Newshound Steve Rhodes, Poet JJ Tindall and Private Eye Ed Hammer Craft Ultimate ChiTown Tourists Stops

I read The Beachwood Reporter everyday* and my Testosterone level is higher than it was when I was Nineteen and My Investments in Precious Metals Have Made Me the Crassus of  South Rockwell! - Pat Hickey - Your Internet White Noise Specialist

Exclusive: Chicago's New Tourist Attractions!

Zip Lines And Petting Zoos

"Intriguing new attractions to make Chicago more appealing to international tourists could be implemented within months with the potential to attract 75 million visitors by 2020, blowing past Mayor Rahm Emanuel 50 million goal, the board chairman of Choose Chicago said Thursday," the Sun-Times reports.

"Glass-enclosed cable cars along the Chicago River, designated club cars on CTA trains to O'Hare Airport and plane rides along the lakefront may sound pie-in-the-sky but Bruce Rauner portrayed the ideas as attainable within a relatively short time frame."

And that's not nearly the half of it! The Beachwood has learned that the following ideas are also under consideration:

* Virtual City Council: Tourists invited to sit in city council meetings and cast actual votes as long as they agree to always vote Yes for the sake of historical accuracy.

* Downtown Zip Lines: Also known as Rapid Transit Air Lanes. Try one yourself or hail a Zip Cab.

* Drone Pilot For A Day: Fire missiles into random groups of Yemeni and Afghan civilians from an official U.S. military kiosk at Navy Pier.

* The Jesse Jackson Jr. Petting Zoo at Millennium Park:Stocked with just one species: Elk.

* Taste of Terre Haute: A festival featuring the food of the Terre Haute federal pen.

* Foreclosure Walking Tours: Tours last eight hours a day for a month. Patrons issued concealed 9MM Glocks, cadaver chalk and recycled red-light cameras.

* CompStat Theater: Watch from behind the glass as police chief Garry McCarthy reams out his commanders for embarrassing the mayor by not preventing crime it is impossible for them to prevent.

* Pizzeria UNO: Rebranded as the city's cloutiest pizza.

* CTA Grand Jury Trains: One of several brand extensions capitalizing on the popularity of the CTA Christmas Train franchise. Also: The CTA iPhone Robbery Train and the CTA Concealed Carry Train.

* Millennium Park 2.0: A life-size replica of a working U.S. Steel plant will rise on the site of the former U.S. Steel plant on the Southeast Side. All tourists who browse through the faux plant will be directed through the gift shop, where a half-dozen rotating part-time cashier jobs that pay minimum wage will be filled by former steelworkers who don't yet have mesothelioma.

* Charter Vest Rentals: Adventure tourists who want to visit real Chicago neighborhoods will be offered body armor rentals at airport and downtown kiosks. Proceeds will go to help struggling charter schools.

* Photos With Jim Belushi: He'll pay you to take a photo with him. Hopefully tourists will then pay it forward by spending that money at local establishments.

* Chicago 911: Tourists invited to respond to 911 calls the police don't take anymore.

* The Chicago Ghost Payroll Marathon: In lieu of actually running, spend three hours in a bar then show up at the finish line to collect your ribbon.

- J.J. Tindall, Ed Hammer, Steve Rhodes

Comments welcome.

Permalink

Posted on February 26, 2013

* except when Bother Rhodes has some lame ass excuse and then I have to re-read the previous day's pithy missives.

Busy Morning for a Lazy Man

The events of the morning of Monday February 25, 2013 recounted, as I can think of nothing else of weight and moment.

Yesterday, as I recall -

3:45 AM: The alarm! The goofy cat treated me to a hairball omelet as I padded from my basement lair to the shower. Following a litany of obscenities and vain threats, I gave up the staring contest with the soul-less creature;clean its regurgitation, it's sandbox and refilled the water and Whiskas mess-kits. Then, I got my revenge by smearing the goof's eyes with the Neo-Sporin ointment.  She hates that stuff and at half a yard a tube I am right with her.

I am a shallow man.

On to the shower!!!!!!  A five minute respite from cat concerns and my time and energy saving shaving in full torrent.

Selection of the day's snappy satire, fitting to the obligations and salutations of the day - smartly pressed Oxofrd cloth shirt, not so smartly pressed chinos and the bullet-proof and Hawk resistant charcoal Irish knit sweater from Kerry, my Leo windbreak and on what passes for a head my charcoal eight-point Donegal herringbone skimmer - Watch Ou'Now!



4:30 AM: After checking my sleeping bairns and the front and back doors and the saltiest of valedictions to the  black trichobezoar blowing quadriped, I stepped out into the waning dark.  My neighbor Jimmy the Fireman was coming home and we hailed on another with congenial good nature attendant to most south siders -compliments pass when the quality meet. 

