Showing posts with label Urban Foodies and Hipster Doofii. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Urban Foodies and Hipster Doofii. Show all posts

Friday, December 09, 2016

Bruce Dold Tribune Fake News Pillories Woman for A Month - Here Is How to Handle Offensive People

When Black Friday comes
I'm gonna dig myself a hole
Gonna lay down in it 'til
    I satisfy my soul -   SteelyDan

 . . . decades before Shakespeare wrote Macbeth in the early 1600s“dudgeon” was being used to mean a feeling of anger or resentment. OED

Most read stories this hour
Woman berates Michaels workers in Chicago in rant caught on video
BREAKING NEWS Novemeber 29, 2016
Woman berates Michaels workers in Chicago in rant caught on video
Jessie Grady walked into a Michaels store last week in Chicago to buy a Santa hat for her young daughter. She ended up witnessing — and filming — another customer's "unprovoked attack" in which the woman unloaded on black Michaels employees, claiming she was being discriminated against and declaring...
Bruce Dold's Chicago Tribune December 9, 2016


One woman is menacing Chicago.  She is not an Alpha Female, ripped, tattooed androgynous Marvel Comics paragon with bad wiring.  She is small and seems rather timid, until our $15 an hour barristas, or checkout person makes the mistake of punching that invisible button which causes unfiltered, mean-spirited words and tones to gush from her modest frame.

Citizen Journalists have made life hell for a person who has caused only a checkout person to be showered with GoFundMe largesse.  The woman, whom I will not name, because other citizen journalists with hyper- elevated levels of High Dudgeon* and room temperature I.Q.s have cyber-bullied the young woman enough. There are much worse and more dangerous people out there, racist or not. Many are repeat offenders.Image result for high dudgeon man High Dudgeon works for NPR types and other comfortable afflictors and they never get enough.

Enough is not a feast!  Bruce Dold gorges away High Dudgeon and he is  editor of a great daily metropolitan newspaper.

The Chicago Tribune's website has taken down stories of rapists, killers, gunmen, grifters and frauds with exacting efficiency in the name of journalism, once the news has passed a few days.  Like the Laquan McDonald shooting at the time it happened, or when Rev. Jesse Jackson threatened to cut the nuts off of President Obama.

Not so the Michael's Menace Maid. 

DNAinfo, The Daily Mail, IGBTNation, Root, Heavy, Facebook and The Chicago Tribune of Bruce Dold  introduced the Menace on November 29th as a Trump Supporter.

A few weeks before an admitted Trump Supporter was beaten and car-jacked on the West Side,  High Dudgeon began to boil in need of a proper response to the heartbreak of Trump and all that it means to Bruce Dold and others.

Black Friday arrived and allowed pent of High Dudgeon to flow like river!

It is weeks since the poor woman went viral on the cashier, but the Chicago Tribune of Bruce Dold maintains the pillory so it stays fresh in the vapid minds of people who need a good jolt of artificial outrage and High Dundgeon.

In the normal world, populated by people of all races, creeds and colors who are far too busy taking care of life, a person's public bad manners gets confronted in a manner that sets things right.

Years ago, 1993 I believe, my wife and I drove up from Kankakee to have dinner at the original Maple Tree Inn owned and managed by the late Charlie Orr.  Maple Tree Inn was one of the very first Cajun restaurants in Chicago and home to the great jazz stylings of the King Fleming Trio.
Image result for charlie orr maple tree
Charlie hired great wait staff.  He hired a young Irish immigrant girl and on her first day, serviced a table full of Chicago Reader foodies.  The Reader has always been a hipster, in-crowd source for all knowledge.  This table of Yuppies, as the era-tagged them, were loud and needy.  The Irish girl served them with speed and cheerful efficiency.  Mary and I were seated a few feet from their table. One smarmy creep ate like he was going to the chair, talking at the top of his voice and his maw full of catfish, and beefed about how 'inauthentic' his blackened catfish tasted.  He began to abuse the waitress, to the delight of all an sundry in this happy circle of jerks.
Image result for blackened catfish
The girl asked if she could get him something else.  "What? and wait another twenty minutes?  Are all of you this stupid?  Who is cooking in there? He is no Cajun."

The girl burst into tears.

The table laughed, like the Chicago Tribune editorial board must have, when Ald. O'Reilly demanded that Bully Trump signs get taken down.

Charlie Orr burst onto the scene.  He had been meeting with King Fleming in the Cavern-like basement bar and Kevin the Chef from Louisiana had sent word of the table of shit-heels.

" Charlie had a great Walrus like mustache and smiled like the Beatific Vision itself.  He greeted Mary and me warmly and asked us to stick around for the jazz and a few Steinlagers. He excused himself and warmed the offending table with his Ward Bond of a grin.

" Hello, I am the owner.  Did you like the food?"

Silence.

" My chef served on an Oil Rig as cook and worked under Paul Prudhomme for six years.  I buy fish at Fulton market every morning.  This little girl started this evening and you made her cry.  Now, ( very pregnant pause) Leave what is on your plates and GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY PLACE!"

The Maple Tree Inn was packed and roared with applause and shouts of 'Here! Here!'

The pack of shit heels skulked out.

Today, people record, lawyer up and team up with the News Media - detested by normal people everywhere.

Citizen journalists are becoming as big a set of creeps as Real Journalists, Editors and other merchants of High Dudgeon.

