Thursday, March 03, 2011

Pope Exonerates Jews For Crucifiction: What About Gefilte Fish?

(Newser) – Pope Benedict would like to be clear: the Jewish people as a whole were not responsible for the death of God's only son. The pope makes the sweeping exoneration in his new book, Jesus of Nazareth, excerpts of which were released today. In it, Benedict presents a biblical and theological analysis that explains why such an interpretation—which has been used for centuries to justify the persecution of Jews—is not true.

The statement isn't exactly a new one for the Vatican, which in 1965 released a document that firmly stated Jesus' death couldn't be attributed to Jews as a whole. But Jewish scholars welcomed the pope's argument, noting that the faithful are more likely to read commentary than old church documents, and saying it would help fight

The great Lenny Bruce might have been to blame for perpetuating that hateful canard when he revealed that a note was found in a basement -

Lenny Bruce once said that all his life all he ever heard from gentiles is "The Jews killed Christ." Bruce said he never really believed it until, one year, he bought a house in Lake Ronkonkama, NY which is on Long Island. On the day he moved in, he went down to the basement to clean up. Behind an old bookcase he discovered a note. Bruce read it. It said, "I did it" and it was signed "Morty."

Nevertheless, to quote Mr. Bruce, " We are all the same, schmuck!"

Yes, we are.

Pope Benedict reiterated the two thousand year late exoneration and that should end that historical and theological blame game once and for all.

I have but one beef with Jews - Gefilte Fish. Good Lord! After the Holocaust, Jews turned the desert that was Palestine into a Garden of Eden -alive with orange groves and trees and universal sanitation! They found water where none was to be had.

How can the people of the One True Living God, the folks who brought not only monotheism to mankind, but also the first genuine codification of moral and social law and articulated Justice for widows and orphans throughout civilization, the poetry of the psalms, and most of all dietary sense and sensibilities to Mankind explain Gefilte Fish?

I have eaten pig's ears ( fried 'Listeners'), smoked pig's feet (crubeen), yards of tripe, calves brains, crawdads, snails, locusts, haggis, boudain, smelts, eel, Buffalo carp, chicken feet, and seaweed and all with some gusto.

I know a guy who would eat the crotch out of a mortally slow 'coon that had been hit by a Jimmy on I-57 in August, but he turned his nose up at Gefilte Fish ( געפֿילטע פֿיש).

In my goyish understanding Gefilte Fish is shredded or ground carp, whitefish, pike, or mullet that is mixed with eggs, onions matzoh meal and either stuffed into the skin of a fish, or formed into balls or logs.

There are two distinct varieties and I have tried both: one is sweet because sugar is added to the mixture, or peppery. The varieties identify either the Galitzianer ( the sweet) who originated from Galicia and settled in Ukrainia, Poland, Germany, and Austria, the Litvak ( peppery) from the Duchy of Lithuania.

The Gefilte Fish is often served with a jelly schmaltz concoction.

The Jews have a rich bountiful banquet of belly busting wonders! Bagels, Blinnys, Kugel, pickled roots and vegetables that are God affirming - Abraham put the knife in me for a Kosher Green Tomato!

What Jews do with a leg of lamb would make a Greek weep with envy! Stews with raisins, nuts, and figs, Only a Jew can smoked a salmnon! Soups,God Bless You! The Jews invented Fish and Chips with Salt and Malted Vinegar and captured the hearts and minds of Welsh, Irish, Scots and Brits!

But Gefilte Fish? After centuries of abuse, perhaps this was your exploding cigar of cuisine? Here, Goychik, try this! Man, it would gag a maggot.

Okay, we had that one coming.

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