The Can't Miss 'Tribune New Plan of Chicago' - The Escher Template

This can't miss!



Macro Escherian* Plan of Chicago

Busy Chicagoans scurry about their particular . . . what's another word for business . . .walk of life . . .yeah that's good . . .walk of life.  Very secular PC and NPR monotone  Yeah, Walk of Life.

Chicagoans, under the Old Plan, walked with great speed and purpose.   “New York for a moment does not compare with Chicago in the roar and bustle and bewilderment of its street life, ”  wrote the Scottish writer William Archer. The winner of the 1st Pulitzer for fiction was Chicago investment house scion turned Marxist Ernest Poole, wrote in 1940 of the wild Mack Sennett quality of Chicago pedestrians fighting time and the bridges over the Chicago River to meet appointments.

I remember reading accounts of the break-neck pace of Chicagoans in the Daniel Burnham days of the Columbian Exhibition, which produced the first moving sidewalk - now, a feature of most airports.  Also, notable the Parliament of World Religions, absent Roman Catholics and Jews it seems, kick-started the one world-ism  Godless secular spiritualism template for Progressives that is so evident in 2013.

Chicagoans needed to slow-down and reconsider un-born children as a root cause for misery, only equaled by Woman's Suffrage, Prohibition and Theosophical Governance of the many, by the few and for the few

The post-Burnham Chicago saw the American Middle Class.  The post-1972 Democratic Convention Chicago worked for forty years to erase the American Middle Class.  Chicagoans are told what to think and do by people born in Southern Illinois or Highland Park, Illinois.  Real 2013 Chicagoans came from elsewhere with scads of disposable income thickened by shrewd political investments with government sinecures.

Imagine if each individual Chicagoan had the earnest, forthright, vapid and compelling resume of a Forrest Claypool (Parks, Salaried boards, County Board, CTA), moving with unchecked ease up onto another level of sweet-paying  unaccountable walk of life.   Now, that would be something.  Big Plans!

Breeders will be  and should be encouraged to take their walk of life outside of the City proper and enter only when needed to build, clean, serve and protect Chicago - the smaller, smarter safer Chicago.



Micro Escherian Plan of Chicago Small Communities -formerly known as neighborhoods.

Neighborhood is code for homophobic, close-knit ethnic breeders - non minorities; equally Un Evolved Minorities live in Communities: The Un-Evolved whose children get killed on Safe Passages, clamor for better schools for those children, go to church, work at jobs, pay taxes, fees and fines, but get upset about Ventra Cards, Divvy bike terminals taking up parking spaces and cameras. They can take their private schools with them, unless they can turned into Charters or Magnets out of the Smart Sized Esherian Chicago.

In the grand scheme of things, an individual will reside in some geographic garbage grid, unencumbered by a biologically workable spouse and the subsequent spawn . . .with his/her large dog taken out to open air and enclosed cafes on his/her walk of life.

Think big - think Escher; think like Medill.

* M.C. Escher: Maurits Cornelis -Call me "Mauk!" Escher -Dutch Graphic Artist 1998-1972.
aka -Macro Chicago Escher
aka -Micro Chicago Escher

Chicago Tribune Editorial - " Hey, Folks! We Had a Huge Part in Lousing Up Chicago; Now, Let's All Help Planning the Funeral!"

For more than forty years, The Chicago Tribune Editorial Board has been in the vanguard of the coalition of advocates, academics and activists who have helped turn Chicago away from The Machine and towards the Mistake on the Lake! Now, that Chicago has become everything that the Tribune has demanded it become, like a Gold Coast Dowager with a fat divorce settlement and thirty years of Rush Street Cosmo -promiscuity and concomitant liposuction, the Kids on Board want an urban intervention.

The Tribune has poured oceans of ink on Chicago's — forgive the euphemism — urban problems. Treating them as individual diseases is convenient for us, convenient for readers, just convenient: Write another series, then preserve it in a digital folder marked Crime, or Schools, or Jobs, or Family Breakdown, or City Finances.
What we haven't done as rigorously is examine the whole patient: the still-sturdy skeleton of Chicago on which holistic remedies might be built.

Yep, about as appealing as smooching the old Cougar's cold sores, that is.

With decades of patient and gutless group thought,  the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board has achieved everything Abner Mikva learned from Saul Alinsky.   Chief Keef gets more publicity than the Special Olympics and deceased gang-bangers more respect than Francis Cardinal George.

For better than forty years the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board worked to make sure that everyone takes this person very seriously, and questions the values, aspirations and intentions of these people


For forty plus years the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board worked 24/7 to

• Undermine any and all confidence in the Justice System - see Peoples Law Office, Loevy & Loevy, Bernardine Dohrn, Medill School of Journalism and the Centers for Wrongful Anything
• Call for every idiotic tax necessary - see  Ralph Martire
• Back protected political grifters and lightweights - see Forrest Claypool et al
• Assault the Catholic Church particularly and religion generally - See John Kass' great column*
• Demand larcenous policies for education - See the Tribune Editorials c. 1968-2013
• Equate sexual behavior with race - ibid.
• Denigrate Skilled Tradesmen - Promote SEIU Marxism with Labor -ibid.
• Censor and obliterate the past -ibid.
• Promote the Selfish -ibid.
• Denigrate the Competent - ibid.
• Examine only the approved point of view -ibid.
• Ignore Consequences - See Detroit

Now, Hyde Park Mafia's paper of record wants Stella & Stosh, Marty & Maeve, Curtis & Clara, Dash & Dot to come up with master plan that would make Danny Burnham fill his britches!

Here's my plan .. . .Go . . .try to show some respect for people who actually make a difference in lives of people.

Seriously, cite every suggestion proposed by this band of lemmings at Joe Medill's rag and walk things back.

* Best reason to read the Tribune, other than High School Sports

Though The Hipster-Cool Cities Plan Has Failed Everywhere Else, Chicago Continues Its Drive to the Hoop - You Know, South, West and North of the Loop

Hipster's Dream City!

Burning money trying to become “cooler” ends up looking something like the metropolitan equivalent to a midlife crisis. Joel Kotkin

We had a Leo Alumni meeting at Father Perez Knights of Columbus Council 1444 in Mount Greenwood here on the south side last night.  It was great.  Irish kids from the Classes of 1943, '44 and &  and Black Kids from the 70's, 80's and 90's.  There were about sixty kids all told -For Light-hearted Boys Make the Best of Old Man, as the Irish song goes.



