Sunday, March 30, 2008

Gabby Barry Obama's Cracker Barrel Funhouse - Set a Spell!

'Right There's Where the Big Man went Back into the sea . . .'

Hat Tip to John Rubery - Marthon Pundit

Click my post title for the whopper yarned up by Gabby Barry back in Atlanta a while back - after a new snappy yarn around Gabby Barry's Cracker Barrel!

Why, pull up a cracker barrel and let Old Gabby Barry spin a whopping good yarn that'll tickle yer funny bones and melt your hearts . . .Well, you see now, it was way back in '69, when my Pappy went a lobster prospectin' offa Martha's Vineyard Hawaii, I was just a sprat then, ya see and I mighta gotta couple a couplets just a . . .tad off'n this here drama-poem . . . let's see, now . .

Ol' Pap Obama borry'd a skiff that leaked like the Bush Administration when Scooter had couple a pulls from the Old Clay Keg, ya see ( Old Gabby Barry pulls out and snaps open a Buck knife and commences to whittle away at a piece of driftwood) and that old skiff 'n he rode out through the surf offa Nantucket, Hawaii. Surf was particular sharp and durn'd if that Ol Skiff didn't sprung a leak and the Atlantic -Pacific Ocean started a bubblin' up through the planks and Pap set to all the balin' and a whupping the wet stuff up over the gunwhales and the waters wouldn't help none 'cuz they was that determined to have Ol Pap. Pap was a By-God Kenyan and No Kenyan'll allow that old bubbly stuff to stop him. No, Sir!

Well Sir, ( Gabby Barry sets down the driftwood and goes snake-eyed) the Atlantic-Pacific said "She'd have Pap - the Ol Sea-Witch Herself!

Pap, weren't a swimmer; and he was an Economics Major Lobstering Man! Down the Old Ocean pulled Pap!

Pap went into what he thought was a dream - he dreamed of a Huge black car a flyin' like a BOAC 727! A Huge Black 1967 Oldsmobile Delmont 88. And down in the foamy brine it plunged! SA WHOSH! Down into the foamy brine! A Giant of Man popped through a busted window of the '67 Delmont and swam like a Mark IV Torpedo straight to where Pap Obama - a Kenyan Lobstering' Economics Man - was sinking to Davvy Jones' Locker.

Down Pap Obama went and he thought he's gonner when he's grabbed by the powerful fist of this mighty man around the scruff of Pap's brand new White Arrow Shirt Size 14 1/2" collar - Pap was wiry.

Pap was groggy and poppin' in and out of his dreamy state. He sorta came to . . . and saw the Huge Man with Thick curly hair and a Manly Jaw-line that woulda done Tom Mix Proud, Sir!

The Man was not even wet.

Pap managed 'Thankee, Stranger.' But the Big Man Moved off to the Surf Again.

'Where to Friend?,' yelled Pap.

'Gotta Go, Mary Jo . . .' and into the crashing surf offa Martha's Vineyard Hawaii disappeared the BIGGEST MAN Pap would ever hope to meet. That Big Man Saved Pap's Bacon! Pap give up the bacon - an all manner of pork with time -but Pap was a-mighty troubled.

'Why'd that Big Feller call me Mary Jo? My Name's Barry Senior! Ain't that wonderment?'

Well young 'uns. I'm done with my yarn and done a whittlin' this here $100 Dime outta this here driftwood an' it's got Ol Pap's likeness on it. Can I make Change, or what, young fellers? Now, scat - listen to yer folks, eat yer vegetables, mind yer manners, an believe ever' word ya here on MSNBC- The Tool Shed! Now, scat and get to yer chores! See you all, next week, around Gabby Barry's Cracker Barrel!

1 comment:

Editor said...

Hilarious prose, Pat! Point taken. Well-done!