As Concerned as Ald. Cappleman, I provided a Tasty and Wholesome 'Disincentive' for the Kids Last Night!

"I was concerned that the Mobile Food truck was providing a disincentive to those in need to receive sustained help," Cappleman said.

Man, Chicago Sun Times columnist Mark Brown has boated a 'Keeper' - rather a Cappleman - that could fry up a 'disincentive' for the remaining season of Lent.
 
Mark Brown also skeeted the pigeons released from the  Progressive "Ain't He Great" Rookie Alderman of the 46th Ward's NIMBY Feathered Boa.

Feed not the pigeons; Feed not the Poor - Chicago Values as deep-fried as those of the other nit-wit Rahm toe-dipper Proco Joe Moreno.

If any one believes that either one of these jamokes initiated a move on fried chicken breasts, wild squab, or the Red Kettle homophobes of Salvation Army without the say-so the 5th Floor Baryshnikov, let me tell you about my romantic exploits with Dean Martin Dancers.

After a long weekend ofCappleman tears and shifting of narrative, Mark Brown has boated the fowl-foe and chow wagon obstructionist.The Cappleman Couple in Happier Times

The beauty of the wiggling apologia from this wall-eyed payroller is the Progressive nuance with deconstruction -Providing a meal to the Hungry is now 'providing disincentive.'

You see, my beef with Progressives is, was and shall ever be, not with their opinions, policies and power proclamations, but their inability to allow any point of view but their own upon pain of being declared racist, stupid, uneducated, fat, homophobic, sexist, ultramontane, lazy, low-self esteem happy, or members of the Insane Deuces. I want every one to be happy, loved, fed, successful and tolerated, with the requirement of swallowing dissembling nonsense ( AKA horseshit, bullshit, parsed verbiage, memes) as if it were  deep-fried pate de fois gras .

I discussed the Cappleman Crusade on pigeons and poor people with two of my children last evening.  They were appalled by the Progressive pronouncements of this once obscure rookie time-server.

"What a creep," they chorused with varying degrees of outraged antipathy.  However, when I suggested that there just might . . . might mind you . . .be more than a bid of Gay agenda power play behind this particular assault up the Salvation Army, much as there was great Hoo and Ha directed against Cardinal George when he twisted Rahm's ears over Chicago Values, they said , "Fine, Dad . . .good one.  how about dinner?"

Unbeknown'st to me at the time, as I had not yet read of Alderman James Cappleman's descant on feeding the homeless via a Salvation Army wagon, I provided the following disincentives for my bairns!

I baked potatoes.  Purchased a tub of County Fair vinaigrette cole slaw and made garlic bread that turns an old man's hair to its original luster.

Our neighborhood's  most valuable Irish Import, head-butcher Mike Benson (left), who hails from County Adair, Ireland. 


Oven Back Baby Back Ribs - Pre-heated oven 300 degrees/Extra Large Roasting pan with rack

2 racks baby back ribs marinated over night in Apple Cider Vinegar with whole pepper corns, cloves, cinnamon sticks and bay leaves: take out of marinade -Carefully remove the membrane for the back of the ribs :  Dump the marinade - use it again with something else and you'll get sick as hell.

6 tablespoons Hickey Rib Rub spice blend -  from the jar in the cabinet that Conor uses on frozen pizzas and gets his ass-chewed when there is not enough of the stuff when I want to use. . .there.  Okay, here's the stuff that I'm talking about - which I stole from Charlie Olson of Lindenhurst Illinois and he uses when he slow smokes ribs and he has another one for fish. I added basil, so its mine now.

8 tablespoons paprika

3 tablespoons cayenne

5 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper

6 tablespoons garlic powder

3 tablespoons onion powder

6 tablespoons salt

2 1/2 tablespoons dried oregano

2 1/2 tablespoons dried thyme & 1 1/2 tablespoons dried basil

 Rub the hell out the ribs and do not -repeat do not listen to your brother in-law and add brown sugar/cane sugar/Domino's sugar to the dry rub.  Trust me.
Place the Pigcicles meat side up on the rack in the roasting pan cook the hell out of them covered for two hours. Remove, the pan using oven mitts.

Now, slather the meat side up with Argia B's Mumbo Sauce - The Sauce That's Boos - with a clean mopping utensil or culinary brush.  Return to oven for twenty minutes and repeat. Remove from oven and flib the slats, slather the backsides and return to oven for ten minutes.  Remove and flip the slats re-slather and return of ten more minutes. Patience.  2hrs at 300 + post slather 20min. + 20min + 10 + 10.
Remove and set aside.

Serve with Baked Spuds prepared earlier, garlic bread ditto and cole slaw as well.

Back the hell out of the way!  The kids is disincentivizing up a storm.

Is Cappleman's War on Pigeons and the Salvation Army the Prelude to Gay Marriage Illinois?

Alderman James Capplemans ( back left) and his fiance Richard Thale are hugged by Lauren Peters on the Cappleman Victory Night -signalling war most terrible upon pigeons, Red Kettles and Catholics.

Didn't a great community activist once say, "For the poor you have always with you: but me you have not always?"  Why, yes, he did.  He was Jesus.  He did not however make much comment on pigeons; Doves, or rather dove salesmen he did -"And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money changers, and the chairs of them that sold doves."

You see Chicago Values often come into clash with our feathered friends almost as often as people of faith.   It seems that everything comes down to feathers and faith.