The Alumni Banquet is upon us and the class captains reported on tables purchased followed by President Dan McGrath's report on the school.  Leo High School was represented by Dan, Mike Holmes '76, Coach Noah Cannon '91 and yours truly.  Prior to the start of the meeting Mike and Noah spoke of the march of folly by CPS in the closing of neighborhood schools. "Where are the kids from Alonzo Stagg Elementary supposed to go?"  Aldermen who support Mayor Rahm in all things are now faced by their constituents and the race card is tossed freely, as in all things necessry to the subject.

(Alderman Carrie) Austin said she had not been told which schools in her far South Side ward are in line to be shut down. But most of the schools targeted by the district are in predominantly black neighborhoods on the South and West sides
"I don't think anything is a done deal in this city. I'm not going to let them do this to us, not again," she said. "Every time the whites get to screaming and hollering, they back off and steamroll over black and brown folks. Not this time."

This time and everytime, Carrie; make book on it.  It is not a white and black issue.  It is the PLAN.  The PLAN is to eliminate neighborhoods by shooing the helots (white,black,brown,and pale) the Hell out of Chicago's City Limits by whatever means necesary ( Ventra Cards, crumby to closed schools, thug comfort zones, idiotic ordinances and the attached fees, property tax increases and garbage grid boondoggles).

The PLAN has a goal of -CHICAGO Urban Center City.  This has been brewing from the time that Richie Daley took to hanging around University of Chicago dudes and turned his back on Bridgeport friends.  Daley took Frank Krusie -the CTA genius, Forrest Claypool -the job hopper and CTA genius, the Hyde Park Mafia ( John Rogers, Valerie Jarrett, Judson Miner, Allison Davis, Bill Ayers and Arne Duncan) and told the bad boys of the Hamburg Club to stay off his porch.

• Bike Lanes -Good!
• Red Line Safe & On Time -Bad
• Red Light Cameras -Good
• Cops and Firefighters -Bad
• City Services - Bad
• Open Green Spaces -Good
• Churches and the People Who Go to Them-Very Bad
• Hooka Centers -Very, Very Good
• Schools -Who Cares ! We Have Degrees from Columbia! Make Chicago Your Classroom!
• Neighborhoods - Unevolved: Too many Breeders and their damn kids with their Parades; we need Green Spaces and Bike Lanes

See? Progressive, going back to the 1970's.

The idea of the PLAN is that by creating a Creative/Intellectual Demographic as the urban core population, all the other pains-in-the ass folks black, white, brown, or pale could get the Hell out and visit Urban Center Chicago on holidays, the weekends, and when paying traffic, parking and City Ordinance fees.

Urban Centers, a comfort-zone for affluent childless couples, single secular degree'd, Progressive, fitness conscious, trendy urban pioneers, has been the template for city government too lazy, corrupt, or Progressive to make thoughtful investments in time, treasure and talent to provide adequate services to the tax-payers who dwell in neighborhoods.

This template cracked under the weight of its own folly, the Geography of hipness:

Geography of Hip Coolness

Perhaps the best that can be said about the creative-class idea is that it follows a real, if overhyped, phenomenon: the movement of young, largely single, childless and sometimes gay people into urban neighborhoods. This Soho-ization—the transformation of older, often industrial urban areas into hip enclaves—is evident in scores of cities. It can legitimately can be credited for boosting real estate values from Williamsburg, Brooklyn, Wicker Park in Chicago and Belltown in Seattle to Portland’s Pearl District as well as much of San Francisco.
Yet this footprint of such “cool” districts that appeal to largely childless, young urbanistas in the core is far smaller in most cities than commonly reported. Between 2000 and 2010, notes demographer Wendell Cox, the urban core areas of the 51 largest metropolitan areas—within two miles of the city’s center—added a total of 206,000 residents. But the surrounding rings, between two and five miles from the core, actually lost 272,000. In contrast to those small gains and losses, the suburban areas—between 10 and 20 miles from the center —experienced a growth of roughly 15 million people.
The smallness of the potentially “hip” core is particularly pronounced in Rust Belt cities such as Cleveland and St. Louis, where these core districts are rarely home to more than 1 or 2 percent of the city’s shrinking population. Yet the subsidy money for developers is often justified in the name of “reviving” the entire city, most of which has continued to deteriorate.

The Politics of Hipness -

Investments in “cool” districts may well appeal to some young professionals, particularly before they get married and have children. But overall, as Florida himself now admits, it has done little overall for the urban middle class, much less the working class or the poor.
Indeed in many ways the Floridian focus on industries like entertainment, software, and social media creates a distorted set of economic priorities. The creatives, after all, generally don’t work in factories or warehouses. So why assist these industries? Instead the trend is to declare good-paying blue collar professions a product of the past. If you can’t find work in deindustrialized Michigan, suggests Salon’s Ray Fisman, one can collect “ more than a few crumbs” by joining the service class and serving food, cutting hair or grass in creative capitals like San Francisco or Austin.
These limitations of the “hip cool” strategy to drive broad-based economic growth have been evident for years. Conservative critics, such as the Manhattan Institute’sSteve Malanga have pointed out that many creative-class havens often underperform economically compared to their less hip counterparts. More liberalacademic analysts have denounced the idea as “ exacerbating inequality and exclusion.” One particularly sharp critic, the University of British Columbia’s Jamie Peck see it as little more than a neo-liberal recipe of “biscotti and circuses.”
Urban thinker Aaron Renn puts it in political terms: “the creative class doesn’t have much in the way of coattails.”

And as today's Tribune CPS feature displays - RACE - The very people

On paper, the “creative class” theory worships at the altar of diversity. “The great thing about cities,” Florida told NPR last year, “is they're diverse. There's diverse people in them.” Yet even leaving aside their lack of economic diversity, the exemplars of “hip cool” world, notes urban analyst Renn, tend to be vanilla cities with relatively small minority populations. San Francisco, Portland and Seattle are becoming whiter and less ethnically diverse as the rest of the country, andparticularly the suburbs, rapidly diversify.
Creatives may espouse politically correct views, but the effect of Florida’s policy approach, notes Tulane sociologist Richard Campanella, often undermine ethnic communities. As they enter the city, creatives push up rents, displacing local stores and residents. In his own neighborhood of Bywater, in New Orleans, the black population declined by 64 percent between 2000 and 2010, while the white population increased by 22 percent.
In the process, Campanella notes, much of what made the neighborhood unique has been lost as the creatives replace the local culture with the increasingly predictable, and portable, “hip cool” trendy restaurants, offering beet-filled ravioli instead of fried okra, and organic markets. The “unique” amenities you find now, even in New Orleans, he reports, are much what you’d expect in any other hipster paradise, be it Portland, Seattle, Burlington, Vermont or Williamsburg.

