleeced. Sometimes I wish we could just hit 'em over the head, rob 'em, and throw their bodies in the creek.

Governor Pat Quinn -
Thank You Al, Senator! Illinois this is a breath of fresh air! Temporary of Course! Until The Peoples Election! The Special Peoples Election for Jan Schakowsky! I mean hey! Jan Schakowsky* wants her raps - she was all over Blago all Summer and fall! Jan wants to fungo some out to Left Field! Fresh Air People! This is Illinois! I mean - Fair is Fair and Jan wants to abuse and insult some of 'The Help' on the Senate Side of Congress! That's what SEIU and the Boiled Beets Progressives Demand! It is what the Sun Times would do!

At the time, I made it very clear that Senator Burris should not have accepted the appointment from former Governor Rod Blagojevich. The Illinois State Legislature and Governor Quinn could put this all to rest by calling for a special election to allow the people of Illinois to decide who will serve out the 22 remaining months in President Obama's unexpired senate term. Under the 17th Amendment, the Governor has a right to end the temporary term at any time and call for a special election. Whether or not Senator Burris resigns, the best way to put credibility back into the process is through a special election.
Jan Schakowsky - Really, really, really, really wants this Senate Seat! I'll bet Fitzy has her and Convict Bob Creamer on tape saying so! Tee-hee.

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