Thursday, June 16, 2011

Theological Conundrum in a Fabuleaux Fableux

In Old Chicago, the Everleigh Sisters had a fine relationship with a parish priest - Young Father Pat Molloy of St. Clementine's Mission at Cermak and Clark.

Ada and Mina Everleigh, the most successful Madames on the Levee, were bird lovers and had two parrots. The parrots became a problem, so Mina went to see Father Pat. "I have two talking female parrots," she tells him. "All they can say is 'Hi, we're Hookers. Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's awful," the priest agreed, "but I have a solution to your problem. I have two male parrots whom I've taught to pray, chant Latin and read Scripture. If we put your parrots with mine, I believe yours will stop saying that awful phrase and will instead learn to recite the word of God."

The next day, the Everleigh Girls brought their parrots to the run-down rectory of St. Clemmie's and put the two brassy birds in with the pious parrots, who were holding rosary beads and chanting in Gregorian in their cage -"Deus, ut aliquid nobis duabus puellis sexus eorum. Sacerdos . . . nos custodit."

"Hi, we're prostitutes," say the females. "Do you want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks at the other and squawks, "Close that Bible, Frank! Our prayers are answered!"

Haec est via quae semper in Chicago!
vadis ad ecclesiam

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