Beef, Or You Die; Try This! Guinness Braised Beef Ribs

There's a Little Nip in the Air!  No, it's not Pearl Harbor Day.  'Tis Fall.  The leaves are past their ruby/amber seasonal majesty and are browning up nicely for their annual trip into my gutters.  The Illinois Football Playoffs begin and the IHSA *comes up with new and ever silly ways to make competitive sports as unappealing as an Andy Shaw witch hunt.

It is time for me to unbox the reliable and multi-caloried utensil for the Autumn and Winter seasons and seasoning - The Hamilton Beach Slow-Cooker.   My kids grew up on comfort food stirred in pot by old Dad on the stove-top, or the Slow-Cooker:  Chop Suey ala George's from 79th & Ashland, Klondike Chili aped from the recipe of late-great Charlie Orr, who brought Cajun Cooking to the south side via the Maple Tree Inn, Granny Hickey's SlumGullion, Kapust, St. George Illinois Smoked Boudin and Andouille Cassoulet with white beans, Lanacshire Hot Pots, Irish Stews & stuff I just threw together with broth,bacon, noodles and vegetables. The kids' favorite skillet offering was and remains SOS - creamed chipped beef on toast..

I now cook for one - my son of whom I am well pleased and who eats like he's going to the chair.

I plan to braise beef ribs in Guinness over a score and change of hours.  I will arise, at some point, an go . . .go to County Fair Foods on Western Avenue and nine bean rows will I pass and arrive at the meat counter.

I shall order beef ribs.  While the guy who took over when Mike retired cuts and trims my Moosickles,  I venture over to the vegetable section and grab some leeks, celery, spuds ( baby reds), carrots, green onions and parsley.

I have a spice shaker filled with Hickey Mix - Cumin, Coriander, black pepper, paprika and curry powder, onion and garlic salts.  I'll empty about four tablespoons of the stuff into a bowl and add 1/4 cup of brown sugar and dash or six of Kikoman Teriyaki Sauce.

I'll go over toCounty Fair's new beer section and grab a four pack of the big Guinness cans and six pack of Bud Lite for Conor. How, he can drink that swill plumb evades me.  A bad can of Burgie was better than that equine medical specimen.  I will also purchase a large can (16oz.) of whole tomatoes. 

In my big black cast iron skillet, I'll make a dark roue and spoon onto wax paper and when cool wrap it up..  Then, I'll  set the roue in a dish and stick it in the icebox, 'cuz I won't need it for a day or so. After cleaning the skillet with a paper towel, returning it to low heat on the stove I'll brown the bones on the three sides what's got meat.

Set them aside, when brown and then throw in the vegetables -all but the spuds let them soak up beef.  Now, I'll marinade the beef ribs in Guinness ( two big Cans garlic cloves, and black pepper corns over night and into the next day.  A good 20 hours.  Remove the ribs and toss the marinade.

Out comes the Hamilton Beach and after the porcelain innards gets a good cleaning and returned to the tin frame, I'll set t on slow. . .as slow as an Oberlin Summa Cum Laude.

In go Guinness marinaded cow slats, which shall cook for a minimum of four hours covered in Guinness from the remaining two cans and then stir in the above mentioned Hickey Mix & Brown sugar, a can of whole tomatoes, some sliced garlic gloves and some pepper corns.  Then - now here comes the hard part - Stir all carefully. Put the glass lid on and step away from the pot.

After four hours and change,  I'll add the browned vegetables and stick the baby red spuds in a pot of ice cold water. Cook three more hours and stir in the roue.  If it is night time turn off the slow Cooker and stick the porcelain pot in the ice box. If not cook for another two hours or so

Then, it gets close to eatin' time.  I plan to make the Australian spuds.  You half-mash the red taters on a baking sheet, sprinkle them with olive oil, salt and pepper and bake like cookies in 450 Degree oven for twenty minutes.  Those are base for the marinaded ribs, if there be any meat left on the bone that is. Sprinkle with chopped parsley.  Guinness Is maith agat agus Guinness dhéanann oidis mór níos mó.

