Billy, tell Eric Z to 'call' me; I thinks I gots a place for that kid, Snowden. How's retirement? I see you are doing side-walk marketing for Liberty Tax Preparations - pensions sure ain't what they was! "- Stanley Ikernberry Uof I Utility Grifter
A spokesman for Russian President Vladimir Putin said Tuesday that Snowden had withdrawn his request for asylum there because of Putin’s (dubious) requirement that Snowden stop doing damage to the United States. WikiLeaks announced Tuesday that he’s still seeking asylum from 20 countries, including such bastions of freedom as China, Cuba and Venezuela. Dana Milbank - Washington Post
Chicago is the only only city in the world where a law breaker can get square deal.
Milton Bradley, formerly of the Chicago Cubs and MLB, parted our sanctuary city for the sunnier coast. Between 2011-12 he tuned up his bride, because he was smokin' loud in front of kiddies. He will now go away for six semesters. Had Milton not been the obstreperous lout with a lousy batting average, he might have avoided incarceration altogether and garnered an academic posting at De Paul University, or as an Urban Translator along side of Gator Bradley in Wrongful Conviction Heater Trials.
Milton, you should have stayed put, Son! Tio Hardiman's missus has been 'induced' to drop the Brown Hand Procedure charges.
Wife beaters get work in Chicago - columnists and anti-violence activists. Charges disappear like magic.
Any malefactor can get work in the City That Works for Some. Cliff Kelley is a disc jockey. America's domestic terrorism Mr. & Mrs. North - Billy and Bernardin Ayers & Dorhn helped kill cops and blew up buildings only to become Distinguished Professors at Cement City (UICC) and Northwestern University.
There are ex-con Aldermen and ex-con Obama strategists, like Bob "the Shank" Creamer - Terra Haute Alumnus and Schakowsky Spouse. Chicago is a sanctuary city for illegal aliens, but more so the de facto sanctuary city of Progressive Blessed Criminals. Rahm ordered Chicago be the Welcome City! More so, Chicago provides The Laundered Life!
Chicago is not unlike a medieval church where felons find not only shelter but a comfortable income.
Why would Edward Snowden opt to end his days in banana burgs like La Paz, Quito, or Caracas, when he could Lou Malnati his way to a quiet grave right here in Chicago - via the Laundered Life.
My advice, to Snowden would be
1. Dump Glenn Greenwald and seek the patronage of Stanley Ikenberry ( Bill Ayers' Chinaman U of I Utility Grifter)
2. Have Dad make a drop to the Re-elect Pat Quinn Campaign, Personal PAC, or WTTW
3. Reach out to Carol Marin for a series of heart-tugging columns about your being bullied by Pipe-fitters and Cement Finishers
4. Wear Cubs gear in the Russkie airport
5. Advocate for Gay Marriage . . .after you leave Moscow of course
In no time at all, Eric Snowden will be a resident and distinguished fellow of Something-or-Other at De Paul, corned beef stacking judge at Manny's, WTTW panelist, BGA Whistle Blower Lecturer and roof-top seating life member, Hyde Park Neighborhood Watch Member and permanent guest of Chicago: The Sanctuary City! Be as big as your dreams and as big as the lies.