The very people whom Urban Creative Hipster Centers must please simply can not do without the very people they so detest - the middle class breeders of all races.  The Creative and Hip cannot fix a sink, a time for an appointment, much less a government official.  The helots who go to the precinct captain in order to tidy up a playground are scorned by the Creative Secular Urban Dweller as thoroughly unevolved.  That is why a hard-hitting newspaper series on corruption tracks the misadventures of some poor slob who takes the odd nap on his shovel and ignores the Global Inbred Corruption of a CTA President who could not tell you how MPG a bus gets, let alone start one who manages to finesse editorial boards into ignore the roots of Bombardier/Ventra scams.

The PLAN is working to make Chicago an Urban Center, but Urban Centers don't work.

"Where are the kids from Amos Alonzo Stagg Elementary supposed to go to school?"  Not in the PLAN that is for sure.

CTA Commissar Claypool Warns Pope Francis " You Come to My Town; You Better Have That Ventra!"

In this 2008 photo Presidential Guru David Axelrod, sporting a swell piece from Hair Club for Men, rode the Buenas Aires Subway on an Obama Green Energy study.   The Progressive Argentine government offered its passengers the opportunity to 'share the wealth' with its Ventra Cards. On this particular fact-finding junket, Chicago's-own Comb Over Dave asked the Stiff Collar in seat next to him -"What's in Your Wallet?"

That became the mantra of the Obama White House 2008-Present.

The Kirchner Government won the hearts and minds of the Obama Campaign with its no-nonsense approach to eliminating the middle class. Mr. & Mrs. Kirchner were pals of Bill Ayers' pal Hugo Chavez and immediately made was on Argentine farmers - it's a Progressive thing.



Things were not as snuggly between the then Archbishop of Buenas Aiires and Mr. & Mrs. Kirchner, because the Catholic priest was so unevolved and always on the wrong side history. In 2010, after her visit to Red China Mrs. Kirchner made Same Sex Marriage the Rage in Buenas Aires and abortion as easy to get as Gaucho britches. Likewise, Peoples Transportation is what it is!

Here in Chicago, the appointed CTA Boss Forrest Claypool stuffed the CTA Board with Progressive ninnies like Jon Bouman *and Party hacks like Jackie Grimshaw; therefore the CTA operates like a Moscow street-car. Hey, it works in Caracas!!!!

 Forrest Claypool is the bright boy who finagled the Bombardier -Canuck/Red China Trains that Don't Fit The Tracks Boondoggle! He is the Commissar who fought pee breaks for CTA workers!  Forrest Claypool is a job-hopping lightweight with a Kevlar Resume.

Now, Claypool, like President Obama and the South American Dictator Community Activists is help the struggling middle class and the poor by divesting them of money that they will only spend on themselves and their children anyway.

 Ventra has come under criticism for the embedded fees in the program for CTA riders who purchase single-ride “L” fares. Riders who purchase disposable single-ride tickets will be charged the standard $2.25 rail fare, a 25-cent transfer fee (regardless of whether or not the rider uses the transfer) and a 50-cent “limited use media fee.” Critics of the program accuse CTA of penalizing the poor with these fees, to which CTA President Forrest Claypool took umbrage. Claypool and supporters of Ventra insist the embedded fees are targeted for tourists and riders who don’t rely on CTA as their primary means of transportation.Claypool did his best to parse the fare increase after the meeting and insisted the Ventra system wouldn’t cost riders any extra, if they only bothered to use it.

“There is no $3 cash fare,’’ he said. “The $3 is if a person chooses a disposable, one-ride ticket. It has nothing to do with cash.’’

You get that?  There is no $3 cash fare! There's no $3 cash fare!  There's no Crying in baseball! It has nothing to do with cash, Stupid!  $3!  You put $3 in the single ticket for the $ 2.25 rail fare!

“There is no $3 cash fare,’’ he said. “The $3 is if a person chooses a disposable, one-ride ticket. It has nothing to do with cash.’’

So, anyway!  The Pope rides public transportation and I dare say he has wiped more puke, pee, peanuts and papers off the plastic seats of a train or a bus than Forrest Claypool, Jackie Grimshaw, or Jon Bouman.  Book that, G!

If Pope Francis I, who fell afoul of Friends of Obama in the Western Land Down Under ever visits Chicago to hang out with the working stiffs, the dying and those awful homeless people, His Holiness had better pack a Progressive Ventra Card!


*"John Bouman expressed reservations over the system because of the appearance social service agencies that buy single-ride passes from the agency would pay more on paper for the new Ventra passes." . . .can't have APPEARANCES!  That is what Fatima is for! Progressive believe in science, reason and the appearance of honesty, boy howdy!

Forrest "Cartoons" Claypool Asks Fat Cats To Go Halves on Train Robbery!

The CTA is receiving strong and enthusiastic feedback from the private sector about investing in two mega-projects along the Red and Purple lines that the transit agency could not afford to undertake on its own for many years, CTA President Forrest Claypool said Monday. Chicago Tribune, a subsidiary of Medill Enterprises and Northwestern University think tanks.

Hey, Chicago! Are as Shickled TitLess as the Chicago News Media and CTA Payroller Forrest Claypool about the greedy 1% -er Fat Cats of Goldman Sachs (Obama Approved) going snacks with us on the Purple/Red Lines?

Forrest Claypool, the government payroll hopping Goo-Goo and Boss Fighter, whose beak is always soaked in tax dollars, is that same daffy Forrest Claypool who bought defective wheels from Red China that went on bum Canadian made railway cars that were the wrong gauge for the rail tracks of the CTA!  He's the same Forrest Claypool who wanted to save nickels by timing the pee-breals of CTA employees.  He's a Progressive! And He's a howl!

CTA officials and financial adviser Goldman Sachs are studying potential public-private partnerships to construct the proposed Red Line extension to 130th Street, and to demolish and rebuild track, aging stations and crumbling viaduct structure on the North Side, from north of the Belmont station through Evanston, Claypool told a gathering of transportation experts at Northwestern University.