Our Chicago Bird Cage (  la cage aux folles) is very noisy.  One of Chicago's father's is civilly united to another 'father' - Ald. James Cappleman ( 46th Ward) and he is a bona fide Progressive with rock-ribbed Chicago Values.  He is a graduate of the Jane Addams College of Social Work at UIC and old Jane was romantically inclined to towards her own gender, as well.

The Salvation Army feeds poor people and some of those poor people feed pigeons* and pigeons are no doves.  The Catholic Church feeds the poor, but are less mobile in its operations than the Red Kettle heroes. The Catholic Church began with St. Peter and the Salvation Army with General Booth. Both are religions and both institutions. The Salvation Army and its members, like the Roman Catholic Church, holds to the traditional and natural definition of marriage

The Salvation Army's Red Kettles offended Illinois Gay Pope Rick Garcia most recently:

The Salvation Army uses donated money to oppose gay rights, wrote Garcia, a senior policy adviser at The Civil Rights Agenda, attaching a photo of a fact sheet. He suggested that his friends "pass the kettle" and give their money to other groups instead."Serving a gay or lesbian person that needs help with food or housing or clothing is laudable," Garcia said. "But you can't feed them and then stab them in the back."The Salvation Army has grown accustomed to fielding such charges each year as it launches into its most aggressive fundraising season, said Lt. Col. Ralph Bukiewicz, commander of the Salvation Army's Chicago Metropolitan Division. The group also has been criticized for its theological stance on homosexuality and accused of discrimination in shelters and the workplace. . . .For at least six years, gay activists have encouraged supporters to keep their cash and slip printed protest notes into the red kettles instead. The campaign resurfaced this year, gaining more momentum than ever through social media. ( emphasis my own)

Gays stabbed in the back after having been fed by Red Kettle thugs?  No, but pigeons must be sacrificed for the greater good, according to City Significant Other Cappleman.  Now, comes a more telling conflict between organized religion and Chicago Values. Salvation Army Mobile Food Pantries.

Sun Times columnists has offered a number of very straight-forward facts based reports on Ald. James Cappleman's crusades.  Here is the latest:

Ald. James Cappleman (46th) informed the Salvation Army on Friday that it is no longer welcome to feed the poor in Uptown from its homeless outreach trucks.
Cappleman gave the social service agency one month to find a new North Side location — outside his ward — before ceasing operations, said Capt. Nancy Powers, who oversees the Salvation Army’s homeless program in Chicago. . . .While Salvation Army personnel serve up bowls of hot soup, two social workers specializing in substance abuse and mental health mingle with the crowd and try to forge relationships with the homeless to identify those who are ready to get off the street.

A “chaser van” goes along to immediately transport anyone who is ready to enter rehab or go to the hospital.
Operating from a location at Wilson and Marine, the unit feeds 100 people on average at midday Monday through Friday, Powers said. In recent years, most of those lining up for food have been residents of nearby single room occupancy buildings who can’t afford to eat, she said.
Cappleman informed the Salvation Army it was welcome to continue to provide the social workers, but not to feed anybody.

Poor people with food are the gateway to pigeons with a bomb-load -Now, that's Chicago Progressive Thought and Chicago Values: Gay Marriage, Real Estate, and Power Politics!

My own jesuitical 19th Ward Democrat Roman Catholic values lead me to connect the dots between the pigeon drops - The Salvation Army is no friend to the soon-to-be Mr & Mrs. James and Richard Thale-Cappleman and certainly not the Gay Pope Rick Garcia who with dollars from Fred Eychaner and Henry Van Amerigen helped purchase the Governor and both houses of the Illinois Legislature which will soon pass the the Religious Liberty and Marriage Equality Bill.

The future Ald. & Mrs James-Richard-Thale-Cappleman ( 46th) will marry, but they will still need to kill pigeons, knock over Red Kettles, ban rolling food pantries and continue to craft ordinances and push legislation to destroy the Catholic Church.

Chicago Values - fighting pigeons and the Paraclete - another bird.

My Pal John Rubbery has more on Alderman 'Pigeons' Cappleman

 *One of the flying rodents’ benefactors, Young Kang, was charged with battery in May after she shoved Cappleman when he swept up the breadcrumbs she tossed for pigeons.

A Few Traditional South Side Irish Tunes

To Really appreciate the . . .



The In Crowd


Your mane will be back no later than . . .










Now, I ask you . . .




Not really.

One Must Pickett!

One must. Just ask the Lonely!



Levi Stubbs -what pipes are all about!

Catholics Still Stand Up for Our Battered Church

The Catholic Church can not be allowed the time to elect a successor to St. Peter with a cascade of abuse and hostile sneers from the very industry that promotes decadence and universal disrespect - the news media.

While waiting for a friend's plane to land at O'Hare Airport, I watched the monitors featuring the news - it was merely CNN.  Christianne Amanpour, whom, for the life of me, I do not equate with matters religious  and bears a very strong resemblance to tobacco icon Joe Camel. was the featured mouthpiece - live at the Vatican and the always idiotic Soledad O'Brien trotted out the HBO-hit-piece Mea Culpa director*. Worse they reached out to Jeffrey Anderson, the absolute slimiest of the bottom-feeding ambulance chasers and the wizard of SNAP.  Anderson has made millions from bringing suit against the Church and making the media his catamite.

Anderson, who was a bust-out louse with a law license living in his Volkswagon, until he settled on suing the Catholic Church, because it asked a wino not to urinate in the vestibule of a church, is now trolling for work with the  Pope -to-Be. 

