"We're looking for people who represent what a South Sider is," said Joan O'Connor, casting producer for O'Connor Casting Co*. No African Americans wanted! Thought I'd help there- Hope O'Connor Casting hears some feedback.
Cretins, Feebs and Dummies will line up for hours to "Represent the South Side" - Our Version of "Jersey Shore" Attitude.
Knowing that real south siders - devout, hard-working, painfully honest, fun, witty, generous and genuine people will not make the O'Connor Casting Call, I decided to represent.
Get a guy who looks like the gent above and call his abdomen - "The Alderman" Call his gut the Alderman - it's Old School for Beer Belly. Edgy.
The Devil's Dictionary
ALDERMAN
Alderman, (n.)
An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.
English Slang Dictionary v1.2
alderman
a man's pot belly
This person's diet should be subsistance level ( of a Rugby Team) stuffings of Slim Jims, Whitey-One-Bites ( White Castles), Hot Dogs from Pops on Kedzie, Old Style Beer, Jagermeister Shooters, Flaming Hotz, and Waldo Cooney's Pizza Slices.
This person should sleep during most daylight waking hours and spend the balance of the day drinking draft 'Syles in Bust-out joints ending with BrewBakers Pub on Western Ave. at about 5A.M.
He should not be capable of generating, much less uttering, an original thought and merely sputter obsenities, racial epithets, phrases and verbals laced with apologies about his days of "Playing some Ball at ( fill in a Catholic High School) " crying about Anne Marie Balzakas who took him to Maria High School's prom and ran off into the tall weeds at Marquette Park when he got all smoochy and living in Mom's basement, since Dukes of Hazzard got cancelled.
The Media will love this edgy and "reality" based concept programing, so long as this presentation of a south siider is fulfilled. Any positive portrayal would be doomed. Can't have that.
The O'Connor Casting Company sound like real champs. Real Stock cuffers, or what's the word? It's hyphenated I believe.
*
CASTING REALITY TV SHOW: ARE YOU THE NEXT "JERSEY SHORE" TYPE OF REALITY STAR?
ARE YOU THE NEXT “Jersey Shore” TYPE OF REALITY STAR?
Do you live on Chicago’s Southside?
•Are you between the ages 19-27yrs? (Irish, Latino, Italian, Polish… open to all races and nationalities)
•Do you openly celebrate your true Southside self as a true Southsider?
•Are you the GUY or GIRL who is awesome in oh so many ways?
•Are you sexy, crazy, fun, outgoing, outrageous, love to make things exciting, always up for an adventure, and a HUGE SOX fan?
•If so, then we want you, your friends, your total awesomeness.
CONTACT US NOW!
If you or someone you know fits this description, please tell them or forward on to them.
HOW TO APPLY: Email Chicago@oconnorcasting.tv
INCLUDE:
Your FULL name, contact info (phone, address, etc).
Brief description of your awesomeness and why you would be a great Reality Star. And THREE RECENT pictures of yourself.
(In an emergency, contact 312-226-9112, but email is best.)
Audition Dates: Now thru the end of March (RESPOND – SOONER THE BETTER)
Audition Location: O’Connor Casting Company, 1017 W. Washington, Suite 2a, Chicago, IL 60607