No presipitation whatsoever, storm warning notwithstanding and just the slightest of breezes.

Coffee with Karim, Lari and Vaneta at Dunkin Donuts and the trip to Leo.

4:50: Open the iron gates to the faculty parking lot and no need to scrape the ice from Old # 7 Grey Van. Office work.

6:00: Go go get the Villains ( Bronzeville and Canaryville)

6:20: 46th & Lowe Call the ever sleepy truant - no answer.

6:31: Depart for Dunkin Donuts in Bronzeville. Chat with the regulars pay for three French crullers for Big Man ( Freshman Football/Boxer)

6:50: Depart for BP Station Bronzeville - Call truant again.  Two more Leo Men of Steel board the board - witty repartee.  Depart for Pizza Nova 43rd & Wallace.

7:02: Pull up well past the edge of the building in order to scan the foot traffic southbound on Wallace seven gents board.  Witty Repartee Morphs Hip-Hop Meets Country. I admonish, "Gentlemen, in order to maintain my avuncular attitude for all and sundry, understand that vulgarity is no substitute for wit."

Bronzeville Big Man's Riposte- "Hickey, do Uh-Vunklar mean gay?"

Howls of disdain and cheeky chuckles at my expense. Depart for Graham Elementary faculty parking at 46th & Emerald - No Truant and no return call ( Little bastard!).  One gent boards. " No donuts, again!  This sucks Ass!"

With smile of understanding I reply, " I quite agree and so does the vacuity of my accounts -checking and savings."

7:15: Depart for the hallowed halls of Leo High School enter the southbound Dan Ryan at 43rd Street and deftly merge to the express lanes.

7:29: Arrive at Leo High School -" I'll drive you bums to Nova after school."  I back the vehicle in place and return to my work station.

If I had to work for a living, I'd resent that hairball.

Sequester Friday in Peoria!

Impact of March 1st Cuts on Middle Class Families, Jobs and Economic Security: Illinois
Unless Congress acts by March 1st
, a series of automatic cuts—called the sequester—will take effect that threaten hundreds of thousands of middle class jobs, and cut vital services for children, seniors, people with mental illness and our men and women in uniform.  Your Obama White House!

Once you learn the signals the paly is easy -Obama's Crowd shouts, "Middle Class!" And You get into a very wide stance and wait for it!

Boy, Our Barack Obama has really grown in the job.  Remember the Great Flu Inoculation Panic of 2009?  Seems like only yesterday. Wasn't That a Time?



Now, He's really grown!  One week after his Man's Country Titleist assignation with Reggie White, some Fossil Fuel 1%ers and the America's Beer Goggles Champ and Senior Open Skank-Tiger in Florida, President Wet Britches has the skies pissing lava! Sequester Friday hits March 1, 20123



Think of the Children!  The Air-Traffic Controllers!  Rt 66!  look what is awaiting Illinois Tax Czar and Pie-Chart Wiz Ralphie Martre:



Hyde Park!



Evanston!


The Paul Simon Institute!



Pat Quinn's Fans~!



I mean, what would Jesus do?  Go golfing?

To Those Who Worship What They Call 'Science and Reason,' Wake Up! Your Chute's Fouled!

I misplace my cellphone at least three times a week.  I know that it was not 'stolen,' nor did it vanish into thin air.  I forgot where I left the damn nuisance of a device.

By re-tracing my steps and actively searching out the most possible places, I find the cellphone.  Science is nice, but hardly a deity.  Progressive demi-gods who sneer at faith ( read the comment sections to articles having to do with anything remotely to do with religion) because faith does not require applied science.

Science comes in two forms Macro(theoretical) and Micro (applied) sciences.  Theoretical science helps man to understand the world and Applied science attempts to change, or alter the world. After Copernicus did some theoretical numbers crunching on the position of the planets, the very first applied scientists were weapons contractors to the Italian City States - Da Vinci and Galileo.  These gents were making better artillery and defense works.  Applied Science has historically worked to make killing and terrorizing populations more practical and efficient, from Leonardo to Oppenheimer.

Science works with groups.  Religion works through individuals.

Bertrand Russell once argued that a man marooned on a desert island prior to the 17th Century Age of Science and Enlightenment would have and easier time making do, than one of us. We are far more dependant upon the gizmos that science has wrought - Tom Hanks notwithstanding.  The primitive man of faith would be an adept tool-making, hunting, gathering and building shelter.  Modern man is dependent. Ask any teen driver the directions to anyplace. Ask any Honors Physics student to use a slide rule.