Eat until you perspire.  Make your son do the dishes . . .as if.

* The IHSA is considering proposals from certain schools ( losers) requiring that all schools qualify for the playoffs.  WE ARE ALL WINNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Jesus.

Tales of South Side:Doc Brosnan and La Femme Rousse Artificielle

 Doc Brosnan has had a practice in Morgan Park for thirty years and he has seen everything from infantile croup to gerbils in the wrongest of bodily cavities.  He is a sharp-eyed diagnostician as well as keen general practitioner and surgeon.

Doc Brosnan serves on the staff of Little Company of Mary and consulted elsewhere. Let's drop back for this one.

One bright May morning at his office on Western Avenue across from County Far foods, he was stunned to find an absolutely stunning red-headed young woman of generous proportions waiting for him fully clothed and perched on the parchment paper covered examining bench.  She was new to his practice and Doc Brosnan carefully examined the chart containing her medical history, before engaging this Titian haired beauty.

" Ms. Soames, I am Doctor Teddy Brosnan.  Your medical history indicates that you are quite healthy; however, your statement here says that you experience excruciatingly shape pains in every part of your body," read and observed the canny sawbones.

" Doctor, I am in pain in every part of my body.  Please help, me."

In this litigious and sordid society, even a dutiful son of Asclepius is endangered.

The veteran practitioner and Catholic gentleman-to-the-backbone Doc Brosnan asked the young ginger goddess to demonstrate for him the points of pain.

The Sanguine Siren extended her long alabaster forefinger and poked her left breast emitting an anguished cry.  She then touched her elbow follwoed by sharp yelp.  The Foxy tressed babe's digit stabbed her cheekbone only to broadcast more physical pain - genuine and plaintiff, "See? Please, help me, Doctor!"

Dr. Teddy Brosnan nodded an informed estimation of the suffering beauty and remarked, " You are not a genuine redhead my dear woman."

The astonished Vamp asked, " How did you know?"

The kindly practitioner smiled and offered, " I am a man of medicine and a man of the world, my dear woman. Not only are you not a redhead, but you are a blond."

Again the bogus Scarlet Lorelei quizzed, " How did you know?"

Dr. Teddy Brosnan replied, You have broken index finger,"

NATO - Experience Chicago's Neighborhood People Eddie Carrol Suggests

I met Eddie Carroll, the Morgan Park neighborhood Philosopher, Gad-about Swain and Roofer to the Stars in the very long lines at County Fair Foods at 108th & Western.  The after-Mass crowds of shoppers from Sts. Barnabas, Cajetan, John Fisher (east of California) and Walter parishes were especially active this Sunday.

Mr. Carroll is best known as the CEO of Carroll Roofing - the haberdasher to our homes. Eddie is to roofs as Optimo is to fine head wear.  Mr. Carroll is a committed bachelor often beset by toothsome young women intent upon his sole attentions. Alas, Eddie Carroll is cosmopolitan universalist with regard to affections - courtly though cavalier and considerate without constancy.


 I asked Eddie about the upcoming NATO Summit and what Chicago could do to welcome the salt-water Belgians, Brits, Spaniards Germans and Gauls.

Eddie said that Chicago has the most beautiful skyline, because of our lakefront and the imagination of the sons of Burnham, a world class playground for tourists complete with Beans and fountains old and new.
He grew more thoughtful than usual and soon decanted his latest vintage  of thought on this matter.