Yeah, this can't miss. SkyWay, Parking Meters, Red Light cameras . . .should be . . .just a dandy caper!  Goldman Sacks Chicago!

At Issue - CBS Radio Chicago Plays Softball with Cook County Crypt Keeper Toni Preckwinkle

Toni tells another of her disarming knee-slappers.

Catholic school testing begins this morning and in order to get the young scholars' sugar supply honing their brain-pans as sharp as their # 2 pencils, this old boy picked up a whole mess of Dunkin Donut  Long Johns and Donuts and orange juice early this AM.

Kareem and the crew at the 104th Street Station had the load ready to go and I enjoyed the cruise to Leo with WXRT's broadcast of CBS Chicago's At Issue with Craig Dellimore and his guest Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle.

Now, to be perfectly fair, I believe that Mrs. Preckwinkle is as sharp as a bowling ball and as bright as our sun when fully eclipsed.  Hey, I'm just sayin'!

You see, Dame Preckwinkle is a member of the untouchable political caste of Progressive darlings: The Debs ( Mell and Shore), Doyens like Hit The Help Jan Schakowsky,  Red Dawn Clark Netsch, office roving mendicants Forrest Claypool,  Mike Quigley, silly goose Joe Moore, or the malocclusion varietals Sheila Simon, , Dave Orr & etc.  These folks get a pass universal from the media . . .until they become roadkill like Sandy and Jesse Jackson.

A Progressive fallen from grace's past due date is usually marked by a Carol Marin piece. GREEN LIGHT! - Indicted IL Rep. LaShawn Ford is still officially off-limits; until Rep.  Ricky Hendon -Emeritus points to the kittens in LaShawn's basement freezer.

Prior to such time, they belong to the Ain't They Great narrative

This standard and compelling narrative holds that Toni Preckwinkle, a Progressive pet-politician,  as quick on the draw as Django Unchained and smarter than Rachel Maddow on payday. Sadly, I have yet to experience anything, empirical or in public record, to support this meme.

My last personal encounter with the tardy and dour Dame Preckwinkle, occured during the waning days of her campaign for President and Pat Quinn's hoodwinking of the workers rally in Mount Greenwood.  It rained cats and dogs and hundreds of Union men and women from the real trades, Electricians, Carpenters, Engineers, Pipe-fitters and Laborers, many who would be laid off by Dame Preckwinkle months after she took Todd Stroger's seat, waited in the downpour - Replacement Governor Pat Quinn arrived shortly before the start of the rally, but Toni Preckwinkle was running late . . .real late. . . .she'll be there when she gets there. . .!  The perfect person for a grey rainy day, Toni Preckwinkle -late, unapologetic and unsmiling.

Folks got wet. No apoplogies.  Just Vote for Toni and Governor Squeezey! We did, more dummies us.  Hey, I'm just sayin' . . .!

Anyhoo, . . .Toni  is in the driver's seat at the Cook County Board - boss of St. Roger Hospital, All the Forest Preserves, Cook County Jail, the Sheriff and of course the Cook County Morgue and Craig Dellimore joined the President in her office for a chin-wag.

Give this AM's At Issue show a listen.  Mr. Dellimore asks about

•  the Cook Count Budget and Toni's bullet taxes
• Slot machine taxes
• Gay Marriage and religious intolerance and why black ministers are like Cardinal George
• Springfield
• Alderman Mell's movie reviews
• Props to Todd's sales tax

Softballs all and tossed under-hand  with mucho simpatico; all to which The Crypt Keeper answered with the metaphorical bat never leaving her globose shoulder

• "I don't have the figures( 4Xs by my count on budget items along with an odd equine gafaw concerning the budget extent)
• "Can't say at this time"
• Right Side of History from a history teacher
• " I don't know no Springfield!"
• " Nice Man, but I hate him."
• " As if . . ."

Toni was Toni, snarky, disdainful and as interesting as a dial tone.

Toni's Crypt - AKA -Cook County Morgue

The Late Mr. Khan

Most shocking, given the fact that a recent Lotto Winner became morgue-friendly, news hound Dellimore asked not a jot about the Cook County Crypt Kept by Dame Preckwinkle nor the state of the score of stiffs stacked like Chesty Morgan.?

Craig Dellimore no way asked "How's the Morgue, Toni?  How's she stackin'  there, Tee?"

No way he'd ask about the Crypt Keeper's Manchild Kyle going all Vanecko on some homeless dude.

Those questions are for the unprotected species of public and private person.

Hey, I'm just sayin'!

Steve Rhodes - A Real Newsman: CTA Failure to Launch New Rail Cars Makes N. Korea Look Like NASA in the 1960's

" Claypool! What's all this, then???? This simply will not do, my good man. These bloody Sino-Canuck Bombardier Wheels are bloody well defective! I suspect foul'd play. The Games afoot! . . .again. What?"

CTA officials said the no-bid component had nothing to do with scuttling the deal and that Emanuel had encouraged it all along.

"Very early, even before he took office, he asked me how we might turn this billion-dollar expenditure into an opportunity for jobs," said CTA President Forrest Claypool, who was appointed to the post shortly after Emanuel's inauguration. "So when I took office we took that mandate and ran with it."

Claypool described the Bombardier proposal as a "very, very rare potential for a win-win. The goal was a noble one. "

Chicago Tribune April 12, 2012

North Korea, which had described the launch as that of a space satellite, said the rocket failed soon after lift-off and plunged into the Pacific. ABC News

"Through an aggressive but targeted public, community and government relations campaign, Bombardier sought:

* To inform CTA officials, local government and business leaders of the growing presence of Bombardier as a part of Chicago-area commerce and industry.
* To educate key constituencies about the successful engagements Bombardier has with transit agencies in other major areas around the country and the world.

* To build a team of allies to welcome them into the market and feel comfortable with the company's products and level of customer service.

* To create a favorable impression the Chicago media market by highlighting and promoting unique attributes and initiatives of the Bombardier Transportation N.A. to specialty and general market media.


Mission not yet accomplished.

Steve Rhodes Beachwood Reporter



North Korea fired its missile with all of the potency of an ED addled mope.

Closer to home Forrest Claypool's masterful roll out of Bombardier rail cars last year matched the young Tyrant's magic moment yesterday.

Unsatisfying.

North Korea is impotent, but dangerous.