I read a wonderful article by the Irish genius, Kevin Myers, the other day concerning the death plunge of George Smith, a test pilot in the 1950's.  Mr. Smith was the first man to eject from a supersonic jet.



Then, came a day two years later when science went south on the pilot. Here is the story:

LOOK: I understand nothing about the origins of life – but maybe the experience of George Smith helps cast some light on it. Just 58 years ago this coming Tuesday, Smith, a US test pilot, decided to spend his Saturday morning dropping some clothes off at the laundry.He then popped into the offices of his employer, North American Aviation, to clear some paperwork.
A mechanic there told him that an F-100 aircraft, number 659, was just off the production line, and needed a test-flight: would he care to do it? At around the same time, Los Angeles businessman Art Berkell was thinking about abandoning a futile morning's fishing off Laguna Beach. The day had been cold and wet, and he and his two companions, his lawyer Mel Simon and the latter's 15-year old son Robert had caught nothing. They discussed returning, but decided to stay on a little bit longer, just in case. . .
Meanwhile, not bothering to put on his flying-gear or boots, but just donning a life-jacket over his sports-shirt and slacks, George scrambled into the supersonic F-100 and took off. At 35,000ft he levelled off and began to fly at around 800mph. Suddenly, the nose of the F-100 Super Sabre pointed right downward, and the plane began to hurtle vertically towards the sea. He attempted to pull back on the control-stick: nothing. A fellow F-100 pilot nearby saw his predicament and urged him to bail out.
He jettisoned his canopy, and the blast of air entered the cockpit like an explosion. An RAF pilot who had put his arm up into a gale of 600mph had seen it severed from his body. Smith leant forward to shield himself from this brutal tornado, thereby shoving his legs tightly into the footwell. This could mean the amputation of both legs and therefore his death when he ejected. But without thinking, he hit the ejector handle, and the blast of the slipstream whisked his legs clear as he rocketed upwards.
At this point, he experienced a deceleration of 64g. This meant his body for a moment weighed some six tons. His blood alone would have weighed 963lbs: nearly half a ton. This caused super-haemorrhaging from his capillaries into the surrounding tissue. Then the g-force fell to 29, which was still enough to have killed him instantly: yet he endured it for some 20 seconds. Not only that. He had been automatically ejected from his ejector seat, and was now tumbling uncontrollably at several hundred miles an hour, seriously damaging his internal organs.
Down below, the fishing boat was just about to call it quits, when the 10 tons of F-100, still dropping supersonically, exploded in the water 200 yards behind them. I think this is when even a Mother Superior may properly have cried, "Holy f**k, what the f**k was that?" Next moment, the impact wave nearly sank them.
What next? Young Robert looked up and saw the half-opened, half-torn parachute, with George Smith attached, hurtling downward and at a fatal speed. Yet just before George hit the water, a gust of wind opened the 'chute sufficiently to break his fall. But he was unconscious, and so could not inflate his lifejacket. Miraculously, pockets of air inside his sports shirt kept him afloat just long enough for the fishing smack to reach him.
I've kept the best bit back. During World War II, Art Berkell had captained an air-sea rescue launch, and had fished some 275 downed airmen from the ocean. He knew exactly what to to do in this situation. The three fisherman hauled George aboard their boat, and Art performed life-saving first aid while they sped for the shore. Doctors in Los Angeles hospital were baffled. No American had ever hit the air faster than the speed of sound and survived. George's heartbeat was almost unnoticeable, and to all extents and purposes, he had no blood pressure. His internal organs – his liver and lower intestine especially – had suffered levels of damage unknown to medicine in a still-living man. His mouth, ears, and eyelids were torn open and bruised from the shocking power of the wind. If he survived, George would surely be both blind and deaf.
But George Smith did not die. His body, including his eyes and ears, repaired itself during his seven months in hospital. And on August 23, 1955, he returned to his old job. On at least half a dozen occasions during the final flight of Super Sabre 659, George Smith should have died, and didn't; but surely the most amazing aspect of all was the presence, at the very point of impact with the water, of perhaps the most experienced air-sea rescue launch-captain in the entire world. The odds against such a coincidence meant that it could not occur. Yet it did. And that's the point of this column. I said many times how sceptical I am about life spontaneously generating on earth. Yet maybe it was against such impossible odds that the first ever DNA molecule was assembled; and reproductive life thus began. . .

Science is nice.  Something sacred is worlds more important and vital.

Churches Go Secular and Meet the Wrecking Ball

There is flurry of media stories about the closing of Catholic schools in America.  I don't know if that is meant to trumpet the secular tendencies to cry " We believe in Science and Reason!  We are Evolved and on the Right Side of History and, by Zeus, Bill Moyers thinks well of us!"   That's nice.

