Tales of the South Side: Breakfast at Tiffany's Reviewed by Kondike " Moose" Cholak

Man, I took a beating in April of 1965. That was not my best year by far.  The Nun I had for the tail-end of Sixth Grade at Little Flower told my folks that I was 'retarded, obstinate, disorganized and destined for bad end.' To say that I was a miscreant little jerk is not a stretch and I remain less than anal retentive in my assault upon tasks. However, bad end?  I think not.  I have been saved by great folks.

Immediately following one of my numerous extra curricular Pre-May Crowning beat-downs by Sister Beautificus, RSM, I accompanied two pals Tom Scanlon and Bernie Weber eastward in  the alley between 80th & &79th Street.. In their company,  I took my first cigarette, actually my second, my first I got from Uncle Mike.  This was my first outside of the tribal circle.  My companions were considered a bad lot in the common-room of the school's convent,  whose families lived in the apartments along Ashland Avenue on the Little Flower side.  One guy, Tom, is now a retired school psychologist and the other, Bernie, became a much decorated Chicago fireman, also retired.  We all three had written satirical essays on the upcoming May Crowning, which offended Sister Beautificus, who asked me, 'What would your Father say if he saw this?'  I waited a second, timing is everything, " Who you think wrote most of its, S'ter?"  Flesh and bone was now open for business. Messy desks, slipshod arithmetic no SRA work done in weeks built the hooded Black and White into a Torrent of Spring Fury!  I took it on the cheeks, the ears, the snot-locker and even the gums, as did my boon chums.  We celebrated this blood-bond with a pack of Chesterfields snitched from Tom's Mom's purse. 

Upon the celebratory light-up, Bernie's Dad's car came bouncing through the then unpaved alley at a great clip.  Old Man Weber had seen us in the act,

 " Bernie, get your rump home now!  Immediately, if not sooner.  Hickey - I'll see your old man, when he gets off work and stops at Billy Ellis's.  Hi Tom!  How's your Mom?"

Mrs. Scanlon was a widow who worked for the Phone Company over on Stewart and was considered by every pater familias to be easy on the eyes. .

"Fine, Mr. Weber, "  Scanlon, obviously off the hook, spirited the rumpled pack of Chesterfield's in my jacket pocket and tore ass south at the intersection of Marshfield and the alley.  Mr. Weber glared at me, " You're as big a smart-ass as your Uncle Bart.  I told Bernie to stay the Hell away from you. Bernie, beat it!  You, Mr. Hickey, make yourself scarce."

Swell. A brace of great communications concerning the fruit of his loins to candy Dad's ears, prior to his twenty minutes at home before he had to go his other job at the Beverly Theatre.  Nun Battery followed by the manly art of snitching a nail.  "I am well and truly screwed," I determined with no prodding from the audience, whatsoever. Smart Lad!  I fired up another smoke and walked across Ashland Ave. to the Highland Theater - home of the Hercules versus Viet Cong and other B Movies.. There was always sexy and salacious movie posters to heighten a lad's trip to the Saturday Confessional.  Always, a grand idea to tempt oneself.

 I stood in the ticket bay of Highland Theatre on Ashland and smoked another Chesterfield with the existential fatalism of Sartre, jilted by some swell French Dame in tight sweater and tighter black slit skirt..  I looked at ads of upcoming movies that I would never see.  A gruff but familiar voice assaulted my pornographic musings, " Spit out that butt, Kid." Jesus!!!!!!!

Cop? Uncle?  No. Ignatius the school janitor?  Nope. I turned to see furrowed brows and dashing side burns, bushy eye brows and Goliath-like terror of none other than Klondike Moose Cholak - The Wrestling Foe of Man and Beast!.

The man eclipsed the waning western sun beaming on the tar roof of Billy Ellis' Wooden House, where the Old Man stopped for a Hamms and a Vinegar and Oil ( Seagrams VO Canadian).  The Star of Saturday afternoon pre-Confessional Wrestling, brought to me by Ben's Auto Sales on South Western Ave., snapped,  " Weed's for sissies, book-worms and sob-sisters, kid."

Uh,uh stammered I ,  " I just tried 'cuz the guys and me . . ."

Moose Cholak glared at me, " Hey, save it for Aunt Gertie!  You wanna end up being be some pencil neck, no good for anybody, salad eater, Boy?"

Given my proclivities of the tongue, I was more than familiar with the rhetorical question at this tender age and checked my natural tendency go all Noel Coward with Klondike Moose Cholak.

Rather, I penitently answered properly, "No sir."

With folded arms and a broad smile of avuncular approval, Klodike Moose Cholak ordered me to pick up the cast away cylinder of sin and put it in the cement ashtray near the curb like a good boy and then waxed poetic, " Breakfast at Tiffany's,  kid. That's what smoking'll do for you and our whole county. You know, that they made it a movie a couple years back with that skinny broad from My Fair Lady.? Now, pay attention! The guy who wrote the story about that  skirt what liked to shop and hang around with fairies and rich creeps, started smoking at your age.  I saw him on Suskind's TV show, when I couldn't go back to sleep last week and it stuck with me.  This tiny little bald  guy with a pixie voice said his mom was some hillbilly hooker and that he started smoking as a little guy and it stunted his growth, made his hair fall out and talk like a girl. That's no way, Kid. Now,  where's that saloon what's called The Wooden House?"

I pointed to the northwest corner of 79th & Ashland and corrected the wrestler, " We call it Billy Ellis's around here."

With a smile, Moose offered this valediction, " You got some lip on you kid. A  lip on you that' would trip a pig."

How could one come to bad end in this urban Arcadia?

I have not had a cigarette, since breakfast.

Billy Thurber? Jimmy Ayres? It's a Whimsical Terrorist Reading His Own Whimiscal Thoughts

The Whimsical Weathermen Bill and his Odious Old Lady.


I love DNA.com Chicago.  DNA.com features Pulitzer Prize winning Mark Konkol  one of the very few authentic Chicago writers in the local media.  Along with John Kass, Steve Rhodes, Natasha Korecki, Dan Mihalopoulos, Steve Metsch, and Kate Grossman, Konkol respects the people who live in this city and not just the tonier denizens of  metro power-communities like Winnetka, Evanston, Hyde Park, Oak Park and Lakeview. The balance of the crew aboard this Chicago neighborhood news aggregater is pretty much solid - I especially like  Wendell Hudson ( Gresham etal) Casey Cora ( Canaryville and Erica Demerest ( Pilsen).  A very few ink-slingers give me the vapors and miseries, Lawd, Lawd!