First, disclose the names of all the clerics credibly accused and known to the Vatican worldwide along with the country, state and parish or school where the offenses were allegedly committed. . . .Fifth, retain independent and outside professionals to conduct an audit to assure compliance and reliability. An example of a case where this independent investigation worked is the Louis Freeh Report regarding Penn State and the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal.

Sixth, retain independent and outside professionals, nonclerics who do not have a requirement of obedience to the pope and bishops, to conduct investigations into child sex crimes by clergy.

Seventh, retain independent and outside professionals to train, educate and modernize child protection procedures and protocols in every diocese worldwide. You know, like me, Jeff Anderson! ( emphases and sotto voce my own)

Huffington Post offers a  video featuring a precious pair of punks ( click the link and go to the video)who I would love to have join me at Father Perez Knights of Columbus after the Blackhawks lose a close on and have them offer their thoughts.

The Catholic Church and Catholics are in the cultural/political/ legal cross-hairs and shall be for a long time to come.

The Catholic Church alone stood against abortion, until the late 1970's when they were joined by evangelical Protestants and orthodox Jews.

Here is a great voice from a Catholic gent.

Pedophiles
What a blessing it will be when the last pedophile and other weirdos will be weeded out of our Catholic Church. They’ve used it as a hiding place for years to enable them, (they thought) to continue their destructive behavior. When first discovered their bishops simply moved them to another parish, not realizing the serious consequences of their actions. Unfortunately the resulting scandal also got their bishops in a lot of legal hot water, which became a windfall for attorneys like Jeff Anderson whose article in the Dispatch a few months ago asked abused victims to come forward, which hopefully they will?
However have you ever wondered how a jury can convict a dead man of abusing 200 boys as stated in Mr. Anderson’s article? Some of these cases are ridiculous but with millions of dollars at stake, and Catholic priests it seems are guilty unless they can prove their innocence, which is impossible, it’s easy to understand why. I’ve known several dedicated priests who walked away from their profession saying, “You simply cannot fight this and win.”
We as parishioners gave our donations in good faith to our Diocese for Catholic schools, Catholic Relief Services, helping the poor, etc. It’s a wonderful gesture on the part of our church to compensate the true victims, and they certainly have my deepest sympathy. Every few days we read of another sex abuser moving into our area. We read of abused victims of teachers, coaches and pastors of other faiths, where are the million dollar settlements for their victims? The Catholic Church has tried to do the right thing and I commend them for it.
The scandalous TV documentaries about our church, such as Dan Rather on HD Net and others, make our church out to be and I quote the California attorney on that show who said, “The Catholic Church is a big rich powerful organization that makes Enron look like a Sunday school picnic” greatly disturbed me. I had written this when Mr. Anderson’s article first appeared in the Dispatch but just didn’t have the guts to publish it. The cartoon of the devil and the altar boys in the Sunday paper was an insult to me, my church, and I believe even to our friends of other faiths in this area. God bless the wonderfully dedicated Catholic priests I’ve known in my 75 years of being proud to be a Catholic.
Ed Koska
Nisswa

Me too ,Ed.
*  

The Face of Heroism - Last Century and This One

The Face of American Heroism 20th Century




The Face of American Heroism 21st Century




God help us.

Peter Doyle and the Rosary - This Month in Irish American News

Pete Doyle -The Mr. Chips of Leo High School, Chicago IL

Leo Legend Pete Doyle greeted his guys, yesterday when these accomplished Lions returned to mentor the young Lions of Leo.  Every Alumnus from years 1967-Present, ask for Brother Doyle, Handsome Willie, Mr. Doyle, Pete!

From Irish American News

             Peter Doyle and the Rosary – They’re Back at Leo High School


My Dad once told me, “Everything comes back but spats.” The old man knew what he was stalking about whether it was buying tools, jazz records, or clothing – buy to last and skip the trendy. His advice served me well, I love real jazz and eschew the Kenny G varietal elevator music, wear essentially the same public statement with my cloths and hair style (unaltered since 1966- urban prep/greaser) and I demand that the skilled craftsmen that I hire to improve or repair my home use only the best tools.


There are reasons why some things never change; they are classic, and why though out of sight and mind for whatever reason are always welcomed back. You can not say that of the Mullet-hair statement, the Nehru Jacket, or the Leisure suit.


That same can and should be said about wonderful persons and practices.


Pete Doyle is back at Leo. The former Irish Christian Brother who began his long teaching career at Leo High School in 1967, returned three years ago. Mr. Doyle is remembered as Bro Doyle by hundreds of Alumni who pay homage to the man who exemplifies the Spirit of the Lion.


Back in the day, Leo Pep Rallies were often punctuated by bleachers and balcony seats of Leo Men chanting “Handsome, Willie! Handsome Willie!!!!” Handsome was the appellation of student affection for a teacher or coach. The Irish Christian Brothers referred to one another not by their given names, but by their Christening names; thus, Brother Peter William Doyle CCF was called Willie – Handsome Willie.


Pete “Handsome Willie” Doyle teaches religion and coaches track and serves as this school’s campus minister. Leo High School is was and shall always remain Catholic.


No one exemplifies Leo’s Catholic culture better than Handsome Willie Doyle. Students learn exactly why Leo’s Catholic identity is the key to their success. There is much that goes into the tale and worship is a huge part of the glory that is Leo Alumni support and the continuation of the eighty seven year mission on 79th Street.