CTA is in the hands of a master job jumper with the Illinois Progressive imprimatur. Failure to roll: Launch, Roll, Noble Goal.

Steve Rhodes highlighted the excellent and tenacious work of Chicago Tribune reporter John Hilkevich who unearthed cast off wheels of the Bombardier CTA Boondoggle from China to Canada to the Fifth Floor of City Hall and various phone lines and cyber-relays of the CTA with pith and poignant note.

Steve Rhodes has more integrity than Marcus Aurelius on a full breakfast. The Beachwood Reporter is the only news clearing house in Chicago untainted by cant, compensation. or courtship.

Dig how he do roll - Beachwood Reporter Ethics Pledge

http://www.beachwoodreporter.com/house/beachwood_ethics_statement.php


NBC tried to buy Steve Rhodes a couple of years ago and was told to pound sand in thunder.

You do not need to agree with Steve Rhodes or the talented staff of the Beachwood Reporter and he and they could care less. The point of journalism is to give truth a place at the table set with too many dishes and places by gluttons, drunks and dummies.

I am aware of Forrest Claypool's resume and remain as underwhelmed by his obvious talents and charms as I have for years. The Bombardier Boondoggle ( click my post title for a thorough close reading of John Hilkevich's work by Steve Rhodes) more than lived up my expectations.

For any summary and fair redaction of what is going on in Chicago go to the Beachwood Reporer. You will get a considered opinion free of Mammon's tickle.

Brewer's Droop, ED, Failure to Launch result from many factors.

Corruption ditto.

Kevin Myers defines the germ of corruption this way - Corruption is made possible by low standards: what is unpunctuality, but a disdain for rules?

The plumbers or electricians who don't show up on time are the building-blocks that make possible the Ziggurat of large-scale corruption. Kevin Myers last column for the Irish Independent

Myers' point; what we accept; we get - good and hard and with great regularity.

We accepted Blago. Some folks fully accept Forrest Claypool -


Here's little more on Chicago CTA Bombardier Navigator Forrest " Noble Goal" Claypool.

http://hickeysite.blogspot.com/2012/03/rahm-wasnt-bilked-in-day-took-many.html

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-04-12/news/ct-met-cta-bombardier-20120412_1_cta-president-forrest-claypool-cta-lawyers-cta-officials

Rahm Wasn't Bilked in a Day - Took Many Months on the CTA

Let Me Tell All a Story 'Bout Dude Named Forrest/Who Never, Ever Had a Bad Day.
He's got money in his pocket 'n no 'countabilly/ He's President of the CTA!

From the Man Who Never Leaves -Forrest on the CTA

I wonder if Rahm Emanuel's 1st Anniversary as Mayor of Chicago -Urban Center - will be as joyous as one might think it should be. . . prolly nut, as young but cynical Danny McGuinn (3yrs) might opine.

What a year!

G-8 - bagged by the guy in the Oval with only an hour's notice.

CTA wheels from Red China prove a brittle as a CTA gandy-dancer's pee-stream in most Chicago winters.

Governors, Mayors, Cops, Firemen, Catholic Archbishops, City Workers always get lousy treatment from the Chicago Media. However, there are folks the media protects, like they were Lladro pieces. Three come to mind immediately - G. ( "Gimme") Flint Taylor, Andy Thayer and Forrest Claypool are about the Chicagoans who never seem to go away: G is an ambulance chasing Cadillac Commie; Andy Thayer is a speech challenged pan-Activitht Media Goof; Forrest Claypool gets appointed to everything and anything. These unexamined lives are worth living . . .why exactly?


Last April, Rahm appointed Forrest Claypool President of the CTA, when job-jumping, experience unnecessary Forrest, chirped "You don’t negotiate in public. … There’s obviously significant financial problems at CTA, but that’s part of the discussions and negotiations.” Like Bombardier?

Oh. Hell no! Unless it is to tune-up helot CTA workers, Forrest don't meet the press.

. Forrest quickly showed his cost-cutting mettle by denying CTA employees Pee Breaks . . .damn them perks!

Claypool trotted out the new L-Cars from the good Folks at Bombardier Canada on my Birthday of all days! November 8, 2011 not only did I turn 59 years old enough to know better, but "Mayor Rahm Emanuel and CTA President Forrest Claypool today unveiled new 5000-series rail cars. . .
After a successful prototype testing period, the first of 706 brand new, full production model cars will debut on the Pink Line. As more cars continue to arrive, they will be tested internally to ensure all components are operating properly before going into service. “The 5000-series cars provide a more enjoyable ride for customers,” said CTA President Forrest Claypool. “These cars have wider aisles and roomier interiors, electronic destination signs and security cameras in each car for enhanced safety.”

BUT the wheels disintegrate! Shortly, thereafter, the cars were pulled. The new 5 000 Series -Chinese Wheels and all, like their sponsor,Forrest Claypool, remain without any previous experience.

Now, purchase of these fine products with wheels made in Red China were no doubt greassed along the tracks long before Mayor Rahm.

Forrest Claypool owns the 5000 series, unless he cares to divulge the names and wallet sizes of those who made a proper profit along the way.
The media won't be mean to Forrest. In fact, Mike Sneed and Carol Marin will get the poor sad-eyed mope a plate of Lorna Doone's and a big-ass glass of ice-cold Oberweiss, while petting the lad for his troubles brought on by Bosses.

In a real world Claypool would be fitted for a swell-two button Pee Yellow jacket with CTA Wheels for buttons. Instead the Mayor will get the heat.

No wonder Mayor Rahm has 'Coon Eyes.

He's The Man Who Ne'er Leaves, But Always Returns in Some new Capacity

http://www.cityofchicago.org/content/city/en/depts/mayor/press_room/press_releases/2011/november_2011/mayor_emanuel_andctapresidentforrestclaypoolunveilnewrailcars.html
http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/4915438-418/rahm-emanuel-picks-forrest-claypool-to-head-cta.html

There's a whole bunch here:

https://news.google.com/news/more?q=forrest+claypool+CTA+%26+bombardier+Cars&hl=en&pwst=1&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&rlz=1I7GGIH_enUS268&prmd=imvnsuo&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&biw=999&bih=579&wrapid=tlif133130686039210&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ncl=dbpcllPVcbLTS6MmIwlxMzpzkS_5M&ei=VCFaT5GIFcqigwewkfGhCw&sa=X&oi=news_result&ct=more-results&resnum=1&ved=0CDcQqgIwAA

Progressive Polonius -Thundering Dick Simpson on Corruption? When the Statutes of Limitation Run out?

