Two men from Custer Park, Illinois were arrested on suspicion of being recruited by Islamic State of Iraq and Syria ( and the Levant) ISIS(L).
Dwanne Burhop (45) and Dale 'Critter' Poissons-Croc (44) of Custer Park, Il claim that they only volunteered to enlist in the army of Islamic States of Iraq and Syria ( and the Levant) because the guy speaking on the toll free number mentioned Free Ice. Burhop took the call at Custer's Keg, when the owner asked him to watch the bar, while he grabbed a smoke outside,Homeland Security has determined that the jug-line fishermen were not an existential threat; however, Dale 'Critter' Poisson-Croc is still under investigation for hate-crime speech and thought by yet-Attorney General Eric Holder, who is personally reviewing 'This Cracker's Hateful Soul." Poisson-Croc termed the membership of the Wilmington Rod and Gun Club "Faggots" and he did not mean bundles of kindling, nor underclassmen in an English boarding school.
Both men were release into the custody of economist Brian Wesbury.* Wesbury fully intends to make sure that Burhop and Poisson-Croc avoid future use telephones, as the Kankakee River Naturalists had been taken into custody for answering the phone at Custer's Keg and mistaking the ISIS(L) for an ice-philanthropist. Burhop told Reuters, or Rooters, or whatever, " We been keeping our cans of Red, White and Blue cool in the river and we eat everthing that comes our way on the spot. These last few weeks the beers freeze. It makes sense to get free ice. The damn Federal lawyers don't see it that way - needed us some ice.Man said, " Free Ices" so we're in."
He repeated that claim upon release. " Man said Free Ice-es. O........Kay?? What'ld any one do? We said we're in!"
Wesbury is a graduate of Northwestern University and therefore can be counted to be 'nuanced.'
He is also a superb Jug-line fisherman and avid drinker of sub-Premium domestic beers. He will shack with the two until Homeland Security is satisfied. Homeland Security is always 'satisfied' with the best intentions of inebriated motorist on the Dan Ryan slowing down to 15MPH at the sight of a State Police roller.
Wesbury had this to say, "Pundits have a bottomless reservoir of pessimism and also a magnified ability to extrapolate the most recent trends. So, when Q1-2014 real GDP fell at an annual rate of 2.1%, fear turned rampant."
Poissant-Croc was non-plussed. Burhop has yet to go on record regarding Mr. Wesbury's stewardship,
Extrapolate. Cool. Now without jumping to no conclusions. . .this story will develop some.
* Brian S. Wesbury (born September 8, 1958) is an American economist focusing on macroeconomics and economic forecasting. He is the economics editor and a monthly contributor for The American Spectator, a conservative political magazine, in addition to appearing on television stations such as CNBC, Fox Business, Fox News,and Bloomberg TV frequently. He is a member of the Academic Advisory Council of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago, and for five years served as an adjunct professor of economics at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Illinois.