Pete Doyle and a group of teachers and students instituted the Leo Men Pray program that takes place immediately after school and before athletic practices. Out this program and Mr. Doyle’s religion classes emerged interest in a uniquely Catholic form of prayer. African American evangelical and a few Muslim students indicated great interest in a very particular devotion to Our Lady.


The Rosary is back at Leo High School – the school named for the Rosary Pope –Leo XIII. The Rosary focused and dedicated to Our Lady, became one of great Catholic devotions.


Remember devotions? You know ‘external, public practices of piety?’ Piety? That’s a toughie these days. Piety is equated to hypocrisy, or at the very least rather pinched in the sphincter. Piety is merely means ‘respect’ drawn from a very complex sense of Roman virtue. The Romans and subsequently the Catholic Church took virtue to mean the steps to good living – a gradus. At the most basic was pietas –recognition and reverence for ancestors. Piety came to mean doing a public act that reflected one’s faith and core beliefs. As Catholics dissolved into mere Americans, breast beating, signs of the cross, counting of beads, genuflection and finally living up to the faith became silly things performed by the unevolved. I took three Leo students out for lunch and said grace with the sign of the cross sandwiching the prayer and you should have seen the looks I got from tables of hep and hip.


I have had a rosary in pocket, as well as my keys, some folding money, a toothpick a hankie and those great tasting Listerine pads for years. I pray through the day with the beads tucked away. No need to publicly pronounce my pities unless invited or commanded to do so. The Rosary is a great help to me and it keeps me aware of my vanities and impulses. Don’t hurt none.


I asked Mr. Doyle about the interest our young men, mostly non-Catholic, have shown in this most Catholic of devotions. I began by asking, “You have been a long-time influence on generations of Leo Men (1967-Present). How do you see the young men of today?”


“You know, Pat, they are much the same: some take to studies, some to sports and all need to be loved and encouraged Like the young guys when I first came here to teach, they show a great interest in spiritual things. There seems to be a greater hunger for more sacred rituals and devotions along with their hunger for God and grasping some sense in this life.”


Pete Doyle was born in Los Angeles, CA and returned to teach there in the 1980’s after leaving the Irish Christian Brothers. Aside from that brief teaching hiatus and short stint with St. Gregory High School on the north side, Peter Doyle has stayed close to Leo.


Leo’s Mr. Chips explained the development of interest in the Rosary as a devotion, “Today’s Leo student has a much more spontaneous response to prayer. They are at ease with a personal relation to Jesus. As teens they love to do things in groups which seems to lend itself to a more formalized devotion and the rosary fills that need. Since we began the Leo Men Pray program traditional prayers have had a powerful effect from group prayer. The public nature of bearing witness to Christ through His Mother seems to have hit a chord with the guys. It is active prayer.”


The tangible benefits of holding onto the rosary during the Rosary itself seems to have added to the current interest by students, most of whom are non-Catholic. Doyle went on, “Holding onto a sacred object while publicly or privately praying, meditating and fingering the beads appeal to the young men. They like medals, medallions, charms and the like. The Church has always used the material to our own ascent to the spiritual.”


Pete Doyle is back and now the Rosary is Back. Get this. Pete Doyle wants to have a May Crowning here on 79th in the Leo courtyard at the Statue of Our Lady.

Illinois Gay Marriage (AKA Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act - Onions and Garlic

 Scratch the back of any swine who roots up gold for me?

Tickle the horns of Mammon with my left hand, while my right, too proud to know his partner's business, takes in the fee? No thank you! Cyrano De Bergerac

The Senate passed the bill with one Republican vote. The House will likely pass it this spring sometime. And the world will not end. Rich Miller Daily Southtown

Congressman Jesse Jackson, Junior resigned and the world did not end. Illinois was ranked last in the nation 'on so many levels' and the world did not end.  I used one cup each Onion and Garlic and I thought my world would end. It was a mistake of gargantuan gastronomical grief.

I love onions. I love garlic.  They are wonderful together,  No matter how much I try, the two flavor staples do not come out equal.  Imagine, I prepare a big boiling pot of pasta and I chop/mince/dice equal parts and marry a blend of  1Cup- Onion and 1Cup -Garlic in a sizzling skillet of unsalted butter.

Onions, Garlic what's the difference? They don't work.

People are not food stuffs!  I know and outside of certain districts of Papua New Guinea, or marooned Rugby teams in Andes, people are not food stuffs.  People are people who need people!

Needing something does not change the definition of something else. That is poetry, metaphysics, or Springfield, Illinois.  Politicians have been paid to vote that Gay Marriage can't wait.  Gay Marriage - which is civil unions with greater clout to bring lawsuits against individuals, corporations and churches -is declared a human right.

Human Rights, previously argued according to the preamble of the American Constitution are granted by God, are now created by Greg Harris, Heather Steans, Mike Madigan, Dan Burke, Billy Cunningham & etc. and signed by Gov. Pat ( 25%) Quinn.

Marriage is a sacrament and the only one of the Seven Sacraments that is shared by two persons - a man and woman.  The sacramental intent is to bring about a family - have kids.  Guys are onions - they bring tears  to one's eyes and more onion is required to be effective.  Girls are garlic- flavorful, aromatic and delightful and less is often so much more. They work well together according to their individual natures.

When we pretend that an onion, or a clove of garlic are the same, we have people running to nearest receptacle.

My guess is that Gay Marriage will pass in House, just as it did in the Illinois Senate.  My Representative has already tickled the horn of Mammon*.


The marriage of equal parts garlic and onion Illinois!

Next up - playing football in hockey gear.

*Mamona; the spelling Mammona is contrary to the textual evidence and seems not to occur in printedBibles till the edition of Elzevir. The derivation of the word is uncertain, perhaps from mmn as seen inmtmwn, though the Targums, which use the word frequently, never regard it as the equivalent ofmtmwn, which the Greek always renders thesauroi, cf. Job 3:4; Proverbs 2:4. But cf. also HebrewSirach 42:9, bth l'b mtmnt sqr where the margin reads mtmwn, "to the father his daughter is as ill-gotten treasure." In the New Testament only Matthew 6:24, and Luke 16:9-13, the latter verse repeating Matthew 6:24. In Luke 16:9 and 11 Mammon is personified, hence the prevalent notion, emphasized by Milton, that Mammon was a deity. Nothing definite can be adduced from the Fathers in support of this; most of their expressions which seem to favour it may be easily explained by the personification in Luke; e.g. "Didascalia", "Do solo Mammona cogitant, quorum Deus est sacculus"; similarly St. Augustine, "Lucrum Punice Mammon dicitur" (Serm. on Mt., ii); St. Jerome in one place goes near to such an identification when (Dialogue Against the Luciferians 5 ) he quotes the words: "No man can serve two masters", and then adds, "What concord hath Christ with Belial?" But in his "Commentary on Matt," and in Epistle 22.31, he lends no countenance to it: "'Ye cannot serve Godand Mammon.' Riches, that is; for in the heathen tongue of the Syrians riches are called Mammon." But Mammon was commonly regarded as a deity in the Middle Ages; thus Peter Lombard (II, dist. 6) says, "Riches are called by the name of a devil, namely Mammon, for Mammon is the name of a devil, by which name riches are called according to the Syrian tongue." Piers Plowman also regards Mammon as a deity.The expression "Mammon of iniquity" has been diversely explained, it can hardly mean riches ill-gotten, for they should of course be restored. If we accept the derivation from 'mn we may render it "riches in which men trust", and it is remarkable that the Septuagint of Psalm 37:3, renders 'mwgh by plouto, or "riches", as though hinting at such a derivation. The expression is common in the Targums, wheremmwn is often followed by sqr corresponding to the adikias of Luke, thus see on Proverbs 15:27; but it is noteworthy that Sirach 5:8 "goods unjustly gotten" chremasin adikois, reads in Hebrew nks-sqrand not mtmwn. For the various explanations given by the Fathers see St. Thomas, II-II.32.7 ad 3um.

Newshound Steve Rhodes, Poet JJ Tindall and Private Eye Ed Hammer Craft Ultimate ChiTown Tourists Stops

I read The Beachwood Reporter everyday* and my Testosterone level is higher than it was when I was Nineteen and My Investments in Precious Metals Have Made Me the Crassus of  South Rockwell! - Pat Hickey - Your Internet White Noise Specialist

Exclusive: Chicago's New Tourist Attractions!

Zip Lines And Petting Zoos

"Intriguing new attractions to make Chicago more appealing to international tourists could be implemented within months with the potential to attract 75 million visitors by 2020, blowing past Mayor Rahm Emanuel 50 million goal, the board chairman of Choose Chicago said Thursday," the Sun-Times reports.

"Glass-enclosed cable cars along the Chicago River, designated club cars on CTA trains to O'Hare Airport and plane rides along the lakefront may sound pie-in-the-sky but Bruce Rauner portrayed the ideas as attainable within a relatively short time frame."

And that's not nearly the half of it! The Beachwood has learned that the following ideas are also under consideration:

* Virtual City Council: Tourists invited to sit in city council meetings and cast actual votes as long as they agree to always vote Yes for the sake of historical accuracy.

* Downtown Zip Lines: Also known as Rapid Transit Air Lanes. Try one yourself or hail a Zip Cab.

* Drone Pilot For A Day: Fire missiles into random groups of Yemeni and Afghan civilians from an official U.S. military kiosk at Navy Pier.

* The Jesse Jackson Jr. Petting Zoo at Millennium Park:Stocked with just one species: Elk.

* Taste of Terre Haute: A festival featuring the food of the Terre Haute federal pen.

* Foreclosure Walking Tours: Tours last eight hours a day for a month. Patrons issued concealed 9MM Glocks, cadaver chalk and recycled red-light cameras.

* CompStat Theater: Watch from behind the glass as police chief Garry McCarthy reams out his commanders for embarrassing the mayor by not preventing crime it is impossible for them to prevent.

* Pizzeria UNO: Rebranded as the city's cloutiest pizza.

* CTA Grand Jury Trains: One of several brand extensions capitalizing on the popularity of the CTA Christmas Train franchise. Also: The CTA iPhone Robbery Train and the CTA Concealed Carry Train.

* Millennium Park 2.0: A life-size replica of a working U.S. Steel plant will rise on the site of the former U.S. Steel plant on the Southeast Side. All tourists who browse through the faux plant will be directed through the gift shop, where a half-dozen rotating part-time cashier jobs that pay minimum wage will be filled by former steelworkers who don't yet have mesothelioma.

* Charter Vest Rentals: Adventure tourists who want to visit real Chicago neighborhoods will be offered body armor rentals at airport and downtown kiosks. Proceeds will go to help struggling charter schools.

