Hello, Little Sports! I'm your Old Uncle Errol here to bring to life words and punctuation to delight even the grumpiest little truant among you to love the written word.
As I told Big Boy Guinn and Alan Hale in every Warner Brothers Adventure - 'Boys, words matter . . .sure the get-ups are nice and Olivia was never lovelier, but it is the words that make the story.
Now, gather round my Elfin Chums . . .and try not to eat those, Young Michael Houlihan! . . .no, they're not real fruit . . .we call them props, here, around the lot . . .get comfortable Ladies and Squires . . .that's it!
Now, here is a story about young lad in Tasmania. That's an island south of the OZ the land down under the Southern Cross . . .Australia Mates! This lad was asked to do chores . . .even if the chores are just a might too . . . well, give a listen!
“All I had to do was stick my face into this gruesome mess and bite off the young sheep's testicles. Dag a hogget. I had good teeth. I put my nose into this awful-smelling mess, my teeth solidly around the balls of the six-month-old sheep, and took a bite while I held him upside down. My nose was in fur and ordure. I bit and spat out the product into a pile of what they called prairie oysters. We have them in America too: delicious to eat, but not delicious to remove. They said this was the most sanitary way to de-ball a sheep. After I was done, I passed the sheep onto the next man, who put a little coal tar on the same spot for purposes of cleansing and closing up the wound. The sheep never let out a bleat.. . .”
Where has the time gone? You see, Young Michael? It's wax fruit . . .now, try and learn from that unpleasantness, Old Sport.
That's about all for today, My Hearties! Next time Uncle Errol will tell you about the time he met this beautiful young girl . . .she looked all of twenty . . . well, Until that Time, People of Sherwood!
Reading is Fun with Errol Flynn was presented on PBS in part with grant from Planned Parenthood and the Council of Questionable Living