. . . With Both Hands: October 2012

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

White Rage & Segway Segue - Why I Disapprove of Whiney White Boys With Lawyers

I can't stand me some snotty white boys!

I have worked at Leo High School on the south side of Chicago since 1995 - not the south side where I live, mind you. I am an old white boy and live in the 19th Ward ( Morgan Park) which is mostly peopled by old white boys, their wives and their kids.

The young men who attend and graduate from Leo High School are mostly black, non-Catholic young gents. We have some white boys, but they are not of the garden variety upper middle class privileged background that spawns the white boy who gets on You Tube, arrested at G-8/NATO/GAY RIGHTS/St. Paddy's Day events and then has Pater's lawyers sue the bejazus out of everyone but the towel boy and Fore Caddy at Briarwood, Biltmore or Evanston Country Clubs.

The black,white and Mexican kids at Leo are working men's sons. Like my kids and the kids of cops, firemen, teachers, tradesmen and nurses, they respect the aging, the elderly, the Veterans, mothers, working men and themselves. Respect is learned. Disrespect is intolerable. Entitlement? As if.

Leo is a safe place in a very unsafe part of the city. I am here six days a week minimum. I have always been treated with dignity and respect here in one of Chicago's most homicidal neighborhoods by the students and the neighbors. Go figure. They hold it not against me that I am an old white boy!

It must be that our black kids from Englewood, Auburn Gresham, Grand Crossing and Brainard know that life is fraught with consequences - often fatal. White, privileged males who fought on Nintendo, lettered in Madden Football, liberally ignore gas, beer, rent prices and other such bothersome consequences have caused me some small discomfort.

I met one such young scapegrace very recently in Chicago's Loop. I was delivering materials downtown, when a lithe, rakishly disheveled, and tattooed son of Lake County when he rushed into me while talking, and or texting and vigorously thumbing into some high-end black palm buddy apparatus recently purchased at a Steve Jobs venue. Our contact upset his gait, his foaming latte and temper; this grey-beard was treated with a broken record of imprecation ( salty and salaciously hostile) and was greeted as the lad's "Bitch," once warned to watch it. So warned, Bub. This Bitch abides.

Now, I am as yellow as a duck's foot and have had my posterior lobes and other corporeal appendages kicked by the best of men and weakest of girl on any playground. Nevertheless, such bluster and bravado must not go unanswered. God gifted me, if not with the lusty and husky accoutrements of an Ajax, with a very crazy set of eyes covered in the bushiest of eye-brows and a Silly Putty Mug that morphs my moods. I stepped into the Jerque Du Jour with a verbal counterpoint similar to my age, culture and general bearing and the white boy's bowels turned to water. Beeeeee Otch, Sonny? Play that Funky Music, White, Boy!

The hectoring scamp exited the field with nothing more than his foamy brew and his pathetically fading impotent imperative sentences. I never had the chance to unsheathe my dolon.

A tear formed but refused to fall from my tired eyes as I considered how it must really suck to be that boy. America's youth. Sic Transit White Boy

Here is a fine example of exactly the species encountered

Segway Cop vs Skateboarder: The Reckoning - Watch More Funny Videos

A disquieting disquisition - It sucks to be you, Son. Now, here is a proper role model for you , young Feller!

Officer Ward - NATO & OWS Veteran -

First Amendment Rights Can Be Terminated - Watch More Funny Videos

Had the lad been formed in a family and neighbor centered embrace like here in Working Man Chicago, such life lessons would only be of consequence to career criminals, lawsuit lotto lawyers, mental defectives and members of Progressive Marching Societies

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Catholics for Doing What the @#$% You Feel Like Responds to the Catholic Bishops

Tim Pireacht is the President of Caitlicigh do gach Duine Lánúnas (Catholics for @#$% All and Everyone)

“What makes you a Catholic,” Tim says, “is your Baptism.”

That said, Tim Pireacht arrived in Chicago to accept an award from the Progressive Pan Fetish/Onanist/ Puppy Love Political Action Committee (PFOPL). Tim's work in making Catholics aware that they need to do absolutely nothing once the good Father applies the salt, oil and water to little Fish eaters.

