Obama Boffo as Queeg & O'Reilly Delivers in McCain Mutiny on Factor

O'Reilly:
The witness is understandably
agitated. I request a recess.


Obama:
I don't want a recess.

O'Reilly:
- Did you conduct such a search?
- Yes.

Obama:
My disloyal friends failed me,
and the key couldn't be found.


O'Reilly:
wasn't this whole fuss
over a quart of strawberries?

Obama:
The pilfering of food is a very
serious occurrence on board a ship.

O'Reilly:

You were told that the mess boys
ate the berries. There was no key.


Obama:

The key was not imaginary. I don't
know anything about the mess boys.

O'Reilly:

Have you no recollection of
a conversation with William Ayers?

Didn't he tell you that
the mess boys ate the strawberries?


Obama:

I remember he was grateful
for his community grant. His wife was nuts.

O'Reilly:

Do you know
where he is now?


He's in Chicago. He can be flown
up here in three hours if necessary.


- Shall we have him testify?

Obama:
- No, I ... ( takes two stell balls from the pocket of his Aramani jacket and rolls them throughout the interview)

I don't see any need of that.

Now that I recall, he might have
said something about mess boys.

I questioned many men, and Ayers
was not the most reliable Democrat.

O'Reilly:

The defence has no other recourse
than to produce William Ayers.

Obama

There's no need for that.
He'll only tell you lies.


All the candiates were disloyal.
They were always fighting me.

If the crew wanted their
shirt-tails out, they'd let them.


Take the tow line ...
defective equipment.


But they began spreading wild
rumours about steaming in circles, -


- and then "Old Yellowstain". I was
to blame for McCain's incompetence. ( rolls up a storm here!)


McCain was the perfect candidate,
but not Barack.


But the strawberries,
that's where I had them.


I proved with geometric logic that a
duplicate key to the icebox existed.


I could have produced that key. They
were protecting some candidate...


Naturally, I can only cover
these things from memory.


If I've left anything out,
just ask me specific questions -


- and I'll be glad to answer them
one by one.


O'Reilly -

Tomoorow! Don't miss Part Trois of our series of Masterpiece Theatre with Senator Barack Obama - Live from Community Orgainizer's Playhouse - On the No Spin Zone!

Cut! Cut!!!! Cut!!!!! God Damn it!!! I'll read the script! I'll write the script ! We Off? Oh That's just great!!!