" Pat, this is one great town for kids, sport, art, literature, music and stand-up comedy.  I hope that our European guests will avail themselves of the first class wits and humorists featured at Chicago's fine light entertainment venues - Second City, Zanies, of course.  But they might also take in the laughs at blue-collar neighborhood taverns and saloons - Stash's Dot U Again?, Lou's Change, Bar Nun, the Flags, Fluke's Wrong Wit U? out here and  away from the dry Urban Center.  Here is some of the side-splitting drollery that our guests might hear here* from the likes of any one of the comic genius gents coming out of the head after leaving a bucket o' beer for the Water Reclamation District.  A McKinley Park MadCap, or Canaryville Cut-up, or Hegwisch Humorist  with a shirt-tail pecker protruding zipper high to play Panatloon- we are an earthy lot given to free expression and damn the outcomes and costs. I heard ourt own local wags offer these droll insights - exemplum gratia . . .


 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats so they have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.


Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It is not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." Two higher levels remain: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Lastly, the Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish Navy can get a really good look at the Old Spanish Navy.

Pat, I sure hope that our NATO guests and all of the foreign and domestic journalists, Wobblies, Reds, Anarchists, Occupiers, Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, Noam Chomsky, and other humorlessly worn-out folks get a chance to bump into real Chicagoans and get the full favor of this our City of Neighborhoods. We are a droll folk."

I thanked Eddie for the wholesome and thoughtfully pleasant use of  time in the line. Eddie stacked his selections onto Donna's check out converyer belt - organic vegetables, brown rice, Fava beans, soy curds, plain Greek yogurts, Perrier, and a 16 oz. bottle of Pepto Bismal marked down to $ 2.75.  Eddie remarked, "That is value, Patrick. That is value.  I see you have a basket full of empty calories, salty and sugary snacks, canned soup - Progresso naturally, Flamin Hotz, and Slim Jims. Looks like a five dollar Billy Buck's ( equal or exceeeding $ 100 in goods) day for the Hickey Household. Yet, no Pepto Bismal. No Pepto Bismal.  Think of that."

With that signal blessing we parted.




http://www.chicagonato.org/what-is-nato--pages-188.php

http://www.jokes.com/stand-up-search/jokes/?keywords=nato
http://www.countyfairfoods.net/

Wrong -On So Many Levels - My Life as Me.

Each day provides its own gifts. Marcus Aurelius


Trader Joe's is nice. There is one in Oak Park on Harlem just a bit north of Lake Street. This is an exoctic country for me.

On Saturday, the woman I love needed to return to Trader Joe's as she had been charged twice for a pound of coffee. As a member of the superior gender this chic, lovely and thrifty woman kept hold of the receipt; something this impulse shopping Pater Familias fails to do. I have a cabinet full of unused Billy Bucks in $1 and $5 dollar denominations, because I invariably forget to bring those cost-cutters along with me on my many trips to pick up items needed and the cart load of "Ooooooo,Eddy's Lime Bars, Pan Color Pepper Crushers, Exotically Flavored Triscuits, and cheeses of Iceland." One day, I shall break the bank of the Baffes Family - eight legs of lamb, a week of porterhouses, Oberweiss Milk, and a gallon of designer olive oil.

Miss S, who is a frequent subject of my musings, but demands in no uncertain threats to leave her name out of my present and future pages, actually consults the receipt upon return from shopping and conducts a complete and thorough audit of purchases.

Saturday, she assessed Trader Joe's for the twice-priced coffee and while she presented the receipt to managers all and sundry, I parked the car in Mega-level lot and went up to Lake Street. I bought a hideously wonderful stuffed toy for my two-year old pal Emmett and met Miss S back at Joe's.



We returned to my car and pulled out on Harlem and headed north one block turned right and I told Miss S. about my purchase, " Emmett is gonna love it. It is a butt-ugly rag doll of some kind of monster . . ."

Miss S. Was delighted, "Where is it?"

"Jesus Chri. . ."

"Please."

"Sorry."

" Did you place it on the trunk, like you did with that wine we supposed to bring to Steve and Susan's last week? That went crashing onto the pavement, requiring another purchase? DO NOT swear or utter another mot juste from your arsenal of obscenities, please. And do calm yourself; it is not the end of the world."

"Close though."

