You will do your work on water,
An' you'll lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got it. Rudyard Kipling
Nothing smells as bad as water-soaked newspapers. I had an uncle who saved newspapers in the corner of his basement, going back to the Mayor Edward Kelly Administration. The problem was that Tupperware technology jumped over Uncle Mossie and he kept his treasures bound in twine. Compounding that problem was the fact that Uncle Mossie's basement leaked like Congressman Mike Quigley to the Sun Times.
When Uncle Mossie shed his mortal husk, I was tasked with cleaning out the old guy's basement - the smell would gag a maggot. Decades of seepage soaked the Daily News, Chicago Sun, Herald American, Kerryman, Southtown Economist, New World and their offspring. There were no Chicago Tribunes, as the Trib was a Scab, anti-Catholic rag. Uncle Mossie was a daily Communicant and rock-solid member of the Lather's Union.
Water and newspapers don't mix, unless one is going into the Homegrown mushroom business. Worms love newspapers soaked in water.
Change of Subject!
You kids been reading Eric Zorn lately? The banjo-plucking ink-slinger Progressive columnist is knee deep in the wet-stuff. Late this summer Eric was busy lugging the garbage out for Mayor/Coach Rahm on the Garbage Grid Plan that passed with the City Budget. Eric loves the Grid!
What passes for journalism in Chicago is a person with keyboard, a phone, Blackberry, or a lot of time on his/her hands to take lunch and an elected official, activist, Good Government appointee, or unelectable appointee with a deal.
These holier-than-a- cheapskate's -undies columnists roll out the ink with the agenda leaked into their ears by the above-stated scammers.
The Catholic Church is an obstacle, or should be, to Progressives. Progressives love Abortion, government hand-outs to designated groups and individuals, Homosexual Marriage, and Public Education . . . Oh! And Taxes! Lots and Lots of Taxes forked out by the middle class helots with all of those damn children!
The Catholic Church is one big-assed mainstream faith with many, many, many members in Chicago. The Catholic Church is very visible in Chicago. The Catholic Church operates the very best schools in Chicago for no public cost to Atheists or Progressives. Catholics no longer need to be courted much less appeased about anything in Chicago.
Progressives have a vision for Chicago, a smaller, cleaner, more efficient, Green, childless, and really fun Urban Center, and that vision is taking place. The problem is getting rid of the middle class homeowners and their rotten kids. Garbage collection and water go hand-in-hand. The Garbage Collection Grid is coming, middle class Wards will be re-mapped and smart sized, and water is going to cost families a lung. It's all there in the University of Chicago Urban Planning chit-chat linked by clicking my post title.
Rahm Emanuel is the Progressive Mayor and all he needs is a water-boy. Like a good coach it seems that Coach Rahm has an energetic pencil-necked go-getter in the always dependable Eric Zorn.
Today, Eric the Water Boy continues the coach's management of water distribution and finds an easy target in Alderman Ed Burke. Alderman Burke, it seems to me, views the new water mandates to be what they are - overture for the exit of the middle class from the planned Urban Center Chicago.
Alderman Burke takes issue with the two edged sword soaked in the wet-stuff. You see not only is the water issue a dodge to squeeze the middle class out of Chicago, it is also a swell hammer to bash in the head of Cardinal George for objecting to Gay Marriage, Abortion and all of those other nasty Catholic doctrines.
I believe that taking away the free Chicago water from Catholic ( and others) Institutions is the threat by Rahm to Cardinal to lay-low until President Obama is re-elected, Gay Marriage gets enacted in Illinois, and Planned Parenthood can kill babies without being called on it
Here's the Waterboy -Eric Zorn!
And if the City Council wants to start diluting the proposal by handing out exemptions, it ought to start with institutions that don't proselytize and don't mix so many babies with so much bath water.
If they give churches favored status over charitable groups, lawsuits will be sure to follow and all the potential savings will go swirling down the drain.
This dandy imprimatur for Rahm's Water Torture came last Saturday - Saturday, October 15, 2011
He's going to get that question a lot in the coming weeks. Last week, Mayor Rahm Emanuel announced an aggressive schedule of annual water-rate hikes as he rolled out next year's city budget. The increases, he said, are necessary to pay for badly needed repairs to our aging pipes, catch basins and pumping stations.
On average, he said in his speech to the City Council, the extra cost in the first year "will equal about five cups of Dunkin' Donuts coffee a month," a clever, middle-brow way of expressing $120 (a medium cup of joe at Dunkin' Donuts is $1.96 in my Northwest Side neighborhood).
But Emanuel suggested that residents could significantly dull the pain "by switching to a free water meter, as Amy and I have done. In fact," said the mayor, "those who switch to meters will pay less next year — even with the fee increase. Let me repeat: Switching to a free water meter means you can pay less next year — not more."
Two Days prior that moist towelette for the Coach was this sensitive whiff of weakness on the part of City Council Council Floor Leader Pat O'Connor.
I think what he was trying to say is when we exempt churches, all of us must pay slightly higher water bills to compensate the system: We pay for our own water, then we all chip in a bit more to cover the cost of giving churches water at no charge. Paying twice, as he puts it.
So if we charge our houses of worship for water, those houses of worship are going to have to ask us for more money. So we'll still be paying twice.
The critical difference, however, is that, under the current system, those city dwellers who don't attend a city house of worship -- those who go to the suburbs are who simply aren't churchgoing people -- are compelled to chip in.
If I'm understanding O'Connor correctly, his idea that "it's the same pockets that are paying for it anyway" makes no sense whatsoever.
Oh,Damn them Catholics!
Eric Zorn the Water Boy! Why, you little squirt, you!