Monday, November 09, 2009

Dan Lipinski! Thou Gleeking Flap-mouthed Foot-licker

Illinois Congressman Dan Lipinski flipped off every voter in the Democratic 3rd District with his vote on the idiotic Health Care Bill in the House of Representatives on Saturday.

A Cynical Dan might offer - 'Hey, I had to vote that way and show sodilarity with President Obama as ILLINI! You know Rahm would have been all over me like a cheap suit and besides the Senate will kill this."

However, Baggage Dan the Overhead Carry-on Commando of Congress is no cynic and neither are most of my neighbors. They have yellow-ribbons on the trees of blocks where kids serve in our Military; pray on their knees; mean what they say and do; line 103rd Street for the Funeral of Jared Stanker* and vote their hearts.

Dan Lipiniski's vote was an insult to the 3rd District. While south siders have no trouble returning insult with injury, we can always brush up on our Shakepeare!

I found a great site that offer thousands of opportunities to make a colorful invective and confound the crumbs. Try these combinations when writing or Speaking to Congressman Alamo Dan Lipinski - Our Congressional Baggage Handler!

Shakespearean Insults -Mix 'Em and Match 'Em for Alamo Dan!

Here are 125,000 Shakespearean Insults, thou mammering hedge-born gudgeons.
To construct a Shakespearean insult, combine one word from each of the three columns below, and preface it with "Thou":

artless base-court apple-john;
bawdy bat-fowling baggage;
beslubbering beef-witted barnacle;
bootless beetle-headed bladder;
churlish boil-brained boar-pig;
cockered clapper-clawed bugbear;
clouted clay-brained bum-bailey;
craven common-kissing canker-blossom;
currish crook-pated clack-dish;
dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole;
dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb;
droning doghearted codpiece;
errant dread-bolted death-token;
fawning earth-vexing dewberry;
fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon;
froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench;
frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill;
gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker;
goatish fly-bitten fustilarian;
gorbellied folly-fallen giglet;
impertinent fool-born gudgeon;
infectious full-gorged haggard;
jarring guts-griping harpy;
loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig;
lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast;
mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger;
mangled hell-hated joithead;
mewling idle-headed lewdster;
paunchy ill-breeding lout;
pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie;
puking knotty-pated malt-worm;
puny milk-livered mammet;
qualling motley-minded measle;
rank onion-eyed minnow;
reeky plume-plucked miscreant;
roguish pottle-deep moldwarp;
ruttish pox-marked mumble-news;
saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook;
spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg;
spongy rude-growing pignut
surly rump-fed puttock
tottering shard-borne pumpion
unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
vain spur-galled scut;
venomed swag-bellied skainsmate;
villainous tardy-gaited strumpet;
warped tickle-brained varlet;
wayward toad-spotted vassal;
weedy unchin-snouted whey-face;
yeasty weather-bitten wagtail;

*"Remember Jared as a precious, loved and loveable person who was committed and devoted to God, family and county," his uncle Bob Stanker said during his nephew's eulogy.
The thousands of people lining the sidewalks and spilling into the street fell silent today when the convoy of police cruisers, motorcycles, limousines, a hearse and cars carrying friends and family started its slow procession down 103rd Street.
Men wiped tears from their eyes and mothers clutched their children a little tighter. Veterans stood at attention while others placed their hands over their hearts.
Most didn't know Stanker. Yet up and down the streets and in the surrounding neighborhoods, they talked as if the Evergreen Park man was one of their own.
"The kid gave up his life for us, the least we could do is come out here and stand up to give support to the family," said Tim Burns, of Oak Lawn.,stanker-funeral-1107.article

No comments: