Chicago's Park District will open five (5) Beaches to Surfing.
That will be swell and gratifying for the girls, daisies and dandies. However, real men -19th Ward Variety will continue to make their own Tsunami's on the Cal-Sag Canal and the Mighty Calumet River riding the back of the noble bullhead fish (photo above).
With decades of toxic wastes invigorating the species, men and more than a few lesbians have harnessed the power of Darwinian Increase by leathering up a harness for mansized rides on hungry bullheads. The torpedo has not been built to match the full dorsal power this Fin-Igan's Wake!
Charlie Olson and I tried Bullhead Riding on the Kankakee River but the damn water was too clean and fresh and we crushed the life out of the poor fish by hopping on - that's no sport. Nope, the Calumet or the Cal-Sag are the only toxic water rodeos for real men with a lust for danger, yet see the spark of loving grace in Nature's Bounty - no matter how filthy that Bounty gets to be!
I have gotten away from the cares and woes of this Vale of Tears for a few precious hours by taking the old harness down to the Calumet River, when I lived in Griffith, Indiana and now the Cal-Sag.
I bait up liversausage and onion sandwich onto the lure pole and off we go - Just me and and Old Ameiurus Melas knifing a causeway of water down the center of Cal-Sag that washes over the docks and levies! Wetsuit Be-Damned and Hair ( widow's peak really) awash in the browney foam of the Cal-Sag!!!!
Let the girls surf! The Men will be BullHeading the Cal-Sag!