Oh, Bitter Dicta! Sun Times Editorial Board Re-Writes St. Francis to Welcome Pope Francis

 Listen to her!  About what*, I have absolutely no clue.

St. Francis, though born to wealth and position, cared nothing for material things and even less for hierarchy or rules. Sun Times Editorial 3/14/13

Pope Francis no sooner appeared through the curtains of the Papal window above St. Peter's Square than the 40 Watt powered intellects of the Sun Times Editorial Team ( read Carol Marin) decided to do a solid for abortion - gay marriage happy and sacerdotal ordination sappy nuns.  Now, though Ms. Marin is not, per se, a member of this august opinion panel, the tracks of her tears for the protesting nuns flood this tabloid. Hence, today's Papal Marin-ade!

Too often in recent decades, the Catholic Church has been defined — and defined itself — by what it opposes in modern life. It has stood mightily against abortion. It has opposed premarital sex and all forms of contraception. It has opposed same-sex marriage.

It has opposed the ordination of women as priests. It has called on the carpet American nuns whose only offense was to look and sound a little too liberal, focusing on issues of poverty and health care rather than on abortion.

While Chicago Catholics obviously are not of one mind on such public policy issues, we suspect they share our concern that the Church should be less a “party of no” and more a force for enlightened good. (emphases my own)

Egads, Citizens!  Pope City is GOP Headquarters!

Placing the Church universal in the Carol Marinade might boost interest among Ms. Marin's legion of fan in taking a gander, in deference to the geese, at her Sun Times Video All About Carol World print and electronic app, but  it is spoiled sauce.

First of all this editorial balloon juice holds that the 13th Century mystic monk  "cared nothing for material things and even less for hierarchy or rules."

Francis of Assisi was not named Francis by Mom and Pop.   He was baptized Giovanni son of Pietro and his bride Pica:  Pete and Pica's boy Jack..  Old Pete did pretty well as a merchant.  This was the time of the Crusades, which did more for building the middle class of Europe than it did freeing Jerusalem from the Turks and like any doting Dad, Old Pete decked the kid out in some snappy duds and tossed him the keys to the charabanc, or a stallion.

So taken was opulent young Jack with the latest fashions from . . .France! . . .that Old Pete started calling the boy Frenchy, or Franchesco - "No one loved pleasure more than Francis; he had a ready wit, sang merrily, delighted in fine clothes and showy display. Handsome, gay, gallant, and courteous, he soon became the prime favourite among the young nobles of Assisi, the foremost in every feat of arms, the leader of the civil revels, the very king of frolic." Thomas of Celano

Giovanni is no different from all  regular guys universal and historical .  One of the rites of passage is having other people define you in recognition of physical traits, quirks of character, or unresolved issues in manly development - to some tepidly blooded individual that is called bullying.  A guy with a head the size of a boulder in a Gene Autry movie might be called Headsy; one with auditory appendages that give him the appearance of a Taxi speeding at you with its driver and passenger side doors open, might be the recipient of the appellation Ears. Frenchy it was; thus, it shall be.

The kid went off to the army of Assisi , which had its collective ass handed to it by Perugia and Frenchy became a POW. Being a prisoner of war, even for a well-to-do kid of privilege, wakes one up I imagine and I am sure that Franceso of the Army Assisi learned all about cold, hunger, loneliness and pain.  Old Pete eventually bought the lad out and Pete's boy returned to his roistering ways, which got the boy pretty run-down and liverish.

Frenchy slowed down his alcoholic intake, laid off the trans fatty acids and gave the bread basket a pass.With the  spare time clean living afforded him, Frenchy took to reflection, meditation and prayer.  He had changed.

He had changed so much that he decided his rather brief military dreams should allow God to turn the swords into crosses.  He would command Crusaders for the Pope - that's hierarchy by the way. Guess what Frenchy asked permission to group like minded gents, not ladies, to form up with him to help the Church. Instead of chasing skirts and busting heads in gin-mills Frenchy and his pals went about nursing lepers and eventually sold their colorful high-priced duds and bling and now sported wool tunics the color of donkeys and jackasses.  At first these guys were hooted at and verbally bullied, but managed to act in a manner that was on-the-level.  More guys wanted to good. Just like in real life.

Francis asked permission to form the Friars Minor - the little brothers; not the big shots.  They had no 13th Centiry ad men designing frescoes to tout The Frenchy Report is a fast-paced, insightful look at the day's top news from renowned Perugia POW and Veteran monk Frenchy Assisi. Watch it each weekday at noon. Instead he wrote THE RULE OF THIRD ORDER OF FRIARS MINOR!

St. Francis, though born to wealth and position, cared nothing for material things and even less for hierarchy or rules. Sun Times Editorial 3/14/13

One -Frenchy cared for material goods and services -BUt he gave them a pass.
Two -Frenchy respected authority and sought out permission from the Hierarchy
Three- He not only followed the rules; he wrote the Rules.

It seems to me that the ego-maniacal Ms. Marin bullied the balance of board into making the paper's Gaudeamus Papam an idiotic Progressivo Monialis Edictum - Rebel Nunsense.  The disident nuns are not to be confused with the real nuns.  The disident nuns are whackjobs who demand that priests be women, Catholic doctrine must be acceptable to Pope Bill Moyers and WTTW and that heart wants what the heart wants.  I never run into the dissident nuns, because I work at a Catholic school.  Dissident nuns have time on the hands. Real nuns are too busy actually doing some good.

