Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Religion without Preparation H ( Irish Chapstick)




Hat Tip to Frank Nofsinger and the good folks at Maggie's Farm - click my post title.


We all seem to spend way too much time on Atheists, Muslims, but most of all Christians: Catholic, Evangelical, Mainstream Protestant and Wayyyyyy Out There. Find a more riveting pain in the rump than Chicago's Father Andrew Greeley. Greeley could get an eighty-eight year old Poor Clare to palm a roll of quarters in her tiny but devout fists with his incessantly petulant yammer.

Buddhists and Jews make nice always. Never had a beef with either denomination over matters of faith or anything else.

Atheists are the worst of the lot and much more dogmatic than any Jesuit hair-splitter of Wahhabi's Imam could ever dream of being.

Here's the best of religious thought - Buddhist Jew/Jewish Buddhist - this a thought-palindrome?

The sayings of a Jewish Buddhist, and other Jewish humor

If there is no self, whose flu is this?

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a muffin.

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy.

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.

The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.

Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions; Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says “There is no self.” So, maybe we're off the hook.


That reminds me of this old, old one:
Shirley returns home to Miami from her big Africa trip. Her friends ask her about it, as she sits crying at the Mah Jong table.
"Oy," she says. "In the jungle, I was carried off by a huge gorilla, who took me up into a tree and had his rough, animal way with me for hours."
"You poor thing. It must have been terrible."
"No, it was more wonderful than you could ever imagine. Nothing like Marvin."
"Then why are you crying?"
"It's been two weeks, and he doesn't write, he doesn't call."



One a
Me own:
Then, there is the Irish Jew:

Irish Jew " Ahhhhh, Sueeeeee!"

Passer by " Gesundheit!"

Irish Jew " Comes Out Loose."

1 comment:

streetwise said...

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Streetwise