Friday, March 04, 2011

Interview With Northwestern Distinguished Professor of Pornography - Jackie Treehorn

Professor Jackie Treehorn takes full responsibility for the live sex act.

"Hello, Dude, I'm Jackie Treehorn."

I'm not the Dude. I'm Hickey, or Hick, or the Hickester, or Hickerino, or 'Hey, What's that on Your Neck?' or . . .?

"Fine Dude, have it your way. What are you drinking?"

Aquafina, How's the smut business, Jackie?

"Oh, the dildos, the dummy and the players? Regrettably, standards have fallen in academic discourse due to lack of funding, but as a society we have grown. Comic books for primary texts in Evanston . . .these are exciting times, Dude."


Jackie isn't ready, however, to express regret.

"If I decide to say I shouldn't have done this," he said Thursday, sitting in his sex research lab at Northwestern University, "it will be because this could have been avoided, not because anybody has been harmed by it."

Here in the sex lab — an unsexy little space crammed with computers, chairs and a wobbly round table, Penthouse, Russ Meyers posters and bound volumes of BIG Gay Caballeros, Dutch Dykes and Jugs and Ammo — the world seemed quiet, wonky, normal, not so different from the polyester suited and silk-shirted Jackie Treehorn.

What about your university benefactors, your Deans, your colleagues, the media, and your students and their parents kicking out that serious tuition capital Jackie?

"They're sexually spontaneous kinky folks," he said of the performers, "and I'm sure they came up with the idea right there.Sex is not just one thing," he said. "Sex is many things. I teach many things. That includes teaching what kinky sex means."

So, you're feeling crucified, Jackie? The Old Puritanical Card - Iron Nails Ran In?

"I have a thicker skin than most people," he said, "... but I'm feeling the nail through the skin right now. This isn't BYU, this is Northwestern, where a terrorist can be called a law professor and a Medill Law Professor can do anything he feels like doing with his students just to keep the 501 (c)3 Lefty money rolling in. Like I said, exciting times, Dude."

Hickey. How's the blow-back, Jackie?

"If I had to bet, I would bet I will not be doing this again," he said, "either because of my decision or someone else's. And that's fine. It's not like I think this is a necessary part of understanding kinky people."

We are who we are, Jackie?

"Northwestern is the American University in metaphor, Dude."


"What's that on your neck? Let me get the door for you, Dude."

The man treats.

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