Tim Pireacht is the President of Caitlicigh do gach Duine Lánúnas (Catholics for @#$% All and Everyone)
“What makes you a Catholic,” Tim says, “is your Baptism.”
That said, Tim Pireacht arrived in Chicago to accept an award from the Progressive Pan Fetish/Onanist/ Puppy Love Political Action Committee (PFOPL). Tim's work in making Catholics aware that they need to do absolutely nothing once the good Father applies the salt, oil and water to little Fish eaters.
The Cork-born founder of Caitlicigh do gach Duine Lánúnas clarified, " You can eat the knickers off a Sultan's missus, wear a titled kilt and an Indian Headress to Bar Mitzva and be a Catholic. You can drink yourself paralytic, whore about, play the villain, mooch, abort the babies, spread the crabs, roger yer man's old woman and her kids, hump the chihuahua, bugger the meter reader, vote for Obama, snatch the money out of young Tadgh's 1st communion cards, order a pork chop at Salaam, blackguard the curate, use Granny's I-Pass, jump the turn-stile and sleep with a Yak, because you have been baptized!"
The celebrated gobshite, lay-about and academic set the historical context. " I mean Archbishop Buzz Kill, or What? Nay, to naught I say! Bishops, and them collared lads, cause more problems than a Mot's dose. Stay NEUTRAL! Ireland avoided all the Blitz and Feck All because DEV said - stay neutral. Follow the Pope and be Thomas More with no noggin, or Larry O'Toole on the Brit Griddle. Catholics Choose to Stay Neutral and let the other fellas hump the worries,' the artful Celt offered.
"So,'BELT UP, BLOODY WANKERS!' Religion, one's faith, should be as easy and as liberating as the old quick jig to the jakes after a great feed of colcannon and a gallon of Guinness," concluded this voice of Progressive Thought.
Tim Pireach took home his award, his honorarium, three sets of steak knives and three members if the cast of Chicago's cast of The Book of Mormon.
As election draws nigh, more such fine reportage will appear in Chicago's newspapers . . .fading like a Cheshire cats grin and Obama's Hope.