* Photos With Jim Belushi: He'll pay you to take a photo with him. Hopefully tourists will then pay it forward by spending that money at local establishments.

* Chicago 911: Tourists invited to respond to 911 calls the police don't take anymore.

* The Chicago Ghost Payroll Marathon: In lieu of actually running, spend three hours in a bar then show up at the finish line to collect your ribbon.

- J.J. Tindall, Ed Hammer, Steve Rhodes

Comments welcome.

Permalink

Posted on February 26, 2013

* except when Bother Rhodes has some lame ass excuse and then I have to re-read the previous day's pithy missives.

Busy Morning for a Lazy Man

The events of the morning of Monday February 25, 2013 recounted, as I can think of nothing else of weight and moment.

Yesterday, as I recall -

3:45 AM: The alarm! The goofy cat treated me to a hairball omelet as I padded from my basement lair to the shower. Following a litany of obscenities and vain threats, I gave up the staring contest with the soul-less creature;clean its regurgitation, it's sandbox and refilled the water and Whiskas mess-kits. Then, I got my revenge by smearing the goof's eyes with the Neo-Sporin ointment.  She hates that stuff and at half a yard a tube I am right with her.

I am a shallow man.

On to the shower!!!!!!  A five minute respite from cat concerns and my time and energy saving shaving in full torrent.

Selection of the day's snappy satire, fitting to the obligations and salutations of the day - smartly pressed Oxofrd cloth shirt, not so smartly pressed chinos and the bullet-proof and Hawk resistant charcoal Irish knit sweater from Kerry, my Leo windbreak and on what passes for a head my charcoal eight-point Donegal herringbone skimmer - Watch Ou'Now!



4:30 AM: After checking my sleeping bairns and the front and back doors and the saltiest of valedictions to the  black trichobezoar blowing quadriped, I stepped out into the waning dark.  My neighbor Jimmy the Fireman was coming home and we hailed on another with congenial good nature attendant to most south siders -compliments pass when the quality meet. 

No presipitation whatsoever, storm warning notwithstanding and just the slightest of breezes.

Coffee with Karim, Lari and Vaneta at Dunkin Donuts and the trip to Leo.

4:50: Open the iron gates to the faculty parking lot and no need to scrape the ice from Old # 7 Grey Van. Office work.

6:00: Go go get the Villains ( Bronzeville and Canaryville)

6:20: 46th & Lowe Call the ever sleepy truant - no answer.

6:31: Depart for Dunkin Donuts in Bronzeville. Chat with the regulars pay for three French crullers for Big Man ( Freshman Football/Boxer)

6:50: Depart for BP Station Bronzeville - Call truant again.  Two more Leo Men of Steel board the board - witty repartee.  Depart for Pizza Nova 43rd & Wallace.

7:02: Pull up well past the edge of the building in order to scan the foot traffic southbound on Wallace seven gents board.  Witty Repartee Morphs Hip-Hop Meets Country. I admonish, "Gentlemen, in order to maintain my avuncular attitude for all and sundry, understand that vulgarity is no substitute for wit."

Bronzeville Big Man's Riposte- "Hickey, do Uh-Vunklar mean gay?"

Howls of disdain and cheeky chuckles at my expense. Depart for Graham Elementary faculty parking at 46th & Emerald - No Truant and no return call ( Little bastard!).  One gent boards. " No donuts, again!  This sucks Ass!"

With smile of understanding I reply, " I quite agree and so does the vacuity of my accounts -checking and savings."

7:15: Depart for the hallowed halls of Leo High School enter the southbound Dan Ryan at 43rd Street and deftly merge to the express lanes.

7:29: Arrive at Leo High School -" I'll drive you bums to Nova after school."  I back the vehicle in place and return to my work station.

If I had to work for a living, I'd resent that hairball.

Sequester Friday in Peoria!

Impact of March 1st Cuts on Middle Class Families, Jobs and Economic Security: Illinois
Unless Congress acts by March 1st
, a series of automatic cuts—called the sequester—will take effect that threaten hundreds of thousands of middle class jobs, and cut vital services for children, seniors, people with mental illness and our men and women in uniform.  Your Obama White House!

Once you learn the signals the paly is easy -Obama's Crowd shouts, "Middle Class!" And You get into a very wide stance and wait for it!

Boy, Our Barack Obama has really grown in the job.  Remember the Great Flu Inoculation Panic of 2009?  Seems like only yesterday. Wasn't That a Time?



Now, He's really grown!  One week after his Man's Country Titleist assignation with Reggie White, some Fossil Fuel 1%ers and the America's Beer Goggles Champ and Senior Open Skank-Tiger in Florida, President Wet Britches has the skies pissing lava! Sequester Friday hits March 1, 20123



Think of the Children!  The Air-Traffic Controllers!  Rt 66!  look what is awaiting Illinois Tax Czar and Pie-Chart Wiz Ralphie Martre:



Hyde Park!



Evanston!


The Paul Simon Institute!



Pat Quinn's Fans~!



I mean, what would Jesus do?  Go golfing?

To Those Who Worship What They Call 'Science and Reason,' Wake Up! Your Chute's Fouled!

I misplace my cellphone at least three times a week.  I know that it was not 'stolen,' nor did it vanish into thin air.  I forgot where I left the damn nuisance of a device.

By re-tracing my steps and actively searching out the most possible places, I find the cellphone.  Science is nice, but hardly a deity.  Progressive demi-gods who sneer at faith ( read the comment sections to articles having to do with anything remotely to do with religion) because faith does not require applied science.