If you are really offended say something and be willing to take a punch in the chops.  Chances are you will not need to accept a blow, because abusive people are generally cowards, or damaged people. You can say something on the spot - Or you can use your phone camera , record and skulk away like a shit-heel.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Check, Please ? I Think Not. The Epic Crime of Dine and Dash Should be on Public Television

We are soooo not paying!

Instead of self-absorbed, affluent and very transient Urban Foodies( Like these mimosa sucking cretins below) and scions of old Kenya who sleep in the White House, Chicago's own public television should produce a show with real bust-outs, louts, rum-pots and deadbeats from the Rainbow of Gender who beat the check. 
I have watched Check, Please on PBS ( WTTW - Wilmette Talking to Winnetka) whenever the paint had dried, or the grass had yet to rise above my thick and manly calf and been thoroughly repulsed by smarmy, self-important, thumb-dummy handlers of I-phones who send back orders and sniff Mogan David and Chateauneuf du Pape with matching contempt and yet complain that " This beer is nowhere near Hoppy Enough!"  Every time I watch PBS programming I get that old feeling. That now is the time for the all-too-human rubber band that holds our sanity together to go boink and then grab the Bowie knife, my sling shot and burlap bag full of ball bearings( I hate guns) and go hunting for Urban Adventurers in Lincoln Park, Lincoln Square and only a small sections of Logan Square and  Hyde Park as well as portions my own neighboring Beverly.  Wicker Park, Ukrainian Village are populated by young, hip and generally cynical young 'uns who can't stand PBS/WTTW either. Closer to home folks in Morgan Park, Mount Greenwood and all of Black Chicago seem populated with patriots and people of prayerful good sense.

I would love to see Dine and Dash Chicago.  Just recently the Northwest Indiana Times reported on a Chicago Cub Jersey festooned . . .(what's the word I am looking for . . .wait, wait; don't tell me) . . .lummox who beat Buffalo Wild Wings of Porter out of a ound personal gorging  and guzzling that totaled a little more than Half a Yard.
PORTAGE | Police are seeking the public's help identifying a suspect in multiple dine-and-dash incidents.
Police on Thursday released a photo of a man they said failed to pay his bill Aug. 13 at Buffalo Wild Wings, 6530 U.S. 6.
Police said he failed to pay for $51.67 worth of food and drinks.
Police said the man in the photo wearing a Cubs jersey has used the name Terry at the restaurant.Anyone with information is asked to contact Detective Cpl. Ted Uzelac at (219) 764-5707.
Imagine, a thirty minutes long weekly docu-drama with real people empaneled to present and discus their experiences of cheating bartenders, waiters, waitresses and restaurant owners out of tips and purchases!

Our host could be a toothsome young gusher from Lincoln Park who would chirp. 'Tonight,  we, . . . Ah,. . . some random, Ah, . . . You now Okay dashers.  Tim originally from MacMansionland Naperville and now stays in McKinley Park will tell us about beating the check at Tufano's Vernon Park Tap.  Tim, you, ah, just got of Ok, . . .Illinois Rehab . . .but had a Um great meal?  Right? "

Tim,  a soul patched and tattooed Occupy Chicago veteran and  hipster living in McKinley Park, because Bridgeport is so 2010, is wearing a colorful and thick Heavy wool Toque and 'I Love Spam' t-shirt under and open flannel ginoormous-checked shirt, replies" It was, So kind.  I started with eight Blue Moons at the bar, 'cuz they make you wait, and I told this old lady that I had stuff to do later and she was all like 'Sinatra waits; you wait.' whatever and this random guy like a cop says to mind my manners or he'll give a slap and I'm like 'that's harsh!' So, then the old lady says, I can sit done, but I've had seven Blue Moons and I said - "Hey I'm enjoying my cocktails." The cop-like guy, probably from Homan Square and up for going all Burge and Gitmo on me gets up and I'm like 'Okay!'  So, I get a table near these breeders and their kids which is cool, because it's always better to have a crowded place to beat the check and I get another old lady who says 'What can I get you?' and I'm like '2016 Pitchfork Passes, Granma!'  Not cool I guess but I order a bottle of Layer Cake Primitevo and the fried calamari, two orders of pizza bread and salad. Then I got the Tufano's Lemon Chicken and potatoes. Now, I'm stuffed and buzzed.  I got cannoli to go. Now, this is sweet.  I get up and pretend to go to the toilet and stand there like some old dude is like still in there and so I go stand next to cop guy at the bar, like I'm interested in the sports game hockey, or something and wave to an imaginary guy I know near the door and shout, " Dude! This place is Sweet!' and act like I'm going to shake his hand and then out the door.

Chirpy, the half-wit daughter of an Obama bundler from Evanston, squeals, " Sweet! What a total scam.  But tell us what followed."

Tim, feigns bashful, " This  huge dude parking cars grabs me and tosses me in the street and shouts that I'm like lucky this neighborhood gentrified, cuz if it had been twenty years ago at The Sisters, or the Nut House I 'd be in a sewer in pieces and then he gets all harsh-up on me and then I'm like in Illinois Rehab and a dude from Peoples Law Office files a wrongful beat-down suit against them and tells me I should score big when they get the right judge. Whatever."

Yep, that would be sweet and so 2015 Chicago.

The next guests - Alderman Proco Joe Moreno and CPS CEO Forrest Claypool.