One howler is the chap who covers Hyde Park - home of humorless Humanists and the prickly Progressive.  Hyde Park is a cool neighborhood with great dining and dancing, as well as intellectual jungle jims where coffee or beer can lubricate quality talk between persons who actually know something besides their place in the front of the line.

The neighborhood is not generally plagued with crime despite the disposable income available to ne'er-do - wells in the corduroy, or denim britches of both gender afoot. Rather the neighborhood is blemished with blow-hards who tend to be radical Progressives. Convicted Alderman Larry Bloom'd here and abouts until his two big-hearted meat hooks snagged some swag in between Larry's Rage Against the Machine landed Larry in Oxford Federal Pen. Toni Preckwinkle, Barbara Flynn-Currie, and,of course, Dr. Quentin Young the Guru of the Marxist Progressive Democrat sway enormous clout over the city, county, state and nation from this 'hood.

A tad north of Hyde Park is Kenwood kind of like Morgan Park is to Beverly in the real world.  In Kenwood resides President Obama's clout and chinaman - Bill Ayers, SDS/Weatherman Veteran/ Educational Ghost Payroller (Ret.)/ Commie Snake-Oil Shill and Cubana de Aviación frequent flier - he is even believed to have penned both of Barack H. Obama's autobiographies.  Bill Ayers - the Barney Google of Terror.This fatuous dope gets far too much attention and I only wish to point out the rather flawed work of a small cognomen in the DNA.com Chicago wheel - Ted Cox - accent grave on the Ted.

Bill Ayers is the product of a powerful home chock full of money - cash, bonds, dividends, investments, trusts and I'll bet more gold coins than William Devane.  Ayers Pappy - Old Tom - was a Commonwealth Edison CEO and Chicago's utility, charity, civic and political, boards-man.  I know some revolutionaries and even a couple of devout Communists and they are sweet generous and self effacing people from whom one could expect the loan of a generator when Com Ed goes out.  Old Tom and his kid strike me as the types who call the cops on Trick 'R Treaters at the stroke of 6PM.  The real revolutionaries worked in Northern Ireland and Nicaragua and one never hears much about their guerrilla days.  Ayers never shuts up.  Covering this clown is Ted Cox.

International House at University of Chicago - has a seating capacity for 300-400 persons.  Bill is reported to have attracted 100, which in crowd reporting gets a bemused nod of 'Sure. . .sure.'  Ayers Zippo'd Kerry, Obama, Clinton and Henry Kissinger and dys-informed the gathering on Syria, Libya and Dylan.  Ted listened and filtered Chicago's Own Billy Ayers through . . .now, get this . . .James Thurber

The reading part of the evening, from "Public Enemy: Confessions of an American Dissident," a sequel to his earlier "Fugitive Days" about his time underground with antiwar radicals the Weathermen, tended to be humorous, ironic and self-deprecating, as Ayers' writing also displays an air of whimsical imagination reminiscent of James Thurber.
Ayers writes of being in a seminar with his students in 2008 when they began watching the debate in which he was dragged into the campaign as a "domestic terrorist" who had supported Barack Obama in his early political ventures. One student turned to him and said, "Oh my God, that guy has the same name as yours."

Pokkatah, Pokkatah, pokka . . .What???  Whimsical Billy?  Whimsy is Ogden Nash.  Bill Ayers is a political sideshow and rhetorical chicken choker.  Ayers is a hillbilly grifter, so obvious in his dress, speech, deportment and pretensions ( Rilke?  Really?),  that he resembles the old cartoon-snake-oiler Barney Google. Even Slate hates Ayers books.

Beacon Press will publish Public Enemy: Confessions of an American Dissident. It’s billed as a sequel to Fugitive Days, Ayers’ 2001 Weather Underground memoir, which at the time was the most “self-indulgent and morally clueless” memoir Slate’s Tim Noah had ever read. (This was several years before Eat Pray Love.) I liked Fugitive Days a little more than that, and Ayers was kind enough to sign a copy for me after some of my college friends and I annoyed him at one of the 2001 readings.

Fugitive Days and Ayers’ post-9/11 book tour were streaked with humility. Ayers had done something wrong, and he admitted it, but he did it for the right cause. Public Enemy, by contrast, is a memoir of score-settling, against a cast of extremely stupid (according to Ayers) critics. To hear Ayers tell it, since 2001 he’s been victimized and pilloried and misunderstood by a succession of idiots.

Guerrillas don't cry!  There's no crying in Bolivarista World Revolution!

Ted Cox finds the dope whimsical!   How about CCCP's own Thurber, Beria, Ted? What a scamp.   Now, that lad could kick up a swell Beriozka.  Ted is probably a pretty good guy, who just wants a neighbor to feel good.

Ted, Bill Ayers is a talentless, wealthy, but talentless dope hooked up for life to an odious hag of a cheerleader.  Now, she is dangerous.

Ted, Bernardine Dohrn is not whimsical. This is 

For Leo Lion Linebacker Terron " Mr. Touchdown" Bell - Here's the Song I Mentioned

The Soul Bowl Champions - In the Maroon Shirt and Tie is Scholar Athlete Terron 'Mr. Touchdown' Bell.  Old # 59 snagged a pass intended for a Hales Franciscan Spartan receiver and carried the ball into the end zone!

Terron Bell -5-7, 252 | 40: 5.48 | Class of 2014

They always call him Mr. Touchdown;
They always call him Mr. T.
He can run and he can throw;
Just give him the ball and look at him go!
Hip hip hooray for Mr. Touchdown;
He's gonna beat em today;
So, lets give a great big cheer
for the hero of the year;
It's Mr. Touchdown, USA**. 

This song was originally posted at:
http://bussongs.com/songs/mr-touchdown.php

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*This song was written for Chandos "Pete" Young. He was named Mr. Touchdown USA in 1933 when he scored 128 touchdowns playing for Bluefield College in WVA.

Chicago Tribune Editorial - " Hey, Folks! We Had a Huge Part in Lousing Up Chicago; Now, Let's All Help Planning the Funeral!"

For more than forty years, The Chicago Tribune Editorial Board has been in the vanguard of the coalition of advocates, academics and activists who have helped turn Chicago away from The Machine and towards the Mistake on the Lake! Now, that Chicago has become everything that the Tribune has demanded it become, like a Gold Coast Dowager with a fat divorce settlement and thirty years of Rush Street Cosmo -promiscuity and concomitant liposuction, the Kids on Board want an urban intervention.

The Tribune has poured oceans of ink on Chicago's — forgive the euphemism — urban problems. Treating them as individual diseases is convenient for us, convenient for readers, just convenient: Write another series, then preserve it in a digital folder marked Crime, or Schools, or Jobs, or Family Breakdown, or City Finances.
What we haven't done as rigorously is examine the whole patient: the still-sturdy skeleton of Chicago on which holistic remedies might be built.

Yep, about as appealing as smooching the old Cougar's cold sores, that is.

With decades of patient and gutless group thought,  the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board has achieved everything Abner Mikva learned from Saul Alinsky.   Chief Keef gets more publicity than the Special Olympics and deceased gang-bangers more respect than Francis Cardinal George.

For better than forty years the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board worked to make sure that everyone takes this person very seriously, and questions the values, aspirations and intentions of these people


For forty plus years the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board worked 24/7 to

• Undermine any and all confidence in the Justice System - see Peoples Law Office, Loevy & Loevy, Bernardine Dohrn, Medill School of Journalism and the Centers for Wrongful Anything
• Call for every idiotic tax necessary - see  Ralph Martire
• Back protected political grifters and lightweights - see Forrest Claypool et al
• Assault the Catholic Church particularly and religion generally - See John Kass' great column*
• Demand larcenous policies for education - See the Tribune Editorials c. 1968-2013
• Equate sexual behavior with race - ibid.
• Denigrate Skilled Tradesmen - Promote SEIU Marxism with Labor -ibid.
• Censor and obliterate the past -ibid.
• Promote the Selfish -ibid.
• Denigrate the Competent - ibid.
• Examine only the approved point of view -ibid.
• Ignore Consequences - See Detroit

Now, Hyde Park Mafia's paper of record wants Stella & Stosh, Marty & Maeve, Curtis & Clara, Dash & Dot to come up with master plan that would make Danny Burnham fill his britches!

Here's my plan .. . .Go . . .try to show some respect for people who actually make a difference in lives of people.

Seriously, cite every suggestion proposed by this band of lemmings at Joe Medill's rag and walk things back.

* Best reason to read the Tribune, other than High School Sports

The Soul Bowl is Leo's! Varsity 28-21 Over the Very Tough Spartans of Hales Franciscan

I guess # 3 Theo Hopkins and #5 Riley McClendan are somewhat pleased by the Leo Varsity victory Saturday - # 11 Daniel Scott*& is too overcome with joy and manly pride to join this dance of victory - Daniel has his mind on Gordon Tech. Great Coverage by CUBE, Chicago;s prep sports go-to guys.



A lackluster 1st half for the Lions was sparked bright-eyed and bushy tailed by # 22 Mike Conley just before the half.

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Then, Coach Mike Holmes and staff rallied the Lion's roar for a defensive seminar on team - witness Mr. Terron Bell # 59

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And another inception by multi- IHSA track & field Champion Theodore Hopkins, Jr. # 3.

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This was a fine day - weather not withstanding.

The Soul Bowl is in the main office of Leo High School - all Alumni share in this honor.

Leo Varsity Football stands at 6-0 with Gordon Tech coming up.

*


Leo High School Football
Mascot Lions Team Varsity 13-14 Colors Orange, Black
Coach Michael Holmes Address 7901 S Sangamon St, Chicago, IL 60620
Overall 6-0 Conference 3-0 National Rank 3008State (IL) Rank 103
League Chicago Catholic - Red
(C) = Captain
Click column headers to sort the data
# Name Pos. Gr. Ht Wt
2 James Davis III WR, DB Sr. 5-9 175
3 Theodore Hopkins Jr. (C) RB, DB Sr. 5-10 185
4 Saheed Adewole WR, OLB Jr. 6-1 205
5 Riley McClendon-Gray (C) DB, WR, KR Sr. 5-11 185
7 Latrell Giles QB Jr. 6-1 175
9 Nnequez Bennett DB, WR Sr. 6-1 180
11 Daniel Scott LB, WR Sr. 6-3 190
16 Mallik Prince RB, QB, DB Sr. 5-9 175
22 Michael Conley RB, ILB Sr. 6-0 215
23 Marquis Williams RB, ILB Jr. 5-7 200
25 Zuriel Cook S, WR Jr. 5-7 165
28 Darius Williams DB, WR Jr. 5-10 165
40 Joe Shorter RB, DB Jr. 5-10 180
44 Caleb Carter LB, DE Sr. 5-10 210
50 Anthony Anderson OL, DL, K Sr. 6-1 245
54 Juvan Lewis OL, DL Sr. 6-2 270
58 Jabari Jackson OL, DL Jr. 6-0 230
59 Terron Bell OL, DL Jr. 5-7 260
64 Clifton Thurman OL, DL Jr. 6-0 260
69 Durman Jackson III DL, OL Sr. 5-11 295
70 Christopher Livingston OL, DL Jr. 6-0 260
72 Les Wiggins OL, DL Sr. 6-3 265
75 Raheem Williams OL, DL Jr. 6-4 380
82 Solomon Jones WR, K, DB Sr. 6-2 195
83 Sydney Dorsey WR, DB Sr. 6-0 175
88 James Britton Jr. DE, TE Jr. 6-3 240

I Am in a Wonderful Frame of Mind . . . For What It's Worth!

God is a good guy, to me anyway.

My son is taking his trade exam after a two year apprenticeship. My older daughter and her fiance closed on a house nearby. My youngest daughter is studying and working at Western Michigan.  Leo High School is gearing up at the school for today's Soul Bowl with Hales Franciscan and a continuation of a perfect season at both varsity and JV levels.



 I have Chet Baker playing and singing in the background.  My only worry concerns my lovely lady friend who is visiting family in New Orleans as a tropical storm is twisting near Big Easy.  God's a good guy.

This week at Leo High School I watched two young women really make an impact upon the tough but eminently fragile young men they teach.  Both women, a science and a math teacher, are at ease with their disciplines and the young bundle of hormones in front of them.  Our science teacher, a veteran of Maria High School, gives a vocabulary word of the day unrelated to biology, or chemistry.  You should hear 15, 16 and 17 year old African American,Mexican and Irish tough guys employ the new found words and their proper meanings in the hallowed halls long ago patrolled by quick belting Irish Christian Brothers - ' Mr. Hickey's evanescent hair reminds me of Fall!'  Friday's word flibbertigibbet dominated both lunch hours.

The young teacher, who bears my last name, teaches geometry like she has been in the trade for years and she is Mike Joyce's assistant boxing coach armed with ND Bengal Bouts seasoning the young lady handles her mitts well after school. In the classroom, the boys are learning because their teacher treats them like men.

Our guys come to school early and stay late.  We are making a difference and that makes me very proud.

Yep, God is a good guy who helps us work incrementally.  I can not wait to get over to Hales Franciscan for the Soul Bowl.  I know my great frame of mind is only going to improve. God gave us Chet Baker, after all.

