Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Homeboy Bruce Dold Wants President 45 and His Whole Fam-Damily Right Where Bruce Can Find Him!

Image result for Bruce Dold with obama
Urban League CEO James Compton, former Tribune Editor Gerould Kern and Trib editor Bruce Dold, former Governor Pat Quinn and Mayor Rahm Emanuel in simpler times.

"Our advice to the Trumps is to move, sooner rather than later, and avoid returning home often. That approach would greatly ease the trouble in Manhattan, simplify the task of protecting the family, minimize costs for the federal government and New York City, and reassure the public that Trump will give the presidency his full attention." Bruce Dold et al

The Editorial genius of that great metropolitan newspaper, the one that endorsed Governor Hemp of Allepo, wants President-elect Donald Trump and Melania and the kid right where Bruce Dold can find them.

The Chicago Tribune did not want Francis Cardinal George to live in the Archbishop's Residence, bought and paid for by Chicago Catholics.  Cardinal George wanted to sell the place in 2002, by was over-ruled by his flock and the Tribune and the rest of the supine Chicago media cat-called his home until the man went to Heaven.  How many times did Manya " The Seeker" Brachear pooh-poo its opulence while poor black girls like Dorothy Brown had to struggle until the caged bird sang?  Lots.

The White House is different.  It is a dump to a man like Trump.  If Bruce Dold took a call from gilded Trump Tower, NYC, how in the name of Sweet Fanny Adams would he report such a missive?

You see things get confusing . If Trump is staying in Manhattan, how in the name of Sweet Fanny Adams will The Chicago Tribune report any executive pronouncements with its iron-clad accuracy - like Dewey Wins!

Bruce Dold is a simple man who likes his politics served up steaming, warm and plentiful and placed right in front of him by Rahm Emanuel, Forrest Claypool, Dick Durbin, Pat Quinn, Cardinal Cupich, Rev. Jackson, Pastor Pfleger, Toni Preckwinkle and Mr, & Mrs. Bob Creamer.

Keep things simple. Bruce is simple.  Rahm says something and the Dold abides.  Keep the narrative.

Prose often is required to apply rhetorical devices to keep readers from falling asleep on the Red Line, or finding another news source. Rhetorical devices are keen ways of expressing the obvious - if Mitt Romney says that Vladimir Putin is a dangerous man.  A really funny guy might say, " The 80's are calling and want their foreign policy back." That is so cool and he's a community organizer!

So, newspaper guys like Bruce Dold need to use things like metonymy and synechdoche.

Metonymy is figure of speech (rhetorical device) in which one word or phrase is substituted for another with which it is closely associated, like Hollywood, the Pentagon and the White House.

Metonymy's sister device is Synechdoche, or using a part of something to represent the whole, as in " All Hands on Deck,!"  Bruce would not see a bunch of hands flopping from keel to forecastle via ladders and passageways, or perhaps he might given his endorsement of Gary Johnson.

Keeping the Trump family in the White House makes things easy for Bruce, Mary Schmich and Eric Zorn.

The White House called, Bruce Dold!

Just kidding.

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