Science comes in two forms Macro(theoretical) and Micro (applied) sciences.  Theoretical science helps man to understand the world and Applied science attempts to change, or alter the world. After Copernicus did some theoretical numbers crunching on the position of the planets, the very first applied scientists were weapons contractors to the Italian City States - Da Vinci and Galileo.  These gents were making better artillery and defense works.  Applied Science has historically worked to make killing and terrorizing populations more practical and efficient, from Leonardo to Oppenheimer.

Science works with groups.  Religion works through individuals.

Bertrand Russell once argued that a man marooned on a desert island prior to the 17th Century Age of Science and Enlightenment would have and easier time making do, than one of us. We are far more dependant upon the gizmos that science has wrought - Tom Hanks notwithstanding.  The primitive man of faith would be an adept tool-making, hunting, gathering and building shelter.  Modern man is dependent. Ask any teen driver the directions to anyplace. Ask any Honors Physics student to use a slide rule.

I read a wonderful article by the Irish genius, Kevin Myers, the other day concerning the death plunge of George Smith, a test pilot in the 1950's.  Mr. Smith was the first man to eject from a supersonic jet.



Then, came a day two years later when science went south on the pilot. Here is the story:

LOOK: I understand nothing about the origins of life – but maybe the experience of George Smith helps cast some light on it. Just 58 years ago this coming Tuesday, Smith, a US test pilot, decided to spend his Saturday morning dropping some clothes off at the laundry.He then popped into the offices of his employer, North American Aviation, to clear some paperwork.
A mechanic there told him that an F-100 aircraft, number 659, was just off the production line, and needed a test-flight: would he care to do it? At around the same time, Los Angeles businessman Art Berkell was thinking about abandoning a futile morning's fishing off Laguna Beach. The day had been cold and wet, and he and his two companions, his lawyer Mel Simon and the latter's 15-year old son Robert had caught nothing. They discussed returning, but decided to stay on a little bit longer, just in case. . .
Meanwhile, not bothering to put on his flying-gear or boots, but just donning a life-jacket over his sports-shirt and slacks, George scrambled into the supersonic F-100 and took off. At 35,000ft he levelled off and began to fly at around 800mph. Suddenly, the nose of the F-100 Super Sabre pointed right downward, and the plane began to hurtle vertically towards the sea. He attempted to pull back on the control-stick: nothing. A fellow F-100 pilot nearby saw his predicament and urged him to bail out.
He jettisoned his canopy, and the blast of air entered the cockpit like an explosion. An RAF pilot who had put his arm up into a gale of 600mph had seen it severed from his body. Smith leant forward to shield himself from this brutal tornado, thereby shoving his legs tightly into the footwell. This could mean the amputation of both legs and therefore his death when he ejected. But without thinking, he hit the ejector handle, and the blast of the slipstream whisked his legs clear as he rocketed upwards.
At this point, he experienced a deceleration of 64g. This meant his body for a moment weighed some six tons. His blood alone would have weighed 963lbs: nearly half a ton. This caused super-haemorrhaging from his capillaries into the surrounding tissue. Then the g-force fell to 29, which was still enough to have killed him instantly: yet he endured it for some 20 seconds. Not only that. He had been automatically ejected from his ejector seat, and was now tumbling uncontrollably at several hundred miles an hour, seriously damaging his internal organs.
Down below, the fishing boat was just about to call it quits, when the 10 tons of F-100, still dropping supersonically, exploded in the water 200 yards behind them. I think this is when even a Mother Superior may properly have cried, "Holy f**k, what the f**k was that?" Next moment, the impact wave nearly sank them.
What next? Young Robert looked up and saw the half-opened, half-torn parachute, with George Smith attached, hurtling downward and at a fatal speed. Yet just before George hit the water, a gust of wind opened the 'chute sufficiently to break his fall. But he was unconscious, and so could not inflate his lifejacket. Miraculously, pockets of air inside his sports shirt kept him afloat just long enough for the fishing smack to reach him.
I've kept the best bit back. During World War II, Art Berkell had captained an air-sea rescue launch, and had fished some 275 downed airmen from the ocean. He knew exactly what to to do in this situation. The three fisherman hauled George aboard their boat, and Art performed life-saving first aid while they sped for the shore. Doctors in Los Angeles hospital were baffled. No American had ever hit the air faster than the speed of sound and survived. George's heartbeat was almost unnoticeable, and to all extents and purposes, he had no blood pressure. His internal organs – his liver and lower intestine especially – had suffered levels of damage unknown to medicine in a still-living man. His mouth, ears, and eyelids were torn open and bruised from the shocking power of the wind. If he survived, George would surely be both blind and deaf.
But George Smith did not die. His body, including his eyes and ears, repaired itself during his seven months in hospital. And on August 23, 1955, he returned to his old job. On at least half a dozen occasions during the final flight of Super Sabre 659, George Smith should have died, and didn't; but surely the most amazing aspect of all was the presence, at the very point of impact with the water, of perhaps the most experienced air-sea rescue launch-captain in the entire world. The odds against such a coincidence meant that it could not occur. Yet it did. And that's the point of this column. I said many times how sceptical I am about life spontaneously generating on earth. Yet maybe it was against such impossible odds that the first ever DNA molecule was assembled; and reproductive life thus began. . .

Science is nice.  Something sacred is worlds more important and vital.

