Saturday, September 13, 2008

McCain/Palin: Eric Zorn's EZ Guide to Why Progressives Are Such Pencil Neck Geeks! - Palin Talks Funny!

Hot on the heals of Joan Walsh's Salon piece that attempts to imply that Governor Sarah Palin pronounced 'Nuclear' as 'Nucular' Chicago Tribune's Size 7 1/2" Collar and Original Thinker Eric Zorn* gets hot under his tiny suburban collar!

In her first tough TV interview, GOP veepee nominee Sarah Palin several times referred to "nucular" weapons instead of "nuclear" weapons.

We fussy people cringe at this the way we cringe when we hear people say "ek-setera" and "liberry."
( Intrusive Narrator Hickey" Kick 'em in the Nuts! Gouge out their Eyes! Harrumph!) . . .
But at least three former U.S. Presidents -- Dwight Eisenhower, Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton -- said "nucular" from time to time, and, of course, "nucular" has become virtually a trademark for George W. Bush. ( Intrusive Narrator - Note Eric's uses of The Progressive Smarm or the Ass Kicking Insurance)

Language experts tell us the reason "nucular" seems right to many speakers (and has even become an accepted pronunciation due to how common it's become) is that hundreds of English words end in "yoo-lar" --vascular, molecular, jocular and so on -- while very few end in the "lee-ar" -- cochlear and nuclear may be about it.

Is this a big deal? Obviously not. But Sarah Palin's handlers seemed to have thought so: In the script of her speech to the Republican convention, they spelled out the word phonetically for her: ( Instrusive Narrator: Did Michael Sneed write this last? Hmmmm? Lift 'Em? Print 'Em! Cash 'Em)

We're going to lay more pipelines {and] build more new-clear plants...Terrorist states are seeking new-clear weapons
Oh, Mercies Abounding! Did she Rah-lley Say That? Kewl - She So Whit Trosh! Murial Clair! That's So Not Kewl!'
Yep, and Progressives wonder why they can not get a like-minded fuss-budget elected anywhere more than 300 yards West of Lake Michigan.

Eric, my pencil necked pal, Governor Palin also pronounces herself to be a HAWKEY MAWM!

Eric, no one of the thousands of people in my neighborhood( Morgan Park/Beverly/Mt. Greenwood,TN) own a 'living room' - they all invite one another into THE FrunChroom. ' Tess, where's your Old Man?'
'In The Frunchroom layin' on the floor in his shorts watching the Sox at Comiskey ( Joan Cusack notwithstanding!).

Kids leave their bikes in the Gangway. A greenscape is a PRAYER-EE. Baptist, Jewish, Muslim and Atheist kids from Sutherland or Clissold Public schools will tell auslanders and reporters that they live in St. Barnabas, Caj-Uh Tens ( St. Cajetan) er Fisher ( St. John Fisher).

Eric we embrace diversity. Why is it that Progressives mock the richness and cultural rainbow that is our Global Village? Really. Eric Zorn and your sock-puppets really nail Governor Palin on the Issues!

Sarah Palin talks funny and has a Downs Syndrome Baby that she did not Abort. Sic her, Cupcake!

Hey, give Joanie Walsh of Salon her props. She called out Sarah Palin for all of you Original Thinkers!

* Ballad of the Progressive ( by Fred Blassie)
Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said, "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek."

Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck."
Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck.
And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak,
It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek."

You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead,
Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head,
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,
You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek.

Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak,
scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique.
He's a one man, no gut, losing streak.
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek.

Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town.
You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down.
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,
Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick.

One day we cut one up for fish bait.
Learned our lesson just a little bit late.
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.


Most any night you know where I can be found.
Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground.
So keep the faith, 'cause in Blassie you can trust,
I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust.


They say these geeks come a dime a dozen.
I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplyin' the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
grit eatin',
scum suckin',
boot lickin',
drop kickin',
gut grindin',
nail bitin',
glue sniffin',
scab pickin',
butt scratchin',
egg hatchin',
pepper bellied,
dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek.

Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.


Ray said...

He is a total local geek and I've told him as much right to his phony face as our paths cross often in this town and the only reason he still writes is they need nimrods like him to espouse their worldviews in the local papers,

He can barely show his face in public except for places like NWestern and UIC.

colecurtis said...

These type of a'holes Mistah Pat are beneath the zero that we already know that they are. Their own insecurities are why they set around on their cans making fun of other people. Take my anglish(english)fer(for) example. Whut(what)I meun(mean) by anglish is whut me un(and)all my naybors(neighbors)speak. Why an egg is an aag(that is with the long a)and and a leg is a laag and a worm(used for fishing)is a warm. Send your Pencil Neck Geeks on down here to L.A.(Lower Alabama)and let im(them) try and currect(correct)air(our)anglish and see what it gits im. Y(Why)wur(we are)theum(them) God Feerin(fearing) gun totin(toting)rapublicans(Republicans)that all theum(them)Democrats are so sceered(scared)of. Down here if we like you ,we love you and if we hate you, God help you.