Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Ran Dumb - Kids of America! Correctly Use Words, Please. You Lazy Slovens! Now, Clean Your Rooms! Don't Give Me That Look!

Random. This adjective is the latest victim of Dumbonics ( the pan-racial butchering of the language) thanks to MTV and other providers and has become the portmanteau word of choice among Best Coast dweebs. Ebonics was a clever race-card ruse that fell far short of its great expectations; no doubt due to systemic racism and police torture.

Dumbonics seems to have eclipsed Ebonics. Though I have never once caught, much less enjoyed or appreciated the scampy goings-on of the Jersey Shore kids, I am aware of their influence upon the young - college graduates and gainfully employed white, black, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Pacific Islander, Inuit and Aleut, as well as high schoolers and tweens. This pan-idiocy is fueled via Texting, TV, Games and Fast Food, it seems to me.

Several weeks ago, I had occasion to wait for Leo High School patron at the stand-up bar of the venerable Bergoff Restaurant on Adams in Chicago's Loop. The stand-up bar was once a male only harbor for conversation, corned beef, cabbage and colliquative concoctions; now, there are bar stools and woman. It was after working hours and well-dressed boys and girls ordered drinks with mulled mint and gin or craft beers - no one was buying the fine Berghoff draft beers. Too Random. More on this later.

As a devout traditionalist, who automatically genuflects when the red votive candle is alight in church, chapel, or camp, I stand at bars, always, in pious deference to workingmen past. I had occasion to have my ears and sensibilities with choppy, giggly, and text-messaging that passes for conversation among the young ( range:21-36 by my empirical tote board)crowding the aisles, occupying the barstools and elbowing all sundry.

"Had latte at that Random place. Cheese Unlimited."

"Oh,Yah! Anyone there?"

"Random people."

"This one Random Asian Chick was Hot!"

"Don't Know Her"

"Whatever. See Family Guy?

"Random! and so Gay."

"Like Saturday."

"Air Show."


"Omg I have to tell you what happened it was just so random In Wisconsin a farmer got stomped by a random cow,"

" Bull."

"Noferreal . . .stomped."

"It was a Bull. You know . . .a cow with junk? Dec told me on Face."

"Random, Dude. you still Facing"

"Tweet some. 'cept I got caught by Nevins. Almost fired,"

Thus, the Algonquin Roundtable of Room Temperture I.Q.s crossed communicative foils and verbal epees.

My Random thoughts. The word Random tends to be any aimless, thoughtless postioning or selection. Thus,

ran·dom   /ˈrændəm/ [ran-duhm]
1. proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern: the random selection of numbers.
2. Statistics . of or characterizing a process of selection in which each item of a set has an equal probability of being chosen.
3. Building Trades .
a. (of building materials) lacking uniformity of dimensions: random shingles.
b. (of ashlar) laid without continuous courses.
c. constructed or applied without regularity: random bond.

But NOW!!!!

4. Informal a. unknown, unidentified, or out of place: A couple of random guys showed up at the party.
b. odd and unpredictable in an amusing way: my totally random life.

An anonymous phone call - Random hit

An unknown assailant - A Random attacker

An Unexpected Delight - A Random giggle


My Random Blog. Cheese. Random. Gay. Well, I am a very happy guy often to the point of giggling giddyness.

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