Perhaps, it is a an actual call to action.

I go to church. Catholics call it Celebrating the Eucharist.  It seems to me that in congregations where the priest is central to the worship, as Christ's consecrated celebrant, the pews are packed.  In others, where the Rev. Mr. Clergy holds the congregation captive, if not captivated with his stunning personal charisma and NPR homiletic stylings, there is plenty of seating and more than a few husbands pulling the Judas shuffle* after communion. Where the sacred and the traditional hold, the devout can be found.

Catholic schools are traditionally appendages of the parish church, when the parish empties so too the schools. Catholics feel an obligation to provide faith-rooted services to all and the economic realities are of that sensibility are becoming all too real. especially in the inner-city. 

In my years of service to Leo High School in the Auburn Gresham community, I have witnessed the closings of the following parish schools - St. Leo, St. Justin Martyr, St. Dennis, St. Killian, St. Ethelda, St. Thomas More . . .to name but a few as well as Academy of Our Lady ( Longwood) and St. Martin Porres High Schools.  Most of these closing had been the result of racial change and the infeasibility of continued operation due to enrollment and family by-in - paying tuition.

Alone of the above mentioned parishes, St. Thomas More continues as a church and attracts parishioners from far beyond its territorial boundaries.  Father Tony Brankin and his successor maintained the traditional Catholic worship and eschewed the rather sad attempt of some pastors to morph into a non-descript Christian place of worship.  St. Sabina Parish alone, by dint of its pastor's political savvy and personal magnetism thrives as a definitively Black Church. Father Brankin filled the pews without aid of the Chicago media, or celebrity guests. He did so, as does his successor, by maintaining the sacred in the Catholic liturgy -in the vernacular and in Latin.

Father Brankin has managed to do the same for St. Odilo's parish in Berwyn, where it is very tough to find a seat at every Mass. Schools that are rooted in the Catholic traditions do well. However, funding most be provided.  Here at Leo High School, black and white alumni pour funding back to the school that prepared them.  The bulk of the Alumni giving comes from the aging white graduates and much work is going to be needed to find ways of shoring up the loss in contributions from dying patrons.

Leo High School has provided a quality college preparatory education for the sons of Chicago families since 1926.  From 1926 until 1990, the majority of students at Leo were Roman Catholic. From 1991- 2011 less than 9% of the African American student body claimed to be Catholic.  In 2011, 12% of the students are now Catholic.  Here's where it gets tough - 87% of these students receive financial assistance provided by the school or the Big Shoulders Fund. Leo High School struggles to boost its enrollment and attract more families who can or are willing to meet the cost of a Catholic education.

To my surprise, the closing of churches also greatly affect the Protestant churches and it seems for much of the same reasons. Jeffrey Walton offers a solid study. 

Regardless of if they are traditionalist or revisionist, these older churches are leasing their church buildings to pre-schools and other non-church groups and feature graying congregations.

With this backdrop from my local community in mind, Associated Baptist Press caught my attention this week with a story about a church in Decatur, Georgia which is about to be shuttered, demolished, and re-developed into a shopping center. Once drawing 500 persons on a Sunday, Scott Boulevard Baptist Church is now down to less than 50 members, most of which are rapidly aging.To be clear, the congregation, affiliated with the moderate-liberal Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, isn’t dissolving. Having secured a lease agreement with a nearby church, Scott Boulevard will continue on without their facility of 60 years. But the article establishes the downward trajectory of the church.
“Congregational aging, if unplanned for, can be gut-wrenching,” the article reads. “And it’s likely in store for more congregations who fail to track the intersecting trends of giving and aging that eventually forced Scott Boulevard from its property.” . . . 

Scott Boulevard’s story reminded me of two Baptist congregations in my town. One was never large and failed to cultivate children’s programs, by default directing any new families who arrived at the church to another (thriving) Baptist congregation a few blocks north. The small congregation dissolved, sold its building to another church, and placed the revenue from the sale in the hands of a Baptist mission organization. It was a God-honoring exit, but not what they had probably hoped for.

The other church, housed in a large building, once attracted over 1,500 persons on a Sunday. In the 1970s they failed to adapt to changing demographics – namely, an influx of northerners and immigrants – and the congregation is now down to about 50 persons. I am told that every young church plant in Arlington has hopefully inquired about moving into the church building. . . . we note that many fading congregations proclaim liberal theologies that are not in accord with traditional church teachings. But while theological traditionalism is almost always a prerequisite for a large, vibrant congregation, it is not the only element. (emphases my own) 

There must be attention to core values and also attention mission strategies and tactics.  Religion has enough wolves licking their chops in anticipation of a slowed gait; the secular world has replaced faith with science.  That is foolish in itself.  Science (theoretical) is merely a tool to somehow understand the world and practical science a means to tweak problems.  Wisdom begins with fear (respect) for God and that respect is merely means of sorting the tools.