This silly editorial demand that the Nuns be Heard! by Pope Francis.Who, Pope, Preacher, or Pimp has NOT heard the loud Ladies of Liturgical Dance?   Again, the answer will be a resounding no. A priest is a guy.  Two guys can not make a baby.  Promiscuity can not be parsed.

The dissident nun is unhappy.  She is a woman.  The Church hierarchy is guys.  For too many dissident nuns, becoming an Anglican (Episcopalian priest) is no-longer an option due to age and Unitarians do not have Nun Retirement communities.  Unhappy.

Sad to say, these unhappy women will never cheer up.

If the editorial geniuses can be so wrong about their initial premise ( Francis WAS a Rebel Marxist), imagine how wrong, silly, sad and stupid the rest of the piece can be . . .on so many levels.

 Sun Times Editorial Board? As far as I know,  the Editorial Page Editor is Tom McNamee and he has help.

 Obiter Dicta - An obiter dictum is a remark or observation made by a judge that, although included in the body of the court's opinion, does not form a necessary part of the court's decision. 

Schmich and Awwwwww! Pulitzer Howitzer Mary Schmich Fires at Mitres

   

To say that the Catholic Church is not a democracy is to state its very nature: for Catholic believers, it is the institution founded by God to implement His will on earth. For those who believe this, it is the end of the discussion. If you do not believe this, why be interested in what the church thinks or says about anything?

An interesting aspect of these discussions is the way selective interpretations of the Second Vatican Council – which the Association of Catholic Priests, for example, claims as its principal inspiration and motivation – are employed to consider matters relating to the church as though to a political party. John Waters Irish Times April 20, 2012

The sisters are stunned by the news, sad, weary, worried.

And, for public purposes, they are mostly silent. . Pulitzer Possessor Mary Schmich

It seems nuns got stunned when Pope Benedict XVI and the lads in Pope City told Catholic Nuns here in the States that they are on the wrong side of issues, as far as the Church teachings are concerned.  Some nuns prefer the Progressive, NPR, DNC, and Secular doctrines which demand abortion, that women be ordained priests and the call for a general absolution of all same-gender sexual dalliances.  Not a huge head-scratcher that, let alone a stunner. 

Navy S.E.A.Ls shoot Osamas and Somalii pirates without a reference to the M.K. Gandhi rules of engagement. I am sure that if some S.E.A.L.s were stunned to learn that killing is their vocation, they would be referred to the H & R folks at GreenPeace.

Not stunning.

I was no where near stunned with the news that Chicago Tribune columnist and Brenda Starr narrator Mary Schmich won a Pulitzer.  Mary Schmick was cited because  "Schmich's stories resonated with readers and won over the Pulitzer jury, which cited her "wide range of down-to-earth columns that reflect the character and capture the culture of her famed city."

Okay.

I always thought that of Mary Schmich as the Kathy-half of the Tribune's Eric & Kathy Show - Eric Zorn being the Eric half - you know, those e-mail terms of endearment and just plain NPR fun engagement?

Mary Schmich grabbed a Pulitzer.  God bless her.

President Obama grabbed Nobel Peace Prize after his apology tour and beer summit with a cop, because "Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future." I am not stunned when a no bid contract to a Canadian rail car company that buys wheels made in China gets a limited bit of attention, while Chicago media  wets its britches over the dead blond kid with the sport coat flipped over his shoulder, because the guy who punched him dead has Clout DNA.

The Chicago Tribune editorial board and its columnists like Eric Zorn and the always laughable religion writer Manya Brachear are firing shots at Catholics in order to keep our heads down and mouths shut.  Manya produced an idiotic report of faux outrage and a possible tax-suit against Peoria's Catholic Bishop Jenky who preached about the continued war on Faith from the Obama regime.  Manya hooked up with Huffington Post columnist and veteran Democratic operative who happens to be the regional head of the Anti-Defamation League and no less a goofball than the Rev. Barry Lynn, a mainline Bill Moyers approved parser on matters of Faith and government.

When Manya's dribblings were laughed to depths of the Trib's cyber pages, the deep thinkers trotted out a Pulitzer howitzer to fire at mitres!

Schmich and awwww!

I am only stunned when I bring home left over carrot cake from Gibson's and open the fridge to learn that it escaped my son's gullet.

Stunned nuns are a whole nuther kettle of smelt.

Let's see who's stunned . . . "Please don't quote me," one Chicago nun said after she shared her feelings Friday. "Please don't quote me."  Stunning.

Yet, again!  "It's not cowardice," said another, asking not to be named. Un-named stunned nuns.  

In Pulitzer worthy balance. Ms. Schmich names an un-stunned nun:

Not all nuns feel that way. Sister Anne Flanagan, who belongs to the Daughters of St. Paul, thinks the Vatican has a point.
"It's a signal of how important religious women are to the ministry of the church," she said. "The Vatican is saying get back on track on some of these issues; don't lose the value of what you're doing for the sake of a dream."
She admits she's in a minority

That said our 2012 Pulitzer Proprietress quotes Sr. Donna Quinn, who is more responsible for media attention than any one nun by with her helping Planned Parenthood murder more Illinois babies and bragging about it. Schmick quotes Quinn from an earlier pronouncement about condemning the Church that houses, feeds and insures Sister Quinn.

As Sister Donna Quinn of Chicago was quoted saying recently, "You cannot put the toothpaste back in the tube."

Now, that's Schmich and Awwwwww with a huge layer of WTF??????????????

You follow?

Me neither.  We don't get stunned much unless we hang around with septuagenarian contrarian nuns and when we find that left-over piece of Gibson's carrot-cake somehow escaped the maw of our twenty something sons and daughters.