Thursday, March 31, 2011

". . .and a Diet Pepsi! - Supersize, Please"* in nature equal ends produce; In man they join to some mysterious use. Alexander Pope Essay on Man

I yield to no man (or woman) in foolish behavior. I hold a life membership in Anti-Mensa because I voted for John Kerry in 2004 and John McCain in 2008; sold all of my gold holdings on September 19, 2008.

However, I take vigorous morning walks. Drink Canfields Lime Seltzer. Smoke, only five Marloboro Reds a day. Eat at midday. Snack not. Sleep early and wake early. This lad crowding sixty reads everything and dismisses cant quickly and vigorously. While Americans are said to be dangerously obese, the lard between their ears tends to be more burdensome than the cascade of chins at Michael Moore's Adam's Apple. Americans too often feast on bullshit. Witness Charlie Sheen's sold-out performance at Chicago Theatre, the demand that Lois Weisberg was really important to Chicago Culture, because she put plastic painted whimsical cows on every corner, Rahm Emanuel is a Chicagoan, Food Deserts, or that Libyan rebels are all dentists.

I enjoy an Italian Beef/Sausage combo sandwich from Pop's on 103rd & Kedzie*, smothered in hot Giardinara and eschew the fries, in most cases. While waiting for one savory piling of char-broiled sausage and paper thin cuts of beef soaked in au jus and stuffed into a pillow of Gonnella roll, I observerd two trencherman order their noon meal.

"Six Dogs with everything, extra fries, two Tom-Tom Tamales, onion rings and two extra large diet pops - one white and one dark."

"The same here."

I asked the gents about the white and dark diet pop

' We suck some out and then mix them further down.'

I see. That is code for WTF?

Both twenty something gentlemen were more than generously proportioned - to wit, they were morbidly obese. Now, my manly frame is dappled and dimpled with lard, here and there, befitting my burgher outlook and satisified American life, but these boys were going to give Chicago Fire Department's overworked EMT's two monstrous workouts in days to come. The jaws-of-life will be needed to open the portals of each man's garden single-bedroom apartment, appointed with an electric Lazy Boy lounger, X-Box acoutrements, Wide Screen Plasma TV and larders filled to capacity with Frito-Lay products and cases of white and dark diet pops.

Following my afternoon's ephiphany, I turned on ME TV for the 3PM showing of Rawhide and was treated with this ad for Diet Pepsi.

This busty lass, I am quite certain, just might not wash down six dogs with everything, large fries, Tom-tom tamales, onion rings & etc. with a frosty Big Gulp full of iced Diet Pepsi . . .or, I might be voting for John Kerry or John McCain again . . .I think not. Another selection offered up on the endless bullshit buffet! Bon Appetit!

*Extremes in nature equal ends produce; In man they join to some mysterious use.

"In one five-week study conducted in 2008, 27 rats that were provided with a saccharin-sweetened yogurt ate more total food and gained more weight than rats fed sugar-sweetened yogurt. And it wasn’t because they loved the saccharin-sweetened yogurt—in fact, they tended to eat less of it, but went back to their regular chow for second helpings more often than the rats given sugar. On the other hand, a 2004 study of 24 French men and women, also for about five weeks, found that the individuals randomly assigned to include high-calorie, sugar-sweetened beverages in their diet did the most overeating—and had no better hunger control compared to a similar group allocated to consume artificially sweetened beverages."
So since they taste like sweetened rat urine, what on earth is the point of drinking diet sodas? Roberts has thoughts on that, too: "magnetic resonance imaging studies tracking the brain’s responses to sugar and intense sweeteners show that in our unconscious brain we know they are different—even while we perceive both of them as 'sweet-tasting' in our conscious brain. While this might seem like bad news, I view this as positive because it means we can still enjoy sweet taste without getting the neurological high that accompanies a rush of sugar calories."

So you enjoy what you're drinking, but you don't get a buzz. Roberts theorizes that over time we can retrain our brains to uncouple the connection between sugar and the dopamine rush we get from it: "In other words, using artificial sweeteners may actually make us like the real thing less over time, and provide a bridge to a healthier low-calorie, low-sugar diet that still tastes sweet due to our increased sensitivity for the sugars in natural foods."

** Testimonial" I travel 100 miles, each direction, for beef sandwiches. I have been coming to Pop's, PH location for more than 20 years.
- Brice H. McCarty II (verified 232.9 miles round trip!)

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