Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Feeding the Watchdog after Waking Andy from His Snooze - It's a Shakman Thing

Pre-Metra Madigan Missive (above); Immediate Above Andy Epic Fail Shaw of The BGA!

If Andy Shaw told me that I was ' the coolest guy, that is what am,'  I'd leap as lordly as my lard-ass would allow away the pit of Despair and hit the nearest confessional and hope that the priest could talk me out of taking a Brodie off of the Skway Bridge into the 10th Ward.

More so, I have empirical knowledge of Andy Shaw's capacity for in-depth reporting, dating back to Terry Teel's resignation announcement.  Andy and his poor but amused cameraman for ABC burst into the Department of Planning and Development on the 10th floor of City Hall and Andy bleated to the patient woman manning the sign-in desk, " Andy Shaw, ABC 7 for the Teele Resignation."

The lovely woman smiled, " You are on the wrong floor."

Andy shrilled, as is his wont, " Terry Teele!!!  The Mayor's Zoning and Development Man!" and again the lovely woman softly informed the news hound, " Mr. Teele works for the Mayor and that would be on the 5th Floor?"

Can you say MICROPHONE!!!????

Of course not; nor would you.  Andy Shaw is the media, writ nasty,. . .well, the media without work which means a padded sinecure - The BGA. What set me on the Shavian Media-tation was Andy's cuddles with 560 Am- WIND's Joe Walsh Show which struck my fancy while returning from a wake in Indiana.  Giggled me up no end, it did.

On June 24th, as the saga goes Andy of BGA knocked the Bosses of Illinois to canvas with his exclusive Sun Times write up breaking wind all over the Land of Lincoln! I remember it like it was three weeks ago.
It's Metra scandal, I guess.  The California CEO Alex Clifford was sent packing with a chute full of moolah.

Heavens.  It turns out that patronage is the root of this evil. Mercy sakes.

Alex Clifford lawyer ed up with Goo-Goo Mogul and past master Machine Baiter Michael Shakman, LLc.

Michael Shakman is founder of Shakman Industries based upon the fairy tale notion that Government can be good and Politics well-scrubbed . . . of people who actually know what the hell they are doing. I can well imagine plutocrat Good Seal of Shakman kicking wideawake Andy to another Call to Doody,   " Howdy Andy, Andy, Andy Shaw!  Rouse yourself, gird your loins . . .your loins . . .there's mischief afoot and scoundrels abounding the rails . . .open wide; here's your feed. Now, scurry and scat!"

Alex Clifford has Michael Shakman and Andy Shaw on his side, which means that he has deep thinkers like Carol Marin, WTTW, WBEZ, and the Abner Mikva Coalition of Hand-Wringers, Whistle-Blowers and Ambulance Chasing Bottom Feeders with his back Rep.Deb Nepotism (LGBTQ and 33rd Ward Landfill Blind Girl) with his back.

The way I see the Metra mess is this.

  • A CEO with an Italian name does the Dutch Act
  • Metra needs a Goo-Goo approved suit -Alex Clifford
  • IL GOP is so screwed up it will nod with conviction when Andy announces a chance to hack Mike Madigan 
  • The IVI-IPI already agreed to play nice with the IL GOP to beat the BossesIllinois newspapers will have Mike Madigan bon fire until Labor DayAlex Clifford will speak nasty about Metra Board, Madigan, Ward Bossism, Culture of Corruption
  • Gov. Pat Quinn will attempt to kick Mike Madigan ala Charlie BrownThundering Dick Simposn will join Andy Shaw with a press conference about the latest UICC study Metra Bad/Mell Good/Mikva Good/ Paul Simon Institute polling
  • The Red Line will be closed to working folks, without access to millionaires and lobbyists
  • Andy Shaw will Pullman with the banjo activists Sheila Simon and Eric Zorn doing BoxCar Willie Hits in a display of Railroad Solidarity with Hobo-sexual panhandlers - A two disc set and video of this event for donations to BGA's RTA
  • Carol Marin will narrate The Life of Alex Clifford by Michael Shakman
  • Metra will provide transportation for summer travelers and working folks just the people Pat Quinn buys beers for at Stash & Stella's Stardust Saloon over by Midway.
  • Mike Madigan will cut his lawn, go by the  Jewel on Pulaski over by Midway, smile wryly, because he is the only non-dope in Illinois government.
  • Illinois Dems will continue to back dopes like Deb Mell, Toni Preckwinkle, Pat Quinn and whomever Boss Terry Cosgrove deems suitable to screw up Illinois further - Out of Chaos Comes More Chaotic Orders
  • Illinois GOP will back dopes with less gravitas than Democrats.  BTW_ Personal PAC is pumping tons of moolah into the coffers of souless suburban GOP phonies (38.8%).
  • Francis Cardinal George will continue to lead with his heart and head and maintain grace, calm and dignity amongst a Brookfield Zoo of ninnies clerical and lay
  • Mount Carmel/St. Rita/Loyola and west suburban Montini will begin double sessions in August

I will continue to recover my breath after scanning the my pay stub choc full of Obama care padding to tune of less-$145 than the previous two weeks after taxes and marvel that a nice salary ain't what it used to be, while awaiting the next property tax payoff to Karen Lewis and Speed cameras every twenty feet on Western Ave..  

Like I said, if Andy Shaw said that it was hot today, I'd bundle up like Quinn the Eskimo . . . no relation to  Quinn the Governor. If Andy Shaw informed me that a bird pooped on my head, I'd say, "Call Me Blondie!"

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