* (Catholicism) The act of leaving Mass early, typically between receiving communion and the concluding rite, without a justifiable reason for doing so. The Judas shuffle is named after Judas Iscariot, who left the Last Supper (the first Mass/Divine Liturgy) early in order to summon the guards to arrest Jesus. This is also known as pulling a Murphy.

Will International LGBTQ Activists Stonewall a Black Pope?

The Papal Conclave just got really interesting.  Peter Cardinal Turkson of Ghana is a black man.  The  Cardinal from Ghana just might become the first Black Pope since St. Gelasius (492-496).   Might.

The problem now confronting Cardinal Turkson is not in Consistory, the Klan, or with Catholics in general.  The problem leaping out of the closet is Gay Black-lash. While secular Europe, North America and OZ tend to embrace the Gay Rainbow, Asia, Central and South America and Africa, as well as Micronesia are yet, shall we say, less 'evolved' with regard to same sex marriage, same sex love and same sex anything.

Here in the United States, LGBTQ activists have been showered with millions of dollars to culturally and politically rewire the unevolved, via the news media and Hollywood, into a firm understanding that there are proud black men like MSNBC's Toure, who proudly helped abort his own child and equates Stonewall with Selma - Gay Love is a Civil Right, for Which Dr. King Was Martyred.

African Americans, Latinos, and ethnic Catholics can not and will not be allowed to be anything but Gay Complicit . . . compliant is no where near enough.

Just when the American Catholic Church has been all but completely marginalized with the endless drumming of yarns, true, or not, of universal child abuse, along comes a proud African Catholic contender for Chair of St. Peter.

Cardinal Turkson was being interrogated by CNN's Christiane Amanpour with all the skills of a Cougar Pharisee in an attempt to wedge the  Afrique religieux into the proper narrative corner.  The Cardinal did not take the bait:

 The African cardinal widely tipped to be the first black pope in modern history faced a firestorm of criticism last night after he laid the blame for clerical sex abuse crises at the feet of gay priests.

Cardinal Peter Turkson, who comes from Ghana, told an American journalist that similar sex scandals would never convulse churches in Africa because the culture was inimical to homosexuality.‘African traditional systems kind of protect or have protected its population against this tendency,’ he told Christiane Amanpour of CCN. ‘Because in several communities, in several cultures in Africa homosexuality or for that matter any affair between two sexes of the same kind, are not countenanced in our society,’ he continued.‘So that cultural taboo, that tradition has been there,’ said Cardinal Turkson, 64. ‘It has served to keep it out.’ . . . 
 
‘Cardinal Turkson’s comments show a surprisingly callous disregard for the human rights of millions of people worldwide,’ she told the Times.

Dang, that sure knocks the ruby slippers off of that one!  Hold on now, lets's here from the Civil Rights folks:

 Ruth Hunt, Stonewall director of public affairs, was among those to swiftly condemn his remarks.

"Cardinal Turkson’s comments show a surprisingly callous disregard for the human rights of millions of people worldwide,’ 

However, She did not say that the Cardinal is wrong.

Now, this is a troublesome moment for the Gay Curia.  The Civil Rights Meme Coalition could be split!  How Can We Celebrate a Pope Of Color, Who Is Not Rainbow Happy? What Would Toure Say?

Not even a government's scientific-dogma'd NHS could help:

But one NHS psychiatrist who has researched the field of clerical sex abuse agreed with the cardinal that homosexual abuse of adolescent males rather than paedophile attacks on children characterised the problem. 

‘I would say he is correct,’ said the doctor, who asked not to be named in fear of reprisals - including the loss of his job.‘Where the research has been done – for example in the United States and Australia – in the region of 80 per cent of the victims of sex abuse by priests are adolescent males rather than children.’ ( emphasis my own)

When the sex-abuse scandal took off here in America, the priests and Catholic spokespersons who pointed to this truth were hushed up.  The meme became Homosexuality Does Not a Pedophile Make! No, but a homosexual priest just might tend to find a high school aged Catholic Frank Merriwell just the ticket for long holiday week-end trip to Wisconsin.

If that priest, who wants what the heart wants, has a like-minded and inclined boss, or bosses -so much more the opportunity.

I expect that Cardinal Turkson will undergo the usual LGBTQ bastinado and perhaps an auto-de-fe, like the treatment Francis Cardinal George has been subjected to in Gay Chicago Values Illinois.
Cardinal Turkson will be ridiculed by the usual progressive puritans and be treated as the THE WOG WHO WOULD BE POPE. POPE HERMAN CAIN, I & etc.

Dan " Savage Love" Savage & Neil Steinberg will tell everyone that Copernicus was an evolved  and clouted American priest again.  MSNBC's angrogynous Chris Hayes will share insights with lightweight Eric Zorn on the Koch Brothers' involvements in Africa.  The usual breathless nonsense from the media. OMG,It is obvious SOMEONE has not seen The Book of Mormon!

The Gay Money will be on an Italian Cardinal and we will all be told to just get over it about having a Black Pope.  Ever see any Black in a Rainbow?

  

What Would Billy Corgan Think of Me?

Billy Corgan and Walter E.Smithe consult attorneys.

I woke up from a very deep sleep. . .great anxiety!  Gathering my thoughts and the bedclothes, that had been kicked to the floor in physical reaction to what must have been a moderate to mild nightmare, I framed the pieces of unconscious/subconscious images, sounds and patterns in fully conscious awareness that I had not given a thought to Billy Corgan.  I was troubled by this somnolent revelation.

In fact, I had not given Billy Corgan a thought for well over decade.  I listen to WCDPG =90.5 FM in the carand no longer need to cringe and fumble the dial away when WXRT dutifully plays one Billy's nasally screeches.

The last time that I gave Billy Corgan my fullest attention occured around the time that Chicago pulled the plug on the Pumpkins' Grant Park show in 1998 and every bed-wetter with a column whined to the 5th Floor "What about the Pumpkins, Man?  This is Harsh. So, Not Cool!"

Evidently, I am supposed to care and care deeply about Billy Corgan, because his fleshy dome is ubiquitous in Chicago media -print-web-tube.

Nothing for it but to soldier-on!  I am sure that Jesse and Sandy Jackson are not allowing the restless sleep of the previous night keep them from being about the obligations of the day!



My day has been productive and I am fulfilling my obligations contractual, parental, romantic, and theological; nevertheless, I continue to worry that I am not devoting as much thought to Billy Corgan, artist, musician, coffee bartender, salesman, wrestling aficionado, Hair Club For Men Eschewer and friend of Bill Kurtis's old lady as anyone who calls himself a true Chicagoan should.  I am quite sure that Chief Keef's every waking thought is with Billy Corgan.

There are beliefs that can not go ignored - I believe in the Holy Spirit,  the holy catholic church,  the communion of saints,  the forgiveness of sins,  the resurrection of the body,  and the life everlasting;
I believe that only a man and a woman can produce a child through marriage.  I do not believe that at my age I should use hair coloring.  I know that I do not at this time suffer from what is commercially warned as Low T, ED, or MSNBC.  I believe in One God, the Father the Almighty Maker of Heaven and Earth . . .I do believe that I have given Billy Corgan sufficient thought.

I do not know Billy Corgan would agree.  That troubles me some.

Get Your St. Baldrick's On and Get Your Hair Off at the Same Time!

  
This happy gent went from Buster Browne curls to Buster Douglas Badazz at last year's St. Baldrick's Fight for the Cure!

Be there and be Bald!

Catch some world class boxing from the Celtic, McGarry's and Leo Boxing Clubs! Meet Tommy Z!

Buy me Lunch!

By Phone: (888) 899‑2253Download Donation Form

EVENT DATE

Mar 9, 2013

START TIME

3:00 pm

LOCATION

Fight For A Cure 2013

115 Bourbon Street
3359 W 115th Street
Merrionette Park, IL US

VOLUNTEER EVENT ORGANIZERS

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708-259-7443Email Me

 

Skeets "Bub" Laidlaw's Billinois Tax Me Poll Numbers Are In!

 

Skeets "Bub" Laidlaw is a syndicate of sound policy.

Do you get the feeling that you are always "on the wrong side of history." because you happen to disagree with everyone but every person that you encounter?  Are you concerned that everyone thinks your thoughts and opinions are " just too sad, in SO many ways, hateful, bigotted, Zorn-ophobic, Schmich-less, Dold-deficient, Marin-aded and cowardly, illogical, toxic, foolhardy, Low T- tempered?"  You are not alone. You live in Illinois.  You are a victim of public policy.

The art of public policy in Illinois, and now the Nation, requires one to begin with a conclusion and draw everything but the kitchen sink to prove that conclusion.  Thus, " Illinois voters are overwhelmingly in favor of forking over ever last dime to provide comfortable and attractive underwear for members of IEA, AFSCME, SEIU and Ted Bolger of Custer Park, over-by Braidwood, IL"

If the area of public needs a flat-out Left of Left topping, no problem; the poll will conclude exactly what it sets out prove.