Now, Here's A Pair of Aces to Draw to! Simpson of UICC follows Shaw of BGA -"Two Guys Corruption Plumbing" - Open for Bids!

‘Hath there been a time — I would fain know that —
That I have positively said ‘ ‘Tis so’,
When it proved otherwise?’ Polonius - The Master P of Hamlet

Alderman Dick Simpson was 44th Alderman between 1971 and 1979 - the tumultuous fin de siècle of Mayor Richard J. Daley's Rule of Chicago.

Eddie Vrdolyak and Ed Burke were the Young Turks. Billy Singer and later Marty Oberman ran the 43rd Ward. Radical eminence gris Leon Despres, who, along with Marty Oberman were the last lions of genuine integrity claimed by Progressives, continued as the voice of Hyde Park. Ald. Depres was the real deal and genuine gentleman.


Dick Simpson was part of the 44th Ward encompassing Lakeview from Diversy to the Cemetery and the Lake to Clinton - jogging in and out some. It is an affluent, transient land of restaurants, amusements, nightclubs and apartments, so attractive to single, childless and cash-handy professionals, students, activists and boutique capitalists.


The 44th was run at one time by John Merlo who could trace his political lineage back to Al Capone, which Dick Simpson artfully noted in his latest 'study.'

Dick Simpson tossed off the mortal coils of politics in 1979 and paved the way for Bernie Hansen, who begot Tom Tunney at the say so of Mayor Richard M. Daley, in order to don the gown at Cement City - University of Illinois Chicago Campus UICC -in order to articulate his political wisdom to kids needing a Poly Sci credit.

Dick Simpson, whose public record is buried Googlishly somewhere in the cybersphere, or in the dusty but pricey archives of our great metropolitan newspaper, surfaced on occasion to burnish his Progressive Street Cred and take picture s with Billy Ayers. Dick Simpson wrote pieces for the Sun Times under Cheryl Reed's Spanish Civil War Reenactment phase and occasionally trotted out studies of his own, like that dandy one a few years ago trumpeting the new age of Aldermanic Independence in 2006.

For frame of refernce, dear reader, Ald. Joe Moore is Dick Simpson these days, at least until he gets that new gig with the State. See? Okay.

The always accurate Russ Stewart noted Daffy Dick's fatuous 2006 study of Chicago's Fighting Bob LaFollete City Council, after Stewart had noted that the Joe Moore-varietal aldermen were as compliantly perky as the hungry puppies under Daley Père ( 1954-1976):

Dick Simpson, a University of Illinois professor and a former 44th Ward alderman, thinks otherwise. He has released a seriously flawed study that heralds a "newly found" council independence. Citing resolutions on such nongermane matters as the Iraq War, slave reparations and the Patriot Act, the Simpson study mixes the symbolic votes with the substantive. "We're the Chicago City Council, not the Council on Foreign Relations," said Alderman Tom Allen (38th). "It is not our job to make foreign policy."

Wasn't That a Time? A Veritable Golden Age of NPR Goodness! Brought Bush to his knees and added more Vitamin C to our diets!

Now, thunderous Dick, post Daley Le Fils of course and no doubt with the tacit nodding approval of current Mayor Racoon Eyes, proclaims that Chicago is the Most Corrupt City in America! Thunderous Dick trots out the glaringly obvious with his latest Jeremiad bouillon.

Simpson and Jim Nowlan, a senior fellow with the University of Illinois Institute of Government and Public Affairs, released the report as Mayor Rahm Emanuel's ethics task force prepared to hold its first public hearing Wednesday night.

Simpson generally praised Emanuel for early steps on ethics, but said the city's top attorney should release documents he has refused to provide to the city's inspector general on the basis of attorney-client privilege.

The professor also wants the inspector general to be able to investigate aldermen and their staffs. And he would like to see better city ethics training.

"The city's ethics training is a joke," Simpson said during a City Hall news conference. "We need real ethics training because people in this building don't seem to have it."

(emphasis my own)

ETHICS TRAINING???????? Gee, could our Progressive Polonius have a pre-packaged Political Ethics Adjunct Professorship cum Grease and Lube Job behind the curtain . . .'for a fee, always for a fee . . .Pestas! Siempre!'

The news media today operates on collective memory loss and the repetition of memes and themes. We remember Dick Simpson as a camera happy ineffective hack of an alderman. The expensive media archieves should bear that fruit, children, if you care to partake of it.

Grey old gummers like me don't really need such reminders of the fatuous ninny, the Progressive Polonius whose mitts are now out trolling for more public dough - The Dick Simpson Ethics Coalition and Bed and Breakfast Summer Camp.

One Question,, Thundering Dick! Where the . . .where the . . . where the Helen Shiller were you back when the pies were getting cut up and dished up to every jackal with a tongue and teeth?

Shakman killed the Machine, Bub. Corruption is rooted in the Gordian knot created by the Progressive over the last forty years. Corruption . . . adds millions in Federal Housing dollars to lefty lawyers who now snatch up housing project bones and mill more fertilizer for Green Growth Industries, as well as pad sinecures for mopes who run our buses and trains off the rails, buy parking meter slot machines and one-eyed bandit traffic cameras.

Thundering Dick, our Chicago Progressive Polonius! He is a giggle. Unless of course you absolutely are void of any memory, historical and political context, or common sense . . .not to mention a smidgen of Ethics.

http://www.russstewart.com/2-06.htm

More Cowbell! A Romney Victory in August; Obama Win in November

I must agree with John Kass in his very forthright and Chicago-savvy prediction that President Obama will win re-election in 2012. I vote primarily Democrat (locally)and but rarely for the GOP. I consider myself to be a conservative Catholic Democrat ( registered so)and vote for Real Labor (skilled trades and non-public sector labor) candidates with a track record.

For years, It has been my firm belief that the GOP ( local and national) is the Party That Blows Off Its Own Toes. They are best friends the DNC and Progressive Machine have in the world. They add, MORE COW BELL, to Barack Obama's Blue Oyster Cult!

Cowbell = Memes and Attacks -"Hateful, Islamaphobic, militarist, 1%-ers, Rich-lovers! Breeders!Homophobic, Divisive, Sexist, Racist, Sexist, Racist, cowbell, more cowbell!" AXELROD WALKEN - I GOTTA FEVER!!!!

