I Remain a Hopeless Romantic - Best Love Song Ever

"She's dark and lovely and passionate. And very, very kind."
"And exclusive as a mailbox," I said.
---The Little Sister , by Raymond Chandler(Chapter 19)

With six days to go until the Feast of St. Valentine and Cupid's darts fall softly on the old pump, I thought that I'd offer a dandy love song to my kind of gal -"What kind of a dish was she? The sixty-cent special--cheap, flashy, strictly poison under the gravy."

The Town Of Ballybay

V 1: In the town of Ballybay there is a lassie dwelling

I knew her very well and the story is worth telling

Her father kept a still and he was a good destiller

And when she took a drink, well, the devil wouldn't fill her


Ch: With me ring a do a dum, with me ring a do a daddio

With me ring a do a dum, whack fol da daddio


V 2: She had a wooden leg that was hollow down the middle
She used to tie a string on it and played it like a fiddle
She fiddled in the hall, she fiddled in the alleyway,
She didn't give a damn, she had to fiddle anyway

Ch:

V 3: She said she couldn't dance unless she had her wellie on,
But when she had them on she could dance as good as anyone
She wouldn't go to bed unless she had her shimmy on
But when she had it on she would go as quick as anyone

Chorus:

V 4: She had lovers by the score, every Tom and Dick and Harry,
She was courting night and day, but still she wouldn't marry.
And then she fell in love with a fella with a strammer
When he tried to run away, she hit him with a hammer

Chorus:

V 5: She had childer up the stairs, she had childer in the brier,
And another ten or twelve, sat roaring by the fire
She fed them on potatoes and on soup she made with nettles
Or lumps of hairy bacon that she boiled up in a kettle

Chorus:


V 6: She led a sheltered life eating porridge and black pudding
She terrorised her man until he died right sudden
And when her husband died, she was feeling very sorry
She rolled him in a bag and she threw him in a quarry

Chorus: