'What we have here . . .is failure to communicate.'
I get about five calls a week that go something like this. Tear ass to phone -not exactly a threat to 200 meter record, mind you, I pick up the phone
ME: Hello. (long pause ) Hello!?!?! (pause) It's your dime - start talking
Caller: EES PAHTREEK Dere. PAHTREEK ? (Bollywood Spy Theme music in background)
Me:No one ever good news-ed me with Patrick , but yes . . .
Caller:PAHTREEK - DESE EES BRY UHN FREM MAHJESTIC SIDING EN OCH - LOAN EEL-ENOY . . .
Me: No Sale, Bub! Brickhouse - Like Jack. Vale te, Bryo!(click)
When worlds collide through Out-sourced labor! Hire American Telemarketers!
What the hell, Bryan's an earner. Back to communications - this is reading like a Noam Chomsky dinner order.
Patriot, Scrimshander, American Flag votary, grubstaker, dedicated turn-signal practitioner, fiery dualist, and venture capitalist, Mr. Frank Nofsinger of Connecticut sent along the multicultual epiphany posted below:
We have all been here . . .
Or maybe you haven't called tech support recently?
By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS...
In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following
conversation until you are able to understand the term
With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in with the growing trend!!!
Now, here goes...
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and
Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: " Rye Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
G: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
RS: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry... scrambled, please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I... don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn
RS: "Toes! Toes!..Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we
G: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No, just put the bodder on the side."
G: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side."
G: "Excuse me?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy... rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
G: "You're welcome."