Churches Go Secular and Meet the Wrecking Ball

There is flurry of media stories about the closing of Catholic schools in America.  I don't know if that is meant to trumpet the secular tendencies to cry " We believe in Science and Reason!  We are Evolved and on the Right Side of History and, by Zeus, Bill Moyers thinks well of us!"   That's nice.

Perhaps, it is a an actual call to action.

I go to church. Catholics call it Celebrating the Eucharist.  It seems to me that in congregations where the priest is central to the worship, as Christ's consecrated celebrant, the pews are packed.  In others, where the Rev. Mr. Clergy holds the congregation captive, if not captivated with his stunning personal charisma and NPR homiletic stylings, there is plenty of seating and more than a few husbands pulling the Judas shuffle* after communion. Where the sacred and the traditional hold, the devout can be found.

Catholic schools are traditionally appendages of the parish church, when the parish empties so too the schools. Catholics feel an obligation to provide faith-rooted services to all and the economic realities are of that sensibility are becoming all too real. especially in the inner-city. 

In my years of service to Leo High School in the Auburn Gresham community, I have witnessed the closings of the following parish schools - St. Leo, St. Justin Martyr, St. Dennis, St. Killian, St. Ethelda, St. Thomas More . . .to name but a few as well as Academy of Our Lady ( Longwood) and St. Martin Porres High Schools.  Most of these closing had been the result of racial change and the infeasibility of continued operation due to enrollment and family by-in - paying tuition.

Alone of the above mentioned parishes, St. Thomas More continues as a church and attracts parishioners from far beyond its territorial boundaries.  Father Tony Brankin and his successor maintained the traditional Catholic worship and eschewed the rather sad attempt of some pastors to morph into a non-descript Christian place of worship.  St. Sabina Parish alone, by dint of its pastor's political savvy and personal magnetism thrives as a definitively Black Church. Father Brankin filled the pews without aid of the Chicago media, or celebrity guests. He did so, as does his successor, by maintaining the sacred in the Catholic liturgy -in the vernacular and in Latin.

Father Brankin has managed to do the same for St. Odilo's parish in Berwyn, where it is very tough to find a seat at every Mass. Schools that are rooted in the Catholic traditions do well. However, funding most be provided.  Here at Leo High School, black and white alumni pour funding back to the school that prepared them.  The bulk of the Alumni giving comes from the aging white graduates and much work is going to be needed to find ways of shoring up the loss in contributions from dying patrons.

Leo High School has provided a quality college preparatory education for the sons of Chicago families since 1926.  From 1926 until 1990, the majority of students at Leo were Roman Catholic. From 1991- 2011 less than 9% of the African American student body claimed to be Catholic.  In 2011, 12% of the students are now Catholic.  Here's where it gets tough - 87% of these students receive financial assistance provided by the school or the Big Shoulders Fund. Leo High School struggles to boost its enrollment and attract more families who can or are willing to meet the cost of a Catholic education.

To my surprise, the closing of churches also greatly affect the Protestant churches and it seems for much of the same reasons. Jeffrey Walton offers a solid study. 

Regardless of if they are traditionalist or revisionist, these older churches are leasing their church buildings to pre-schools and other non-church groups and feature graying congregations.

With this backdrop from my local community in mind, Associated Baptist Press caught my attention this week with a story about a church in Decatur, Georgia which is about to be shuttered, demolished, and re-developed into a shopping center. Once drawing 500 persons on a Sunday, Scott Boulevard Baptist Church is now down to less than 50 members, most of which are rapidly aging.To be clear, the congregation, affiliated with the moderate-liberal Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, isn’t dissolving. Having secured a lease agreement with a nearby church, Scott Boulevard will continue on without their facility of 60 years. But the article establishes the downward trajectory of the church.
“Congregational aging, if unplanned for, can be gut-wrenching,” the article reads. “And it’s likely in store for more congregations who fail to track the intersecting trends of giving and aging that eventually forced Scott Boulevard from its property.” . . . 

Scott Boulevard’s story reminded me of two Baptist congregations in my town. One was never large and failed to cultivate children’s programs, by default directing any new families who arrived at the church to another (thriving) Baptist congregation a few blocks north. The small congregation dissolved, sold its building to another church, and placed the revenue from the sale in the hands of a Baptist mission organization. It was a God-honoring exit, but not what they had probably hoped for.

The other church, housed in a large building, once attracted over 1,500 persons on a Sunday. In the 1970s they failed to adapt to changing demographics – namely, an influx of northerners and immigrants – and the congregation is now down to about 50 persons. I am told that every young church plant in Arlington has hopefully inquired about moving into the church building. . . . we note that many fading congregations proclaim liberal theologies that are not in accord with traditional church teachings. But while theological traditionalism is almost always a prerequisite for a large, vibrant congregation, it is not the only element. (emphases my own) 

There must be attention to core values and also attention mission strategies and tactics.  Religion has enough wolves licking their chops in anticipation of a slowed gait; the secular world has replaced faith with science.  That is foolish in itself.  Science (theoretical) is merely a tool to somehow understand the world and practical science a means to tweak problems.  Wisdom begins with fear (respect) for God and that respect is merely means of sorting the tools.

* (Catholicism) The act of leaving Mass early, typically between receiving communion and the concluding rite, without a justifiable reason for doing so. The Judas shuffle is named after Judas Iscariot, who left the Last Supper (the first Mass/Divine Liturgy) early in order to summon the guards to arrest Jesus. This is also known as pulling a Murphy.