Monday, July 29, 2013

Tales of the South Side - Q (uirke) Erat Demonstradum

A Cajun, Tommy Quirke ( D' 68) and a Nova Scotian walked into a bar in Cardiff. . .over by Wales.

Tommy Quirke  never really experienced anything first hand in his life, as far as his converational skills could reveal. The amiable De La Salle Institute grad  T. Q. always referenced something heard on  the Q.T.

Person -" Hey, Tommy did you notice that your fly is open?"

T. Q. - " No, but Butchie told me all about when I was coming out of the John."

Tommy Quirke  had, what one might call,  a Rich and Vicarious Life.

Recently, Tommy Quirke went on holiday in the United Kingdom where he charmed three vacationing gents like himself with Chicago Twice Told Tales ( at least)  .

In the beautiful Welsh costal town of Cardiff, T.Q. shared the vista taken in by millions from the Arthur of legend along with a Scot from Canada and a Cajun from Louisiana. They repaired to a pub and sampled the craft brews. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.

"Y'ken," said the Nova Scotian, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Sayn Edmund's there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now,the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you."

'Aiyee! Mo chagren !" cried  the Cajun, " Getting down to my salle bière in  the Bayaou Teche,  Le Pecker Rouge, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhh, that's nothin," said Tommy Quike. "Back on the south side a' Chicago , there's Ryan's Bar, over by the Midas shop. Now,  the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house!"

The Scotian and the Cajun  immediately poured  scorn on the South Side Irishman's claims. But, the bold Tommy Quike swears every word is true!

"Well," said the Canadian Caledonian, "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me myself, personally, no," said the reliable Quirke, "But it did happen to me sister."

Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

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