Proof? Dan Proft is on WLS and not in Springfield.

The Illinois GOP could not 'get behind' Dan Proft because he is a bachelor. Instead, they allowed the unpainted furniture King of Bloomington/Normal and the man who makes the best ice cream in America suck the life out of the campaign.

With equal if not more self-loathing, the national GOP is going with our Bill Brady writ- large Mitt Romney.

President Obama is the same man he was when he was elevated to the purple by same Progressive Machine ( Democratic Party with a dash of Sen. Marque Kirque) that made the Woods Fund Activist and Hyde Park acolyte a State and United States Senator.
President Barack Obama will win re-election in 2012.

The reason he'll win?

He knows who he is. And the Republican politicians don't know who they are. They've forgotten what they're about, or perhaps like some isolated tribe, they've lost the language necessary to explain it to themselves.

Their voters know this and don't really believe them anymore.

And that's why Obama will win.

Only Rick Santorum could possibly beat President Obama, but only if he could withstand a public scourging not seen since Pilate ordered the cohort to give the carpenter's kid a tune-up.

LOTTSA COWBELL!!!!!!!!!!!

Rick Santorum is very much like my pal Dan Proft - he plays with five cards and the money boys play with six decks. Sarah Palin is a good person. I liked her. The worst thing that she did, as far I can see and that includes the Russian coast, was resigning as Governor. Other than that Ms. Palin was aces and worn down by the constant whippings from the likes of faux-thinkers Kathleen Parker, Christoper Buckley, David Brooks, Peggy Noonan and Steve Chapman who play in same sandbox as E.J. Dionne and the cast and crew at Saturday Night Live.

Abortion ( the full health package) and Gay (Civil Rights with less humor) issues are the COWBELL Cat-'o-nine-tails.

When President Obama visited Chicago, Pat Quinn, Dithering Dick Durbin and Lisa Madigan nudged their way into openly gay mega-million dollar ATM Fred Eychaner's open but expensive house party. I have no doubt that Pat Quinn's boss Terry Cosgrove nibbled cheese and quaffed some vino there as well.

The money goes only to suppliant hand-mavens and their public office mendicants. Rick Santorum is already getting scourged. MORE COWBELLS! IGOTTA FEVER FOR COWBELLS!

Mitt Romney is no different from the Illinois likes of Sen. Marque Kirque, Mike Quigley's new play pal. More so Mitt Romney is no differnt from the Bush Family which played nicely with the Chicago Progressive Machine.

In sum, it is up to individual voters -Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, Muslim, Atheist, Breeder, Gay (universal), to vote their hearts and minds.

Personally, I will vote for whomever runs against President Obama. I still feel that he is out of his depth. . .way out of his depth. So is Senator Marque Kirque, Mike Quigley, Deb Shore, Ricardo 'Rick' Munoz, Dorothy Brown, Sandy and Jesse Jackson, Dick Durbin, Jan Schakowsky, Sara Feigenholtz, Barbara Flynn-Currie, Toni Preckwinkle, Forrest Claypool ( anywhere), and so many, many, many more public plungers.

Don't forget, the same media and PR machines that gave us Roland Burris also created Blagojevich. Judy Baar Topinka anyone? Let's hear from the Greek again!

But Republicans smoke the opposite of Hopium. Their pipes are filled with Dopium.

One bowl of Dopium and you can listen to tough talk about budget cutting and deficits with one ear. And with the other ear, you can listen to talk of another war with Iran and why that's a good thing, and how we can't cut defense spending or the world is doomed.

If you tried doing this without Dopium, you'd go stark raving mad.

Sadly, since I belong to neither group, I've become hooked on another hideous substance: Kasshish.

It allows you to see reality and a bleak future.

And what I see is Obama winning in 2012.

Hopium and Cowbells Brother John!

Another chap, calling himself the Catholic Knight says this-

What we have right now is an entire section of the Republican Party (about 20%) that has rejected the status quo precedents set by previous GOP administrations and congresses. What we have is a political party that is now about 20% more 'libertarian' than it was just ten years ago. We have a party that is 20% more likely to embrace a non-interventionist approach to foreign policy. We have a party that is 20% more likely to want to abolish the Federal Reserve. We have a party that is 20% more likely to embrace states rights and decentralisation. This is why GOP icon Sarah Palin has warned Republicans not to alienate the Ron Paul supporters. For in alienating them, they risk the breakup of the Republican Party entirely. The only GOP candidate bringing in sizable numbers of young energetic voters right now is Ron Paul. It is clear, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that the future of the Republican Party is going to reflect Ron Paul's thinking a lot more than any other political candidate. Paul has made his mark on the GOP, and it is a mark that is here to stay, unless of course the GOP rejects it. If they do that however, the GOP rejects its future and consigns itself to a generation of irrelevance.

Tru Dat, Sir Knight! More Cow Bell!

http://www.chicagonewscoop.org/obamas-visit-cboe-ceos-shame-kass-v-brown/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=obamas-visit-cboe-ceos-shame-kass-v-brown

http://www.nbcchicago.com/blogs/ward-room/quinn-durbin-obama-fundraiser-eychaner-137151703.html

http://catholicknight.blogspot.com/

CTA Can't See the Rail Cars for the Forrest Claypool

According to an October 10, 2005 Crain's Chicago Business article, three companies submitted proposals by the September 15, 2005 deadline: Alstom Transportation Inc., an American subsidiary of French firm Alstom S.A.; Bombardier Inc., the Montreal-based aircraft and railcar manufacturer; and Kawasaki Rail Car Inc., a subsidiary of Japanese company Kawasaki Heavy Industries Ltd. According to Crain's, the three manufacturers all retained local consultants, many former CTA and city staff and officials, to help them hone their pitches and navigate the Chicago political waters.

from http://www.chicago-l.org/trains/roster/5000mkII.html

There's the trees in this particular Forrest. Care to identify each tree?

Is there a Marilyn Katz Elm? Perhaps a Dave Axelrod Larch? Mayhaps there be a mighty Judson Miner/Allison Davis Redwood, or a Dr. Quentin Young Acorn?