Cowed and craven, I obeyed this tiny woman and the Illinois traffic dictates of sense and sensibility and right turned my way back to the chock-filled parking venue available at Trader Joe's."

First level - nothing.

"Did you park on this . . .?"

Second Level - ditto slowly pacing each parking spot and scanning with a hunter's eye for the plastic vanity bag with the Monster Doll.

Third Level

"Why did you not just place the bag in the front here with you?

Second Level Redux - I got out and belly-crawled under a few SUVs and Volvos. Nope.

Level One Yet Again!

Miss S. remained dignified and silent, fully cognisant of the boiling over of the once cheery good will and avuncular intent to make a child's day now a roiling pot of male peccadillo's souped up and ladled out. Remember, J.M. Barrie never created the Island of Lost Girls. I do. . . well, sometimes.

Details are made to be attended.

With the resignation and realization that fifty-nine years of such events as this, I determined to give the field to my folly this day and return better suited to the mortal combat involved in buying a two year old a surprise.

" I'll grab one of them monsters later in the week."

" That's nice."

Everything that exists is in a manner the seed of that which will be.
Marcus Aurelius

Morgan Park Heroes of Kyle's Generations Barbecue Sauce

Four young guys from my neighborhood are heroes of the American Way. The quartet who gave our neighborhood Kyle's Generations Barbecue Sauce left private Morgan Park Academy, went on to higher education, but, instead of guzzling gallons of malted grain beverages in their spare time, formed a small business.

Kyle Earman – President of Kyle’s Grill Inc.

Bobby Churchill – Vice President and Head of Research and Development Department

Jeremy Madsen – Head of the Technology Department

Nolan Bielinski – Head of the Sales Department T

I met Kyle a few months back at County Fair Foods at 10800 S. Western, where Bill and Tom Baffes had provided the gents with a booth to hawk their product.

I have been a dedicated Agia B's Mumbo Sauce Man ever since 1969, when the late Thomas Foy (Leo '70) brought a case of Mumbo to a 'picnic' at Dan Ryan Woods. I'd eat a pair of Eddie Carroll's old Tighty Whities were they properly washed and then slathered in Mumbo. On that day, in County Fair, Lyle offered his product, which is remarkably sweet . . .and offers an after kiss of delicate spiciness.

I now purchase both fine Chicago based products - Mumbo to satisfy my John D'Conqueroo Self and Kyle's when whimsy overtakes me. I find Kyle's Generations most suitable for my Morgan Pork Masterpiece Sandwich.

Thus -

Two lightly toasted slices of Nature's Pride Oatmeal Bread
One thin slice of Red Onion
One layer of mixed greens
Three thinly sliced shingles of cold roasted pork loin
1/2 ounce of Kyle's Generations Barbecue Sauce applied liberally to both slices of bread.

You can purchase Kyle's Generations at these fine stores -

Available At:
County Fair Foods Randy's Market
10800 S Western Avenue 14250 South Ravinia Avenue
Chicago, IL 60643 Orland Park, IL 60462


Freshline Foods Bizios Fresh Market
5355 West 95th Street 3446 Vollmer Road
Oak Lawn, IL 60453 Olympia Fields, IL 60461


Cooper's Hawk Winery & Restaurant Oak Lawn Farmer’s Market* (Weds 7 am – 1 pm)
15690 South Harlem Avenue 9446 Raymond Avenue
Orland Park, IL 60462 Oak Lawn, IL 60453

The O'Connell Sisters

The three O'Connell sisters took home their fried fish from DiCola's ( no meat this Lent for these ladies) and I overheard this exchange near the parking lot of County Fair ( 10800 S. Western Ave.):

Mary Elizabeth says, "Whew, it is sure windy today."

Molly replies, "No, no. Today is Thursday."

Colleen says, "So am I. Let's find a bar!

