Friday, September 13, 2013

Bike Terror - Even Chicks Who Are Tops Get Knocked: Nicole Kidman and a Total Jag Collide

Taking a tumble: Nicole Kidman was knocked over by a photographer on a bicycle on Thursday as she returned to her New York hotel after attending the Calvin Klein Fashion Week show

Nicole Kidman can make getting knocked down by a cyclist look good, but I gotta ask, Is  thatpost-it note on her pumps de rigeur?

Cyclists are jags.  They are always decked out in goofy outfits that our Moms would never let us wear out in public for fear of a well-deserved trimming from the tough guys over-by-White Hen. Cyclists tend to be tall, lean, non-smokers with the personalities of dial tones.

Cyclists are public policy darlings: Green, Lean-Cuisine, PC Mean.

They never seem to be African American, Mexican American, Asian American, or Working American Blue Collar-Tight-Knight Ethnics.

Now, that is of course my handy broad brush, or extra-roller screwed to an extendable idiot-stick for hard to reach places.  Good people do ride bicycles, but they tend to do so without the Lance Armstrong EuroTrash Poser rigouts and obey the laws of traffic and physics.

Cyclists, or Bike Terrorists, go where they will in any direction and always against the traffic lights and common courtesy. Here is one that did not get away with his crime:

Nicole Kidman has been knocked over by a cyclist and according to reports, is planning on pressing charges.The actress was returning to her hotel after attending the Calvin Klein show on Thursday as part of New York Fashion Week.Nicole fell to the ground when she was hit by a photographer named Carl Wu, who was apparently racing to try and take a picture for her.
"Uh, Oh! Carl Wu!," you say, " that obliterates your above demographic premise about Asian Americans.

Really?  Carl?  Mr. and Mrs. Wu decided to celebrate their inner-Viking or Teuton by naming the lad Carl. Nope, Cal is a Jag.
Crash landing: Celebrity photographer Carl took a spill on his bike after slamming into Nicole
Carl is all hog-tied in his ride and while every man-jack with an ounce of testosterone is fighting to help up the leggy rehead akimbo - no one aids Carl until the stunning woman in dove grey frock is pawed by the available lads.Always graceful: Nicole attempted to slip back into her high heels but then realised it was better to leave it

Then, an African American pedestrian offers his manly mitt to Carl
Tangled up: A man tried to separate the photographer from his bikeExit stage right: Other photographers were taking pictures at the scene so a man ushered Nicole into the hotel

While Carl's stutter-bug accomplice Nils, or Bjorn, or Sigurd Ho shoots pics. He's a jag as well.

Ride a bike; don't be a jag - a cyclist.

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