When a Progressive Protected Specimen like Forrest Claypool - one of many mind you ( Sheila Simon, Dawn Clark Netsch, Deborah Shore & etc.) - is placed in a position of authority troubles are many and owned by taxpayers. They always have the stamp of approval of coalitions a-plenty - Transgender Iwo Jima Flag Raisers, Brownies LUV Abortion, Friends of the Alligator Gar and Gator Bradley, Lawyers for Ne'er Do Wells, Miscreants and Scoundrals, Rush Street Cougars for Self Respect, and the I'm a Loser Because of Systemic Everything Task Force.

The "Ain't He/She Great" stamp of approval branded on the bald rumps of Progressive Protected Species is a passport to profitable paydays and munificent pensions. "Ain't He/She Great" signals an association to a politically necessary pile of street money on election day ( a policy PAC or public employee union), armies of community minded activists sporting XXXXL T-shirts in SEIU Purple, ACORN Red, or a Rainbow, or Progressive persons of wealth and influence.

The Ain't He/She great branded lady or gent pops out of nowhere and appears on election petitions in order to eliminate, or punish political rivals. The Ain't He/She Great phantom is generally armed and equiped with a Media columnist or a spot on the mast-head of Huffington Post.

The helots and worker bees in the precincts and Wards ask, "What'd He do? Where She come from?" Matters not; Ain't She Great? He's a Reformer and we're all gonna get a sweet deal.

Under the Ain't He Great rubric, no one is greater than Forrest Claypool. Try and find his salary among City Workers; you can't as he was appointed with an undisclosed salary - n'est-ce pas! You can hear the shouts though, Forrest can run a Mayoral Staff! He Can Run Parks! He Can Run a County Board . . .well, almost! He Can Run the Trains and Buses on Time Without Stopping for a Pee! Forrest can . . .lay blame.


On my birthday, I was delighted to learn that the CTA had purchased a fleet of state of the art train cars -

Mayor Emanuel and CTA President Forrest Claypool Unveil New Rail Cars

11/8/2011

The 5000-Series Car Scheduled to Make Official In-Service Debut on the Pink Line

Mayor Rahm Emanuel and CTA President Forrest Claypool today unveiled new 5000-series rail cars, marking the first time there has been an addition to the rail fleet since 1992. The first of these new rail cars are entering revenue service on the Pink Line. Emanuel and Claypool were joined for the inaugural run at the Midway station on the Orange Line by representatives from Bombardier Transportation, the manufacturer of the cars.

“The CTA remains the primary mode of transportation for many residents of Chicago, and these new rail cars reflect the Agency’s commitment to its customers and to our city,” said Mayor Rahm Emanuel. “In order for Chicago to grow, continue attracting new businesses and increase the quality of life for all Chicagoans we must continue to invest in public transportation, improving transit infrastructure and expanding service.”

After a successful prototype testing period, the first of 706 brand new, full production model cars will debut on the Pink Line. As more cars continue to arrive, they will be tested internally to ensure all components are operating properly before going into service.

“The 5000-series cars provide a more enjoyable ride for customers,” said CTA President Forrest Claypool. “These cars have wider aisles and roomier interiors, electronic destination signs and security cameras in each car for enhanced safety.”

The addition of these new cars to the fleet will allow CTA to retire some of its oldest cars which average between 32 and 41 years old.

“Modernizing the fleet is very important and is fiscally prudent because a younger fleet requires less maintenance and allows CTA to keep the trains on the system where they are needed and not in the repair shop,” Claypool said.

The rail cars feature an aisle-facing seating configuration which adds six inches to the narrowest portion of the aisle, allowing more room for customers carrying backpacks, packages, luggage, strollers and bikes. The aisle-facing seating also provides space for an additional wheelchair position, increasing the total to two per car.

The cars also have LED displays with larger text-size that will replace the scrolling destination signs on the exterior of the lead car. The LED signs on the interior will display the next stop, date and time. The same signs can also be used for a text display of the audio announcements made to customers in the rail car. Above the doors, there is a system map with LED lights that indicates the train’s present location as it travels along the route. In addition, the side doors have an opening/closing light in compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act regulations.

Each rail car has multiple security cameras and will eventually transmit real time video to CTA’s Control Center, the Office of Emergency Management and Communication and the Chicago Police Department. CTA’s Control Center will also have remote access to signs, giving them the ability to make emergency audio and text messages inside the trains if needed.

After a competitive selection process, CTA selected Bombardier Transportation Corporation to manufacture the rail cars. Bombardier is a recognized leader in the manufacturing of mass transit vehicles.

The total cost of the rail cars $1.137 billion which is funded by two CTA bond issuances backed by sales tax receipts. The remainder is paid for by $150 million in federal funds.Link to the gallery:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ctaweb/...7627960132703/

Ain't He Great! The cars don't work! $1.137 billion less the $ 150 million Federal.

Only days ago, the Bombardier Cars - as painstakingly studied as the swell parking meters sucking in credit and debit cards all our Urbs in Horto - were lifted off the tracks.

The CTA Tattler of Chicago Now snitched -

"Now remember, the first set of 10 cars were delivered in April of 2010. They underwent rigorous testing on every rail line. And the manufacturer is just now discovering this "flaw"?

Interestingly, Claypool says: “This decision demonstrates an abundance of caution on our part as we work with Bombardier to address these issues.” Perhaps. And perhaps more complete testing should have been done in the first place."

Those darn Bombardiers!

Dang! But, Forrest Claypool, perhaps, can detail the oxen on the CTA Rails getting gored for our $1.137 billion less the $ 150 million Federal. Claypool will go on, if he really actually must do so, Chicago Tonight, WTTW doncha know, with Carol Marin tossing some under-hand softballs like,

" Gee, Ain't You Great?"

"Well, shucks Carol, now that you mention this - Yes. . .Yes I am. The Bosses need to go!"

" What about thos rail-cars Forrest? Are they really safe?"

" They sure are Carol! Why, I ran the Parks and that was much tougher than running a great city transportation system, where employees expect to be paid while they take a pee. Not on my watch, Carol. You know, Carol, I am an outsider and a reformer."

" Ain't he great? Tommorrow, I will ask a bus driver exactly how long he expects to be paid while taking a pee and how long that pee might be. The Pee Fee -Our Tax-Dollars Down the Drain - Thank you Forrest Claypool!"

The next time someone tells you so-and-so is great, ask the Ain't She/He Great-er, " Can You find a Chinaman on 22nd Street?" or direct that worthy to find his/her posterior lobes using both hands in one motion.

Epic Fail! Ain't He Great! Great. . .really great . . .really terrific . . .couldn't be better . . .the cat's nuts . . .