The Paul Simon Institute is just one such conclusion-drawing-to entity:

The ( "concealed carry)" hearing came as a new poll from the Paul Simon Public Policy Institute at Southern Illinois University showed a wide majority of Illinoisans want more restrictions on the sale of guns and large-capacity ammunition magazines.
The poll of 600 registered voters, taken January 27 through February 8, also showed a majority want to make assault weapons illegal.
In all, 72 percent of Illinoisans said “laws covering the sale of firearms should be made more strict.”
And, despite the perception that downstate voters are opposed to more gun control laws, the poll showed that 66 percent of voters outside of the Chicago area favor stricter gun control laws. (parenthetical my own)

Named for the bow-tie festooned US  Congressman and Senator who gained a reputation in the Illinois press as the Garrison Keillor of Illinois, who managed to do exactly what?  Never mind.  His little girl is soon to be our former Illinois Lt. Governor, who does exactly what?  Never mind.

The Paul Simon Institute and coalitions  formed by lawyers and political piece workers such as The Stop Concealed Carry Coalition help draw fluttering hearts to the already drawn conclusions.

Lee Goodman of the Stop Concealed Carry Coalition said Illinois should ignore the federal appeals court ruling and wait for the Illinois Supreme Court to weigh in on the issue.
“You should be working for laws that reduce the threat of violence,” Goodman said. “The more guns there are available to people… the more gun injuries and shootings you’re going to have.”

You see that way the Illinois Supreme Court which is elected with solid support of the Cook County Democratic Organization, Personal PAC, AFSCME, SEIU and Ted Bolger of Custer Park, Illinois will decide in favor of the conclusion already drawn. 

Here's some polling data prefabricated by the Paul Simon Institute in 2012:

The Paul Simon Public Policy Institute is pleased to announce:The 2012 Simon Institute Poll Results1. September 14, 2012 - In Illinois, Obama Leads Romney; Quinn's Job Approval Gets BetterIn Illinois, Obama Leads Romney; Quinn's Job Approval Gets Better - Saluki Times Press Release2. September 27, 2012 - Paul Simon Public Policy Institute White Paper:The 2012 Simon Poll on Ethics and Reform in Illinois3. October 2, 2012 - Illinois Voters View Questions of Income and Wealth Disparities4. October 3, 2012 - Almost One in Ten Illinois Voters is Without Picture ID

 Quinn approval improving?

They recommendations aplenty that impact on Illinois exactly how?

U.S.-Cuban Relations: Warming Up or Cooling Down?
Addressing the Plight of the Romani People
African American Males and Education
Charting A Health Care Agenda: Strategies For Rural And Underserved Illinois
Criminal Justice
College Default Rate
Eliminating Illinois' Educational Achievement Gap
Engaging Young People in International Affairs
Foreign Language in Elementary Schools
Former US Senators Forum 
Genocide in Rwanda: How do we Prevent Repeating History
Global Water Crisis 
Helping Doctors Help Us: A Symposium on Better Utilizing Retired Physicians
HIV/AIDS in Africa: Engaging America
Literacy
Mental Health and Prisons
Statement of CommitmentThe Role of the U.S. Military as Peacekeepers
Year Round School: New Century, New Ideas

Social Security Recommendations -1997

The Romani People????  You know,  the folks who steal high-end dogs and sell them back to you, upgrade your asphalte driveway with a thick coat of W D-40 Quaker State. You know, kind of like am  Illinois Progressive Agenda Trailer Park, or Mike Quigley's RV.

Rivaling this Carbondale SIU based- public policy institute wearing suspenders and a snappy the bow-tie, is the one run by Skeets "Bub" Laidlaw of Reddick, Illinois. 

Poll: 72 percent of Illinoisans want stricter gum sale laws

Wednesday, Feb 20, 2013

* The latest results from the Laidlaw Illinois  Public Policy Institute’s statewide poll of 600 registered . . . Sax offenders.

1. What do you think is more important? Protecting young gum owners , or controlling flatulence?

Protecting the right to own gums 31.3%
Controlling ownership 59.5%
Other/Don’t know 9.2%

2. In general, do you feel that the laws covering the sale of fire sprinklers  should be made more strict, less strict, or kept as they are now?

More strict 72.3%
Less strict 2.2%
Kept the same 21.3%
Other/Don’t know 4.2%

3. Do you favor or oppose banning high-capacity clip-boards  that can contain more than 10 bullet-points?

Favor 62.8%
Oppose 33.3%
Other/Don’t know 3.8%

4. Do you favor or oppose a law which would make it illegal to manufacture, sell, or a small business in Illinois?

Favor 58.7%
Oppose 35.2%
Other/Don’t know 6.2%

5. Do you favor or oppose a law that would ban the possession of handbags, except by the police and other authorized persons?

