Monday, April 02, 2012

Mr. Phoenix Raises the Bar on Easter Eats!

Let me have men about me that are fat,
Sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights.

Julius Caesar Act 1, scene 2, 190–195

Swift was fat; Addison was fat; Steele was fat; Gay and Thomson were preposterously fat—all that fuddling and punch-drinking, that club and coffee-house boozing, shortened the lives and enlarged the waistcoats of the men of that age.
Thackeray on the English Humorists

Lent's Over. . .almost. On Friday, March 30th, I fasted and tried to pray with some lust and consequence specifically for Religious Freedom.

For 24 hours, I subsisited on water and lime. Not really a great big Joe Bidenesque deal.

On that very day, I read about Mr. Charles Phoenix, Humorist, Author, Chef and heo of the first order.

Mr. Phoenix welcomes the Risen Christ with this spendid appeal to the human heart - An Easter Lamb Meatloaf.

As long as I’ve been performing my Big Retro Holiday Slide Shows, funny Easter lambcakes have been part of them. Year after year, I’ve threatened to buy one of those classic two-piece aluminum lambcake molds and bake one myself. This was the year!

So finally, I went online and two days later a baby sheep shape arrived. But when it came time to actually use it, I was feeling a bit more savory than sweet and decided my little lamb should be molded meat. Yes, ground lamb would’ve been more apropos, but I opted for some good ‘ol ground cow. Yum.

After baking both halves of the meatloaf mixture,
I “glued” the back and front of the li’l lamb with mashed potatoes and placed it on a generous mound of more mashed potatoes.

Now the fun part: giving him his coat of curly wool by squirting the rest of the mashed potatoes through a star-tipped pastry bag, finishing the mound with frozen peas and corn and framing him with halo-esque quartered carrot burst! And, oh, his little pea eyes and carrot nose.

After concocting the Cherpumple, Astro-Weenie, Chiristmas Tree, Light up-Jello Tree, Frosty the Cheeseball Man and now Easter Meatloaf of Lamb, I’ve finally figured out: “Don’t just cook your food, craft it too!”

Here’s to Easter Meatloaf of Lamb and YOU!

Charles Phoenix
March 30, 2012

There is hope for Mankind, when a hero like Charles Phoenix helps us take down the purple and black, shower off the ashes of penitence and look to the Resurrection.

I would have opted for the ground lamb, but then again, I am but a harmless drudge.


Publia said...

The carrots are really, really over the top.

pathickey said...

That they are, but Mr. Phoenix was going for whimsy and nailed it. Nice bed of parsley and other greens would have been jake with me.

That and I'd have gone with a ground lamb mix.