The Integrity Desert at 1600 Pensylvannia Ave. and the Resident Desert Fox

Normandy 1944 -" Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning." Erwin Rommel, The Desert Fox

Omaha Beach 1944 -“I had no friends beside me,” Conwell said. “If a guy fell beside me, I let him. The English had told me don’t stop to help. I know that might not have been the Christian thing to do, but it kept you alive. I just went with it. The object was to stay alive and it worked for me.” Creed Conwell D-Day Omaha Beach survivor



WWII Memorial  2013 -  National Park Service Spokesman Carol Johnson told reporters today that the orders to close the the World War II memorial in Washington, DC during the government shutdown came from the Office of Management and Budget (OMB), which answers directly to the Obama Administration.

"O.M.B (Office of Budget Management) sends everything down to the other agencies," said Johnson.

"Why can't I just eat my waffle?" President Barack H. Obama 44th Commander-in-Chief of the United States of America and waffle aficionado

ObamAbortion is No Fluke: Who Will Have the First ObamaCare Opportunity to Butcher Her Child?

Secretary Sebelius asks unaborted young 'uns about the pictures in this Golden Book and wonders ' What Kind of Mothers Allowed Them to Not Be Aborted?  What a World. Well, We will soon change that!'

Former Dr. Kermit Baron Gosnell, now serving time for butchering full term and unborn children, must be shickled . . .tickled . . .aplenty on this First Tuesday of ObamaCare, formerly known as October.  Boy howdy, Old Orange Jumpsuit and crowds of Lord & Taylor suited dowagers and Planned Parenthood hags have abortion, not only on demand, but on the Citizens' dime.

The Office of Personnel Management ruled Monday that members of Congress and their staffs will be able to buy health care plans that pay for abortions, even though the premiums are funded largely by taxpayer money — a move that conservatives say breaks federal law on abortion funding.
Under the terms of Obamacare, lawmakers and their aides are required to ditch their government-sponsored plans and buy insurance on state-based health care exchanges, though unlike most people on the exchanges, the staffers and members will have most of the costs of their premiums paid by their employer — in this case, taxpayers.

Abortion just jumped up a step!  More shame on us all.

Abortion the Original Hate Crime - Now, available through the United States Government, absolutely shameless, since 1973!

So, It's Monday - Polka!

The Bears?  Had to happen.   Sox and Cubs?  Please.  Mortgage due tomorrow?  As always.

Hey,The weather was fabulous all weekend; the kids are all healthy and happy; Leo High School football is 5-0 at the JV and Varsity levels; I got two and half  pounds of Greek (Kasseri and Graviera) cheese in the icebox and polka music in my blood!

Pobierz w Paddy Wagon was Irish drań!






White Boy, grać, że funky music!

Totalitarian Tinkerbell's Top Tomes

Academics can barely determine the proper amount to tip a barista; yet, they can tell cops how to fight crime and President's what trigger not  to pull . . . and when.  Academics comprise Blue Ribbon State panels of tweedy totalitarians who empty prisons of felons and ignore the families of victims.

Academics used to be the sad rumpled dopes that they are in real life.  Only Camille Paglia among the literary lions stands up for real people.  Professor Paglia called the most fatuous fraud in literary studies, Stanley Fish -America's Totalitarian Tinkerbell.  Spot on, Doc.

I was lucky enough to be taught by teachers and only ran into an academic well past the time of being awed by the man's condescension and poor personal hygiene.  I had about tens years of teaching under my pelt, before returning to post-graduate studies.  This one poser taught some PC lit course on gender and colonialism.  He was a faculty pain-in-the-ass and popular with the kids - easy A.

How sad that some people only read what academics find - vital, searing, game-changing and really stupid.
I imagine that the book reviews never get past the covers.
e.g..




“Throughout, Dimock contends that American
literature is answerable not to the nation-state, but
to the human species as a whole, and that it looks
dramatically different when removed from a strictly
national or English-language context.”
I applaud this goal, yet all of the texts drawn
from global contexts “across deep time” are presented in English translations.
Henry James’s novels and
The Epic of Gilgamesh, to give one comic example,
get read together. I know—in this case, who cares?
But this is true throughout. Knowing a text in its
original language and cultural contexts is crucial.
If such knowledge is removed, due to the scholar’s
inadequacies or the assumed reader’s, the result is
readings lacking resonance, depth, weight. Reading
then is like looking at a child’s shaken snow globe,
with the texts-snowflakes gradually settling down to
one common level. All are globally equal now but
equally bland and banal."  Daniel T. O’Hara
Temple University



"Cheesy, laughable, and
iterative: the writer who brought you a fudge recipe
in Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang (1964) introduces the
bondsman of global capital." -Eyal Amiran University of California, Irvine

"How cleverly condescending can one get? A tear falling in a field of snow!" -Marjorie Perloff
Stanford University


"The character of Clyde had been pulled out of Dreiser’s own murky
inner life. Dreiser has never been accused of being
a stylist, so a difference in language is not the question; it is more a matter of Dreiser letting the public
record interfere with his re-imagining ."William A. O’Rourke
University of Notre Dame


"This formulaic knock-off
of fantastic conspiracy theories is a trite study for a
film script—and no wonder the movie was also bad.
I love the chapters that are only a couple of lines
long." Bonnie Wheeler
Southern Methodist University


In a world that depends up Public Televison to determine what restaurant serves really important cuisine, it is always nice to go out and eat some good chow in the Heart of Italy.

Do so likewise with what you read.

Tales of the South Side - Two Nuns Plus Two Jews Equal???? Come on -

In 1964, Sister Mary Sherry, RSM ( the former Grace Magdalen Conroy - Mercy High Class of1958 & B.A. from Mundelein College '62) accompanied Sister Mary Aoileach do Aghaidh, RSM  ( the former Peg Mahone of Galway -on community business, away from the forty children per classroom at Little Flower Grammar School located on Chicago's south side at 81st & Honore, to the bright lights Manhattan, NYC. 
                              Hoods universal -('Gasp) Do see the cheek of her!')

Young Sister Mary Sherry looked like Tuesday Weld and her Irish born superior resembled Charles Laughton in drag.  Sister Mary Sherry taught 1st Grade and Sister Mary Aches Do Ache taught me and my contemporaries in 7th grade.  Sister Mary Sherry had long alabaster fingers like a Dresden China figurine of a Teutonic Princess and Sister Mary Aches had a set of meat hooks on her that resembled a couple of unboned Mickleberrys.  Sister Mary Sherry held a Bachelor of Arts in English and was studying for certification at Parker Teachers College on 62nd & Stewart and Sister Mary Aoileach do Aghaidh could beat the living poop out of the coaching staff at Leo High School and her kindest murmur translated to " I'll Have Your Guts fer Garters!"