The Cork-born founder of Caitlicigh do gach Duine Lánúnas clarified, " You can eat the knickers off a Sultan's missus, wear a titled kilt and an Indian Headress to Bar Mitzva and be a Catholic. You can drink yourself paralytic, whore about, play the villain, mooch, abort the babies, spread the crabs, roger yer man's old woman and her kids, hump the chihuahua, bugger the meter reader, vote for Obama, snatch the money out of young Tadgh's 1st communion cards, order a pork chop at Salaam, blackguard the curate, use Granny's I-Pass, jump the turn-stile and sleep with a Yak, because you have been baptized!"

The celebrated gobshite, lay-about and academic set the historical context. " I mean Archbishop Buzz Kill, or What? Nay, to naught I say! Bishops, and them collared lads, cause more problems than a Mot's dose. Stay NEUTRAL! Ireland avoided all the Blitz and Feck All because DEV said - stay neutral. Follow the Pope and be Thomas More with no noggin, or Larry O'Toole on the Brit Griddle. Catholics Choose to Stay Neutral and let the other fellas hump the worries,' the artful Celt offered.

"So,'BELT UP, BLOODY WANKERS!' Religion, one's faith, should be as easy and as liberating as the old quick jig to the jakes after a great feed of colcannon and a gallon of Guinness," concluded this voice of Progressive Thought.

Tim Pireach took home his award, his honorarium, three sets of steak knives and three members if the cast of Chicago's cast of The Book of Mormon.

As election draws nigh, more such fine reportage will appear in Chicago's newspapers . . .fading like a Cheshire cats grin and Obama's Hope.

Brian Egan -Christ's Good Man Goes Home

Jack, Nora, Pat, Bridget and Brian Egan of St. Cajetan's Parish

I met Brian Egan through St. Cajetan Parish and Kennedy Park activities. My son played St. Caj football with Jack Egan who was a year older than Conor and my youngest daughter remains very close with Nora with whom Clare went through Three of Seven Sacraments, Pre-K, T-Ball, Soccer, Softball, Basketball and the rigors of eight years of Catholic grammar school on the south side of Chicago. No easy task that. Brian Egan had their little backs.

All through those years, Brian Egan stood on the sidelines, in the stands and in the dugouts, knelt in the pew and supported not only his babies, but every youngster with his coaching skills which were formidable, his encouragement which was genuine and his love which was never turned off at anytime.

His beautiful daughter Bridget suffered with disease and Brian Egan had her shoulders locked in his grip. His lovely wife Pat had a guy who worshiped the sand, clay and blades of freshly cut Chicago Park District grass in and under her sandals. Brian Egan, like most south side guys I know, was life-long overwhelmed by the love of his girlfriend, bride and partner. Well we should.

Brian Egan was too tall a man to cast a shadow. I am heartbroken with his passing from our company but comforted that God has a great coach, neighbor and role model for His Saints. Brian Egan now makes a 'better place' a happier one.

Thanks for being there for all of us, Brian!

Brian J. Egan, age 58, born Into Eternal Life on Oct. 29, 2012, beloved husband of Pat (nee Spellacy) for 32 years; loving father of Bridget (Fiancé Matt Houze), Jack and Nora; dear brother of James (Catherine), Janet (Zeke) Loughrey, Terence (Debbie) Carol (Terry) Kayser and Maribeth (Bill) Foran; fond brother-in-law of Mary Jo (Ken) Brooks and Donna (Jim) Dalton; "Uncle Brian" was also dearly loved by many nieces and nephews and countless friends. Visitation Wednesday 2 to 9 p.m. at the Brady-Gill Funeral Home (Heeney-Laughlin Directors), 2929 W. 87th St., Evergreen Park. Family and friends will meet at St. Cajetan Church 112th St. and Artesian Ave. on Thursday morning for Mass of Christian Burial at 10 a.m. Interment Mount Olivet Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, donations to Were Back for Brian.org c/o Archer Bank, 3435 W. 111th St., Chicago, IL 60655 are most appreciated. 708-636-5500

Monday, October 29, 2012

Libya? Chicago Tribune Offers Nothing

Trib Editorial Board Offers Nothing . . . Once more . . .oodles of nothing.

Bengahzi? Nope. Libya? UhUh. Dead Ambassador? Zilch. Dead Heroes? Ditto. Questions for President Obama? Can't say.

One may expect news from a newspaper; but, then again, when a newspaper endorses four more years of nothing, nothing might seem like a real cool hand, from a practiced dispenser of nothing in the news.