The way to access the halls of power is on one's belly.
Groveling before an elected, or appointed room temperature I.Q. with a nasty streak aiding and abetting a larcenous soul is the Chicago School Journalism.
No one crawls on her belly like a reptile better than Chicago Sun Times gossip, prattle, dirt, low-down, bilge and bullshit doyen Michael Sneed.
Steinberg, Brown, Spielman and Sweet are close to the nectarous nest, but they wriggle without real gusto.
Ink-slingers in this hick-burg, with the exceptions of Natalie Korecki, Tim Novak and estimable John Kass, eschew shoe leather for the blower to gain access from the narrow-foreheads at the County Building and City Hall.
So adept are these serpentine scribes, that in no times at all they, or their spouses, children, significant others find work with BGA, get a sinecure at De Paul, land a spot on the staffs of the Speaker, the Guv, the Mayor, the Leader, or the foundations that funnel the filthy lucre to the direct action social justice warriors.
Ethics? Spell it.
Andy Shaw, who could not find the microphone into which he was shouting at the Democratic Convention, when John Kerry sailed into Boston Harbor like the British Fleet and big-knocker-ed socialites wore bright pink " I Had an Abortion" T-Shirts, is now the Watchdog of the People Killing Illinois.
But Michael Sneed remains the Queen of the Nest!
Today, she offers more propaganda than a Pfleger homily at St. Sabina Faith Community with Archbishop Cupich in the big chair.
Today, we are being signaled, given a heads-up, donchanew of the latest government grift.
The TextAlyzer. Think Skyway; think Red Light Camera's, think 20MPH less than 1,000 yards from the posted 30 MPH limit.
Quoth Sneed:
It’s no secret texting and using a handheld mobile device while driving is toxic, illegal and frequently deadly.
But brake on this mobile shocker!
• To wit: According to Chicago Police Department statistics obtained by Sneed, there were only 168 Chicago traffic citations for the improper use of mobile devices in 2016 — compared with 45,672 two years earlier in 2014!
So what gives?
Pause for a breath -
YOU DO!
Sneed slithered sources swiftly!
“It seems hard to believe, but when we received these shocking statistics we were stunned,” said Ald. Edward Burke (14th), who said Chicago traffic citations and violations in 2015 had already started dropping dramatically to 26,092!
“But the dramatic dip not only went down to 168 in 2016 — but as of April 2017, only 74 have been issued!
“Something happened,” Burke said.
“We are still looking into the reason for these statistics,” a Chicago Law Department source told Sneed.
“So now we are trying to find out why the issuance of tickets for the offenses has dropped so precipitously,” Burke added.
“Whatever the reason, be assured we will correct it one way or another.”
• A national note: “It’s distressing to see what’s happening across the country,” he said. “The stats show the most frequent cause of serious traffic accidents is the use of mobile phones and texting devices while driving — so we need to revitalize the effort led four years ago by Secretary of State Jesse White to enforce these traffic laws.”
• Backshot: Burke claims he and Ald. Anthony Beale (9th) came across the shocking stats while “investigating the possibility of requiring the police to use a Textalyzer device that could determine whether a driver involved in an accident was on the phone at the time of the crash.
The buck shot? What buck?