Having concluded their business for the community at some old Dutch law firm that held mortgages on some Mercy Nun properties in Mount Greenwood out in the sticks of the city, the pair of woman religious strolled Manhattan.

They passed two tall, dignified men with very long beards, sporting very nice black suits and matching Stetsons.

Sister Mary Sherry remarked, "Sister, those gentlemen are Hasidim  - devout Jewish diamond merchants."

Her porcine superior snorted in Galway-ese,  'Shtuff en Nonshensh. Thems Trappishts, er Carthooshians.  They's prieshtsss.'
(translation:  Stuff and Nonsense. They are Trappists, or Carthusian. They happen to be priests.)

After a dozen or so steps, Sister Mary Sherry summoned up the courage to suggest, ' Sister Mary - the two gentlemen were speaking in Yiddish.'

Her boss stopped and glared before pronouncing -' T'wash Ladin.'
(translation: It was Latin.)

The astonished but cowed little nunette awaited the full judgment and clarity of the homelier Bride of Christ, " Ladin! Da tung of da Chorch! One fella shez, ' Mincus . . .Pincus Fuctus!'  Dare Y'ar."

(translation: Hey, give it a try yourself!)

Father Tony Brankin Answered Mark Brown's Column in the Sun Times today - Two Weeks ago.

Some time ago, the Illinois Coalition of  Immigrant and Refugee Rights ( ICIR) found it had lost its funding from the Catholic Campaign for Human Development (CCHD)after ICIR decided to stand in solidarity with those demanding the redefinition of marriage, via homosexual marriage legislation.

As a result ICIR could no longer fund Albany Park Neighborhood Council's Bike 'N Roses program that helps poor kid fix bikes with the dollars funded by the Catholics. See how this works?

Mark Brown, who feels deeply and writes nicely, took umbrage with the Archbishop of Chicago's Catholics, Francis Cardinal George, OMI, decision not to allow CCHD to continue to toss huge money to ICIR,which peeled off some Catholic Jacksons and tossed them to the poor kids of Albany Park, after ICIR tossed the Cardinal's defense of marriage and teachings from the Catholic catechism under foot once the check was dry.

Mark Brown wrote a heart-tugger about the likely lads of Albany Park and the cruelty of the Cardinal and followed that up with very dissembling interview with Chicago's Shepherd. That's is what a Progressive advocate must do! I guess.

Mark Brown's column was about the domino effect defunding the ICIR for its solidarity with homesexuala marriage was followed in short order by a cadre of Democratic Party lightweights with spray tans condeming the Cardinal and shortly thereafter one heaveyweight and former gubernatorial candiate the same.   Getting a funding cut is never pleasant, but its part-and-parcel of the action packed world of fund-raising.

I too get my shorts in knot every time a 501(c)3, corporate charity arm, or rich guys writes a decline to a proposal for a grant to help poor Black, Latino and Canaryville Irish kids in Auburn Gresham, because we are Catholic in mission and operation. One might call such refusals to help poor kids get a high school education . . .Progressive. Shucks, the very first decline to one of my inquiries came from Barack Obama himself, when he headed the Woods Fund.  Progressives don't do certain faith based initiatives, not unlike, Catholic grant making entities who will not fund fund groups seeking to undo it.  I research and reach out to 501(c)3's, corporations and rich guys unburdened by Progressive symbiotic doctrines.

Today Mark Brown lays out the red carpet welcoming Progressive money to philanthropy.

A group of progressive charitable foundations — active in both the immigration reform and marriage equality movements — will step up Wednesday to announce creation of an emergency fund to replace the $300,000 stripped from member organizations of the Illinois Coalition of Immigrant and Refugee Rights.
I’m glad to see that somebody has got these folks’ back.

Can I get a Harrumph?  Bike chains and seat adjustments will once again signal the dreams of Albany Park's impoverished lads.

Two weeks ago the pastor of St. Odilo's Catholic Church in Berwyn, Father Tony Brankin, preemptively answered the Mark Brown Huzzahs in a published homily. St. Odilo's is comprised largely of Latino ( Mexican), blue collar ethnics and a few Black families.  Father Tony Brankin is a musician, sculptor, scholar and a Catholic priest.
Read this, folks.

Ramblings - Fr. Brankin 
CHD and the Cardinal
Not too long ago the Cardinal asked us to help defend him against the assaults of so-called
Catholic politicians of Chicago—taking place these days in the papers and media.
It seems that some politicians—including Bill Daley—(the one that wants to be governor)—
are protesting the fact that the Cardinal denied charitable funding to a community organization
that advertises itself as working for immigrants. This is grant money that comes from the
Catholic Campaign for Human Development. You remember, this is the collection in October
where the cardinal asks for donations from the Catholic people of Chicago.
Well the problem is that this particular organization has decided to promote homosexual
marriage among the immigrants—all the while it takes Catholic money. Of course we cannot
be involved in any way with something like this.
The Cardinal has made it very clear that it is not right that the money that Catholic people
give to the Church for the purpose of alleviating the suffering of the poor—would be used by
the recipients of that grant to fight against the Catholic Church’s moral teachings. It is in fact
dishonest. And that is the Cardinal’s word—dishonest.
Of course the politicians are crying great crocodile tears: “How terrible of the Cardinal—that
he would deny the poor people this help—this money!”
Well all I can ask is: how dare these conniving Catholic politicians demand your charity—as
if it were theirs—as if it were owed to them. If they want their pet organizations to survive—
then I have no doubt that they could reach into their own pockets and pull out the money they
need. It is chump change for someone like Bill Daley who has been fooling around with the
Clintons and the Obamas for twenty years now.
Besides, it is not poor people who receive any of the money from this grant anyway. Not a
cent would have been given to the poor woman sitting on one side of the desk with three
children in her arms—and her husband being threatened with deportation. Not one cent. That
money goes to the organizer who is writing down all the information and asking her to hold a
sign at the next protest rally.
The money from many of these grants is not going for the poor but for community organizations so that the organization can pay its bills.
In other words, the money we collect for the Campaign for Human Development does not
find its way to the homeless guy who doesn’t have a mat to sleep on—it isn’t given to the
struggling father without papers who is just trying to feed his family—it gets funneled to the
community organization. And then, of course, you have to ask: How did the politicians get involved in all this? Why
have they decided that now is the time to shame the Cardinal and the Church with their
falsehoods? You would have thought they didn’t have a horse in this race.
But there they are—in all the newspapers—all upset with the cardinal—and their shorts in a
knot—because their buddies—the professional poverty crowd—the ones with whom they go to
rallies and fund raisers and cocktail parties—you know—the cocktail parties they never invite
you or me to—they’re upset because their buddies are getting cut off. And what better way to
gain cheap plaudits than to slam the Cardinal for opposing homosexual marriage?
It seems that they are all in on it—the politicians and precinct captains and the community
organizers and the professional poverty hustlers and the media. And here is the likely scenario.
The Cardinal cuts off some free-will funding to a group that now promotes homosexual
marriage. The community organizers panic! They are on the phone to city hall in a New York
minute: “What’s going on? He cut us off! You better do something!”
The next thing you know there is a full page ad in the Tribune—paid for I am sure by the
Democratic Party—a smarmy, lying letter that excoriates the Cardinal for not helping the
poor—a letter that perverts Church teaching about life and love and marriage—a letter that
demands more money for their friends. And they write these greedy lies all in the name of
helping poor immigrants.
What a crew! This is what goes on in this city—and they want you to think it is all on the up
and up! Well it’s not on the up and up. And probably never has been.
But I will say that I hope we rethink our involvement with the Catholic Campaign for Human
Development—because when we don't give our money to the poor, but to those who say they
are helping the poor, we are really vulnerable to these kinds of problems. There will be
no end to such cynical and greedy manipulations and dishonesty. We cannot keep funding
people who just do not believe what we believe about life and love. It is that simple.
And then we can start distributing assistance to people directly and to those who actually need it—just like we used to when the poor were genuinely helped and they had the Gospel
preached to them in the bargain. And Son of a gun! It worked! 

Fred Eychner, a rich guy who owns the Illinois and good part of National LGBTQ agenda is helping fund the Albany Park bike fixers.  That's great; no kidding.

Fred Eychnaer owns a significant piece of both US Senators, most US Reps.the current governor and most of legislature. Fred does Not own a piece of the Roman Catholic Church.

The Catholic Church in Chicago amassed pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters from immigrants and refugees in its churches over the last two hundred and still managed to develop social services being now erased by Progressive lordship over the Democratic and Republican elected officials of Illinois.

I hope that Fred Eychaner's wallet can make up the difference in peoples lives that the Catholic Church continues to do on its dime.

The Cannabis Career Institute - Proves that I am not fully evolved

Push carts slinging dope?  Medical Marijuana Roach Coaches? Sweet.

CCI was created with you in mind. The eager, cannabis entrepreneur trying to find out the best and easiest way to get into this exciting industry. Luckily, our staff here is ready, willing and able to provide YOU with a personalized ACTION PLAN (tm) and ACTION TEAM (tm). That way you leave our seminars knowing EXACTLY what to do, who to call and who to trust. Not only that, you will have assembled a support network that you can come back to again and again as your project progresses to assure your continued success. We have been helping marijuana businesses to become legal and compliant from the start for over three years now. Our faculty consists of industry veterans with not only a lifetime of achievements, but the seal of approval from their peers. We want to be involved in your business. We will be there for you. There is no other Cannabis University that can say this. Ask us about our successful clients and schedule a one on one consulting or attend a seminar today! CCI

Hey, what I gotta do to get you into a pipeful of medicinal goodness?  Me?  Nah.  I was never much for the jigweed.  I smoked some dope.  Mostly, it was harsher than  month old opened packs of Raleigh's  and fogged over my manly classic Clubman* aftershave scent and aura. I did smoke a a joint of Jamaican an was rendered positively legless from its toxins.  I think that the last time I smoked dope was in  the spring 1974.   I made enough of goof out myself with beer.

I counselled my kids with these commandments.

• You can NOT drink a beer and then start a car engine, let alone drive
• You can not smoke dope - marijuana, weed, or whatever
• You can not take any drugs that do not come from Doctors. Vargas and McEntee.

Everything else is pretty much subject to negotiation.  Marijuana consumption is a spectator sport, because it is an illegal drug.  If you want to be employed, you may not piss hot - fail a drug test.

Medical marijuana is a new loop-hole industry destined to make ambulance chasers a tad richer.  The Hemp lobby is all about effecting historical change under the guise of helping to ease the sufferings of the afflicted and ensure that hipsters get to smoke weed.

Here is opening of the Medical Marijuana circus.

Personally, why not make any and all opiates legal and subject to tax via licensing?  Sick people should have anything that actually eases their sufferings - let's just cut out the dried, cured, most smoke-able and baked bullshit.

* I use only Pinaud-Clubman products.

Cardinal George and Pope Francis Say Exactly the Same Thing - Love Gays; Oppose Redefinition of Marriage

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all mysins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offendThee, my God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmlyresolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the nearoccasions of sin. Act of Contrition

“We cannot insist only on issues related to abortion, gay marriage and the use of contraceptive methods. This is not possible. I have not spoken much about these things, and I was reprimanded for that. But when we speak about these issues, we have to talk about them in a context. The teaching of the church, for that matter, is clear and I am a son of the church, but it is not necessary to talk about these issues all the time. " Pope Francis I

"Everybody is welcome,"but not everything we do can be acceptable. Not everything I do, and not everything anybody else does." Francis Cardinal George

I missed the part in the Pope Francis interview where he advocates homosexual marriage, a redefinition of marriage, a nod to abortion, or plea for free contraceptives.  However, deep thinkers like Pulitzer Prize winner Mary Schmich and the almost invisible Neil Steinberg are doing hand-stands and hugs over the latest cut and paste job by the social engineers.   

I oppose the idiotic and intellectually insulting Religious Freedom and Marriage Equality bully bill that has gone about as far as the Book of Mormon in making Illinois more like Lincoln and less like Joseph Smith, or Bishop Shiel, but wish all and sundry happiness.  The Civil Union bill was the advent of new dawn in civil and social living until Pat Quinn's ink dried on that legislation; at which point Stonewall became Selma and Illinois just could not wait. 

The Pope said nothing new in the article for the Jesuits run here in the States by America and nothing that Francis Cardinal George has not said at every turn in the twisted road to Illinois homosexual marriage and the necessary redefinition of marriage.  Sex outside of marriage is a sin- gay, straight, or solo.   Sex outside of marriage is not a crime, generally speaking.  The only persons that concern me with regard to sex are my kids and of course old Dad himself . . .as if.

Like I said above, Francis Cardinal George has never once uttered a calumny against any sinner.  Nor, has he ever issued a Catholic  Fatwah upon the heads of LGBTQs ever, or of any sort.  Pope Francis called the priesthood to task about their role as pastors ( read the damn article) and he especially mentioned homosexual sex and abortion within the context of the sacrament of Confession -

"We must always consider the person. Here we enter into the mystery of the human being. In life, God accompanies persons, and we must accompany them, starting from their situation. It is necessary to accompany them with mercy. When that happens, the Holy Spirit inspires the priest to say the right thing.“This is also the great benefit of confession as a sacrament: evaluating case by case and discerning what is the best thing to do for a person who seeks God and grace. The confessional is not a torture chamber, but the place in which the Lord’s mercy motivates us to do better. I also consider the situation of a woman with a failed marriage in her past and who also had an abortion. Then this woman remarries, and she is now happy and has five children. That abortion in her past weighs heavily on her conscience and she sincerely regrets it. She would like to move forward in her Christian life. What is the confessor to do?

Cardinal George explained "I think it's a good examination of conscience," George said outside Holy Name Cathedral, where he had just celebrated a Mass honoring couples married for 50 years. "I also think that he's coming from the viewpoint of a pastor who is close to the Lord and close to the people."

Then we get a Medill treatement of the Cardinal Archbishop's remarks, But George, a vocal opponent of gay marriage, warned that some had gone too far in seeing Pope Francis' interview as a move away from long-held church teachings on homosexuality, abortion and contraception"

Yep, a vocal opponent of gay marriage, just like Pope Francis.

"Everybody is welcome," George said, "but not everything we do can be acceptable. Not everything I do, and not everything anybody else does."

 Hell, I am welcome, even though my thoughts words and deeds can be unacceptable. . .wildly unacceptable. My beliefs are unacceptable to people who demand that I accept the notion that marriage can and must be not restricted to one man and one woman.  Now, what would those Mormons ridiculed in that boffo play think about that?   One man . . .two wives . . . three?  Does Greg Harris' religious freedom bill include Mormon polygamists?  Or, would that cast the LGBTQ community in the role of hot-headed and hysterical bigot?  Must a wife be human?  Some folks worship chicks and ducks and geese what better scurry!  How about a Dutch Wife? Oh, who cares about wives and WHo cares a fig about the Dutch?

Why sailors and members of the news media.

My most desperately wild 'dirty' thoughts are of Matt Helm movie variety; yet, I am thoroughly ashamed of their distracting imposition upon my better angels.  'And I detest all my  sins' including all of the fun ones.

Read the comments in the article concerning this matter in today's Tribune and tell me again  which side spews the real hate.

Something We All Need in a Big Way: American Exceptionalism - Miss Ella Fitzgerald, John Singer Sargent, Lionel Hampton, Sonny Burke Johnny Mercer and Nelson Riddle

, John Singer Sargent's American eye takes in a Street in Venice.



Lionel Hampton and Sonny Burke wrote an exquistite instrumentalwaterfall  in 1947.   One of America's greatest lyricists was driving along the California coast and heard this melody.  Johnny Mercer wrote these beautiful lyrics.

Your lips were like a red and ruby chalice
Warmer than the summer night
The clouds were like an alabaster palace
Rising to a snowy height
Each star its own Aurora Borealis
Suddenly you held me tight
I could see the midnight sun

I can't explain The silver rain that found me
Or was that a moonlit veil
The music of the Universe
Around me
Or was that a nightingale
And then your arms miraculously found me
Suddenly the sky turned pale
and I saw the midnight sun

Was there ever such a night
It's a thrill
I still don't quite believe
But after you were gone
There was still some
Stardust on my sleeve

The flame of it may dwindle
To an ember
And the stars forget to shine
And we may see the meadow in December
Icy white and crystaline
But oh my darling always I'll remember
When your lips were close to mine
And we saw the Midnight Sun
The Midnight Sun

In 1957, America's greatest voice, Miss Ella Fitzgerald, sang to Nelson Riddles charts with his orchestra.  This is what Americans do.

Tio Con Brio: Uncle Briskly's Voter Guide to the Illinois Primary for Governor

 Quinn and his guru - the Old Red Man of Progressive Illinois -Dr. Quentin Young -made people believe he was friend of Veterans in 2004 by belaboring the obvious.

It seems that Pat Quinn's enablers did a black bag job of some kind on Billy Daley and Mr. Daley opted out of the race.  The Tribune editorial ninnies (Bruce Dold) argue that Pat Quinn's Populist Bare-Knuckle brio scared the bejabbers out of the 'banker, working for a bank.'  No, sweethearts, the Tribune is not engineering this election as it did for Il Sen. Barack Obama.  The Sun Times hired the BGA, or vice versa and it planned to dredge up Axelrodian Tales of woe for the Daley Campaign.  The BGA couldn't find a drunk pay-day unless a politician took Andy Shaw's team into a joint and handcuffed them to chap fully Kreuzened and Jaeger fueled.  The Quinn Camp did a job on Bill Daley, it seems to me, and he did the noble Roman.

That just proves that Bill Daley is no Progressive. Progressives don't do noble.

Progressives survive after back-stabbing their sponsors and all who help them.  Jane Addams would be just another patrician Sapphist, unless Alderman Johnny Powers hadn't appointed her 19th Ward garbage commissioner.  Old lusty Jane turned on her sponsor.  Chart the career of a Mike Quigley, a Forrest Claypool, or a Pat Quinn and read Progressive. Policy trumps everything, but the nest payoff.

Bill Daley will be fine.  His campaign is over and after Friday, the back-stabbers and creeps who tend to be Progressives will have had all the fun at Mr. Daley's expense that they deserve and by Monday will have 'reached out'  to Daley's people and make nice.  Progressives would be tightly packed in Hyde Park, the Lake Front and suburban Evanston  were not for cynical attempts by old time Machine Democrats to co-opt the co-opters back in the 1970's.  Prior to that age of bad hair, worse fashion and too-hip-to be square politics, fellow travelling Marxists May-poled around Leo DesPres, or teased SDS glue sniffers into the barber shops and Northwestern, or University of Chicago law schools.

While the Brothers Daley were growing up, labor leaders wore black suits and packed heat to scare off not only gangsters but Reds, Commies, Fellow-travellers, members of Comintern USA, and university professors considered with the same awe as the house cat.  Once politicians who knew better admitted the Progressives into the tent the pissing hosed universal.  Shakman was taken seriously and larceny went from a hung-over city worker snoozing on the job and grabbing a few extra nickels to Organization suicide.

Dedicated soft-balls like Pat Quinn sat at the feet abortion-intoxicated Reds like Dr. Quentin Young and curried favor with Abner Mikva.  In 1972, the bad guys took over the Party of Andy Jackson and turned it into the Party of Andy Shaw. They did so in Miami.  Creeps, Grifters and Reds became mainstream with the assistance of blow-dried ninnies like Dan Rather and MadMen Ad people.  The recently assassinated Bobby Kennedy became a mythical life-member of Planned Parenthood and JFK became Gandhi G. Once goofs and short-term memory folks understood that RFK was not a deeply devout daily Communicant foe of Planned Parenthood it was a short hop to accepting nitwits like Dawn Clark Netsch, Barbar Flynn Currie, Jan Schakowsky, Mike Quigley and Toni Preckwinkle as intellectual titans.

Bill Daley would have been a good governor in the same manner that Mike Madigan is a great Speaker of the House.  They are competent and serious men.  Instead, thanks to Progressive thought, we continue to find Pat Quinn, Toni Preckwinkle and Barack Obama holding office.

I'd vote for Jack Ketch before I'd again give anything to Pat Quinn other than well-earned derission.  He is a proven Progressive and nothing more - personally and professional disloyal, shamefully incompetent, petulant, mewlingly submissive to enemies of the American middle class. Other than that, he miht just be a very nice man. . .. when he's home.

Read the comments from the Democratic and Progressive hucksters on Capitol Fax Blog about Bill Daley's exit from the race and you get a good feel for what it means to be a Progressive.  Butt-munching sycophants early in the day and howling dogs of prey once the Pavlovian Progressive signal is blown by its site manager.

I'm a Democrat.  I believe in real labor - the skilled and industrial trades who created America's middle class.  I am an unflinching Catholic opposed to abortion and a stupidly legislated bill that redefines marriage.

In the coming primary, I am going to vote for Tio Hardiman, a product of Progressive Democrats, as opposed to hapless Pat Quinn, a Progressive tool.

CHICAGO (AP) -- The man who's now the lone Democrat challenging Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn in the 2014 primary says he's staying in the race.
Tio Hardiman is the only candidate left after former White House Chief of Staff William Daley announced Monday that he's dropping out of the primary.
Hardiman is the former head of a Chicago anti-violence group CeaseFire.
In a statement, he says Daley's decision to drop out shows just how bad Illinois' political situation has become.
He adds Illinois residents "deserve a governor that reflects them" and who is prepared to "endure and not weaken."
Daley is set to discuss his decision during a news conference Tuesday.

Bill Daley is out.  Bruce Rauner? Nah.  GOP toe-shooter Bill Bradley? Nah.  Let's see what's left . . .not much.

God help us, help ourselves.

Tio Hardiman for Governor in Democratic Primary

“Faced with the prospect of five or nine years to try to dig the state out of the mess that it’s in, Bill decided that’s not what he’s wanting to do at age 65,” campaign spokesman Pete Giangreco said.


Bill Daley bowed out of the Democratic Gubernatorial Primary Race, yesterday. Today, Tio Hardiman remains the only Democrat in the race to unseat Gov. Pat Quinn of Planned Parenthood Illinois.Tio Hardiman is the wife beating family man and former chief of the Illinois Gang-banger Pensioners - Ceasefire.

If Thundering Dick Simpson of Mikva Industries says he has NO chance . . ."Hardiman’s efforts at the grassroots level are undeniable, but with no legislative or policy experience, and a domestic violence controversy looming over his head, Washington and Dick Simpson, Political Science chair at the University of Illinois—Chicago say he has no chance of repeating the same statewide success that other black officials like now-President and former Illinois Senator Barack Obama or former Senator turned Mayoral candidate Carol Moseley Braun have.. . . And Laura Washington says that Tio Hardiman is "a true community advocate. He is a true grassroots man,”  I just might be on the side of the angels, for once.

No Policy experience, says Thundering Dick - that's a plus. Policy is what killed government and government works best when politics is based upon loyalty. 
What could go wrong?  Illinois.

Gov. Pat Quinn has all of the loyalty and commitment of an English Springer Spaniel; if you want to know where you stand with Pat Quinn, wait until Personal PAC Boss Terry Cosgrove lets him know. That said, I believe that recent revelations printed in the Chicago Sun Times concerning CTA and RTA transportation moguls with a little Breakfast Burge Mythology on the side for post-prandial snacking.were spoon fed to the always hapless BGA by the Quinn-ippiac Clown Posse,    You can call Bill Daley "Banker" six-ways to Sunday, but this other stuff?  Hold the phone.

Given these exciting trends in the race for our Palace of Versailles in Springfield, Tio Hardiman has my vote for the Democratic Primary for Governor.

I do not believe that Emily's List, Planned Parenthood or Terry Cosgrove's Personal PAC will endorse Tio Hardiman.  I know how Tio will spend Illinois dollars and so do the Feds.

Bike Terror - Even Chicks Who Are Tops Get Knocked: Nicole Kidman and a Total Jag Collide

Nicole Kidman can make getting knocked down by a cyclist look good, but I gotta ask, Is  thatpost-it note on her pumps de rigeur?

Cyclists are jags.  They are always decked out in goofy outfits that our Moms would never let us wear out in public for fear of a well-deserved trimming from the tough guys over-by-White Hen. Cyclists tend to be tall, lean, non-smokers with the personalities of dial tones.

Cyclists are public policy darlings: Green, Lean-Cuisine, PC Mean.

They never seem to be African American, Mexican American, Asian American, or Working American Blue Collar-Tight-Knight Ethnics.

Now, that is of course my handy broad brush, or extra-roller screwed to an extendable idiot-stick for hard to reach places.  Good people do ride bicycles, but they tend to do so without the Lance Armstrong EuroTrash Poser rigouts and obey the laws of traffic and physics.

Cyclists, or Bike Terrorists, go where they will in any direction and always against the traffic lights and common courtesy. Here is one that did not get away with his crime:

Nicole Kidman has been knocked over by a cyclist and according to reports, is planning on pressing charges.The actress was returning to her hotel after attending the Calvin Klein show on Thursday as part of New York Fashion Week.Nicole fell to the ground when she was hit by a photographer named Carl Wu, who was apparently racing to try and take a picture for her.

"Uh, Oh! Carl Wu!," you say, " that obliterates your above demographic premise about Asian Americans.

Really?  Carl?  Mr. and Mrs. Wu decided to celebrate their inner-Viking or Teuton by naming the lad Carl. Nope, Cal is a Jag.

Carl is all hog-tied in his ride and while every man-jack with an ounce of testosterone is fighting to help up the leggy rehead akimbo - no one aids Carl until the stunning woman in dove grey frock is pawed by the available lads.

Then, an African American pedestrian offers his manly mitt to Carl


While Carl's stutter-bug accomplice Nils, or Bjorn, or Sigurd Ho shoots pics. He's a jag as well.

Ride a bike; don't be a jag - a cyclist.