Doreen's Frozen Gourmet Pizza - Herakleophorbia

I am a devout Catholic and an empiricist -in most things beyond metaphysics. I am not a devotee of Vito and Nick's, Fox's, Milano's, Roseangela's and Barraco's pizza because I am a south side parochialist, but because I ate pizza from Buddy's Pizza at 79th & Paulina as well as Caruso's on Ashland.

I was blessedly schooled in fine pizza, as a kid from Bordeaux, or Napa might say that he had sampled some Okay wine. I grew up in Pizza Utopia. Palermo's on 63rd! Falco's on Archer! Oh, Happy Land! Someone exclaims, " We're having pizza!!" and a south sider's mind races - "'Kay -don' panic. Be nice. Don' get your hopes up. It might be OK but expect Red Baron or Saltines with Brooks Ketchup on 'em. You're in Indiana for Crissakes. Calm down."

Doreen's in the heart of Calumet City and Hegewisch!

Doreen’s Gourmet Frozen Pizza Outlet Store located at:
130 State Street
Calumet, City, Illinois 60409
Phone: (708) 862-7499

Doreen's
13201 South Baltimore Avenue
Chicago, Illinois 60633
Phone: (773) 646-0063

Later, while studying at Loyola University -north of Madison Avenue - I experienced Pizzeria Uno & Due and My Pi ( Greek Logo) - nice. Lou Malnati's ? If it's in front of me. Home Run Inn? Ditto.

I lived in Indiana from 1988-1998 - Pizza desert.

The south side of Chicago, Blue Island, Calumet Park, Calumet City and Chicago Heights were blessed by Italian immigrants who know how to toss pizza - thin to win and thick for the Micks. Mrs. Panatera made a gravy ( red tomato sauce) that if it were ladled over my son Conor's old New Balance mud dancers I'd devour that footwear.

I developed my gustatory tastes and sensibilities along with my passion for literature.

Last week, while shopping at County Fair Foods* for my three kids who eat like they're going to the Chair, I discovered Doreen's Gournet Frozen Pizza. Most frozen pizza's taste like the boxes that contain them; however, Doreen's Pizza ( jalapeno pepper) lifted me to Jove's Beard and Juno's Knockers! I recalled this passage from H. G. Wells!

Quite ordinary persons you perceive, both of them, outside their science. Or if anything on the unpractical side of ordinary. And that you will find is the case with “scientists” as a class all the world over. What there is great of them is an annoyance to their fellow scientists and a mystery to the general public, and what is not is evident.
There is no doubt about what is not great, no race of men have such obvious littlenesses. They live in a narrow world so far as their human intercourse goes; their researches involve infinite attention and an almost monastic seclusion; and what is left over is not very much. To witness some queer, shy, misshapen, greyheaded, self-important, little discoverer of great discoveries, ridiculously adorned with the wide ribbon of some order of chivalry and holding a reception of his fellow-men, or to read the anguish of Nature at the “neglect of science” when the angel of the birthday honours passes the Royal Society by, or to listen to one indefatigable lichenologist commenting on the work of another indefatigable lichenologist, such things force one to realise the unfaltering littleness of men.
And withal the reef of Science that these little “scientists” built and are yet building is so wonderful, so portentous, so full of mysterious half-shapen promises for the mighty future of man! They do not seem to realise the things they are doing! No doubt long ago even Mr. Bensington, when he chose this calling, when he consecrated his life to the alkaloids and their kindred compounds, had some inkling of the vision,—more than an inkling. Without some such inspiration, for such glories and positions only as a “scientist” may expect, what young man would have given his life to such work, as young men do? No, they must have seen the glory, they must have had the vision, but so near that it has blinded them. The splendour has blinded them, mercifully, so that for the rest of their lives they can hold the lights of knowledge in comfort—that we may see!

H. G. Wells - The Food of the Gods Chapter I, part 1.

Yes! That We may see and later eat it!

True genius you shall know by this sign!

Doreen’s Pizza, Inc. originated in 1986 on the south side of Chicago as a small take-out and delivery pizzeria with only one table in the dining area to accommodate customers who needed a quick bite to eat.