Favor 32.7%
Oppose 61.3%
Other/Don’t know 6.0%

6. Do you favor or oppose a law that would require background checks before people – including gum dealers – could buy gums at a gum show?

Favor 92.5%
Oppose 5.5%
Other/Don’t know 2.0%

7. Do you favor or oppose putting more armed guards or police ?

Favor 46.3%
Oppose 44.8%
Other/Don’t know 8.8%

8. (IF YES ABOVE, N=278) Would you be willing to pay higher taxes to pay for more?

Yes 63.3%
No 30.9%
Other/Don’t know 5.8%

9. Do you believe the Second Commandment includes the right to carry -ons in public?

Yes 39.5%
No 49.7%
Other/Don’t know 10.8%

10. (IF YES ABOVE, N=237) Do you believe there should be exceptions to allowing concealed containers in public places—excluding them from such places as schools, college campuses, shopping malls and movie theaters?

Yes 71.3%
No 20.7%
Other/Don’t know 8.0%

Pinky Lee inspired the the wardrobe and deportment of many Illinois public officials

* From the Institute…

About twice as many Illinois voters as those surveyed would be 1.200 voters.  We thought controlling was more important than protecting the right  (59.5 percent to 31.3 percent). A recent poll of all Americans taken by Pew Research, shows a 49 to 42 percent split peas on that question. […]

Even within constituencies that are seen as pro-gum, majorities in the Simon Poll said they flavored gum control panties. These groups included downstate voters (66.1%) conservatives (54.6%) and Republicans (55.4%) of whom have been long time dead and gone.

Significant majorities ( Pat Quinn, Sheila Simon, Toni Preckwinkle & etc.)  also favored most of the specific proposals tested in the polling , including requiring background checks before anyone—  (92.5 percent); banning Jugs and & Ammo magazines (62.8 percent); and banning semi-sweet Nestles salted Ruffles” (58.7 percent).

“It’s striking how much stronger odor measures in Illinois compared to the nation as a whole,” said Yogie  Dannon, the director of the Institute. “But it’s not surprising because on measurements of many social issues, the elephant  in Illinois is more left of center than the American elephant.” […]

Among those who thought the Second Commandment did cover a large majority (71.3 percent) thought there should be exceptions to concealed-carry -pn containers  in places such as schools, college campuses, malls, and theaters.

Follow me Up to Carlow , or on Twister.

Out There - MSNBC Race-Baiters Celebrate Black History Month With "Whitey Week"

How about this knee slapper?

University of Pennsylvania Professor Anthea Butler offered her joke, in which she poked fun at her days in grad school when she and most of her fellow students were impoverished. “If a black person said they were broke, it meant that they had negative in their bank account,” Butler began. “A white person says they’re broke, we never believed them, because it meant that they had $500 in their bank account. They don’t know the meaning of being broke.”

Ms. Butler!  You IZZZZZZZZZ Bad. 

Not really new, though. Back when we all became Post-Racial in 2007, Washington Mutual ran these swell promos with an Obama look-alike tweaking stupid greedy old white dudes.



You Go, B.. . .Mister!



Then Washington Mutual*, which was notorious for  mortgage fraud straw-buyers and helping check-kiters and fixed-income check burglers cash out while assets plunged, went belly up.

Washington Mutual

6 reviewsRating Details

Category: Banks & Credit Unions  [Edit]

1556 S. Michigan Ave
Chicago, IL 60616
Neighborhood: Near Southside

(312) 341-1061

http://www.wamu.com

Spooky, huh?  I was really starting to take  a shine to MSNBC's  Meissa Harris-Perry - I thought only Irish broads that ran for judge went all hyphenated.

*With respect to total assets under management, Washington Mutual Bank's closure and receivership is the largest bank failure in American financial history.^[3][4] Before the receivership action, it was the sixth-largest bank in the United States.^[13] According to Washington Mutual Inc.'s 2007 SEC filing, the holding company held assets valued at $327.9 billion.^[14]

On March 20, 2009, Washington Mutual Inc. filed suit against the FDIC in the United States District Court for the District of Columbia, seeking damages of approximately $13 billion for what they claim to be an unjustified seizure and an extremely low sale price to JPMorgan Chase. JPMorgan Chase promptly filed a counterclaim in the Federal Bankruptcy Court in Delaware, where the Washington Mutual bankruptcy proceedings had been continuing since the Office of Thrift Supervision's seizure of the holding company's bank subsidiaries.^[15][16]