Monday, November 28, 2011

Moral Certainties at Keegan's Pub 11/26/2011

Retinopathy means "sick retina" and it is among the most terrifying of diabetic complications. What happens in retinopathy is that, with continual exposure to high blood sugars, tiny blood vessels start to grow in a disordered and out of control fashion in the retina--the part of the eye where nerves transmit light images to the brain.

After years of drinking and consuming every sugary substance on the cart, Red Edison went blind from diabetes. Red had been a steam-fitter with Cook County and worked at the Audy Home, until his retirement.

Red was a regular at Keegan's Pub -Club K- on south Western Ave. until last year when he went blind from the diabetes. In the mean time Red had undergone therapy and partnered with a beautiful German Shepherd guide dog - Fritz.

On Sunday, just befor ethe kick-off of Caleb's first NFL start as Bears QB, Red and Fritz wanderered into Keegan's where four big lads from Northern Ireland quietly quaffed pints of Magner's Cider and various foreign and domestic lagers. The bartender, a man from Belfast recently laid off as a carpenter, helped the blind gent to a stool near the door.

" Hi, Bernard!" shouted the tall red-headed sixty-eight year old pensioner who was disapponted to learn that not only was Bernard not on duty, but that his boon chums of days gone by had removed themselves not only from Club K but terra firma.

A powerful County Down voice answered the blind man, "S'all Leds fra' AnTRUM, ARM-ah en FurMAhna en Her." (trans. There are a quartet if young men from Counties Antrim, Armagh and Fermanagh Northern Ireland in this establishment).

"Can you say that in English?"

"Ull Nar-thurn Eye-Rush Leds. (trans. Gentlemen all from Six Counties under the Rule of Perfidious Albion)"

" Wanna hear a great joke about you Donkeys from Far Down?"

The cordial atmosphere thickened into a slushy and chilly silence. The bartender admonished, Red.

" LessUn,Mayt. Um Sex Fute Fife. Kee-Run's Sex Tree, Tummy's uh Beg Led unna Way't Lufter, Dermut's Uh ExtreeUM' Kuck Buxer, and Deck-Lun's wunted fer hes beyun wid th' 'RA." ( Be careful, my friend. I am 6'5" tall, Cian is 6" 3", Tommy lifts weights, Dermot is an Extreme Kick-Boxer and Declan is a rebel on the run.)
Yuh, Stuhl Wanna, Tull Yer Jok', Fulla?"

" Not if I have to explain the damn thing five times. An Orange juice with a straw, my Good man! Don't pet the dog , Kid; he'll piss all over your leg."

The Bears lost to Oakland, because Caleb failed to spike the ball within the parameters of time and good sense.

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