Being praised as the best pizza in the area, owner Bob Wisz decided to take this pizza perfection to the masses -- and began selling his pizzas frozen to local bars. Word quickly spread and people all over the area raved about his product and asked for it to be sold near them. Bob quickly expanded and started selling his soon-to-be famous pizza in many different types of businesses catering to a variety of age levels. Today, Doreen’s Gourmet Pizza is hand-made in our manufacturing facility in Calumet City, Illinois. To provide our customers with nothing but the perfect pizza, our facility makes only pizza – not burritos and not chicken pies.

We use only FRESH ingredients, including the vegetables, the sausage and the 100% real cheese that tops it all off! We go the extra mile to ensure our pizza is fresh when it comes out of your oven – and tastes just like it -- just like the moment it was made fresh and frozen in our facility.

All of our pizzas are fresh frozen and never precooked. This allows the blending of each ingredient and its unique flavor to combine uniformly to create that special Doreen’s taste! And our pizzas are packed with toppings for your eating pleasure! In fact, our Deluxe Pizza weighs nearly TWO POUNDS!
You can avail yourself of Doreen's Gourmet Frozen Pizza at these sensible and classy locations!

ILLINOIS -

Baltimore Foods - Hegewisch

Berkot's Super Foods - Dwight, Coal City, Braidwood, Watseka, New Lenox, Manteno, Mokena, Manhattan, Wilmington, South Wilmington

Bizios Fresh Market - Olympia Fields

Brookhaven - Mokena, Burr Ridge, Darien

Casey's Market - Western Springs

County Fair - 108th & Western - Chicago

Country Squire - Chicago Heights

Fairshare - Midway Airport - Chicago, Roosevelt Rd. - Chicago

Fairway - Lockport, Sauk Village, Dolton, Riverdale-144th & Indiana

Green Leaf Foods - Michigan Ave. - Chicago

Lincoln Park Market - Chicago, IL

Lupita’s - Calumet City

Misch Bros. - Calumet City

Pete’s Market - All locations

Potash Bros. - Chicago, IL

Presidential Market - Presidential Towers Chicago

Quality Supermarket - Watseka

Randy’s Market - Orland Park

Sentry Foods - Midlothian, IL

Strack & Van Til - Chicago - Elston Ave., Plainfield

Sunset Foods - Libertyville, Lake Forest, Highland Park, Northbrook

Tony's Finer Foods - Chicago (on Belmont, Central, Elston, Fullerton), Melrose Park, Bridgeview and North Riverside

Trudy's Pantry - Lansing

Ultra Foods - Hanover Park, Calumet Park, Chicago - 87th & Kedzie, Chicago Heights, Downers Grove, Forest Park, Joliet, Kankakee, Lansing, Lombard and Wheaton

Village Farmstand - Calumet City

WALT’S - Beecher, Crete, Frankfort, Homewood, South Holland and Tinley Park

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Doreen's Outlet Store

Visit our Doreen’s Gourmet Frozen Pizza Outlet Store located at:

130 State Street
Calumet, City, Illinois 60409
Phone: (708) 862-7499

Click here to view products available at our Outlet Store!




Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
9:30 - 4:30 9:30 - 4:30 9:30 - 4:30 9:30 - 4:30 9:30 - 4:30 Closed Closed
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Doreen's Pizzeria Restaurants

Don’t forget to visit Doreen’s Pizzeria, featuring our delicious namesake pizza. Two convenient locations in the Chicagoland area to serve you.

Dyer Restaurant
726 Joliet Road (US 30)
Dyer, Indiana 46311
Phone: (219) 865-9988



Chicago Restaurant
13201 South Baltimore Avenue
Chicago, Illinois 60633
Phone: (773) 646-0063






Do, click my post title.

* County Fair Foods
www.countyfairfoods.net
10800 South Western Avenue
Chicago, IL 60643-3226
(773) 238-5576