'Prudence, that might just be one of the gang the New Working Man's Friend ( I refuse to say Pal . . .) Chicago Sun Times reported on this morning - here I clipped the article along with the wonderful coupons that I send Lupe to Costco with: Finally real news, Pru! News that Matters to People who matter. Let me read it to you:
A woman working for a Chicago dog-walking service has been charged with multiple counts of theft, after clients of the business complained about property missing from their homes.
Jillian Robertson, 21, of the 6100 block of North Winthrop, was arrested Saturday, police said. She has an Oct. 2 court date, police said Sunday.
Robertson is charged with five counts of misdemeanor theft.
'Mercy me, Patience, these criminals should all be strangled by fine men from good lineages - like that lovely Michael Skakel. I noticed two or three such handsome brutes at 1st Presbyterian last month - Summer is too much for Services, Really! The Brutal Police have too much Latitude and shoot guns - I detest Gun Violence! - for mercy sakes, at Our Coloreds! Patience, I still send checks to Operation PUSH so that Our Coloreds can live where they'll be most happy - and belong - in their wonderful ghettos - let's take a Ghetto Tour! Let's do! - or pushing out the bumpish Slavs, the Mafia and those racist and close knit Irish pigs.'
'Prudence dear, your skirt is tucked into your panty hose again - here I'll straighten - Six Cosmopolitans at the Drake before lunch just might be too much but there is no alcoholism in our veins we just get girly -- there! Good enough to board Conrad's Concord . . . This was such a nice Gold Coast to have Dickie and Marbank and Priapus walked, but I do not trust those illegals we hire - except Lupe - because doncha know - because my nephew, Cuthbert, Merchant and Felatia's oldest - Choate, Yale ad MBA at Chicago - has twenty of Lupe's cousins living in a barracks out in Lake Zurich on that lovey Nursery, Arboretum and Equestrian Academy that he purchased from the Jaynes Family - one cross look and INS sweeps in! Lovely manners those men, the Jaynes' and they all saddled so well!'
'Thank you dear, Patience. Imagine; a girl with a name like ours - and not a West Indian either! Must be some insanity in her family - don't we all. At least the Sun Times is looking out for our interests again, not since Dick Simpson did our bidding here and ran against that monster-Slav Rostenkowski, have I felt so comforted again.'
"Prudence. A good strangle would help teach these young things a valuable lesson about a Person's possessions! I understand that the best people in Seattle have their own Garrotiers to give lesssons and scare the help!'
'Seattle is Progressive! Imagine a town full of yummy Flint Taylors, Locke Bowmans, and Jon Loevy's - almost NO Jews! It's comforting that we can tell the truth about the Jews, again! Zell buying the Tribune! Horrible Man! But that Reverand Sharpton is such a Tonic to the City! Patience. With fewer Jews, Seattle has all of the tone-ier shops. In Seattle, the help are mostly Asians and they tend to get surly - a minor drawback.'
'Are those three young men married or unattached?'
'All three???? Really Prudence!'