I was thumbing, as is my habit and pleasure, my well-worn Penguin Classic volume of Cicero's De Senctute, having devoured the requisite episodes of Rawhide, Wagon Train and Have Gun Will Travel featured on the magnificently programed Encore Western Channel, available through ATT Universe plan for that Saturday morning.
I was about to jot notes on this salient passage by Tully which are touchstones of counsel for semi-retired roues and cads like myself.
Age and attention to virtue are twin goads. The body's mechanical/ chemical ignition systems wane and the knowledge that eternity's candle is leading the manly will more than appeals of sirens and nymphs to that goatishness which dominated so many decades and charmed pretty eyes do make for changes. Thus,
The third charge against old age is that it LACKS SENSUAL PLEASURES. What a splendid service does old age render, if it takes from us the greatest blot of youth! Listen, my dear young friends, to a speech of Archytas of Tarentum, among the greatest and most illustrious of men, which was put into my hands when as a young man I was at Tarentum with Q. Maximus. “No more deadly curse than sensual pleasure has been inflicted on mankind by nature, to gratify which our wanton appetites are roused beyond all prudence or restraint. It is a fruitful source of treasons, revolutions, secret communications with the enemy. In fact, there is no crime, no evil deed, to which the appetite for sensual pleasures does not impel us. Fornications and adulteries, and every abomination of that kind, are brought about by the enticements of pleasure and by them alone. Intellect is the best gift of nature or GodThat virtuous notion considered and the fact that television commercial marketing featuring my contemporary males riding around in vintatge pick-up trucks and pouring AquaFina into over-heated radiators, or doing hot-licks on a Fender Stratocaster with the old garage band gang, talking about Low T, or E-D or complete Johnson meltdown, do the falling leaves of autumn and memories of dalliances past spark the re-play button of loves lost and pleasures found.
Having noted antique Cicero's valorization of Low T and failure to launch being occasion for reflection on higher things, my reveries were jolted akimbo by the intrusive ring of my land-line phone and it was not a Quinnipiac Poll, AmVets, or Window Replacement telemarketers.
It was the purringly husky voice of a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic."
"Wow!" I was flabbergasted.
"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now," I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."
She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge."
"Yeah," I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! The ravages of Dunlap's Disease. Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone . . . everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I'm developing jowls like a Great Dane!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.
She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.
Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"
" Sorry, Chubs, not interested!"
I hung up the phone, placed my volume of De Senctute back under the pile of books and checked the ice box for that last piece of Key Lime pie!
OOOOOOooooo Lawman with John Russell as Marshall Dan Troop starts at 1 PM!
HT -Max Weismann -philosopher and roue