Andy Martin is So Gay. The Beggar's Opera Falls Flatish

"Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals." Heavens! Sparks of Flint!- Hell, had I surrounded myself with homosexuals, I'd have a better diet, less robust a waistline, a snappier arsenal of witty bon mots, more a sense of fabric and design, a better lawn, a least some garden and a better ear for vocal jazz.


Boys and Girls, the following Ballad Opera fully explains why I am not nor can ever be a Republican ,yet one who can fully appreciate and reflect manfully on the life Corinthian! Gay shmay! Kirque, Gay or Straight, is, in my Helot's point of view, a thorough going fraud, jape, howler, sidesplitter, thigh-slapper, wow, belly laugh, riot, scream -and Andy ( add a list of nomenclatures and pronouns) a litigous gag line, punch line, tag line, laugh line,blue joke, blue story, dirty joke, dirty story teller and snitch.

Now, Ladies and JanTell Muhn! Our Opera!

Ditty one -"Can Love Be Controlled By Advice?" by John Gay

The Scene: We are in the home of Peachum ( Andy Martin), a supposedly respectable businessman who actually fences stolen goods for professional thieves. He and Mrs. Peachum (Intercahngeable as are the cloths they affect) have just discovered that their daughter Polly ( Rep. Marque Kirque) has secretly married the infamous highwayman Captain Macheath, who is not present. Nor is he ever. (Note the contemptuous way that Mrs. Peachum dismisses the nobility, saying that a "Lord" is no better a husband than a thief).

MRS. PEACHUM: Played by Andrew Elton Olivia Newton John Martin Les Paul and Mary Ford Dewey Cheatum and Howe Trigona.

OUR POLLY IS A SAD SLUT!
NOR HEEDS WHAT WE HAVE TAUGHT HER.
I WONDER ANY MAN ALIVE
WILL EVER REAR A DAUGHTER.
FOR SHE MUST HAVE
BOTH HOOPS AND GOWNS
AND HOODS TO SWELL HER PRIDE,
WITH SCARFS AND STAYS
AND GLOVES AND LACE,
AND SHE WILL HAVE MEN BESIDE;
AND WHEN SHE'S DRESSED
WITH CARE AND COST,
ALL-TEMPTING FINE AND GAY,
AS MEN SHOULD SERVE A COWCUMBER,
SHE FLINGS HERSELF AWAY.

POLLY: Played by Rep. Marque Kirque

CAN LOVE BE CONTROLLED BY ADVICE?
WILL CUPID OUR MOTHERS OBEY?
THOUGH MY HEART
WERE AS FROZEN AS ICE,
AT HIS FLAME
'TWOULD HAVE MELTED AWAY.
WHEN HE KISSED ME
SO CLOSELY HE PRESSED,
'TWAS SO SWEET
THAT I MUST HAVE COMPLIED:
SO I THOUGHT IT
BOTH SAFEST AND BEST
TO MARRY,
FOR FEAR YOU SHOULD CHIDE.

Sing it Girls!